DH struggling around ovulation time

scaredycat

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Typer Monkey

I think you're being very hard on him tbh. It's not like he's having performance issues on purpose. My friend mentioned to me before that he felt under pressure to perform while he and his wife were TTC and that sometimes that lead to him not being able to orgasm. I think being angry at him is just going to make things worse. Imagine if things were the other way around and he was putting you under pressure to orgasm and got angry and hostile when you didn't..

You've already had sex four times around ovulation, there's plenty of sperm there already. Sperm can live for days.

I think you should be kinder to your husband. You're a team after all. I feel a bit sorry for him tbh

tinkerbell

Your poor husband. You say there's no pressure on him as it's only your second month trying but all I'm reading from your post is pressure, pressure, pressure coming from YOU! You are being horrible to him, giving out to him because he's having performance issues FFS, that is really low. Cop onto yourself and start treating your husband like a human being who has feelings and not just some domestic appliance who you demand to produce a load of sperm and then get angry when it doesn't happen.

How would you feel if it were the other way around? I feel really sorry for your husband. You need to apologise and stop acting so selfish and self-centered as otherwise his performance issues will get even worse and it'll be all your own fault.

scaredycat

as soon as I posted the above I realised how awful I've been to him and you are both right I am being selfish and putting pressure on him only I was so ignorantly fixated on ttc that I neglected to see what I was doing to my husband.
thanks for your honesty... I will sort this and apologise to my husband

pwurple

We were ttc for years... My husband told me very early on that it was way easier on him when he didn't know it was ovulation time.

Neyite

Happens the best of them Scaredy. We've spoken about it from time to time on the chat thread.

A couple of points that might help you out is, firstly, dont tell him, just seduce him when you get your positive ovulation signs. Dig out the sexy undies and pounce. You can always tell him afterwards, in the two week wait. Most men appreciate not knowing in the moment how crucial their performance is.

Secondly, you shouldnt be actually at it like rabbits - once before ovulation and once afterwards is more than enough - thats what they recommend in the fertility clinics if you are under a supervised cycle. The evidence suggests that doing it too much reduces the quality of the sperm so every second day is more than enough. So it's highly likely you've both done enough to get pregnant, if you know what I mean.

Doing it just before ovulation is better because the sperm is there then waiting for the egg, as the egg lasts only 12 hrs and sperm up to 5 days.

Hope this helps.

scaredycat

Thanks to all of you for your replies....
I don't know what happened me sat but I was like a woman possessed and I'm genuinely ashamed of the way I carried on and I NEVER want to see that side of me appear again.
I've apologised to my husband and he was great about it and I think from now on I won't tell him and if it happens it happens. We already have a beautiful little boy so we are grateful for him enough that if we never conceived again we will be happy with just this guy.
Thanks again everyone