Is it actually possible to make new friends in this city?

Sundew

Lucena wrote: »

So how's California workin' out for you then?

Well apart from the locals keeping horses in their backyards...just fine! ;-)

syklops

Sundew wrote: »

Well apart from the locals keeping horses in their backyards...just fine! ;-)

So like Tallaght then?

lonelyuphere

SMJSF wrote: »

I can *kind of* understand where your coming from, but I also think your narrow minded TBH!
Like I'm 21, and have no friends anywhere near my age, or where I live! I don't fit in with people my age because I also don't have much in common (I'm a care leaver, live on my own, no siblings, I don't drink, not into fashion, etc).
but I always end up good friends with older people, which there is nothing wrong at all!

Of course your'e completely right but I just think it's important to have some friends your own age.

Sundew wrote: »

I left the country because of people like you.......people who want designer friends, people who measure friendship by good looks, the qualifications they have, the car they drive, the B.S they speak, how many generations you go back in the local village....you don't get that in Dublin!

If you can't find at least one person on the same wave length as yourself in Dublin......then there is something wrong!!!?

You saw right through me, everyone is just an ugly blow.

No one seems able to tell me where to meet these people on the same wave length? I dont see myself as on the community garden wave length but maybe you can convince me otherwise, what are they like?

syklops

lonelyuphere wrote: »

Of course your'e completely right but I just think it's important to have some friends your own age.


You saw right through me, everyone is just an ugly blow.

No one seems able to tell me where to meet these people on the same wave length? I dont see myself as on the community garden wave length but maybe you can convince me otherwise, what are they like?

We have asked you repeatedly to provide some of your interests so we can help and you havn't complied. Its hard to find your wave length with out having a starting point.

90% of my friends, Im friends with because we share common interests. In fact Im trying to think of someone who doesnt share similar interests that Im friends with and Im coming up short.

January

Seriously, post your interests and someone can tell you where you might make friends.

Ken Shamrock

January wrote: »

Seriously, post your interests and someone can tell you where you might make friends.

He said he doesn't want to post them because he doesn't want to give any clues about his identity, best of closing this baby down.

weldoninhio

You should watch the Paul Rudd classic, I Love You, Man. You might pick up some pointers.

You seem to be stationed well above any of the helpful pointers that anyone here has given you. You have shot down any groups/hobbies that have been suggested to you. You've refused to put down any interest of your own, with the excuse that someone will recognise you. Who?? You've got no friends!!! If you stick down Tennis or something like that do you think the board is gonna be bombarded with messages like "Mark, I knew it was you!!"???

You've said that the meetup groups had socially anxious people in them? You sound socially anxious. Everyone except you is weird, or autistic etc. Have you thought that it's maybe you that's the problem???

pwurple

syklops wrote: »

90% of my friends, Im friends with because we share common interests. In fact Im trying to think of someone who doesnt share similar interests that Im friends with and Im coming up short.

Ah now, I don't share 90% of my interests with my friends. Most of my friends have only a small thing in common with me, some have nothing at all bar we crossed paths and got along. I moved to a new area a couple of years ago. I made it one of my priorities to get to know people living close to me and make some new buddies. I live in a city, not some rural village.


That meant going out for a walk every day, and stopping to chat with people at the bus stop, in the cafe, out for walks with their dogs, the local priests, publicans, guard, shopkeepers, teachers, my neighbours. You know, the community!

I hang out with people I consider friends that range in age from teenagers up to people in their 80's. Some people I see in the pub, some pop over for a cuppa, some we meet at the park, or in the church, or wherever.

What exactly is the point of restricting it down to a tiny teensy subset of people who are the same age and have the same interests as you? How bloody boring is that! I'm much more interested in talking to people who DON'T have the same interests as me! I was talking to a guy at the weekend who I met walking his dog, and he started telling me about restoring stained glass windows. I didn't know a damn thing about stained glass windows, but I do now! I've seen him in the pub a couple of times, I'll go over to him and have a chat for a few minutes the next time I see him there. We are acquaintances now, give it a year or so and we might be friends. He's probably 20-30 years older than me.


Holy feck like. This country is renowned throughout the world for being friendly. Just open your gob and show an interest.

syklops

pwurple wrote: »

Ah now, I don't share 90% of my interests with my friends. Most of my friends have only a small thing in common with me, some have nothing at all bar we crossed paths and got along. I moved to a new area a couple of years ago. I made it one of my priorities to get to know people living close to me and make some new buddies. I live in a city, not some rural village.


That meant going out for a walk every day, and stopping to chat with people at the bus stop, in the cafe, out for walks with their dogs, the local priests, publicans, guard, shopkeepers, teachers, my neighbours. You know, the community!

I hang out with people I consider friends that range in age from teenagers up to people in their 80's. Some people I see in the pub, some pop over for a cuppa, some we meet at the park, or in the church, or wherever.

What exactly is the point of restricting it down to a tiny teensy subset of people who are the same age and have the same interests as you? How bloody boring is that! I'm much more interested in talking to people who DON'T have the same interests as me! I was talking to a guy at the weekend who I met walking his dog, and he started telling me about restoring stained glass windows. I didn't know a damn thing about stained glass windows, but I do now! I've seen him in the pub a couple of times, I'll go over to him and have a chat for a few minutes the next time I see him there. We are acquaintances now, give it a year or so and we might be friends. He's probably 20-30 years older than me.


Holy feck like. This country is renowned throughout the world for being friendly. Just open your gob and show an interest.

I didnt say my friends share 90% of my interests, I said 90% of my friends share(one or sum of) my interests. I bet you'd be hard pushed to find one of your friends you share no interests with.

And if you look earlier in the thread, I gave an example of two friends of mine who are much older than me. I even criticised the OP for only looking for people his age.

syklops

Bob.Carcass wrote: »

He said he doesn't want to post them because he doesn't want to give any clues about his identity, best of closing this baby down.

We dont need his life story, just a couple of things he likes to do.

Greenmachine

I am going to against he grain here a little. I honestly think the OP, is afraid of trying new things. He probably has a touch of depression going on how quickly he knocks every suggestion. My recommendation is to forget about making friends, start doing the things you like more often, to feed your interests. This should give you a sense of fulfillment, when you are better at this, challenge yourself and try, really try some new things. If you are projecting negativity then people, will continue to act strangely around you. Your own personal value should start with yourself, then find friends that support you. It doesn't really work in reverse.

The Master

Deleted User wrote: »

Did someone mention Dublin City Boards Beers?

This

The Master

The Master wrote: »

This

Ok, but you have to promise to come! Not just you personally. People.

I used to run the Dublin City beers in Rathmines.

We're trying to get away from the image of social ineptitude and weirdos now, right?

syklops

Deleted User wrote: »

Ok, but you have to promise to come! Not just you personally. People.

I used to run the Dublin City beers in Rathmines.

We're trying to get away from the image of social ineptitude and weirdos now, right?

If you want the OP to come then yes.

syklops

syklops wrote: »

If you want the OP to come then yes.

I better get someone else to run it so....

Icepick

Hard to make friends after high school and college. Friends not acquaintances.
Also, harder befriending locals as they already have friends and little time or reason for more.

syklops

Icepick wrote: »

Hard to make friends after high school and college. Friends not acquaintances.
Also, harder befriending locals as they already have friends and little time or reason for more.

I found making friends after school eleventy billion times easier after school than I did when i was there. Everyones different I suppose. Making friends with locals is harder in more rural areas. In dublin people are much more friendly.

bleary

Most of my friends post 25 are from work, if you can't meet people there maybe you should think about moving to a more conducive environment.

Besides that I've been in your shoes many times , many moves and I have made friends and had a great social life but you will have to be the one taking the leap and asking people out for a pint a coffee or to things you are interested in.
It won't happen otherwise.

Maybe try to see if there are any people from your home area you could meet, how about friends of friends? You need to get over your worries about what other people might think of you , if they think you are 'wierd' etc

At the meet ups I have had good ones and bad ones but I found the more involved I was I usually met the more social people