Help! - Toddler Refusing to wear cycle helmet

Cartman78

Wasn’t sure to put this in the Parenting forum or the Cycling forum but decided to go to the experts first :cool:

Basically, bought a new bike there a few weeks ago and got a toddler seat installed on the back for the young fellah (he'll be 3 in October). He came with me to the shop and was all excited when we picked up the bike and all the other bits and bobs.

Went out about 4-5 times after that and had greatcraic – we live in a rural area so lots of stopping to look at cows, tractors etc.

Anyway, had to take a break from it due to a combo of crappy weather and a gastro bug and when we went to go last weekend he refused point blank to put on his helmet saying it was “too tight” (it isn’t – if anything it’s a wee bit too big for him).

Tried a few obvious tactics, like “look at Daddy, he’s wearing his helmet”, “right…we can’t go if you don’t put on your helmet” but no joy at all and now anytime I mention the bike or cycling, he says “Noooo….too tight”.

I’m guessing it’s another one of those weird toddler mood swings that’ll probably eventually and inexplicably disappear, but was wondering if there was anything else I could do to get him back in the saddle as it were?

Cheers cm

Lumen

I gave up. The seat back interferes with the helmet and is annoying. Helmet use resumed when the kids got their own bikes.

endacl

Toddlers are absolutely concrete thinkers. If he decides it's too tight, then it's too tight. 'Tight' of course may mean yellow, light, itchy, smelly, or any number of things. He's also at an age when he's realising his own little sense of agency in the world, more commonly known as the 'terrible twos'. Perhaps he and daddy could 'fix' the helmet. Make it a little project, whereby you and he identify where he (imagines) it's two tight. Daddy can help him 'adjust' it. You can't fight against 'no'. Try to work with it! Maybe daddy's helme is too tight as well?

Bloggsie

Cartman78 wrote: »

Wasn’t sure to put this in the Parenting forum or the Cycling forum but decided to go to the experts first :cool:

Basically, bought a new bike there a few weeks ago and got a toddler seat installed on the back for the young fellah (he'll be 3 in October). He came with me to the shop and was all excited when we picked up the bike and all the other bits and bobs.

Went out about 4-5 times after that and had greatcraic – we live in a rural area so lots of stopping to look at cows, tractors etc.

Anyway, had to take a break from it due to a combo of crappy weather and a gastro bug and when we went to go last weekend he refused point blank to put on his helmet saying it was “too tight” (it isn’t – if anything it’s a wee bit too big for him).

Tried a few obvious tactics, like “look at Daddy, he’s wearing his helmet”, “right…we can’t go if you don’t put on your helmet” but no joy at all and now anytime I mention the bike or cycling, he says “Noooo….too tight”.

I’m guessing it’s another one of those weird toddler mood swings that’ll probably eventually and inexplicably disappear, but was wondering if there was anything else I could do to get him back in the saddle as it were?

Cheers cm

you could try the " i'll get you a surpirise* if you wear it" trick

* a small toy rather than sweets, if he is anything like my wee fella, he will love to get thomas the tank trains etc!

or the Police man will give out to you & me for not wearing one or let him put stickers all over his helmet, or just do what Lumen says!

07Lapierre

Want about telling him "no helmet, no spin on daddy's bike EVER!"? You are the boss after all.*






* take this advise at your own peril as I know feck all about parenting!

Chemical Byrne

Bloggsie wrote: »

you could try the " i'll get you a surpirise* if you wear it" trick

* a small toy rather than sweets, if he is anything like my wee fella, he will love to get thomas the tank trains etc!

or the Police man will give out to you & me for not wearing one or let him put stickers all over his helmet, or just do what Lumen says!

I'm not a parent but I don't think that is such a great idea. basically the message received would be: if there's something someone requries of you, protest protest protest until you are sufficiently bribed to do it.

Cartman78

Cheers for the replies so far.....I don't think the seat is the problem really and the missus will not sanction a helmet-less cycle.

Have tried the nuclear option already ("Right, thats it...we're not going") but didn't have much affect as he just pootled off doing something else not a bother :mad:

I might try some advanced bribery combined with the "fixing" option...

Lumen

Cartman78 wrote: »

the missus will not sanction a helmet-less cycle

Get her to manage the negotiations then!

I think my position was "if a car drives into us he's going to die anyway". :pac:

07Lapierre

Maybe he's tired of the journey? Maybe the destination is more important? Example... Cycling to the shop or to grannies house would be just the incentive he needs?

Maybe the "novelty factor" has worn off?

Matt Bianco

Always found them getting into the straps the hardest part so well done on getting as far as you did!

I find letting them think that they have the choice works best - was lucky enough to have a couple of spare helmets knocking around from older kids and a couple I picked up when buying a second hand bike so gave him the choice and that was the end of the protestations. Having said that, with high side walls on child seat, it's very unlikely that a head injury would occur so not a deal breaker imo

Lumen

tomasrojo

Lumen wrote: »

Get her to manage the negotiations then!

Throwing responsibilities over a fence always has a certain charm (the negotiations, I mean, not the children).

Fian

07Lapierre wrote: »

Maybe he's tired of the journey? Maybe the destination is more important? Example... Cycling to the shop or to grannies house would be just the incentive he needs?

Maybe the "novelty factor" has worn off?

"We are going to the shop to buy sweets! yipee!!

Let's go [toddler] are you ready?

Great put on the helmet and we will cycle there.

Oh no, if the helmet is too tight I guess we can't go then."

Repeat daily until problem subsists.

Edit: Wow, triple ninja, never happened to me before.

ht9zni1gs28crp

If the chin strap buckle has ever pinched as it has a tendency to do so then they are very aware of this pain! It took my daughter ages to get over this fear once it had pinched.

aFlabbyPanda

I had a similar problem with my lad but it was his own bike/helmet. He claimed it was too tight aswel so I simply took the helmet away, stuck a few stickers on it, wrapped it in paper and gave it back to him as a new one (surprise present). He was delighted and the problem was sorted.

Taltos

No helmet = no cycle.
If he wants to pootle off elsewhere and have fun cool. Hopefully once he sees you having fun on the bike he'll reconsider but choose your battles - if you make it a huge issue it'll always be a huge issue and something to dig his heels in about. If he realises he's missing out and its his choice...

Kav0777

Bloggsie wrote: »

you could try the " i'll get you a surpirise* if you wear it" trick

* a small toy rather than sweets, if he is anything like my wee fella, he will love to get thomas the tank trains etc!

or the Police man will give out to you & me for not wearing one or let him put stickers all over his helmet, or just do what Lumen says!

We had a similar problem, and used this tactic. It helped that a friend's brother was a Garda, and we asked him to come around in his uniform and scare the bejaysis give our young fella a bit of advice. Something along the lines of "you have to were a helmet or I'll come and put you in prison",* it kinda worked: he wore the helmet none stop for the next three days, regardless of whether he was on his bike or not.

*You may also need to start saving for the therapy sessions in later life to repair the damage done by this method..

Larbre34

Kav0777 wrote: »

*You may also need to start saving for the therapy sessions in later life to repair the damage done by this method..

No in fairness that was the standard issue parenting method in the 70s and 80s and it did us no harm

Equation: (Do / Don't do) X/ Y or the (man / policeman / store manager / priest / local pedo ) will ( get you / throw you out)

ThisRegard

miller_63 wrote: »

If the chin strap buckle has ever pinched as it has a tendency to do so then they are very aware of this pain! It took my daughter ages to get over this fear once it had pinched.

Ow, been there, done that, twice ! You'd think I couldn't feel guiltier after doing it the first time to her.

In better news, dropping the 16 month old into creche earlier this week and an older kid had left their balance bike just inside the door. He went over and tried to throw his leg over it. I have great hopes for this one.

Miaireland

Could you put the helmet in a shopping bag and come home with it and say that you swapped the helmet in the shop for a looser one?

PaddyFagan

miller_63 wrote: »

If the chin strap buckle has ever pinched as it has a tendency to do so then they are very aware of this pain! It took my daughter ages to get over this fear once it had pinched.

I got caught by this one too - I know constructive discussions with 3 year olds can be difficult to say the least (my two are 6 & 10, so at least easier to hold a discussion with) - but if you can find out where/why it's too tight. As others have said it be pinching somewhere or all in his head, but at least with guidance from him where the problem is you can do something about it - even if that amounts to no physical change to the lid.

Keep with it - but let him know you want to help 'fix' it is key in my experience.

Paddy

07Lapierre

Fian wrote: »

"We are going to the shop to buy sweets! yipee!!

Let's go [toddler] are you ready?

Great put on the helmet and we will cycle there.

Oh no, if the helmet is too tight I guess we can't go then."

Repeat daily until problem subsists.

Edit: Wow, triple ninja, never happened to me before.

told ya I know feck all about this stuff...buy a new bike so! :P

Stone Deaf 4evr

Kav0777 wrote: »

We had a similar problem, and used this tactic. It helped that a friend's brother was a Garda, and we asked him to come around in his uniform and scare the bejaysis give our young fella a bit of advice. Something along the lines of "you have to were a helmet or I'll come and put you in prison",* it kinda worked: he wore the helmet none stop for the next three days, regardless of whether he was on his bike or not.

*You may also need to start saving for the therapy sessions in later life to repair the damage done by this method..

Our neighbours used to use the threat of the guards a lot, All was grand until they were in a car crash, no one hurt, but when the guards arrived the kids went nuts with the fright of it, took them a long time to travel in a car without major coaxing.

Edit; on a happier note, dealing with 2 year olds is like trying to negotiate with radical fundamentalists. My 2 year old daughter danced a jig last night over something and she was so extreme with it, that she nearly knocked herself over. Of course, myself and the missus only laughed so that only added fuel to the fire.

galwaycyclist

Kav0777 wrote: »

We had a similar problem, and used this tactic. It helped that a friend's brother was a Garda, and we asked him to come around in his uniform and scare the bejaysis give our young fella a bit of advice. Something along the lines of "you have to were a helmet or I'll come and put you in prison",* it kinda worked: he wore the helmet none stop for the next three days, regardless of whether he was on his bike or not.
.

Bad idea. There are documented cases of small children being injured/asphyxiated by catching cycle helmets on playground equipment etc. If you are being firm about wearing the helmet on the bike then, arguably, you need to be equally firm about not wearing the helmet when off the bike.

beauf

Maybe a cooler looking helmet of a theme, he likes.

https://www.google.ie/search?q=cool+toddler+helmets&safe=off&es_sm=122&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=qfIvVdj9N6KS7AbUxoCICQ&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=1075

pelevin

You could try explaining to him that yes he's right, helmets do make you look like a total tool, but Sean Kelly won races both with a helmet and without, so if Kelly could overcome the natural aversion of any decent human being, then it shouldn't be a big deal for him.

Cartman78

Thanks again for all the replies – tried pretty much every tactic mentioned here (apart from Gardai involvement) but no luck whatsoever.

Finally, decided to go back to the bike shop on Saturday morning with toddler and helmet, and to ask the man in the shop to “fix” the helmet.

Amazingly this worked!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I handed the helmet to the guy and he basically fiddled about (in a professional manner) with the straps, told us it was fixed and then we were able to pop the helmet on there and then with no problems at all….he declared loudly “Man fix it” and strode off out the door.

Went back cycling on Saturday and Sunday so all is good until the next round of toddler chaos lands in