Work colleague..depressed?

berger89

I know this is in the wrong forum but I'm not sure which one to put it in. Only reason it's here is because it's to do with a work colleague.

I've been a little worried about her for a good while now, and today kind of validated something for me. She has gotten herself into a little spot and I don't think she knows how to get out of it.

She goes out a lot. She drinks a lot. She could go socialising maybe 4 nights a week, and goes particularly mad at the weekends. I had a feeling for a while that she was compensating for something. I think she is drinking to fill some sort of void in her life.

She told me yesterday that she is feeling sad, and that she feels sad a lot. I think she drinks to cover this up. Everyone sees her at this fun loving party girl. Don't get me wrong, everyone really likes her and she is genuinely one of the soundest girls out there, but she hides behind this a lot. Yesterday she opened up. She felt unwell, and put it down to the alcohol, and was saying she needs to give it up for a while because she is sad now. She told me how her closest friends all have fellas now and she has no one. SO i think she compensates by drinking.
I'm seriously concerned for her. I told her she needs a break from work, she needs to get away just by herself, and get her head in a good place.

Myself and a male colleague are her closest friends in work. I was chatting with him and he said he can see the same signs in her as he can in his father. His father is an alcoholic, and both of us think that she is heading that way.

I don't know what way to approach it. She knows she can talk to me more than anyone else there in work. And we have good chats and conversations together. I don't like seeing her suffer, but I don't want to make a "big deal", or make her feel she has a problem. But I know she has. I think she is depressed.

Sorry for the really long message.
Any advice for her?

boobar

As she has said, she wants to give it up, I suppose you could be supportive, if organising social events at work try to avoid the night out in the pub activity all the time.

Has this woman spoken to her gp? It's a difficult one to know how to handle this correctly, get too close and you could be accused of interfering or worse. You're the best to know if you could advise her to talk to her gp

But I think if you're already friendly with this woman, then she may take your advice as being well intentioned.

Mrs OBumble

It's admirable that you care - but you aren't qualified to diagnose depression or alcoholism. Suggest that she should see her doctor.

berger89

No I think if I suggested to her she go see a doctor she could get very annoyed. I'm not diagnosing her as such but I've watched Bressie's mental health speech and I read up a lot on AWARE's info, so I can see the warning signs.

She just feels lost. She suffers a little from middle child syndrome too, as she has admitted. We are both young, so her siblings are away in college and living away from home, so she feels isolated.

She's a good person, and deserves only goodness. Hopefully she'll come round.