Best advice youve had

Putin

TheOtherBloke wrote: »

Best advice youve had

Never trust the Yanks.

Boom_Bap

Always question recycled toilet tissue. Always.

BillJ

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Never panic


Name one situation in the history of the world that was made better by panicking.

The panic button industry would go to crap if everyone takes this advice

foxy farmer

There's 3 sides to any controversial story- your side, my side, and the truth.

wexandproud

Nadser wrote: »

My godfather once told !e, over a pint of Guinness, "you can never beat the system, you can only learn how to play it". Best advice ever, saved me a lot of stress over the years.

this reminds of one of many things my father told me and i have written it somewhere else on boards '' The world is not flat its crooked and the sooner you accept it he happier you'll be ''

another favourite of his was '' believe nothing you hear and only half what you see''

my father passed away last year and the family often sit around and talk about him as he was a real character , and this real gem came back to me

a few days before i got married [long time ago] i was sitting at home and he say's come on were goin for a pint . sitting up at the bar he turns to me and says , so your gettin married next week , ya says i.. well says he im gonna tell ya a story, ok says i

a mouse came out of his hole at the side of the railway track and carelessly wandered about and crossed the track, on hearing the train he bolted for his hole and was driven over and killed.. Now says me father do you get the moral of this story , no says i sitting there bewildered ..

Dont loose your head going for you hole says he

.. well i nearly pissed meself laughing as did everyone else along the bar

MadDog76

My Dad said to me once "Son you've only got two things to sell in this world, your time and your labour, don't give either away for free and if you do, make sure it's to somebody who deserves it ........."

Gwynplaine

Mehaffey1 wrote: »

Always remember the story behind the Snow Patrol song Chasing Cars where the lead singer's father (Gary Lightbody) gave his son a piece of advice over pining after a girl. "You're like a dog chasing a car, you'll never catch it. Even if you did you wouldn't know what to do with it"

I much prefer the Joker's version.

porsche959

As me old father used to say, always...no wait, never...yeah that was it...always....no wait..it'll come to me in a sec....

Magenta

Hermy wrote: »

My Dad always said 'Work to live - don't live to work.'

On a similar note = "Never love your job more than you love yourself".
IE if you are seriously suffering because of your job, leave.

a postere

TheOtherBloke wrote: »

Ok, what is the best piece of advice you've ever had?..

Don't eat yellow snow . . .

a postere

Oh and I forgot . . .

"Whatever you tell them . . . tell them nothing"

WoollyRedHat

They're only people.

Your health is your wealth.

Don't wish your life away.

Streetwalker

Never answer the front door, it could be the TV licence man.

IamtheWalrus

A few older folk have mentioned recently how fast their lives have gone and old age creeps up on you. Scared me.

Frynge

Outside of dogs, books are a mans best friend. Inside of dogs it's too dark to read.

junospider

Say nothing and keep saying it!

artanevilla

You only need two things in life: A good pair of shoes, and a good mattress, cause if you're not in one, you're in the other.

joe40

When there's plenty take a lot; when there's a little take it all!!

Crumpets

Don't open that second bottle of wine






FÃ႒¹ck you all, it's opened

Dozer Dave

You cannot watch the parade and drive in it at the same time.

Merrion

There's no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes.

Merrion

Also - no matter how extraordinary your life is, if you die on the toilet that is the main thing you will be remembered for.

Dozer Dave

Merrion wrote: »

Also - no matter how extraordinary your life is, if you die on the toilet that is the main thing you will be remembered for.

Sure would be a crap place to die.

Merrion

If you have to work on wiring and don't know if the circuit is live or not, keep your left hand in your back pocket.
That way if it is live and you get a shock the current won't cross your heart.
Also - when you get a shock your hand will definitely contract so if its in your back pocket you won't constrict your balls.

Gwynplaine

Merrion wrote: »

There's no such thing as bad weather, only the wrong clothes.

I said that to a lad one night while out having a smoke. It was mid December, he was wearing a Tshirt, and he was complaining about the cold.
It went completely over his head.

ectoraige

artanevilla wrote: »

You only need two things in life: A good pair of shoes, and a good mattress, cause if you're not in one, you're in the other.

Add good tyres to that.

foxy farmer

A 4wd vehicle is only as good as the tyres under it and more importantly the person driving it.

a postere

Farmers can't drive, they just like blocking roads and people who have real work to do.

The Dark Side

Gwynplaine wrote: »

I said that to a lad one night while out having a smoke. It was mid December, he was wearing a Tshirt, and he was complaining about the cold.
It went completely over his head.

That's how t-shirts usually go on.

thelad95

There's always a lot of talk about how young people should spend their summers working and looking to advance their CV but I don't agree with that. When you're young, you are at a stage in your life when you have the chance to create moment and memories that you won't be able to later on in life. Why spend all that time entering the 'rat race' uo the career ladder. There will still be plenty of opportunities to advance your career, of course you'll have to work with bit harder but if you want it badly enough, you'll still get your dream job.

I think a lot of people who have success in their careers later regret not having more fun or spending more time with the ones they love. Money and careers are a necessary evil. They are important but they shouldn't dictate your life.

the_monkey

My brother when I was about 21 - "never have regrets, about anything, you cannot change the past, but what you can do is shape the future"

Has really helped me - I see so many people wasting time moaning about decisions they've made in the past and how they wasted this and that .... such a pointless pointless endevour

kaloshma

Never wait more than 3 seconds to approach a girl you like.

mcko

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

A few older folk have mentioned recently how fast their lives have gone and old age creeps up on you. Scared me.

I am 45 and can agree, where do the years go, enjoy every day as best you can.

Micky Dolenz

mcko wrote: »

I am 45 and can agree, where do the years go, enjoy every day as best you can.

It's a proven scientific fact, the older you get, the faster time goes. Certainly feels like it.

yellowlabrador

Like my neighbour says each August bank holiday,
'you might as well say it's xmas'.
:eek: It drives me nuts and I'm always waiting for it.

worded

yellowlabrador wrote: »

Like my neighbour says each August bank holiday,
'you might as well say it's xmas'.
:eek: It drives me nuts and I'm always waiting for it.

Someone I knew you to say one week into a 3 week holiday .... It's flying by!
Negative person

Every year there after I used to say the same on day 1.
She didnt say it again

Trick with your neighbour is this
On may 1 or even now say .... It will be 21st june longest day of the year before we know it ! Or say that when the summer clock changes an hour.

:-)

yellowlabrador

worded wrote: »

Someone I knew you to say one week into a 3 week holiday .... It's flying by!
Negative person

Every year there after I used to say the same on day 1.
She didnt say it again

Trick with your neighbour is this
On may 1 or even now say .... It will be 21st june longest day of the year before we know it ! Or say that when the summer clock changes an hour.

:-)

she already says these things herself. xmas gets me.i'm avoiding her like the plague. She spends most xmasses in the a&e , having worked herself into a panic attack.

Yearning4Stormy

SoftMicro wrote: »

...movie or not.

It's from the (excellent) Will Smith movie, "Seven Pounds".

From one of my favourite comedians, Craig Ferguson, along the lines of "revenge is a dish best served cold":

"Ask yourself three questions. Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me now?"

Also Craig (and also my mantra when the big black dog is nipping at the heels):

"Maybe fear is God's way of saying, 'Pay attention, this could be fun.'"

Lollipops23

Don't trust someone who doesn't own books.

Micky Dolenz

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Don't trust someone who doesn't own books.

Tell that to someone with a library card

mikom

Question everything.

salmocab

mikom wrote: »

Question everything.

why?

MRnotlob606

I remember I was in bit of a pickle in school with my English teacher. He tried to reassure me in the end and said "today is the first day of the rest of your life"

Into The Blue

Melisandre121 wrote: »

Every morning, write down 3 things you're grateful for and watch your life change.

Can it be the same three things each morning?
What time in the morning?
Should i have a note pad by the bed, or will after breakfast do?
Do i keep them secret, or can my wife help?
What if i think of more than three? Can i save the extras till tomorrow?

Santa Cruz

galljga1 wrote: »

Don't drink the lemonade.

Similar to old Eskimo saying " Dont melt yellow snow to make tea"

Into The Blue

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

today is the first day of the rest of your life

So is tomorrow.

Santa Cruz

Best advice I ever got was "If you get a reputation for getting up early you can stay in bed until dinner time"

Soups123

Don't be afraid to ask a stupid question. If you do ask you may look stupid if you don't ask you remain stupid

Into The Blue

yellowlabrador wrote: »

Like my neighbour says each August bank holiday,
'you might as well say it's xmas'.
:eek: It drives me nuts and I'm always waiting for it.

My mam txts me every may May 1st, 'days start getting shorter next month'

actuar90

Any more than three shakes is a w*nk