The biggest lies in movies...

Right Turn Clyde

When a couple have sex and the man feels compelled to strip down completely, starting with his shirt. It's as if he's wearing a onesie. In real life men frequently have sex with not as much as a shoelace untied. Only the cock needs to be accessible. Women, on the other hand, must be totally naked at all times.

Petrol pump attendants all wear dungarees and, if asked for directions by college kids, will inevitably end up stalking and killing them.

shockwave

Everyone in hospital has a private room, you never see anyone in a ward with other people.

doulikeit

That lovley little smack sound when someone gets decked and one punch knockouts it looks so easy, from what ive seen and received its usually a kind of urrmmmmppp sound followed by two assholes rolling on the ground trying to pull each others shirts off over their heads

Riddle101

Man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Barman gives him some random beer to drink with no name or no question as to what type of beer the man wants. Just a beer will do.

Poor Uncle Tom

All fingerprint identification is made in seconds, DNA test results are matched to current pictures of people within minutes.

kylith

All police pictures of suspects/anyone have been taken by a professional photographer in front of the same blue background.

AndyBoBandy

They never lock their car when they get out.

suicide_circus

ScumLord wrote: »

The mouse hasn't been invented. Everything is done via keyboard shortcuts and lots of typing.

Hackers are always hot chicks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8qgehH3kEQ

Poor Uncle Tom

NCIS - shooting a monitor stops the computer countdown.....:)

kylith

Andybobandy wrote: »

They never lock their car when they get out.

Not entirely a lie; When I visited a relative in New Jersey he didn't lock his car when we went to a diner.

silvervixen84

In romcoms, the couple have a huge fight and break up, with the girl storming off. Instead of trying to find her to make up, he's down at his local DIY shop, stocking up on dozens of candles and red roses so he can break into her apartment and set up the romantic "apology/proposal" scene. She instantly forgives him and the reason they broke up is forgotten about.

Or the couple break up and one of them immediately quits their job, terminates their lease and decides to move to another city/country, prompting the "frantic drive to the airport scene", where they catch their beloved at the gate (after somehow skipping security and having no boarding pass). Again, he/she is instantly forgiven and the reason they fought/broke up is forgotten.

Mister Vain

doulikeit wrote: »

its usually a kind of urrmmmmppp sound followed by two assholes rolling on the ground trying to pull each others shirts off over their heads

What sort of films have you been watching? :eek: :pac:

Littlehorny

Andybobandy wrote: »

They never lock their car when they get out.

Never lock there car, they never even bloody wind the windows up! ha ha

DEFTLEFTHAND

In real life in the Donnie Brasco movie Lefty Ruggiero was picked up the feds and sentenced to 20years for Racketeering.

When he got out he went straigth to Joe Massino the Bonanno boss of the time and asked for the contract on Joe Pistone. The Bonanno family to this day have a $500,000 tag over Pistone's head.

Boom_Bap

Littlehorny wrote: »

Never lock there car, they never even bloody wind the windows up! ha ha

They cant film cars with the windows rolled up because of the reflections.
You'll also notice that alot of cars in movies and TV shows have the headrest removed from the front seats.

When people go outside in the cold, they just rub their hands together and make a passing comment about the cold.
They don't throw a hissy fit tantrum that their boll0x has just sucked up into their lungs that its so cold and moan and b1tch and complain about the fooking cold for about 2 hours.

Littlehorny

^^^I meant they don't wind there windows up even when going into there apartment for the night with the car left parked at the side of a city street. I have noticed what you mean about the headrests though.

Boom_Bap

Littlehorny wrote: »

^^^I meant they don't wind there windows up even when going into there apartment for the night with the car left parked at the side of a city street. I have noticed what you mean about the headrests though.

Its for continuity, you're not supposed to notice the windows are down :cool:

lanos

TV remote controls make a click sound when you press a button.

Armed bombs go beep beep until they go off

Paramite Pie

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Its for continuity, you're not supposed to notice the windows are down :cool:

I never noticed this....

whatdoicare

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

When a couple have sex and the man feels compelled to strip down completely, starting with his shirt. It's as if he's wearing a onesie. In real life men frequently have sex with not as much as a shoelace untied. Only the cock needs to be accessible. Women, on the other hand, must be totally naked at all times.

Or the woman is always on top wearing a full cup bra and sheet artfully wrapped around her waist to cover their dignity.

No way would any fella be in such a hurry that he neglected the boobs!

Also there's always the roll over until hes on top, sheet doesn't fall off and her push up bra doesn't force her boobs up around her neck!

Capt'n Midnight

whatdoicare wrote: »

sheet doesn't fall off

That's the special L shaped sheets they use in Hollywoodland. The woman gets to stay on the long side.

AndyBoBandy

The clip in an Uzi sub machine gun seems to last forever without needing to be reloaded,

In reality, it would be empty in about 2-3 seconds!

Cienciano

Andybobandy wrote: »

The clip in an Uzi sub machine gun seems to last forever without needing to be reloaded,

In reality, it would be empty in about 2-3 seconds!

Another one. They call a magazine a clip.

AndyBoBandy

Our hero, while he had an almost endless amount of ammunition, couldn't seem to make any of them count, bar the odd henchman here and there,
But once he's down to his last bullet, it's a headshot between the eyes.

SimonTemplar

Computers make a beep sound every time anything appears on screen.

Into The Blue

All bombs have a red flashing light to indicate they're armed.

Topper Harley

Into The Blue wrote: »

All bombs have a red flashing light to indicate they're armed.

And a clock to tell you how long before it goes off. And if you cut the wrong wire when trying to disarm it, the clock speeds up.

CramCycle

doulikeit wrote: »

That lovley little smack sound when someone gets decked and one punch knockouts it looks so easy, from what ive seen and received its usually a kind of urrmmmmppp sound followed by two assholes rolling on the ground trying to pull each others shirts off over their heads

I remember seeing a "making of" from the Bourne Identity and the stunts co ordinator said the same, fights don't make loud noises bar the grunts and groans, so they spend as much time going over the scene afterwards adding in cracking wood noises and walloping telephone directories of table noises to add to the feel of the "movie" fight.

osarusan

CramCycle wrote: »

I remember seeing a "making of" from the Bourne Identity and the stunts co ordinator said the same, fights don't make loud noises bar the grunts and groans, so they spend as much time going over the scene afterwards adding in cracking wood noises and walloping telephone directories of table noises to add to the feel of the "movie" fight.

This is Foley post-production, pioneered by Jack Foley. Some pointers:

Common tricks

• Corn starch in a leather pouch makes the sound of snow crunching
• A pair of gloves sounds like bird wings flapping
• An arrow or thin stick makes a whoosh
• An old chair makes a controllable creaking sound
• A water soaked rusty hinge when placed against different surfaces makes a creaking sound. Different surfaces change the sound considerably
• A heavy staple gun combined with other small metal sounds make good gun noises
• A metal rake makes the rattle/squeak sound of chain-link fence (it can also make a metallic screech when dragged across a piece of metal)
• A heavy car door and fender can create most of the car sounds needed but having a whole car in the studio is better
• Burning plastic garbage bags cut into strips makes a realistic sounding candle or soft non-crackling fire when the bag melts and drips to the ground
• ¼” audio tape balled up sounds like grass or brush when walked on
• Gelatin and hand soap make squishing noises
• Frozen romaine lettuce makes bone or head injury noises
• Coconut shells cut in half and stuffed with padding makes horse hoof noises;this is parodied in Monty Python and the Holy Grail
• Cellophane creates crackling fire effects
• A selection of wooden and metal doors is needed to create all sorts of door noises, but also can be used for creaking boat sounds
• A heavy phone book makes body-punching sounds

• Acorns, small apples and walnuts on wooden parquet surface can be used for bones breaking
• Canned dog food can be used for alien pod embryo expulsions and monster vocalizations

awec

"The hard drive was bombed, burnt and then cut into a million different pieces with a blow torch before being thrown in a bucket of magnets.

But I managed to tape it together with cellotape and have recovered the name, address and telephone number of our killer."

mapaca

If someone is giving birth, or having major surgery, their entire family and friends will always sit around the hospital waiting room for the whole procedure, no matter how many hours/days it takes. They will pass the time by resolving issues or making jokes and complaining about the poor quality of the tea and coffee.

AndyBoBandy

mapaca wrote: »

If someone is giving birth, or having major surgery, their entire family and friends will always sit around the hospital waiting room for the whole procedure, no matter how many hours/days it takes. They will pass the time by resolving issues or making jokes and complaining about the poor quality of the tea and coffee.

and having cut away flash backs to happier times,
then, after a while, uncle Donny will show up, you know the dark horse of the family, he'll use the situation to get himself cleaned up, on the straight & narrow, and rebuild all the burnt bridges from his troubled past.

ScumLord

Things in space blowing up with a massive fireball. Then the explosion makes noise.

Good guys are able to shot out peoples knees in gunfights and the shot somehow renders the bad guy unconscious so he can't fight back. I'm looking at you "persons of interest".

The Dark Side

Trips to the toilet are always really interesting.

You'll either be attacked, meet someone strange or overhear an important conversation.

jmayo

People can always find parking just outside office/shop or whatever they are going into, even if busy street.

Conversations of only main protagonists are pefectly audible in busy nightclubs.

Computer geeks can just sit at any computer and manage to get into any system in couple of minutes.
This was even before new computers and fast telecoms.
No waiting for bootup, modem connections, etc.
Anyone remember The Net ?

Cars get riddled with bullets from assault weapons, yet guys hiding behind them are safe.

Guy gets shot and flies backwards.

Guys fall off buildings/cranes/airplanes and they get up and continue. (Die hard gets honourable mention here)
Then they get treated with iodine, acohol, etc and they whince in pain.

Bombs have fancy digital displays.

People manage to still stay on road even though looking at passenger continously for a couple of minutes.

War movies using completly wrong equipment for armies they are potraying.

All WWII German soldiers having submachine guns even if they are guarding a chicken house in middle of nowhere.

Normal cars do massive jumps and still have suspension that works.

ScumLord

People in restaurants are surprised when the gun fight happening outside bursts through their window. Americans seem to be able to drone out gun fights happening outside whatever building their in and only take note when it enters the same room as them.

seamus

ScumLord wrote: »

Things in space blowing up with a massive fireball. Then the explosion makes noise.

Totally aside, but this is what I loved about many of the scenes in Interstellar. When the camera was outside in space there was no whooshing or whirring or big clunks of metal-on-metal, just absolute silence.

The noise only returned when the camera switched to the inside of a spacecraft.

osarusan

Two people who are native speakers of the same language (not English) often speak to each other in English when there is nobody else around.

ScumLord

seamus wrote: »

Totally aside, but this is what I loved about many of the scenes in Interstellar.

It really adds to the drama and suspense having a sense removed like that.


To add to the original one about space explosions. even on earth sound seems to travel at the same speed as light in hollywood, with the sound of distant explosions arriving at the same time as the light from the explosion.

Poor Uncle Tom

ScumLord wrote: »

To add to the original one about space explosions. even on earth sound seems to travel at the same speed as light in hollywood, with the sound of distant explosions arriving at the same time as the light from the explosion.

Would that be considered good or bad dubbing, given that the noise has to be linked to the event on screen?.....:P

D0NNELLY

people get whats coming to them in life.. good or bad.

Mister Vain

People can have sex without touching or looking at their genitals.

Bambi985

Ridiculously stunningly beautiful and immaculately groomed people (like Jennifer Aniston or JLO) working as cashiers or office clerks or cleaners or chambermaids and they can all afford to live in massive, spacey, five-star-style apartments in big cities and not struggle to pay rent.

Elemonator

That the Galactic Empire managed to conquer the galaxy using guys in obvious white armour who cannot shoot straight.

SMH.

_Kaiser_

osarusan wrote: »

Two people who are native speakers of the same language (not English) often speak to each other in English when there is nobody else around.

Actually I thought they handled that one very well in The Hunt for Red October... (up until the point below all scenes in the sub are in Russian with subtitles)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3av3sjOBua0

Now why the Captain spoke with a thick Scottish accent is another matter.. still an excellent film though

DanMurphy

Riddle101 wrote: »

A lot of things in the Michael Collins movie were a lie. For instance Eamon Broy, the informant inside G Division who passed files onto Collins, was found, tortured and killed in the movie. In real life, he died in 1972, and went on to become Commisioner of the Gardaí after the War of Independence.

And the black & white road signs only came in in the early sixties.
Before that they were a dirty yellow with black lettering.

maudgonner

Movies: Guy meets girl. They instantly take a dislike to each other and fight like cat and dog. Over the course of a few weeks/months they come to realise that they were wrong about each other, respect grows and they come to love each other deeply.

Real life: Guy meets girl. They instantly take a dislike to each other and fight like cat and dog. Over the course of a few weeks/months they confirm that he is indeed a gobshíte and she is a total headwreck. Their mutual dislike grows and they find it difficult to be in the same room together.

learn_more

Elemonator wrote: »

That the Galactic Empire managed to conquer the galaxy using guys in obvious white armour who cannot shoot straight.

SMH.

Suppose that's why it's called science-FICTION :pac:

Wibbs

Burning torches in any flic set before "modern times". Maybe used for a brief period of time back then, but they were never used in interiors and castles were most certainly not lined with them. You'd need an army of slaves and a huge hape of ready made torches to keep them lit through the night and the light from the oils they had back then would be pretty crap, never mind the soot and the smell.