Sleepwalking to the toilet while Drunk

DulchieLaois

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

kneemos

Don't drink at all.

Mesrine65

http://bedwettingstore.com/bedwettingalarms.html?utm_expid=222473-8.0S8Az64LQFGl8aoQG8pSdQ.1&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.ie%2F

Menas

Don't drink for an hour before going to bed. Have a lash before you go to bed?

You are welcome!

Renegade Mechanic

An air horn to wake you up from a distance?

The Backwards Man

If you're drinking is inconveniencing someone else it's a no brainer, like it or not.

Drink less

libelula

In fairness, if drink is making you act the maggot to the point that your wife has to guide you around like a three year old...it's probably time to stop getting pissed tbh.

Generic Dreadhead

There has never been a more fitting thread to say one of those recently banned comments about urine :P

Kevin McCloud

Wear a nappy, alot of adults wear them. Its a fetish sort of thing.

kneemos

Hope you have some positive attributes.

sbsquarepants

Divorce then find a more understanding wife?
Or if you're fond of the one you have, introduce her to watersports. Tell her it's some crappy book or other - chicks love that shít.

Pumpkinseeds

Your wife is either a saint or a fool for putting up with it tbh. Honestly, man up and stop getting drunk.

Renegade Mechanic

Cormac... wrote: »

There has never been a more fitting thread to say one of those recently banned comments about urine :P

It's too perfect. I can't..

BLAST HER WITH PISS, OP!!!!!!



Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

Nodin

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

John

As I've heard of two people just pissing from where they stood (living room, standing on bed) I'd say you haven't the worst problem in the world, if that's any consolation.

chakotha

Drink vin not beer.

The only solution is drink less OP!

Generic Dreadhead

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

I genuinely had a loud laugh at this! :pac:

Gran Hermano

Rig up an electric fence to ward you away from the wardrobes and towards the en suite.

DulchieLaois

some good laughs , thanks guys !!

what is worse, is that i drank less, wasnt seriously drunk and in fact, went to the toilet for a good 20 minutes before going to bed, just to ensure, i dont have to bother her.

yet all failed !!!

and re drinking, tis down a lot from what i was wild rover in my younger days

BMJD

Drink more obviously, the problem only arises when you stop drinking and start sleeping.

Valetta

Would it help if you didn't have a wife?

Come back shortly and let us know.

Nino Brown

Tell your wife to rub your nose in it and put you outside, you won't be long about learning!

Dramatik

A clothes peg should sort it. If that fails try purchasing a garden hose from your local DIY, attach it and leave the other end sitting in the toilet bowl.

SEPT 23 1989

get the wife to put an adult nappy on you

WoollyRedHat

Sleep in the bath?

tmh106

Wow, what a helpful bunch

tmh

harry Bailey esq

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

John

Zopiclone

harry Bailey esq

Dramatik wrote: »

A clothes peg should sort it. If that fails try purchasing a garden hose from your local DIY, attach it and leave the other end sitting in the toilet bowl.

Sterling advice.

iMac_Hunt

I'm in the same boat!!

I was at a stag last weekend and locked myself out of the hotel room. I had to walk to reception in my underpants in order to get a key to get back into the room.

Not my proudest moment!!!!

Stone Deaf 4evr

DulchieLaois wrote: »

some good laughs , thanks guys !!

what is worse, is that i drank less, wasnt seriously drunk and in fact, went to the toilet for a good 20 minutes before going to bed, just to ensure, i dont have to bother her.

yet all failed !!!

and re drinking, tis down a lot from what i was wild rover in my younger days

20 mins? :eek: is it number 1's or number 2's that are causing the bother?

it kinda reminds me of the joke about the guy who was fond of the beer,came home an passes out,then woke up only to find himself reincarnated as a chicken. goes about his business on the farmyard and feels and urge coming on him. panicked, he asks the other chickens whats up, and they explain its an egg, to relax and gently push.

next thing he knows all he's hearing is "john, john, you dirty cnut, wake up!, you're sh1tting the bed!"

Rosie Rant

Stop drinking. Give your wife a medal.

Drakares

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

John

I laughed.

DulchieLaois

Any reason why it happens ?

spaceHopper

It happens because you are a piss artists

Try having a full fry before you go to bed best to get the wife to cook it. Or go to the chipper and get ten or twelve spice burgers....

spaceHopper

It happens because you are a piss artists

Try having a full fry before you go to bed best to get the wife to cook it. Or go to the chipper and get ten or twelve spice burgers....

Temptamperu

Im sure i pissed in a few peoples wardrobes when i was drinking myself.

ColeTrain

Pop 5 Viagra when you get in from the pub, you won't be pissing in the pitched tent.

Gran Hermano

Buy her a kitten
Blame the kitten.

anncoates

iMac_Hunt wrote: »

I'm in the same boat!!

I was at a stag last weekend and locked myself out of the hotel room. I had to walk to reception in my underpants in order to get a key to get back into the room.

Not my proudest moment!!!!

Happened to me once as well except I was naked.

bodice ripper

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

What a film.

endacl

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

It's too perfect. I can't..

BLAST HER WITH PISS, OP!!!!!!



Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

Dude.

TheOtherBloke

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

It's too perfect. I can't..

BLAST HER WITH PISS, OP!!!!!!



Avenge meeeeeeeee!!!

:pac::pac: this has made my day. One of the best answers on AH

The Diabolical Monocle

I once knew this guy who said that instead of getting out of bed he kept an empty plastic milk container under his bed which he'd piss into.
maybe op knows someone who can follow his method.

He said to go for a wide topped one cause he had a fat helmet, he also said the main problem is a gas build up which forces your helmet out, and that can cause leakage so he said its best to crush the plastic container first, and to keep some toilet paper handy and to always cap after use and keep well separate from your water.

Mint Aero

That's ridiculous OP and you should be ashamed of yourself. I'm really surprised you have a missus to put up with that abhorrent behavior.

Kevin McCloud

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

always cap after use and keep well separate from your water.

He is no bear grylls.

fleet_admiral

Install a toilet pot in the wardrobe op

bb1234567

DulchieLaois wrote: »

Hi,

I have a tendancy to sleepwalk when drunk, especially if i want to go to the toilet.

My poor wife keeps waking up and having to guide me to the toilets which is not funny anymore as I can literally go anywhere in the house

any advice please besides drinking less

Thanks

What possible other advice could we give other than to stop drinking? Tie you to your bed?

Miall108

OP you could hire one of those home help nurses to come out and change your nappy every so often. It would take that embarrassing burden off your poor wife

Kevin McCloud

Miall108 wrote: »

OP you could hire one of those home help nurses to come out and change your nappy every so often. It would take that embarrassing burden off your poor wife

All they do is sit on their hole, drink tay and watch some day time tele.

Van.Bosch

Tell your wife you should be commended for getting up, the alternative is wetting the bed.

fizzypish

I used to get the spinnies after drinking when I was younger. I couldn't go to bed when I came home or I'd end up getting sick. Solution. Make some food and watch TV for a while. You'll sober up a touch before bed and so won't have to play the "where'd I piss last night" game. I cooked a full steak, butter mushrooms and onions with a grinder loaf of bread lathered in butter at 4 in the morning once. Best food ever.