Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Shannon757

marcbrophy wrote: »

Is it tomorrow yet??? :eek:

:pac:

Tomorrow never comes.

Lady is a tramp

fussyonion wrote: »

London Friend: "1 more sleep m'Julie tink Im Defo gonna need a stiff drink putting up with u 4da next few days"

Dublin Friend: "Drink isn't wat Ill be needing a few bleeding Valium is something dat ill be packing. And its not one more sleep its half a sleep for me.. Next time u just cum here hahahaha"

London Friend: "Nah I've had Enough a tallaght to last me a lifetime so if ya wanna see me den you have to come ere that's the rule , oderwise f*ck yourself ... Slut chaaaaa Valium and den ya nappys aswell k ??? Don't be forgetting dem .... Yeno the way ya done ya tan de last time anya just wet yourself out of nowere anya I had tan dribbles down to ya ankles .... Yeaaa lets prevent dat"

Dublin Friend: "Wen ya seeing tan hows the babyy?"

London Friend: "Grand was there yestday she good fanny like a f*ckin wizard sleeve her words not mine ahhahahahahaha lucy looselips after date 9pounder."

Samaris wrote: »

I've...translated some of your posts before, Fussyonion, but you have me here! It's like reading something that's been Google Translated into Cyrillic and back to English via Romanian!

Here's what I got from it ...

"LF: One more sleep until I see you my dear. I think I shall require a strong alcoholic beverage in order to endure your company for the next few days.

DF: Instead of alcohol, I believe I will need Valium, and will therefore pack some. And it is not one more sleep, but half a sleep for me. Next time you should come here to Dublin.

LF: No thank you, I have spent sufficient time in Tallaght, so in future if you want to see me then you must come here. Otherwise f*** yourself. Yes, bring Valium, and also please bring nappies for yourself. Don't forget them. Do you recall last time when you did your tan and you then urinated on yourself, and had tan dribbled all the way down your legs? Let's prevent that this time.

DF: When are you seeing Tanya? How is the baby?

LF: She is good. I saw her yesterday. According to her, her birth canal is like a wizard's sleeve. Her labia are loose after giving birth to that nine pound baby."

I want your friends, fussyonion! Endless entertainment!

messy tessy

kitten_k wrote: »

Post this:

https://www.facebook.com/DublinsFM104/photos/a.103367816373520.2526.101359523241016/1150205985023026/?type=3&theater

Or this http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/09/29/facebook-urges-users-not-to-be-so-****ing-gullible/

link doesn't work as there is bad words in it... Sorry! Good article though!!

LynnGrace

osarusan wrote: »

More of this shyte

It's official Signed at 12.20. It's even passed on TV. Facebook will start charging this summer. If you copy this to your wall your icon will turn blue and your Facebook will be free for you. Please pass this message, if not your icon will be deleted.
P.S. this is serious, the icon will turn blue
(Copy and Paste to your wall)

One of the best :rolleyes: lines in that is 'it's even passed on tv'. What do the tools posting it think that means...!?

Samaris

Be very afraid that you were able to understand all that, Lady is a tramp

The whole last section now makes sense to me. Although...I kinda still wish it didn't. Some of the stuff people share publicly on Facebook never ceases to amaze me.

stinkle

LynnGrace wrote: »

One of the best :rolleyes: lines in that is 'it's even passed on tv'. What do the tools posting it think that means...!?

B b b but...Channel 13!!!!

pc7

Ugghhhhh! give me a break.

With a broken heart�� and tears ��in my eyes. I can honestly say dealing with cancer and the treatment of is by far the most difficult time I have ever known. I know what cancer and treatment can do to a body and I sometimes wonder if the treatment is worth it in the long haul. It seems to do more harm than good.
Nothing is more painful than trying to smile and remain positive, but after chemo and radiation, you know the person is physically changed and they suffer with this ��sadness. I know many of you do not give a hoot about this message because, of course, the cancer has not touched you. You do not know what it's like to have fought the fight or had a loved one who leads a battle against cancer.��
For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favor and only some of you will do it. If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, please add this to your status for one hour as a mark of support, respect and remembrance.��❤️
Copy and paste to support those affected by cancer. Do Not Share. From your phone or tablet, hold your finger on the message to copy and paste on your page. Thank You.����������

dee_mc

Why does it always say 'change your status to this attention seeking guff for one hour? Why one hour specifically? Like, are you supposed to delete it after the hour, or just replace it with some other crap?

razorblunt

pc7 wrote: »

Ugghhhhh! give me a break.

With a broken heart�� and tears ��in my eyes. I can honestly say dealing with cancer and the treatment of is by far the most difficult time I have ever known. I know what cancer and treatment can do to a body and I sometimes wonder if the treatment is worth it in the long haul. It seems to do more harm than good.
Nothing is more painful than trying to smile and remain positive, but after chemo and radiation, you know the person is physically changed and they suffer with this ��sadness. I know many of you do not give a hoot about this message because, of course, the cancer has not touched you. You do not know what it's like to have fought the fight or had a loved one who leads a battle against cancer.��
For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favor and only some of you will do it. If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, please add this to your status for one hour as a mark of support, respect and remembrance.��❤️
Copy and paste to support those affected by cancer. Do Not Share. From your phone or tablet, hold your finger on the message to copy and paste on your page. Thank You.����������

I came across this yesterday and I went a bit postal in my response (my Mam passed away due to cancer when I was 17), I was arguing about the "cancer has not touched you" line and the poster did state she "hadn't really read it and doesn't agree with that either". Some of her muppet friends were giving it the "ignore him girl" but thankfully she deleted it. She's one more added to the Hide list anyway.

pc7

razorblunt wrote: »

I came across this yesterday and I went a bit postal in my response (my Mam passed away due to cancer when I was 17), I was arguing about the "cancer has not touched you" line and the poster did state she "hadn't really read it and doesn't agree with that either". Some of her muppet friends were giving it the "ignore him girl" but thankfully she deleted it. She's one more added to the Hide list anyway.

That's it, she didn't even read it! Sheeple! At least she deleted it.

2RockMountain

Caoimhgh1n wrote: »

All your posts can become public tommorow . Even the messages that have been deleted or the photos not allowed. Better safe than sorry! After all, it does not cost anything for a simple copy and paste. Channel 13 News was just talking about this change in Facebook's privacy policy. I do not give Facebook or any entities associated with Facebook permission to use my pictures, information, messages or posts, both past and future. By this statement, I give notice to Facebook it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, or take any other action against me based on this profile and/or its contents. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of privacy can be punished by law (UCC 1-308- 1 1 308-103 and the Rome Statute). NOTE: Facebook is now a public entity. All members must post a note like this. If you prefer, you can copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your photos, as well as the information contained in the profile status updates. DO NOT SHARE. You MUST copy and paste

Posted yesterday by a barrister of my acquaintance - a feckin barrister.

It disappeared after a couple of hours when presumably more sensible people woke him up.

ivytwine

2RockMountain wrote: »

Posted yesterday by a barrister of my acquaintance - a feckin barrister.

It disappeared after a couple of hours when presumably more sensible people woke him up.

The thought of someone so gullible representing anyone in court is frightening 😨

marcbrophy

Anyone see that one about 5 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in July turn up on their feed?
Happens once in every 823 years apparently :eek:

Just for the hell of it, I checked the calendar on my PC and it happens again in 2022. Only 6 years away!

They couldn't possibly be lying, coud they? :pac:

2RockMountain

ivytwine wrote: »

The thought of someone so gullible representing anyone in court is frightening 😨

He's a really smart guy, and a great barrister by all accounts to date.

But it is something about technology maybe that causes this fog of confusion?

Pherekydes

marcbrophy wrote: »

Anyone see that one about 5 Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in July turn up on their feed?
Happens once in every 823 years apparently :eek:

Just for the hell of it, I checked the calendar on my PC and it happens again in 2022. Only 6 years away!

They couldn't possibly be lying, coud they? :pac:

This one turns up regularly. A simple calculation would show that it happens about every 6-11 years depending on which three days and which month they mention.

marcbrophy

Pherekydes wrote: »

This one turns up regularly. A simple calculation would show that it happens about every 6-11 years depending on which three days and which month they mention.

I know sure, it drives me closer to the insane asylum every time I see one.
When I see them I think, Do people not know how years work?

RhubarbCrumble

Comment under a mutual friend's photo of her children:

"aw da smal man da bulb of his dada luv and da litle doll pure penciled so she is"

FFS, speak English!

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

Comment under a mutual friend's photo of her children:

"aw da smal man da bulb of his dada luv and da litle doll pure penciled so she is"

FFS, speak English!

I got most of that but I'm sitting here saying "pen-silled PEN-sulled pen-sill-aid" (usually saying these statuses out loud helps with the translation) and I'm completely stuck. Has she coloured the child in? Done her wee eyebrows on fleek?

RhubarbCrumble

Kason Better Padlock wrote: »

I got most of that but I'm sitting here saying "pen-silled PEN-sulled pen-sill-aid" (usually saying these statuses out loud helps with the translation) and I'm completely stuck. Has she coloured the child in? Done her wee eyebrows on fleek?

lol, I think it's supposed to mean something along the lines of 'She's so cute'

retro:electro

Well av seen it all now tryin 2upstage th bride anal well keep tryin cos u will never get the a tension on you my sister looked HOT. Can't tank her enerf for d best day xxx

A tension (attention) has to be a new one.

marcbrophy

Pencilled is slang for looking so pretty, it's like someone drew you

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

marcbrophy wrote: »

Pencilled is slang for looking so pretty, it's like someone drew you

I don't understand how in the Christ people can come up with this stuff, understand how to use it, and then misspell the word "the" two different ways in one sentence

messy tessy

marcbrophy wrote: »

Pencilled is slang for looking so pretty, it's like someone drew you

Oh thank you! That was driving me mad anal!

PARlance

messy tessy wrote: »

Oh thank you! That was driving me mad anal!

Me anal, da tension.

kunst nugget

PARlance wrote: »

Me anal, da tension.

Ya speld tenshin rong ya muppit

pc7

Any photo of the one who likes showing up the bride and anal

2RockMountain

pc7 wrote: »

showing up the bride and anal

I think I saw that video once.

sullivlo

Today at breakfast,
Table on one side of us with three middle aged suits, loud voices. Table on the other side with two young fellas, construction workers, loud voices.
At one point in a rare moment of quiet one of the middle aged suits was heard to say "But you can understand WHY they voted Leave - we could do with getting rid of a few immigrants out of OUR welfare system, ha ha ha. Poles out, ha ha."

Young fella on the other table rears up and says sharply "What the **** did you say?"
Startled Suit looks like rabbit caught in headlamp and blusters a bit. Young fella half stands and says "What about the Poles? what about immigrants?"
Suit's mate says "Oh sorry, he was only joking, like."
Young fella sneers, "Oh right. Ha bleedin' Ha. Me moth* is a Pole, ya ****ing prick!"
Muttered apologies from table of suits, red faces all round, young fella sits down. Suits start to leave hurriedly.
I hear his mate say "Jaysus, Decko I didn't know Karen was polish?"
"She's not, ya bleedin muppet, she's from ****in' Finglas......But did ya see the face on that racist prick?"

*girlfriend for non Dubliners

dinorebel

PARlance wrote: »

Me anal, da tension.

Needs more lube.

razorblunt

Came across this on LinkedIn today (which is becoming like FB more and more but that's an issue for another day), this was in response to an article about the CEO of Barclay's saying current UK stock prices will cause sleepless nights for the next while:

Serves them right. They Suicided me and covered up up then hired someone to assassinate me. Even the Queen now knows. What goes around comes around. They are bankrupt anyway because of LIBOR which I blew the Whistle on.....