The biggest lies in movies...

Mister Vain

The driver being pursued in a car chase manages to drive across train tracks seconds before a train crosses.

ToddyDoody

Going by movies, all fat people would be jolly. There's never a ' actually this is a constant problem' type.

Conall Cernach

Cowboys will enter a saloon after a long, hot and dusty ride and order a tiny shot of whisky.
They'll also frequently order a bottle of whisky which will usually not be a full one yet pay up without asking the price.
People only fart in comedies.
One naggin of vodka poured into a punch bowl will get an entire prom drunk.
Hitting the plastic surround of a steering wheel column will reveal two handy wires with which to hot-wire any car.

Right Turn Clyde

secman wrote: »

At the end of Braveheart where it states that Scotland won their freedom....... couldn't even win a referendum. ....

Braveheart is full of lies. It somehow manages to make the English look worse than they actually were, which takes some doing. The primae noctis sexual rights, for example, are a total fiction.

Mister Vain

High school students look about 30 years old and have perfect skin.

kylith

Right Turn Clyde wrote: »

Braveheart is full of lies. It somehow manages to make the English look worse than they actually were, which takes some doing. The primae noctis sexual rights, for example, are a total fiction.

The portrayal of Wallace is criminal in that film: the real William Wallace was a posh fecker.

ScumLord

All cars are equal in Hollywood land, that's how a pickup truck can keep up with a Nissan GTR.

Mister Vain

Doors are very weak and can be easily broke down with your shoulder.

Capt'n Midnight

Mister Vain wrote: »

Doors are very weak and can be easily broke down with your shoulder.

And shooting locks always works because you never get ricochets off big lumps of metal.

also

"Cut the red wire"

And a small woman can beat the crap out of a huge burly man, trade punch for punch and never lose a tooth, and walk away undefeated.

fleet_admiral

If you want to have sex with gullible middle aged divorcees, become a plumber or pizza delivery boy

Thrill

Candie wrote: »

And a small woman can beat the crap out of a huge burly man, trade punch for punch and never lose a tooth, and walk away undefeated.

If you asked her how she was able to do it she'll tell you she grew up with three or four brothers.

brandnewaward

Digital Solitude wrote: »

Please link an example of this :pac:

robocop one , however he does shoot her through the skirt instead of shoulder i remember?

AndyBoBandy

Thrill wrote: »

If you asked her how she was able to do it she'll tell you she grew up with three or four brothers.

Which is why she's also an expert mechanic and can diagnose any problem with a car engine by simply listening to how it turns over.

LadyAthame

Andybobandy wrote: »

Which is why she's also an expert mechanic and can diagnose any problem with a car engine by simply listening to how it turns over.

True that.:)

osarusan

Peopla always open the phone book on just the right page.

AndyBoBandy

osarusan wrote: »

Peopla always open the phone book on just the right page.

well, usually its 2 pages before the page they need,

and not like the reality of flipping back and forward about 73 pages to find the actual page you want, while also reciting the alphabet in your head!

gramar

osarusan wrote: »

Peopla always open the phone book on just the right page.

...and they always do it with the utmost urgency...

conorhal

Are you a shy nerd that doesn't feel like they fit in or are any good at all the things your peers seem to enjoy? Are you boarderline stalking a pretty cheerleader that doesn't seem to know you exist?

Well ignore that stupid advice from your folks to perhaps join a club or try a bit harder to make friends and be sociable. You hang in there being the special unique individual that you are because it's highly likely that you're only one industrial accident/alien encounter or spider bite away from gaining super powers and thus the respect of all who've ignored you over the years!*


*well either that or a spree killer....

B00056718

Into The Blue wrote: »

The cars in fast and furious have 47 gears.

And you can chase airborne Antonov airplane forever because the runway is 65km long.

Dravokivich

kylith wrote: »

The portrayal of Wallace is criminal in that film: the real William Wallace was a posh fecker.

He wasn't even Braveheart! :mad:

Alanhooly

That people never finish their breakfasts. Despite having a plate full of bacon, eggs etc. they always take one sip of coffee/tea and then "they gotta run".

conorhal

Alanhooly wrote: »

That people never finish their breakfasts. Despite having a plate full of bacon, eggs etc. they always take one sip of coffee/tea and then "they gotta run".

And never is the ungrateful bastard followed promptly out the door by a full plate of breakfast hurled at his head by an enraged wife who's just wasted her morning on a thoughtless prick!

ectoraige

Saralee4 wrote: »

I always wondered in films say like Braveheart where you have big battle scenes in a field, who cleans up all the bodies and things after the battle has ended? And what about the enemies who are lying there slowly dying when the battle ended? Do the put them out of their misery?

It's called a coup de grâce, "blow of mercy".

Biggest lie in movies has to be the complete and utter lack of fanny farts.

In second place is that they never need to add an extra drop of milk to their coffee.

Dravokivich

ectoraige wrote: »

It's called a coup de grâce, "blow of mercy".

Biggest lie in movies has to be the complete and utter lack of fanny farts.

In second place is that they never need to add an extra drop of milk to their coffee.

if you want milk, drink milk! :mad:

BizzyC

Every scene in the fast & furious movies...

awec

Hitting three buttons on a keyboard = open huge map, instantly move satellite, zoom and crop the image to perfection.

Dravokivich

awec wrote: »

Hitting three buttons on a keyboard = open huge map, instantly move satellite, zoom and crop the image to perfection.

Must of been using Auto Hot Key.

BizzyC

Also, zooming in on security video footage.....

http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/4124/zoomcsiinvestigation.jpg

kunst nugget

Dravokivich wrote: »

He wasn't even Braveheart! :mad:

You can take our lives but you can never take our freedom (to take liberties with the source material and basically make sh¡t up).

dubstarr

In horror films they always go down to the basement or run up to the attic.Why not just run out teh halldoor.

The Corinthian

The happily ever after ending in 99.9% of Romcoms.

DavidRamsay99

When the cops get a call from the psycho sniper holding the city hostage they try to keep him on the line but he hangs up just before they can trace his call or else they do trace the call and arrive at the address missing the bad guy by seconds. The police chief always launches into a stream of profanity while the hero always can pick out the bad guy because he is wearing a cap down over his face as he is slowly walking away. They lock eyes and there is always a slow motion pause before the hero shouts "IT'S HIM!"
There is a shoot out and car chase and the bad guy gets away.
The rookie always gets a bullet in the chest and dies in the hero's arms while he shouts "DON'T DIE ON ME!"
The chief always puts his hand on the hero's shoulder and says "He's gone. He's gone."

major bill

Every Teenager goes to college or their life is over for not going just once I'd like to see a film where someone finishes school and becomes a Bricky out of choice.

Mal-Adjusted

DavidRamsay99 wrote: »

When the cops get a call from the psycho sniper holding the city hostage they try to keep him on the line but he hangs up just before they can trace his call

How does the bad guy always know when to hang up, just before they can get a trace. Also, in real life there isn't a visual grid that gets smaller and smaller as time goes on so that when he does hang up, the police have a vague idea of where he is. A trace either gets everything or nothing, none of this in-between bull$h!t

Mister Vain

Candie wrote: »

And a small woman can beat the crap out of a huge burly man, trade punch for punch and never lose a tooth, and walk away undefeated.

Have you been watching Charlies Angels again?

Capt'n Midnight

B00056718 wrote: »

And you can chase airborne Antonov airplane forever because the runway is 65km long.

A lightly loaded Antanov 124 can operate off 1,200 meter runways. That's about 17 plane lengths.

syklops

major bill wrote: »

Every Teenager goes to college or their life is over for not going just once I'd like to see a film where someone finishes school and becomes a Bricky out of choice.

Good Will Hunting?

riclad

i,d like to see a movie where someone goes to college and gets an arts degree,
so ends up working in a chip shop ,
Because most arts degree,s are not useful in the real world unless you want
to be a teacher or an artist.
I notice now only the bad guy smokes in hollywood films .
The main character in a movie rarely smokes unless its set in the 60,s or 70,s 80s.
Theres always a tech expert in csi or action films etc who can zoom in on photos, to find
a car reg no or some other detail,which leads to the murderer
in real life you zoom in to a picture you,ll just get less detail.
it just gets more blurry .
Theres a new tv show csi cyber,
from reading reviews alot of the tech info ,methods they use, are not realistic in regard to hacking into a pc etc.
The average tv scriptwriter does,nt know how pc,s or operating systems work.

aaronjumper

Two people meet and really don't get on at all, keep sniping at each other and insulting one another until they start kissing.
Oh look it was just sexual tension all along. :rolleyes:

riclad

riclad wrote: »

I notice now only the bad guy smokes in hollywood films .
The main character in a movie rarely smokes unless its set in the 60,s or 70,s 80s.

Up until the 60s, only the good guys smoked, tobacco promotion was very different them!

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

In Pearl Harbour, nobody smokes, despite it being 1941.

B.A._Baracus

obriendj wrote: »

B.A. Baracus gets punched multiple times but has no effect on him until he is about to get on a plane -
do they think we are FOOL(s)

You're in for it now sucker.

Collie D

Police departments do psychological profiles on all of their cops to ensure they partner up two completely different individuals who can't stand one another

seamus

aaronjumper wrote: »

Two people meet and really don't get on at all, keep sniping at each other and insulting one another until they start kissing.
Oh look it was just sexual tension all along. :rolleyes:

I think this can be summed up as - if any man and woman spend a few hours in eachother's company they're guaranteed to fall in love, even if both of them are already married.

Killinator

seamus wrote: »

I think this can be summed up as - if any man and woman spend a few hours in eachother's company they're guaranteed to fall in love, even if both of them are already married.

It's ok if they're married though, because, invariably they've made the mistake of marrying some (obviously to everyone everyone else) horrible/deceitful/cheating person who we are just waiting to get his just deserts before our to hero's can be together!

It gets a little bit more complicated, but no less predictable, if our heroes were married, but hated each other enough to get divorced/separated only to realise that they truly were right for each other all along, of course only realising this as one of them is about to marry 'the jerk' who gets what he 'deserves' or the nice guy/girl who knew deep down that our hero never really, truly loved them so accept the situation and perhaps gets together with the 'cheeky' sidekick.

Stick a cover on with our to heroes leaning against each other and BAM!

ScumLord

The mouse hasn't been invented. Everything is done via keyboard shortcuts and lots of typing.

Hackers are always hot chicks.

lillian770

Collie D wrote: »

Police departments do psychological profiles on all of their cops to ensure they partner up two completely different individuals who can't stand one another

Hilarious !!!

syklops

Duffy the Vampire Slayer wrote: »

In Pearl Harbour, nobody smokes, despite it being 1941.

Nice spot re: Pearl Harbour.

I was watching Crimson Tide last night and Gene Hackman makes a big thing of his "Last breath of polluted air for the next six weeks", and then continues to smoke his cigar all the way through the movie, meanwhile Viggo Mortensen chain smokes cigarettes all through the movie as well.

charlietheminxx

Cormac... wrote: »

I want to see the types of films you guys could team up to make.... fascinating viewing :pac:

*Say it in you Honest Trailers voice*

This Summer....
Phones will ring out, jocks will be folded.....
Teeth will be throughly cleaned...
And most of all.....
It's time.....
For the Bills....
To...
BE...
PAID

I haven't finished the thread yet but this actually just made me snort on a train, was shaking with laughter trying to hold it in.