How to show women the real you.

Iron Man 2.0

The Corinthian wrote: »

Then do as I suggested. If you're right, they'll confirm your self image. If not, unless you want to respectfully disagree with everyone, it will give you a far more useful point of reference to work from.

I mean sensitive as in caring etc which I know I am. I don't mean sensitive as in taking offence in little things. How will they know what I feel etc? I know I am caring, nurturing and loving because that is just who I am.
They have said, I come across as the same as any other lad about.

jobbridge4life

Honestly Iron Man you seem to be confusing the objective with the means, intimacy with attraction. All the things you have described as a reason a woman should like are things that are built up in a relationship, intimate behaviour like cuddling, emotional connections such as being caring and attentive are the hallmarks of a good couple and are the things that a woman worth her time will appreciate and probably ensure you end up in a fulfilling long lasting relationship before long. Unfortunately there is no way for a woman who meets you to know this about you and even is she did that isn't to say it would pull her in on the night in question. Ultimately attraction precedes intimacy.

Iron Man 2.0

jobbridge4life wrote: »

Honestly Iron Man you seem to be confusing the objective with the means, intimacy with attraction. All the things you have described as a reason a woman should like are things that are built up in a relationship, intimate behaviour like cuddling, emotional connections such as being caring and attentive are the hallmarks of a good couple and are the things that a woman worth her time will appreciate and probably ensure you end up in a fulfilling long lasting relationship before long. Unfortunately there is no way for a woman who meets you to know this about you and even is she did that isn't to say it would pull her in on the night in question. Ultimately attraction precedes intimacy.

No, I know what ya mean, I've realised that and I mentioned that a few posts ago.

The Corinthian

Iron Man 2.0 wrote: »

I mean sensitive as in caring etc which I know I am. I don't mean sensitive as in taking offence in little things. How will they know what I feel etc? I know I am caring, nurturing and loving because that is just who I am.

Whatever. You know best.

More for the rest of us, TBH.

Iron Man 2.0

The Corinthian wrote: »

Whatever. You know best.

More for the rest of us, TBH.

You meant that my friends are able to tell me if I am sensitive or not because I wouldn't know myself? I'm lost.

Vandango

Iron Man 2.0 wrote: »

How to show women the real you.

Any advice?

Dropping the jocks is probably the quickest way.

Roquentin

you go out to enjoy yourself not to find love. a lot of people try to force the issue and when you do that you put yourself unconsciously under pressure. when you are under pressure you dont perform at your best.

i always say to lads dont go out to hook up with a woman. you go out to enjoy yourself and have a good time. by doing that you relax and become more impressive.

a good conversation is driven unconsciously. if you have to consciously think of your answers, you will come across as either cold, boring or creepy. henceforth one has to let your unconscious do the work.

Gannicus

ardinn wrote: »

Seriously, bang everything in sight, you'l get no street cred being nice!!

Also bang a pennies employee - Pennies girls talk about that **** - Be good tho!! or you'l be single forever!!

If that was even remotely true I doubt I'd be single the last 18months

Specialun

OP seems like a nice chap

If i was a woman i would

bodhrandude

I'm liking this thread its kinda like Pissy Missy's 'Anyone Fed up with being single' thread. I've been single a long time myself and I might just take Everlong's advice and snap up these books and give it a go. There is times when I've spoke to folk at music festivals and there would be girls in the company and of course us males get attracted and then I become concious that I might be leering or looking too much as you can sense them withdrawing from the circle, they sense your hunger, its very hard not to show this when you are lonely and desperate sometimes, so you stop looking and try to forget about them and that same single cycle starts again because you can't think what to say to break the ice. There was a line in that Something about Mary film where the guy said if you have a loaded gun to go and chug it off in the jacks, as you tend to be more relaxed after its done, I kinda believe that to an extent.

Everlong1

Iron Man 2.0 wrote: »

What alternative topics could ya use?

Read the books. It's not even so much that you need alternative topics as more interesting ways of discussing the usual ones. It's not something that can be learned from a couple of Boards posts. You need to study it and practice.

Everlong1

I should mention also that the books are written from an American perspective so some of the techniques described might seem sound bit daft in an Irish perspective, but the fundamental principles are the same everywhere - you just have to adjust for an Irish environment. The general idea is that chatting up women is not unlike a job interview. You might have what they're looking for, but it's up to you to sell yourself in such a way that they know you're the right person for the job.

It sounds harder than it is: basically it's just learning how to sound more interesting and thereby stand out from the hordes of other guys trying to chat her up. Even making the effort to look at what you're doing - or not doing - means that you're already ahead of the others.

Good luck.

bodhrandude

Jeezo the way you put it there Everlong, christ I'm pretty sh1t at getting a job too, I'm on a CE scheme FFS lol, I just need some confidence and charisma and maybe the occasional teeth polish at the dentist, I'm trying to give up the cigarettes soon again.

The Th!ng

Roll back your foreskin and show her your cheese factory.

Macavity.

Iron Man 2.0 wrote: »

I do get the 'you're so nice, how are you single' and the 'you'll find someone, you're too nice not to' lines a lot from girls.

Really? Is that actually a conversation that happens in real life?

tomwaterford

Macavity. wrote: »

Really? Is that actually a conversation that happens in real life?

Too often to me anyway

Macavity.

tomwaterford wrote: »

Too often to me anyway

How does it come up?

tomwaterford

Macavity. wrote: »

How does it come up?

Just in general chat like??

Roquentin

Everlong1 wrote: »

I should mention also that the books are written from an American perspective so some of the techniques described might seem sound bit daft in an Irish perspective, but the fundamental principles are the same everywhere - you just have to adjust for an Irish environment. The general idea is that chatting up women is not unlike a job interview. You might have what they're looking for, but it's up to you to sell yourself in such a way that they know you're the right person for the job.

It sounds harder than it is: basically it's just learning how to sound more interesting and thereby stand out from the hordes of other guys trying to chat her up. Even making the effort to look at what you're doing - or not doing - means that you're already ahead of the others.

Good luck.

100% agree. its about selling oneself. i would also add that it involves training the unconscious mind as well. it has to be natural and that is instinctive.

catallus

Roquentin wrote: »

100% agree. its about selling oneself. i would also add that it involves training the unconscious mind as well. it has to be natural and that is instinctive.

How to fake like you are a nice and caring person?