helping toodler adjust to new arrival

bp

I know this has been done a million times but my OH and I are at our wits end.

Our two year old had a great sleep routine, well good! 1-2 hour nap during the day and about 11-12 hours at night. Night time usually involved cuddles and going back in maybe once. Now it takes three hours until they pass out from exhaustion. also they won't nap so losing about four hours sleep a day and waking up early.

We do lots of one on one time with each parent and together during the day. At night we have tried cuddling, ignoring, stories, reassurance that the new baby doesn't change how much we love them but nothing is working.

Any tips from more experienced parents. Oh and I am breast feeding so do have to spend time feeding baby - have tried read books on the couch with mammy but isn't working

Thanks!

Suucee

Oh sounds tough. how old is new baba. My daughter was 23mnths when no 2 came and had exact same routine as you. It also get messed up. I think she wanted to see that baby wasnt getting attention when she was in bed. So we bathed baby at same time as her and put them both to bed at same time (OH helped with this) i also done my best to get baby napping at same time or just before her so she could see he was asleep. Its hard but it eventually sorted itself out.

bp

Thanks :-) babba is a week old. Yeah going to put babba in bed tonight before toodler and get them to help

cyning

Bubbles and stickers helped when I was breastfeeding here with a 20 month gap: she used stick stickers on my boobs when we were feeding and occasionally on babies head failing that I blew bubbles and she used burst them (made for a messy floor but she was happy!).

It was hard for the first few weeks but did get easier as a routine of sorts developed. They are mad about eachother now.

ariana`

We started using a star chart around this time so toddler got lots of praise/rewards for little things and got made to feel like a big boy doing things the baby couldn't. Also bought him a new bedside character night light as like your little one the bedtime routine became a battle ground. But we really stuck it out as much as possible and persevered with routine and things did settle again after a short while. Hang in there xx

bp

Thank you for the suggestions - love stickers on the babies head :-)

bp

toodler not happy! Helped put baby to bed and came back down with us. all well until I left the room - trying to go back to the pre-baby routine. Hopefully it will sort itself out in a few nights.

On the plus side I am hearing tired cries from upstairs not blue murder. Poor daddy!

RentDayBlues

bp - if your baby is only a week old you really need to ride it out sadly, your poor toddler has had their world turned upside down.

One of the things that always stuck with me before I had my second was : imagine your husband brought another woman to live in your home, this is how it is for a toddler when a new baby arrives.

My eldest was 18 months, she took to the new baby really well and didn't display much jealousy, but her sleep routine went out the window. Her naps started to reduce so much, if they happened at all and she woke at night. This was coupled with getting 8 new teeth in 8 weeks and 12 weeks of conjunctivitis and ear infections! Her world was changed and she needed to show us. It took about 8-10 weeks for her sleep to settle down to what it had been before. But it did settle.

Just give your toddler some time to adjust. Involve them as much as possible in helping with the baby. Snacks for toddler during feeding worked for us and sadly TV!

Good luck and enjoy having two, it's so wonderful.

bp

yeah I do feel for the poor kid....I am hormonal and emotional which doesn't help at all!!!

RentDayBlues

bp wrote: »

yeah I do feel for the poor kid....I am hormonal and emotional which doesn't help at all!!!

Oh yeah, you are dealing with post partum and the "guilt" - not giving enough attention to toddler, to baby, to husband!! It really does get easier, and by about 4 weeks or so we had begun to settle. My husband got man flu the week my baby came home so "couldn't" lift the baby or toddler is case they got it, I never thought my patience could be stretched so thin ;0)

ariana`

bp wrote: »

yeah I do feel for the poor kid....I am hormonal and emotional which doesn't help at all!!!

Hormonal, emotional AND SLEEP DEPRIVED!!!! Don't underestimate how hard it is having a newborn and toddler give yourself a break and time will work wonders. Take all offers of help you can in the meantime. 1 week is still very early days, each week will get easier from here on in.

bp

thanks all - I know its early days but at 5am you will try anything and look for advice everywhere :-)

Mars Bar

Toodler! That made me laugh.

In all seriousness, I hope it all works out and that your toddler is back to good habits soon!

Kaylami

My toddler was 21 months when evie arrived. I walked round the house with evie latched on trying to get Mia to cooperate.

Luckily we have a elder child who was 5 who was a godsend at keeping the toddler entertained. Oh how I missed her when she went to school!

Good news is 8 months down the line. Toddler and baby both go down at 7 pm and eldest at 8pm. All three share a room and I'm finally getting a full nights sleep.

New baby is due in September though!