Funny chants

Left Back on the Bench

Ooooohhh Balotelli,
He's a striker, he's good at darts
Driving round the mossside with a wallet full of cash
Allergy to grass but when he plays he's fcuking class
Ooooohhh Balotelli

ricero

The elephant man,
The elephant man.
Joleon lescott,
The elephant man.

LFC fans to lescott. They also sang it recently to Diego Costa

GavRedKing

I find this quiet funny, Derby fans singing about Stan Collymore.

Collymores a w*nker,
he wears a w*nkers hat,
he was a Forest b*stard, and then a Leicester tw*t,
he went out with Urika, and beat her like an egg,
and when he came to Derby he broke his f*cking leg.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1UzUfcJu_o

Intifada

dan1895 wrote: »

Sang by Bury fans to former player Lellan John Lewis.

His name is a shop
His name is a shop
Lellan John Lewis
His name is a shop.

Can we ban these Sloop Jon B chants from this thread

The Backwards Man

He's got a pineapple on his head

Buford T. Justice XIX

The Backwards Man wrote: »

He's got a pineapple on his head

Jason Lee...

Schwiiing

He's fat
He's round
His arse is on the ground
Barry Fry
Bar-ry Fry

UTD fans to Ji Sung Park:

Park Park Wherever you may be
You eat dogs in your home country
It could be worse
You could be Scouse
Eating rats in your council house

Viva John Terry
Viva John Terry
Coulda won the cup But he ****ed it up / Lying on the pitch Crying like a bitch
Viva John Terry

Talib Fiasco

He's fat,
He's round,
He rolls along the ground,
Wayne Rooney…

He's fat,
He’s scouse,
He’s gonna rob your house,
Wayne Rooney…

He's near,
He’s far,
He’s gonna rob your car,
Wayne Rooney…

He's fat,
He’s red,
He’ll take your gran to bed,
Wayne Rooney…

That_Guy

This is in spectacularly bad taste but I'll admit to laughing... Newcastle fans singing about Adam Johnson... You can only imagine what the subject line is...

https://twitter.com/footyramblings/status/584691189930164224/video/1

Dozen Wicked Words

He swing's with his left,
He hooks with this ri iiii i ght,
That Darren Ferguson,
Beat's up his wife.


Or (to daydream believer)

Cheer up Barry Fry,
Oh what can it mean
to a,Fat Boro Ba*tard
And sh*t football team.

Or ( in form of one man went to mow) about Akinfenwa.

One man couldn't carry,couldn't carry Bayo, one man and his fork lift truck, couldn't carry Bayo. Two men (etc etc)

Fuhrer

This was rather odd and amusing.

blueser

Sure I heard somewhere that Brentford fans were sing "Bees up, Fulham down" (to the tune of "Knees up Mother Brown") at Craven Cottage on friday night.

Hulk Hands

anncoates wrote: »

Shamrock Rovers at Irish Spurs fans in Tallaght (Europa league)


Does your telly ..
Does your telly..
Does your telly know you're here?


What's it's like to..
What's it's like to..
What's it's like to see a game?

And yet sung in that horrible generic 3 line tune that is sung by every English football fan repeatedly. Probably sung in an English accent too

dreamers75

Des Byrne

Years Team Apps† (Gls)†
1998–1999 Stockport County 1 (0)
1999–2000 St Patrick's Athletic 30 (1)
2000–2002 Wimbledon 1 (0)
2001 → Cambridge United (loan) 4 (0)
2002–2004 Carlisle United 21 (0)
2003–2004 St Patrick's Athletic 18 (0)
2004–2007 Bohemians 62 (1)
2008–2009 St Patrick's Athletic 22 (0)


to the tune of Karma Chamleon

"he comes and goes, he comes and goes, dessie dessie dessie byrne he comes and goes he comes and goes"

Always a winner for me

Left Back on the Bench

Watching finn harps and someone else 1 night

"Felix Healy
He's a wanker, he's a wanker
Felix Healy
He's a wanker, he's a wanker"

Super-Rush

To the tune of 3 Lions.

'Gascoigne beats his wife, he beats his wife, he beats his wife'

Liverpool fans last season.

' Now you're gonna believe it, now your gonna believe it, now your gonna believe it, we're gonna win the league'

Nalz

wooooah, its halftime here

oooooh oohh bring on aliadiere


Boro fans a good few seasons back when they were losing halftime

fermanagh_man

When leeds were deduced 15 points a few years ago I remember being at the game when we brought it from minus 15 to zero

"Fifteen points who gives a F**K, we're super leeds and we're going up"

http://youtu.be/0gZnEavyPU0

CSF

Standard has dropped sharply here!!!

MightyMandarin

West Ham fans singing to Jonjo Shelvey

"he's coming for you, He's coming for youuuuu, Harry Potter, He's coming for you"

efb

Don't get how domestic abuse is funny myself..

LiamoSail

Celtic fans to Rangers fans a few months before Rangers went into liquidation in the summer of 2012. The "Rangers till I die" chant became "Rangers till July"

Charlie19

There was few chants knocking about with alternative lyrics to this, but this one has stuck with me.

Diego oh oh oh
Diego oh oh oh
he comes from uraguay
he made the scousers cry

Fr Tod Umptious

CSF wrote: »

Standard has dropped sharply here!!!

Well as I mentioned earlier a lot of chants do not convey their quality or otherwise when read compared to when heard.

But I am also beginning to think a lot of them fall into a type of "you had to be there" or you have to be a big fan of the club involved type category.

fearrua

My Dad told me about how when West Ham were being slaughtered by Man City last season (he's a Hammers fan), the City fans were singing 'Can we play you every week?', to which they responded, 'You're nothing special, we lose every week!' Though it was brilliant when I heard it...

To Elland Back

Am I missing something here, serious question?

To Elland Back

To Elland Back wrote: »

Am I missing something here, serious question?

Who chanted that? Wouldn't exactly fall into the funny category

Fr Tod Umptious

rarnes1 wrote: »

Who chanted that? Wouldn't exactly fall into the funny category

Fits fine here then.

Fr Tod Umptious

Fr Tod Umptious wrote: »

Fits fine here then.

Ah come on some of them are funny.

anncoates

Hulk Hands wrote: »

And yet sung in that horrible generic 3 line tune that is sung by every English football fan repeatedly. Probably sung in an English accent too

Spurs 4 lyfe?

Hulk Hands

anncoates wrote: »

Spurs 4 lyfe?

Nah, dont like Spurs atal. Millions of different tunes to use, yet they use the one that most reminds people of fans of English Soccer teams. While giving out about people supporting English Soccer teams. :pac:

pavb2

Fr Tod Umptious wrote: »

But I am also beginning to think a lot of them fall into a type of "you had to be there" or you have to be a big fan of the club involved type category.

This probably falls into this category and I would think happens quite often

Hull vs Villa, Villa two goals down playing poorly with no chance of turning the game round. Hull fans start pointing at Paul Lambert singing the usual 'Sacked in the morning. You're getting sacked in the morning.'

Cue the Villa fans who also start pointing at Paul Lambert singing 'Sacked in the morning. You're getting sacked in the morning.' The whole ground was rocking.

anncoates

Hulk Hands wrote: »

Nah, dont like Spurs atal. Millions of different tunes to use, yet they use the one that most reminds people of fans of English Soccer teams. While giving out about people supporting English Soccer teams. :pac:

I've been going to domestic games for many years and have never heard this widespread chanting in authentic English accents. What are you basing this observation on? Do you go to games and hear this?

Tigerbaby

was at Leeds V Blackburn this Sat... with the Blackburn fans.

Jimmy Saville

Hes one of your own..

Jimmy Saville

Hes one of your own.

loved it.

CSF

anncoates wrote: »

I've been going to domestic games for many years and have never heard this widespread chanting in authentic English accents. What are you basing this observation on? Do you go to games and hear this?

Yeah, not once have I heard it either.

Al Capwned

I'm anything but a fan of QPR, but this is good tbf.

Tigerbaby

Tigerbaby wrote: »

was at Leeds V Blackburn this Sat... with the Blackburn fans.

Jimmy Saville

Hes one of your own..

Jimmy Saville

Hes one of your own.

loved it.

They would have been delighted. Leeds fans often sing

Jimmy Saville, sh*gs who he wants.

It's not funny. But it is part of that "no one likes us we don't care".

Skylinehead

Nani are you ok? Nani are you ok? Are you ok Nani? You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth Carragher!

fermanagh_man

Always like the Rafa Benitez chant

"Your just a fat Spanish waiter"

Kirby

Skylinehead wrote: »

Nani are you ok? Nani are you ok? Are you ok Nani? You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth Carragher!

Sounds good but its the sort of chant that's on an internet forum, and never at a real game.

theoneeyedman

Always liked the one by Newcastle /Cardiff fans, to the tune of the Automatics song:

"Who's that coming over the hill,

It's Michael Chopra,
Michael Chopra! "

BeepBeep67

Post newspaper rumors of Cantona having an affair with Chapman's Mrs 'he's French, he's flash, he's shagging Leslie Ash, Cantona, Cantona'

Flincher

Maxi Rodriguez chant to the tune of Heartbeat

Knex*

As far away from Political Correctness as you can get, but the first time I heard Newcastle fans sing this at Sunderland, I nearly lost it with laughter.

"Kenwyne Jones sells watches on the beach, watches on the beach, watches on the beach"

Steve Bruce has got a big fat head, is another Christmas Classic.

CSF

theoneeyedman wrote: »

Always liked the one by Newcastle /Cardiff fans, to the tune of the Automatics song:

"Who's that coming over the hill,

It's Michael Chopra,
Michael Chopra! "

Is there something I'm missing on this one?

ShooterSF

fermanagh_man wrote: »

Always like the Rafa Benitez chant

"Your just a fat Spanish waiter"

Meh. Much prefer ones with a bit of creativity. My favourite these days is the one,

Oh oh it'd Carrick you know,
Hard to believe it's not Scholes.

Thought that was pretty clever.

Pierce_1991

When the stadium announcer at The Emirates informed the Stoke fans their trains had been cancelled:

"3-0, and you can't go home 3-0, and you can't go home!"

chopperbyrne

daithijjj wrote: »

An homage from newcastle fans to habib beye from his time there to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody (yea, not iconic but this would be a very short thread if we didnt have a bit of fun with it too imo).


"Is this Habib Beye?
Or is this just fantasy?
Caught in a poor team,
No escape to a victory,
Open your eyes,
Sack Dennis Wise and see
Were just a poor team, Beye needs some quality,
Because he’s left footed, right footed,
With a pen, with his head,
Any way the Beye scores, doesn’t really matter to me,
To me.

Habib, just skinned a man,
Put the ball between his legs,
Ran round him left him for dead.
Habibs game has just begun,
But Cacapa’s gone and thrown it all away.

Habib!!! Oooohh!!!
Didn’t mean to make us lose,
If he’s at the back again this time the next game,
Just carry on, carry on, cos we all love you Habib.

Habib, your time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Cos I’m sure you’ll be just fine.
Goodbye, Steven Carr, you’ve got to go,
Gotta leave you far behind where you belong.

Habib!!! Oooohh!!! (anywhere the ball goes)
I’m not gunna lie,
I sometimes wish that you had been bought before.

I see a little overweight Irish man,
Steven Carr, Steven Carr will you lose a few pounds now.
Oba’s quick as lightning, very very frightening me.
Habib Beyo, Habib Beyo,
Habib Beyo, Habib Beyo
Habib Beyo finisho-magnifico000ooooo.

But we’re just a poor team, nobody buys us,
He’s just a right-back from a poor country,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

Ashley in, the window, please don’t let him go,
Like Milner, nooooo, we will not let him go – let him go
Like Milner, we will not let him go – let him gooooo
Like Milner, we will not let him go – let him gooooo
We will not let him go – let him go
We will not let him go – let him go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Habib Beya, Habib Beya, Habib Beya, please don’t go
Sam Allardyce, bought a player for the captaincy, for me, for me.

So you think you can skin him and whip in a cross,
I don’t think you will beat him ‘cos he is the boss.
Oooohh Beye!!! Can’t do this to Beye!!!
He’ll knock you out, he’ll knock you right out of here.

Habib really matters,
Everyone can see,
Habib really matters, Habib really matters,
Tooooo meeeeeee........

From one of the previous song threads.

Intifada

I wonder do people know that most of the chants they're posting are just nicked off other clubs with the player/club name swapped in. Something English clubs are awful for I've found.

Knex*

Intifada wrote: »

I wonder do people know that most of the chants they're posting are just nicked off other clubs with the player/club name swapped in. Something English clubs are awful for I've found.

And if you look really closely, you'll notice that those chants are just reworded songs.

Outrageous, Ted.