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Now Ye're Talking - To a Transgender Woman
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I've stated before that I intend to not avail of gender recognition as it is currently proposed, and for a good practical reason. But the truth of the matter is that marriage equality will come in May, and so my practical reason for not getting my gender recognised will evaporate.Does this particular Bill (in its current amended form as changed before 2nd Seanad Debate) represent what you want and what Dr Lydia Foy have fought so long for? Does it reconcile the differences between Irish and EU Human Rights Law? How are you feeling with it dragging on and on at each stage, surely it must be tedious waiting and waiting on it..? And given that there has been pressure on Ireland to finally deal with it after abandoning it, do you think that the various organisations - the EU and UN for example - should have been more proactive or challenging in finally getting Ireland to deal with it given there was indeed a need to provide for it?
However I'm so upset over the proposals that I'm considering never getting my gender recognised anyway, as a form of protest. Thankfully the consequences on my day-to-day life would be minimal. I feel that if I were to get my gender recognised under this Government's scheme, I'd be dishonouring the journey I've had to make to realise Deirdre.
I suspect Dr. Foy is happy with the proposals. She's fought long and hard, and she just wants it to be over, and she'll qualify for her new birth cert under the proposals. And she is old, and I know that I'd hate to see her die before she gets that bit of paper. I'm happy for her, and I'm happy for the others who need that piece of paper for whatever reason.
The proposals are the bare minimum this Government needs to do to get the EU court of human rights off their back. However they have already come under fierce criticism from the EU human rights commissioner for their sickeningly conservative and disrespectful approach. I can't really fault the EU or the UN or any other organisation - they have been criticising the Government roundly at every opportunity - and the fact of the matter is that our Government seems immune to their criticisms.
Personally I don't mind it dragging on - so long as it helps the legislation get better. I'm in no mad rush to get my birth cert changed. I will qualify under the scheme, but the fact of the matter is that using my birth cert is a rare thing, and whereas it's dreadfully uncomfortable to have to use a piece of documentation which outs me as transgender, I can live with it. It's more a symbolic thing than a practical thing - albeit a hugely important symbolic thing. There are much bigger issues facing the transgender community - mental health, suicide, trans-specific healthcare, violence. However, getting properly recognised in law might, I guess, have a trickle-down effect on those issues.
On a personal level, the requirement that irks me the most is the medicalisation issue - the fact that I have to get a doctor to tell the government I'm transgender. Which means that, once again, in spite of 4 independent diagnoses of gender identity disorder, I'm probably going to have to prostrate myself in front of yet another doctor and beg him to allow me to be me. :mad: I'm sick of not having agency over my identity. Also, as far as I am concerned, the legislation requires doctors to lie. The doctor has to say that I fully understand the consequences of the decision (ugh!
) to live the rest of my life in my "preferred" (ugh ) gender. I'm 5 years in, and I'm still learning what those consequences are - so how can a doctor say that I know what the consequences are?!
On a wider level, the age requirement is bollocks. There is this idea that transgender people don't know ourselves - that we must be delusional, or influenced by other forces - and especially if we are young. smh.
And there is the divorce clause. It's rare enough, though certainly not unheard of, for marriages with a transgender person to survive transition. But it's bollox for such a loving, loveable, transgender person to have to choose between their marriage/family and their identity.
I've just disconnected in disgust from the whole thing. When gender recognition comes in, I'll see how I feel, but right now, I just feel disgusted.0 -
I actually don't know. Testosterone is a "stronger" hormone than estrogen - it is pretty good at masculising people. But I guess some would need that bit of extra help - and I don't know if it's available.You mentioned facial surgery to give a more feminine appearance. Is there a masculine facial surgery?
Hormones take a while to produce results...A friend of mine transitioned. I don't recall a drastic change at any point
I barely remember me as a male, other than my namealthough their would have been gaps due to life that we didn't see each other for a few months.He looks more like a man then me ( broad shoulders, good looking), and despite knowing him for a few years before, I can't remember him as a woman at all other than his name. Is it as common?
Yes its common. I think when you live life authentically, and display that authenticity, and it is seen as authentic, it's hard to see the other as anything other than the false facade it was.
I don't understand what you are saying there ... ?I just never remember it being mentioned as an option.
You don't remember what being an option? Masculisation surgery? I've never heard of it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.0 -
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I honestly don't know. I haven't been in relationship myself (ever!) so I have no personal experiences to draw on. I know a lot of my trans friends are in relationships, but I don't know if they had to suffer the kind of rejection you mention before getting there.December2012 wrote: »In your experience do most transgender people end up in a relationship (if that's what they want), or is it hard for others to accept the transgender persons past?
Your question, though, boils down to "does transphobia impact on the ability of people to maintain a budding relationship with a transgender person?". I imagine it happens, but I couldn't comment on how frequently.
Thanks. My body doesn't do my face justice, unfortunately, but at least I have thatBy the way, you look like a beautiful woman. 0 -
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Two videos of me doing activism work (in case you are also wondering what I sound like :P )
The first is motion 19 - the motion I proposed at the Labour Party conference of 2012. I hasten to add that I've since resigned from the party.
The second is outside RTE in relation to the transphobic show "The Centre"
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I have a passion - an itch that needs to be scratched. I'd love to scratch it by being a trans activist.Would you generally see yourself as an activist for transgender rights?
Definitely not TENI - and that's a story in itself. I was talking to my lawyers yesterday about TENI and I, and I expect to be sending them a solicitors letter shortly. 'nuff said.Or could you see yourself in that role in the future, working with TENI or even working with TGEU?
I'd be reluctant to be involved with TGEU, for the simple reason that I've found through bitter experience that activist organisations can be dreadfully political, and are often full of backstabbers and career politicians. It is that same sort of bitter experience with TENI that brought me to my lawyers office yesterday
Probably. But as far as I can see the toxicity often contained in the organisations themselves is such that I don't see how I can be involved with them, and that is something that breaks my heart and angers me to my core, as I'd love to be using my talents to help bring about that kind of change. And I don't know how to "vet" the good organisations from the bad.I wasn't aware of TGEU - although it is possible you mentioned it - but has such an umbrella organisation proved to be a voice heard within the EU Parliament itself? Does it give that bit of extra strength or credibility to groups like TENI and even yourself on particular matters when dealing with a particular issue?
I'm currently looking at ways in which I can use my talents in other ways to help bring about change. As was said in the intro, I'm currently studying TV presenting and production - it would be an absolute dream for me to get a job as a TV or radio presenter, and the feedback I'm getting suggests it's possible. And I hope by simply living my life openly, and well, and without apology, in front of a TV camera or radio microphone, it might just send out the kinds of messages about transgender people (as well as messages to transgender people in the closet) that might help bring about change.
I've been at the labour party conference, I've spoken outside RTE, I've done a year of LGBT radio, but the most powerful activism-related thing that ever happened to and for me is when I was in the kitchen of a rented cottage just outside Sligo. A trans woman had reached her "breaking point", came into the kitchen, and announced to me and a fellow activist that she was, from that point forwards, never again going to present as male, and she was going to take whatever social consequences that entailed. She gave a most moving speech (which reduced my activist friend and I to tears) about her right to be herself. That moment was worth any amount of trips to Leinster House or RTE.0 -
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Yes - but my problem is I don't know how to figure out if an organisation is going to be "good" or "bad". I've recently discovered that another organisation I thought was "good" isn't.A horrible generalisation
It has caused, and continues to cause, a tremendous amount of grief. I've been suicidal trying to deal with the consequences of what happenedI hope its not something that causes you to much grief whatever the issue, and if it already has that it is resolved swiftly. And I suspect it's going to drag on for quite some time, as everyone (even organisations other than TENI) has put up a wall of silence that I need to break down in order to undo the damage.
What I would say to everyone is - if TENI, or any other organisation, offers you something, by all means take it. Use them. But be careful about trusting them. I've yet to come across a voluntary organisation that is about what it says it's about. All voluntary organisations are, in fact, about fulfilling the personal needs of those involved in them - if they weren't fulfilling those personal needs, then those people wouldn't be involved! And sometimes you'll find an organisation where those personal needs are a need to feel good about giving you something.0 -
OK - this AMA was threatening to get off-topic there, so let's revert to the question at hand.
It's important to note that my experience of gender is one of many within the wider trans community. There is no one way to be trans. In particular, I think it's important to note that most trans people don't transition, and they don't transition simply because they don't need to!
A non-transitioning male-to-female trans person is often called a transvestite. I know many transvestites. Some of them are almost-but-not-quite transgender, but most are simply people who have a strong need to express themselves in a feminine way. And it's a deep-seated non-sexual need (as opposed to a desire, though of course the need creates a desire).
Whereas there are some legal protections for transitioning transgender people, there are none for those who don't need to transition. The activist part of me finds that unacceptable. Indeed the transgender part of me is also suspicious of it - it is as if I'm being rewarded for upholding the gender binary by going from one box to the other, which is in stark contrast to my transvestite and other non-transitioning trans friends - friends who are amongst a wider set of trans people who occupy both boxes.
To paraphrase Dr. Who - trans is like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly gender-wender stuff
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUA97GIdPCU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNI4u3tZBvM
This discussion has been closed.
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