New proclamation - what should be in it?

Kermit.de.frog · 31-03-2015 2:58pm #1

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/taoiseach-reveals-government-to-draft-new-proclamation-for-1916-commemorations-31108094.html

The leader Enda is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

Not before time in my opinion. We can get rid of the old communist and pie in the sky guff in the old one.

So what should be in it?

jimgoose · 31-03-2015 3:01pm

Dem deutschen Volke.

donvito99 · 31-03-2015 3:02pm

Article 1.

-- To clarify, water is not free. --

Kermit.de.frog · 31-03-2015 3:04pm

donvito99 wrote: »

Article 1.

-- To clarify, water is not free. --

--To (further) clarify, water collected in a bucket is free (except the bucket), having it cleaned, treated and piped to your house is not. --

MonkeyTennis · 31-03-2015 3:05pm

That we would walk five hundred miles
And we would walk five hundred more
Just to be the people who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

conorhal · 31-03-2015 3:07pm

Jesus, how fecking cluless are these eejits. First they launch their 1916 comemerations with a video that mentions apple and microsoft but not a mention of a single signatory of the proclamation, now they want to turn the proclaimation into a FG election stunt?
I suggest instead that each TD irrespective of party should have to stand outside the bloody GPO over easter and read it out a thousand times so that they might reflect best on how utterly they managed to fail to live up to it's ideals.

artanevilla · 31-03-2015 3:07pm

And who are we proclaiming independence from this time? The EU?

FISMA · 31-03-2015 3:07pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

The leader Enda is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

So what should be in it?

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Skylinehead · 31-03-2015 3:18pm

FISMA wrote: »

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Doesn't seem to have been necessary for us over the last hundred years, so no. Next.

Akrasia · 31-03-2015 3:26pm

We should proclaim our independence from the RC church and remove all references to the 'special relationship' from our constitution

The Catholic church did more harm to Ireland than the British ever did.

walkingshadow · 31-03-2015 3:29pm

No fat chicks.

whisky_galore · 31-03-2015 3:31pm

jimgoose wrote: »

Dem deutschen Volke.

Our 'gallant allies in Europe'

Son Of A Vidic · 31-03-2015 3:34pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

The leader Enda Angela is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

Fixed the obvious typo there.

sabat · 31-03-2015 3:35pm

Have any of the bright sparks in the administration checked on the legality of this? Could the army round up all Fine Gael and Labour TDs and put them before a firing squad?

iDave · 31-03-2015 3:40pm

arbeit macht frei

One eyed Jack · 31-03-2015 3:41pm

Seems to be the way modern society is going -

Don't aim for anything greater, just set the bar lower.

They couldn't live up to what was set down in the 1916 Proclamation, so they decide to re-write it and lower their standards this time round. It's broken, so fix it, rather than rewrite the manual and tell people that a broken country is supposed to work that way.

Larbre34 · 31-03-2015 3:45pm

The sheer arrogance of the man. Neither he nor his flunkies have the right to lick the mud off the boots of the publishers of the original proclamation. We don't need a new one, the old one hasnt yet been fullfilled.

Someone please tell him to stop meddling and keep his greasy election focussed paws out of a solemn non-partisan event.

DarkyHughes · 31-03-2015 3:46pm

So we'll have a 1803 proclamation, a 1916 proclamation, a 1919 declaration of Independence, a 1949 proclamation & 2016 proclamation. We really love proclaiming & declaring things.

And FG hate anything Republican anyway.

DarkyHughes · 31-03-2015 3:51pm

Akrasia wrote: »

We should proclaim our independence from the RC church and remove all references to the 'special relationship' from our constitution

The Catholic church did more harm to Ireland than the British ever did.

It's about 60/40 against the British. The Protestant church's did a lot of ham as well.

The Backwards Man · 31-03-2015 3:55pm

He might as well put the plot synopses of Fair City and Neighbours in it for all I care.

_Puma_ · 31-03-2015 4:00pm

Did Enda Jump the gun on the Governments april fools?

NomadicGray · 31-03-2015 4:00pm

Abortions for all

Albertofrog · 31-03-2015 4:01pm

We pledge to release the Fennelly report as soon as possible.

DarkyHughes · 31-03-2015 4:11pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/taoiseach-reveals-government-to-draft-new-proclamation-for-1916-commemorations-31108094.html

The leader Enda is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

Not before time in my opinion. We can get rid of the old communist and pie in the sky guff in the old one.

So what should be in it?

Glad you asked.

Irishmen and Irishwomen. In the name of socialism everywhere, Ireland, through us, summons her children to her flag which is the Starry Plough and strikes for her freedom!
Having trained her manhood through her secret revolutionary armies, the Irish Volunteer Force and the Irish Citizen Front, having patiently perfected her discipline, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that moment, and, supported by her comrades in communist circles worldwide, but relying first on her own socialist strength, strikes now in full confidence of victory.
We declare the right of the people of Ireland to the ownership of the means of production, and to the unfettered control of destinies in the hands of Irish labour. The long usurpation of that right by Irish and foreign capitalists has not extinguished that right, nor can it ever be extinguished, save for the destruction of the Irish proletariat . In every generation, the Irish people have asserted this right by political or revolutionary means, only to have it frustrated by counter-revolutionaries. Standing on that fundamental right, and asserting it in revolution in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the Irish Republic as a soviet socialist state, and we pledge our lives and the lives of our comrades-in-arms to the cause of its freedom (and the Kremlin), to its welfare, and its exaltation among the nations.
The Irish Soviet Socialist Republic is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every worker within its territory. The reserves of the Republic have been seized and kept in trust for the people. Vital means of production have been seized, and workers councils shall be formed alongside them.
Until our arms or workers have brought the opportune moment for the establishment of communist government in office, the Provisional Republican Government, hereby constituted, will administer the civil and military affairs of the Republic in trust for the people.
Signed on behalf of the Provisional Republican Government,
Brian Boru's spirit
Enda Kenny
Mary Lou
Ming
Katie Taylor
The Balcome Street Four
and eh some other bloke

falan · 31-03-2015 4:19pm

donvito99 wrote: »

Article 1.

-- To clarify, water is not free. --

Who said water is free? It never was and never will be free.

whisky_galore · 31-03-2015 4:21pm

FISMA wrote: »

A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

That's worked so well for the united statesians in the 21st century....

iDave · 31-03-2015 4:24pm

NomadicGray wrote: »

Abortions for all

Boooooo

DarkyHughes · 31-03-2015 4:25pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

That's worked so well for the united statesians in the 21st century....

Sarah Palin seems to think so. Although she doesn't know the name of a newspaper & thinks that you can see Russia from Alaska so ya know 50/50.

Skylinehead · 31-03-2015 4:26pm

iDave wrote: »

Boooooo

Abortions for none?

iDave · 31-03-2015 4:26pm

Skylinehead wrote: »

Abortions for none?

Booooo

Skylinehead · 31-03-2015 4:29pm

iDave wrote: »

Booooo

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

iDave · 31-03-2015 4:30pm

Skylinehead wrote: »

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!

Yay!

Crooked Jack · 31-03-2015 4:30pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/taoiseach-reveals-government-to-draft-new-proclamation-for-1916-commemorations-31108094.html

The leader Enda is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

Not before time in my opinion. We can get rid of the old communist and pie in the sky guff in the old one.

So what should be in it?

Yes, why have anything aspirational in it.

Irishmen and Irishwomen,

Shut up. Everything's grand.

Signed
Inda

elefant · 31-03-2015 4:32pm

iDave wrote: »

Boooooo

iDave wrote: »

Booooo

Are you saying Boo? Or Boo-urns?

uch · 31-03-2015 4:34pm

New proclamation - what should be in it?

Your Friday night one & one from Burdocks

Skylinehead · 31-03-2015 4:34pm

iDave wrote: »

Yay!

http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3dkeeUfTH1qc073co1_400.gif

iDave · 31-03-2015 4:34pm

elefant wrote: »

Are you saying Boo? Or Boo-urns?

Boooooooooooooooo

*Throws missiles*

5starpool · 31-03-2015 4:36pm

DarkyHughes wrote: »

It's about 60/40 against the British. The Protestant church's did a lot of ham as well.

That'd be a great marketing tool for them.

I'd convert from "Technically catholic but don't believe in God" to "Technically Protestant but don't believe in God" for plenty of ham and other pig related products.

Crooked Jack · 31-03-2015 4:37pm

NomadicGray wrote: »

Abortions for all

iDave wrote: »

Boooooo

Skylinehead wrote: »

Abortions for none?

iDave wrote: »

Booooo

Compromise. Have the baby and then fling it off a bridge. Everyone's happy.

Mike Guide 69 · 31-03-2015 4:48pm

A reading from the gospel of St Enda for the Proclamation 2016

"Troika, Troika everywhere, not a Euro to spend"

expectationlost · 31-03-2015 4:49pm

it some school writing competition http://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/heather-humphreys-1916-commemorations-belong-to-all-1.2159082 relax will yeah

DarkyHughes · 31-03-2015 5:02pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/politics/taoiseach-reveals-government-to-draft-new-proclamation-for-1916-commemorations-31108094.html

The leader Enda is to have the government draft a new proclamation for 2016.

Not before time in my opinion. We can get rid of the old communist and pie in the sky guff in the old one.

So what should be in it?

Is that a joke or are you really that clueless? If it's the former the "communism" you are thinking of (Marxism-Leninism) wasn't even a theory never mind have been put into practice.

diomed · 31-03-2015 5:17pm

I hope he mentions Rockall in it. I think they forgot that the first time.
And point out that we own all the fish.

Guy:Incognito · 31-03-2015 5:21pm

NomadicGray wrote: »

Abortions for all

and what of miniature flags?

EDIT. Curses, too slow.

Guy:Incognito · 31-03-2015 5:23pm

elefant wrote: »

Are you saying Boo? Or Boo-urns?

I was saying Booooooourns.

feargale · 31-03-2015 5:30pm

Remove the silly preamble from the Constitution. That kind of pietism has no place in a statement of law. It has in the past presented problems of ambiguity to those charged with interpreting the Constitution.

stmol32 · 31-03-2015 5:32pm

Kermit.de.frog wrote: »

Not before time in my opinion. We can get rid of the old communist and pie in the sky guff in the old one.

Just curious, which bits of the original don't you like?

Nodin · 31-03-2015 5:33pm

Akrasia wrote: »

We should proclaim our independence from the RC church and remove all references to the 'special relationship' from our constitution
..................

This was done by referendum in the 1970's.

sid waddell · 31-03-2015 5:43pm

The draft text of the new 2016 Proclamation has been announced.

EACNAMAÍOCHT NA hÉIREANN
THE PROVISIONAL GOVERNMENT
OF IRELAND INC.™

TO THE PEOPLE OF IRELAND INC.™

IRISHMEN AND IRISHWOMEN: In the name of the God of Money and of the multi-national corporations which she serves, and of the dead banks through which she receives her old tradition of cronyism, Ireland Inc.™, through us, summons her children to her brand and renounces her freedom.

Having organised and trained her worker bees through her corporate media, under the command of Denis O'Brien, and pro-business organisations, the Irish Business Employers' Confederation and the Irish Banking Federation, having patiently perfected her discipline, having resolutely waited for the right moment to reveal itself, she now seizes that moment, buoyed by the absence of her exiled children in America, Australia, Britain and elsewhere, and supported by gallant allies in the EU, but relying in the first on her own weakness, she strikes in full confidence of victory.

We declare the right of secondary bondholders, of the wider financial industry, of the government of Germany, and of US multi-national corporations to the ownership of Ireland Inc.™ and to the unfettered control of Irish destinies, to be sovereign and indefeasible. The long usurpation of that right by a native people, but not governments, has not extinguished the right, nor can it ever be extinguished except by the destruction of the Ireland Inc.™ In every generation the Irish people have asserted their right to national freedom and sovereignty; eight times during the past four hundred years they have asserted it in arms. Standing on that fundamental right and usurping it via economic forecasts by discredited economists in the face of the world, we hereby proclaim the Ireland Inc.™ as a Vassal State, and we pledge our lives and the lives of our cronies in banks to the cause of its occupation, of the destruction of what little is left of its social welfare, and of its exaltation among free market economies.

Ireland Inc.™ is entitled to, and hereby claims, the allegiance of every Irishman and Irishwoman. Ireland Inc.™ guarantees a clampdown on civil liberty, the right of all its young people to work for minimum wage or preferably for free, equal rights and equal opportunities to all its banks, and declares its resolve to pursue the happiness and prosperity of the whole of the business community and of all its parts, cherishing all of the children of its crony friends equally, and oblivious of the flimsy rules carefully written by a compliant Financial Regulator, which has deliberately and effectively alienated the majority from the minority in the past.

Until our links to business have been strengthened sufficiently for the opportune moment for the establishment of a permanent Occupational Government, representative of the whole of the financial industry and wider business community and elected by nobody, the Provisional Government, hereby constituted, will administer the civil and military affairs of Ireland Inc.™ in trust for business.

We place the cause of Ireland Inc.™ under the protection of the Most High God of Money, whose blessing we invoke upon our suits, and we pray that no one who serves that cause will dishonour it by bravery, humanity, or protest. In this supreme hour Ireland Inc.™, by its valour and discipline, and by the readiness of its children to sacrifice themselves for the good of business, prove itself worthy of the august destiny to which it is called.

Signed on behalf of the Provisional Government:

ENDA KENNY
MICHAEL NOONAN JOAN BURTON
A.D. MERKEL EAMONN GILMORE
PHILIP HOGAN LORD BRUTON OF BOYNESIDE

curioser · 31-03-2015 5:59pm

Variations on the following -

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

The problem in the world today is communication. Too much communication.

You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.

Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

You don't win friends with salad.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.

Trying is the first step towards failure.

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, "Cover for me." Number two, "Oh, good idea, boss." Number three, "It was like that when I got here.

you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.

Honestly, when will everybody ever learn that whatever you want to provide for is covered in The Simpsons?

Nodin · 31-03-2015 6:03pm

Just a query - do the signatories of this one get taken out and shot?

New proclamation - what should be in it?

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