Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

rawn

Under a post about eBay

I am A***** J*** by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address d*****@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.*****. His email d******@yahoo.com or call now +1323*******

coolhull

A spell-caster? Either that poor woman is deranged, or her husband is one hell of a catch...

BattleCorp

rawn wrote: »

Under a post about eBay

I am A***** J*** by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address d*****@yahoo.com , have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my husband back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.*****. His email d******@yahoo.com or call now +1323*******

Awwwwww. Why did you block out the phone number? I need that number to get him to cast a spell on Irish Water so that I can get my money back with added compensation. ☺

machiavellianme

TheChevron wrote: »

ANYe1 no de name ov a gud slister in [town name]


SLISTER!!!!

An S lister? Is that someone who is 7 levels up from a Z list celebrity?
Can't imagine why you'd want anything worse than a Blister?

Lisha

machiavellianme wrote: »

An S lister? Is that someone who is 7 levels up from a Z list celebrity?
Can't imagine why you'd want anything worse than a Blister?

It's solicitor

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Robsweezie

*picture of girlfriend's poo in toilet*

"Even when she poops she's beautiful"

coolhull

Robsweezie wrote: »

*picture of girlfriend's poo in toilet*

"Even when she poops she's beautiful"

Jaysis, that would give you the sh1ts, wouldn't it?

Shannon757

Robsweezie wrote: »

*picture of girlfriend's poo in toilet*

"Even when she poops she's beautiful"

I call bullsh1t on that one.

arayess

BattleCorp wrote: »

Awwwwww. Why did you block out the phone number? I need that number to get him to cast a spell on Irish Water so that I can get my money back with added compensation. ☺

ah here, there are limits to his voodoo powers

rawn

My "sometimes bae" far right told me she had a surprise for me☺☺..so I come over....she yells out Ty come to the bathroom!!!...so I go����....first thing I ���� is 3 women and I'm like hell yeah!!!!!!������......then I saw the water����....the **** is y'all bathing in....swamp water����...water from camp crystal lake���� hot dog water����....was it that color before or after����...bitch I need answers����.....what's under the water.... Turtles??...baby gators??...jason??..bitch I need answers...do your friends have penises or vaginas??...why y'all looking at me like that...bitch I need answers����....why is the soap not in the water����.....why is trump about to be the next president����..bitch I need answers����

Ted_YNWA

The main answer we all need is, wtf is he on about.

montyrebel

Any ideas?


#.number 1MA.name.name@HOTSTUFF for the pensioner who lost plot .com WICKED SONI LOVE ALWAYS.....know what happened now TILL THE AL MAN EV1 thinks ther ma best but i know none cum close mine for 17yrs through all bad my ma been rite behind me cleaning my mess an i know I'm nt the winner of best behaviour but even when I f#‪#‎k‬ up never on purpose I do try my gt caught lol even when I'm wrong an stumble in more than 1 way my wee ma embarrassed (I NEV KNOW WHY )I know shel b ther so what I'm trying say Hitler at 5 foot fa u nev let me down cause im ur son that let's U down all time no other ma cud go through that s#‪#‎t‬ an yes again I'm ur son an Love U 2bits (but fm ur HARD WORK )OV ME I KNOW!AL MY M8S SCARED U AN UD FULL STEAM ANY WER GET ME! UR 1 OF KIND plz go for me il feel bad if u dn't do it for wicked me!think il loss sleep over that snattery **** on his high horse looking down at me that was me yes ago had loads Mon own bias an look now bit I've U NO1 cum close till my wee Mum ty

Samaris

What..on...earth. It's making my headache worse.

Two panadol later...

montyrebel wrote: »

Any ideas?


#.number 1MA.name.name@HOTSTUFF for the pensioner who lost plot .com WICKED SONI LOVE ALWAYS.....know what happened now TILL THE AL MAN

The first bit is obviously just his warming up his fingers for typing. That's the only explanation I have anyway.

EV1 thinks ther ma best but i know none cum close mine for 17yrs through all bad my ma been rite behind me cleaning my mess an i know I'm nt the winner of best behaviour but even when I f#‪#‎k‬ up never on purpose I do try my gt caught lol even when I'm wrong an stumble in more than 1 way my wee ma embarrassed (I NEV KNOW WHY )I know shel b ther so what I'm trying say Hitler at 5 foot fa u nev let me down cause im ur son that let's U down all time no other ma cud go through that s#‪#‎t‬ an yes again I'm ur son an Love U 2bits (but fm ur HARD WORK )OV ME I KNOW!AL MY M8S SCARED U AN UD FULL STEAM ANY WER GET ME! UR 1 OF KIND plz go for me il feel bad if u dn't do it for wicked me!think il loss sleep over that snattery **** on his high horse looking down at me that was me yes ago had loads Mon own bias an look now bit I've U NO1 cum close till my wee Mum ty

Okay... "Everyone thinks their ma is the best, but I know none come close to mine. For 17 years through all the bad, my ma has been right behind me, cleaning my mess and I know I'm not the winner of best behaviour, but even when I **** up (never on purpose) I do try ..my get caught? Even when I'm wrong and I stumble in more than one way, (and?) my wee ma is embarrassed (I never know why!), I know she'll be there, so what I'm trying to say is Hitler at 5 foot ..father? For? You never let me down because I'm your son that lets you down all the time. No other ma could go through that **** and yes again, I'm your son and love you to bits (but f**k me, you're hard work) you love me I know. All my mates scared you (or possibly are scared of you) and you'd full-steam anywhere to get me. You're one of a kind. Please go for me, I'll feel bad if you didn't for wicked me! Think I'll lose sleep over that snattery **** on his high horse looking down on me, that was me, (yes ago had loads Mon own bias an look now - I have no idea, maybe his fingers overloaded) but I have you. No-one comes close to my wee Mum thank you."

Maybe need more panadol.

Ted_YNWA

Very short version from what I gather.

I love my mam.

Samaris

Also something about tiny Hitlers.

nikpmup

Samaris, you deserve a medal for wading through that.

cowboyBuilder

here 1 for yiz heard on de radio yesterday think its pricless meself haha. a bloke sent his bird a call me message yeah den wen she rang him he blanked her haha by sayin sorry but u just dont got de x factor ha and he didnt even waste any credit ****in gas haha






wat de big deal with dis luv hate feckin programe de bleedin irish actin is **** like 1 thing rings trough bout de programe it shows de real cardboard gangster in all is glory haha muppets

stoplooklisten

cowboyBuilder wrote: »

here 1 for yiz heard on de radio yesterday think its pricless meself haha. a bloke sent his bird a call me message yeah den wen she rang him he blanked her haha by sayin sorry but u just dont got de x factor ha and he didnt even waste any credit ****in gas haha

I heard an amusing story yesterday on the radio.A man sent his woman a "call me" text.When she called him, he said "sorry you don't have the x factor". It did not cost him any phone credit. Very funny!

cowboyBuilder wrote: »

wat de big deal with dis luv hate feckin programe de bleedin irish actin is **** like 1 thing rings trough bout de programe it shows de real cardboard gangster in all is glory haha muppets

Love Hate, the acting is terrible, one thing is true the shows the real cardboard gangsters in all their glory. Oh they are muppets

Samaris

Ooh, I thought he was still on about X-Factor!

Also, the first guy sounds like a real catch. :eyeroll:

coolhull

cowboyBuilder wrote: »

here 1 for yiz heard on de radio yesterday think its pricless meself haha. a bloke sent his bird a call me message yeah den wen she rang him he blanked her haha by sayin sorry but u just dont got de x factor ha and he didnt even waste any credit ****in gas haha

S/he is easily amused

PowerToWait

Some of these people seem to literally not have the brains they were presumably born with.

thesandeman

Imagine what it's going to be like in a couple of generations.
Facebook has managed to put evolution in reverse.

Ted_YNWA

Job recruiters should be allowed to see applicant FB post history.

IvyTheTerrible

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Job recruiters should be allowed to see applicant FB post history.

They look at profiles already as part of the selection process.

BattleCorp

thesandeman wrote: »

Imagine what it's going to be like in a couple of generations.
Facebook has managed to put evolution in reverse.

I don't think it is putting evolution in reverse. People were already starting to be dumbed down before Facebook came along.

What Facebook does is give every thick cnut an audience. Without Facebook they would still be thick cnuts, but unless we were in their close circle of friends, we wouldn't know the full extent of their "retardness".

pc7

BattleCorp wrote: »

What Facebook does is give every thick cnut an audience. Without Facebook they would still be thick cnuts, but unless we were in their close circle of friends, we wouldn't know the full extent of their "retardness".

Oh god you used 'the word' we are going to be spammed now by the video of how that word is wrong (yes I know it is, but hate when the thread gets derailed by it). Its not a fun derailment like the angles ones!

BattleCorp

pc7 wrote: »

Oh god you used 'the word' we are going to be spammed now by the video of how that word is wrong (yes I know it is, but hate when the thread gets derailed by it). Its not a fun derailment like the angles ones!

What word, what word? Oh Sh1t. Did I make the same mistake as Gerry and use the N word? :eek:

kunst nugget

BattleCorp wrote: »

What word, what word? Oh Sh1t. Did I make the same mistake as Gerry and use the N word? :eek:

Retard. Rainy Day and his fifteen videos are on their way!!!

pc7

BattleCorp wrote: »

What word, what word? Oh Sh1t. Did I make the same mistake as Gerry and use the N word? :eek:

No the R word it brings out a very strong response in this thread, hopefully we can avoid it and just have dumb status