Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

coolhull

Danny_B wrote: »

"Only for iv nower two head id be gone in the mornin swear now"

"Any1 sellin nice wemons tacksuits"
.

"Wemom's tacksuits". The latest in fashion trends. Everyone, get up to Browne Thomas and get your order in early.

Lady is a tramp

Nower two head ...?

Edit - ah! Nowhere to head, of course!

Riesen_Meal

http://i.imgur.com/ZoO12D3.jpg

Dunphy watch out....

LittleMuppet

This is from a SJW's FB page *cringe*

THE REVOLUTION OF THE TABLE:
It started out as a quiet evening, relaxing with a pint in the Shakespeare. We had a table.
A man tried to occupy our table by forcing his way in and when he realised we weren't moving he made a reference to us being pricks... he found an opening and ended up at the table with us anyway...
He was wearing a Canterbury Leinster Top that sported a big Bank of Ireland Logo on the side sleeve.
He was asked why he was wearing it and when he explained he supported Leinster, it was pointed out to him that he was advertising a bank that has evicted people from their homes...
His response : "I work in a bank, banks haven't done that in 8 years and they only evict people who have defaulted on their payments"
He didn't realise it but he made a massive mistake...not only did he call us pricks and insert himself into our table and our lives... he also worked in the bank (KBC to be exact, previously working in AIB)
I personally don't see the point in attacking low level bankers who are oblivious to the massive issues that are caused by banks... all that was said to him was that he facilitated a system that has caused families to be homeless and suicide rates to spike to an all time high...
He didn't take it too well...
He then turned into the evil villain known as 'The Banker' ...
His points:
¤ Suicide Rates have spiked Globally - It was explained to him that there was a global recession and it still falls back on the banks
¤ He didn't personally cause the recession - Nobody said he did
¤ He helps the elderly - Irrelivant
¤ He works for Pieta House - Irrelivant
¤ He feeds the homeless - Irrelivant
¤ His Personal Life isn't irrelivant - Irrelivant
¤ What do we do in our spare time - Irrelivant
¤ We've not to go crying to him when we want the mortgage for our dream home - Irrelivant
¤ The government bailed out the banks, that doesn't affect us at all - The taxpayer is footing the bill for the bailout through tax increases and austerity measures.. then the chanting started.. "The Banks Got Bailed Out, We Got Sold Out"
¤ We get our money a fraction of a second earlier thanks to him personally and the system he said he created and later said he didnt create? - At that point he was laughed at
That's just some of them... this war for our table went on for several hours..
I just want to point out that he was screaming these points not debating them...
We just wanted our table back..
Several times he went to leave but would sit back down
Eventually his friends moved his stuff to the furthest point possible from us...
We had won... we had annoyed the **** out of someone so much that not only he... but everyone else in the pub too... did not want to sit with us.. we had reclaimed our table!
We then had a good aul fashioned 'Stare Off' down the smokers area... Us versus Him

sheep?

FIGHT THE POWER!

coolhull

But maybe he was the cleaner or served the tea to the bank manager and didn't want to admit it :P

pc7

What's SJW? They sound like right douches

inforfun

pc7 wrote: »

What's SJW? They sound like right douches

Social Justice Warrior.

And yes, they usually are.

BattleCorp

pc7 wrote: »

What's SJW? They sound like right douches

SJW is slang for arsehole.

von Smallhausen

"Off dis for a while going to shower d kids get to bed school in d morning even doe they cry demselfs to sleep cus they say but mam it's still morning timel lol"

Has FB really become that addictive?

failinis

People sharing these things make me sick.
I told the person I felt in the comments, more likely will have to unfriend them.

Riesen_Meal

failinis wrote: »

People sharing these things make me sick.
I told the person I felt in the comments, more likely will have to unfriend them.

I just bite my lip with nonsense like this when I see it, usually just unfollow the person so I don't have to unfriend them...

There are so many of my Facebook friends who are the soundest people you could meet in real life, but as soon as they open their mouths on social media I question why I'm even friends them in the first place...

failinis

I forgot about the "unfollow" instead of "unfriend" function.
So I can ignore seeing the posts but I still know the friend is a gob ****e so fixes half the problem :pac:

daisybelle2008

LittleMuppet wrote: »

This is from a SJW's FB page *cringe*

THE REVOLUTION OF THE TABLE:

€ He helps the elderly - Irrelivant
€ He works for Pieta House - Irrelivant
€ He feeds the homeless - Irrelivant
€ His Personal Life isn't irrelivant - Irrelivant
€ What do we do in our spare time - Irrelivant
€ We've not to go crying to him when we want the mortgage for our dream home - Irrelivant


We just wanted our table back..
Several times he went to leave but would sit back down

We had won... we had annoyed the **** out of someone so much that not only he... but everyone else in the pub too... did not want to sit with us.. we had reclaimed our table!

€ Spelling irrelevant correctly - Irrelivant

'Our table'....I thought the SJW would be willing to share communely not bully the pub goers to keep the table their exclusive property?

LittleMuppet

daisybelle2008 wrote: »

€ Spelling irrelevant correctly - Irrelivant

'Our table'....I thought the SJW would be willing to share communely not bully the pub goers to keep the table their exclusive property?

Her feed is full of this kinda s**t. I've unfollowed her, but not unfriended her cos some of the stuff she posts is very amusing

Captain Flaps

OP: "Can anyone recommend a drop in, pay per session pool that's clean and not full of creeps?"
Friend: "Cabra pool (inspire gym) is open as drop in on weekends. I go to that one. What pool do u go that is full of creeps?"
OP: "I'm not experienced in any pool just have a fear of creeps!"

:rolleyes:

benjamin d

Captain Flaps wrote: »

OP: "Can anyone recommend a drop in, pay per session pool that's clean and not full of creeps?"
Friend: "Cabra pool (inspire gym) is open as drop in on weekends. I go to that one. What pool do u go that is full of creeps?"
OP: "I'm not experienced in any pool just have a fear of creeps!"

:rolleyes:

I'd be willing to bet the same wan looks like sh1t on a stick

Lyaiera

benjamin d wrote: »

I'd be willing to bet the same wan looks like sh1t on a stick

Looking like an arse boil has never stopped someone from being creeped on.

rawn

"Got new glasses today" along with a selfie with no glasses on.

2RockMountain

rawn wrote: »

"Got new glasses today" along with a selfie with no glasses on.

Should have gone to .....

gutenberg

At last count, 12 of my friends have shared that photo of the sun setting behind the Phoenix monument in the Phoenix Park, with the cloud supposedly taking the form of a gorilla 'kissing' it. I'd say at least six have shared it with 'RIP Harry' messages. I mean, ffs, he was a gorilla!!

Guy:Incognito

gutenberg wrote: »

At last count, 12 of my friends have shared that photo of the sun setting behind the Phoenix monument in the Phoenix Park, with the cloud supposedly taking the form of a gorilla 'kissing' it. I'd say at least six have shared it with 'RIP Harry' messages. I mean, ffs, he was a gorilla!!

Is there a bigger loads of thanks whoring wankery than that long , droning ****fest of a post addressed to the gorilla "im sorry you were locked up and murdered, blah blah blah blah" ?

**** all the way off.

Big Nasty

Guy:Incognito wrote: »

Is there a bigger loads of thanks whoring wankery than that long , droning ****fest of a post addressed to the gorilla "im sorry you were locked up and murdered, blah blah blah blah" ?

**** all the way off.

That's a different gorilla.

StripedBoxers

http://i.imgur.com/QGN0BeB.jpg

URGENT: I know a lady who in desperate need of help. She in ahn abusive relationship, a victim of domestic violence. She is beaten, cut, and her life threatened. Any time she tries to fight back, the community leaders tell her that she is wrong to do so.
the questions they ask her are follows
What did you do to incite the violence?
Maybe you said something to cause anger?
Maybe you didn't make supper in time?
Maybe the house wasn't in order?
They urge her not to fight back. They say she must deserve it for some reason. Go home. Resume your life. Just keep low, stay quiet. Maybe give him some more space in your home. Try to give him things to make him happy. She does. She listens. She gives him sentimental gifts that were given to her by her parents. All in the name of peace. Anything for peace.
But he's insatiable. No matter how much she gives, he always wants more. The only thing that seems to make him
happy is her suffering, and her death.
She listens to what her leaders say, for all she wants is to live in peace. Enjoy her home. Enjoy the sun. Enjoy her family.
After each domestic explosion, things calm for a short period of time until she's beaten again. She asks why. The answer? Because I can. Because you breathe. Because I decided that you shouldn't be in existence. Yes, you give me things, but I just destroy them. I pretend I want peace, but I just want to hurt you. Your suffering makes me happy.
When they go to the hospital after a fight, the doctors tend to him first. Assess his injuries. Patch him up. Give him pain medication. They write in his medical chart that he was attacked. Beaten. They ask her if she's hurt.....Yes? Just walk it off. Stop complaining. Stop causing violence.
She is confused. No one is helping her. Everyone is blaming her. How can people be so ignorant? How can they blame a woman who lives in fear of being killed....for the sole reason of just existing?
Always blamed. No matter what, always her fault. But faulted for what? For providing him with a beautiful home that she literally built from nothing? For allowing him to live freely? For feeding him? For taking care of his every need? But yes, his anger is her fault. At least that's what everyone is telling her.
But she alone knows truth. She and G&&d. She stop trying to convince people otherwise. She tired of the beatings. Tired of living infear. Tired of the attack. She ready to live without fear. She ready to fight back despite everyone telling her not to.

The only thing she needs? G-d. She calls all of her friends and asks them to pray for her. Be better people for her. Care for each other, for her. Provide her with as many merits as they can, because she knows the fight may be ugly, but that Gd and her ability to be close to Him her only weapon. &nd with that, she will prevail. She will survive. She will prosperous.
She's asking that we pray for her.
Her name: ISRA**.
However, as is true for many women, the world severely underestimates her strength.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

makingmecrazy

rawn wrote: »

"Got new glasses today" along with a selfie with no glasses on.

Probably misses her old glasses.......

yerwanthere123

Not a status, but a wall post. Made me laugh!

Happy Birthday! Hope you don't outshine me too much this year. I'll never forgive you for telling me you had meningitis when we were about the age we are in this pic. I bawled my eyes out, I didn't even know what it was. Did you ever even tell me it was a lie? Enjoy your day/life

endacl

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=80370256&postcount=123

Not from Facebook. This one is all Boards! Stumbled upon in a zombie thread...

"Ur company is a joke my husband had an app with u that u couldn't even turn up for .an app that u called him to make few days later ur secratary called with stupid low paid jobs an my husband advised her that he was looking for a certain price range to just look for those an if they come up great she then sent an email to u an forgot that my husband was cc on it to which you replied what tge story with this cocky ****er!!! Now I'm sorry but h over steeped the mark there so u can stick ur company there are plenty of other places that can help at the end of the day ur not even registered to help an u have a stink attitude . Thanks for nothing"

anewme

Even God is spamming people now.....,

A minute with GOD
I spent a minute and hope you will too.
I LOVE THE OPENING SENTENCE:
With what is going on in the world these days, Heaven could end up a ghost town?
My name is GOD. You hardly have time for Me. I love you and will always bless you.
I am always with you. I need you to spend 30 seconds of your time with Me today.
Don't pray, just praise. Today I want this message to go across the world before midnight.
Will you help? Please do not delete it and I'll help you with something that you are in need of.
Just dare Me! A blessing is coming your way. Please drop everything and pass it on.
Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding?
Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with God?
Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at?
Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't. GOD said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment.
When one door closes, God opens two. If GOD has opened doors for you, send this message to everyone...
Forward if GOD's been good to you!

MY CUP OF TEA

Funniest thread I have ever read on boards...

So much drivel on my newsfeed...but right now im looking at:

"why bother wit frnds tat dnt btr wit yea nymre im jus to gud...il nvr lern'

"Makes me smile wen my little girl tells me she loves me sz goes loves u mammy"

"What a lovely day me nd my little girl off to te park for a walk cnt believe she's 2 wed loves her so much sz my life xxx

All from the same girl a (distant) relation...all within 7 minutes of each other..ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

gutenberg

Dya ever see a girl hold up a rotten top to her mate and say 'isn't this pure massive!!'... Sorry Hun, I'm no Gok Won but please put that piece of clothing down before I set fire to it! Jaysus Christ.

:pac: