Best advice youve had

wilhelm roentgen

As someone that earns their living in the oil industry, I was advised by a former work colleague back in the 1980's to never work in a country that ends in 'stan'

Northern Monkey

Fast women and slow horses will cost you money.

Vernonymous

Do something today that your future self will thank you.

Shrap

Mehaffey1 wrote: »

"You're like a dog chasing a car, you'll never catch it. Even if you did you wouldn't know what to do with it"

That's a good one. My best friend had one from her mother that was similar: "Never run after a man or a bus. You'll catch neither"

mkdon05

You'll never get a chance that you don't ask for.

The Mulk

When you walk into a crowded room think to yourself

"Every woman in this room wants me and every man wants to be me"

Works wonders for the self confidence.

RayCon

worded wrote: »

Corporate advice ...

CYOA

Cover your own arse

Detest that attitude ... have been around it for the last 15yrs and it's still sickens me. Usually used by the most incompetent.

foxy farmer

Any day that you can wipe your own arse is a good day.

swimming in a sea

An old boss of mine told me the easiest way to get a pay rise is to get a new job.

Best advice I've had, it's not 100% as you may be on track to join the board of directors if you stick it out but for most people the job your in is the one your stuck with.

FluffyAngel

never be both buyer and seller ..

i still have to explain that line to people when i use it..

Alanhooly

A fool in the morning is still a fool in the evening.

Wacker The Attacker

Never stick a banger up your arse at halloween

RoboRat

I used to get annoyed when things happened that weren't fair... lazy colleagues getting promoted, assholes getting away with stuff they shouldn't etc... it used to drive me mad until I read somewhere a passage saying:

Don't ever think that life is fair and just and don't expect everything to be fair. Once you realise this and accept it, it makes life a lot easier.

The other standouts would be regret what you didn't, not what you did and in 5 years nobody will give a **** or even remember.

not yet

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Never stick a banger up your arse at halloween

How about Easter..?

TheOtherBloke

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Never stick a banger up your arse at halloween

Why not?

Nadser

My godfather once told !e, over a pint of Guinness, "you can never beat the system, you can only learn how to play it". Best advice ever, saved me a lot of stress over the years.

Summer wind

A closed mouth catches no flies. In other words think hard before you speak.

Chrome342

Summer wind wrote: »

A closed mouth catches no flies. In other words think hard before you speak.

Nice metaphor. I like it.

Mr.Plough

Eat pressure, sh1t results.

imitation

Not much use to me, but on dating an engineer:

The odds are good but the goods are odd.

Putin

TheOtherBloke wrote: »

Best advice youve had

Never trust the Yanks.

Boom_Bap

Always question recycled toilet tissue. Always.

BillJ

Timberrrrrrrr wrote: »

Never panic


Name one situation in the history of the world that was made better by panicking.

The panic button industry would go to crap if everyone takes this advice

foxy farmer

There's 3 sides to any controversial story- your side, my side, and the truth.

wexandproud

Nadser wrote: »

My godfather once told !e, over a pint of Guinness, "you can never beat the system, you can only learn how to play it". Best advice ever, saved me a lot of stress over the years.

this reminds of one of many things my father told me and i have written it somewhere else on boards '' The world is not flat its crooked and the sooner you accept it he happier you'll be ''

another favourite of his was '' believe nothing you hear and only half what you see''

my father passed away last year and the family often sit around and talk about him as he was a real character , and this real gem came back to me

a few days before i got married [long time ago] i was sitting at home and he say's come on were goin for a pint . sitting up at the bar he turns to me and says , so your gettin married next week , ya says i.. well says he im gonna tell ya a story, ok says i

a mouse came out of his hole at the side of the railway track and carelessly wandered about and crossed the track, on hearing the train he bolted for his hole and was driven over and killed.. Now says me father do you get the moral of this story , no says i sitting there bewildered ..

Dont loose your head going for you hole says he

.. well i nearly pissed meself laughing as did everyone else along the bar

MadDog76

My Dad said to me once "Son you've only got two things to sell in this world, your time and your labour, don't give either away for free and if you do, make sure it's to somebody who deserves it ........."

Gwynplaine

Mehaffey1 wrote: »

Always remember the story behind the Snow Patrol song Chasing Cars where the lead singer's father (Gary Lightbody) gave his son a piece of advice over pining after a girl. "You're like a dog chasing a car, you'll never catch it. Even if you did you wouldn't know what to do with it"

I much prefer the Joker's version.

porsche959

As me old father used to say, always...no wait, never...yeah that was it...always....no wait..it'll come to me in a sec....

Magenta

Hermy wrote: »

My Dad always said 'Work to live - don't live to work.'

On a similar note = "Never love your job more than you love yourself".
IE if you are seriously suffering because of your job, leave.

a postere

TheOtherBloke wrote: »

Ok, what is the best piece of advice you've ever had?..

Don't eat yellow snow . . .