Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

failinis

Samaris wrote: »

...nut quick?

Cum quickly. Think it is American slang as tends to be on American sites where I see it.

PARlance

Swallow kids???

As in, not spitting?

failinis

PARlance wrote: »

Swallow kids???

As in, not spitting?

That is how I took it to mean too. Very nice to put up on fb so!

prinzeugen

Samaris wrote: »

...nut quick?

Most men in the good old USA are cut young to remove the foreskin (Chid abuse to me)

The head of the mickey resembles a walnut when it swells and all the fluids start flowing.. Hence nut..

Cake Man

"Jane Smith (obviously not real name) shared a link:

Which 20 names play an important role in your life???
1. Joanne Smith
2. Mike Jones
3. John Smith
4. Bob Smith
5. Lisa Murphy"
etc
etc

So basically fb filters your info by people that like or comment on your statuses or vice versa? Why, that's amazing! Fcuk off with this Sh!te!

Or even worse: "Jane Smith shared a link:

What celebrity do you look like??
Your result is 94% like Jennifer Aniston!!!"

Eh no Jane, you're ten stone overweight and look like the back of a cornflakes box, fcuk off filling my news feed with this sh!te.
This is even worse than clickbait, at least with clickbait you might get some random trivia or info but this is just pointless, narcissistic drivel.

ED E

The unfollow feature is a godsend, use it.

Any "90% of you won't share this..." and you're an instant unfriend though. A lad has to have his standards.

sheep?

It's a catch 22, then we potentially miss out on some atrocious status update down the line!

Anyone taking one for the team, bless you, bless you! Your sacrifice will never be forgotten! ;_;

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

FizzleSticks wrote: »

Eh...would it not be more to do with guys having "nuts"?

A classy post still. Swallowing kids (I know wtf) and all guys do is lie there, coz they are just a good for nothing shower of **** hun xoxo

I think it's they "lie" as in they're liars. Why just take a cheap shot at their sexual prowess when you can take a shot at their sexual prowess AND their character!

Grayson

Cake Man wrote: »

"Jane Smith (obviously not real name) shared a link:

Which 20 names play an important role in your life???
1. Joanne Smith
2. Mike Jones
3. John Smith
4. Bob Smith
5. Lisa Murphy"
etc
etc

So basically fb filters your info by people that like or comment on your statuses or vice versa? Why, that's amazing! Fcuk off with this Sh!te!

Or even worse: "Jane Smith shared a link:

What celebrity do you look like??
Your result is 94% like Jennifer Aniston!!!"

Eh no Jane, you're ten stone overweight and look like the back of a cornflakes box, fcuk off filling my news feed with this sh!te.
This is even worse than clickbait, at least with clickbait you might get some random trivia or info but this is just pointless, narcissistic drivel.

Quite often those "who do you look like" apps on facebook are just designed to get your info for phishing attempts. You put in your date of birth etc. The others like what are your superhero names are worse. What's your mothers maiden name? What's your first pets name? Might as well ask for your password whilst they're at it.

Samaris

Grayson wrote: »

Quite often those "who do you look like" apps on facebook are just designed to get your info for phishing attempts. You put in your date of birth etc. The others like what are your superhero names are worse. What's your mothers maiden name? What's your first pets name? Might as well ask for your password whilst they're at it.

Huh, I hadn't considered that. The who do you look like thing is a new one on me altogether, but fair point on the latter part. I don't tend to do them anyway so I hadn't given it much thought.

Minera

This guy is 28 .....

failinis

Minera wrote: »

This guy is 28 .....

It have seen this come up on "scottish tweets" twitter. Just people trying to come up with funny tweets (sometimes very sucessfully).

yerwanthere123

Sigh its on my mind again.The whole being 24 and never having had a relationship..the whole am I missing out..is there something wrong with me. Sigh. Most of the time it doesnt bother me but every now and then it just get to me. No relationships not even kisses which in my mind seems pathetic. Then again i dont think the opposite sex ever take a second glance at me. Im not a party person and i know everyone will just say try online dating but even that has me just anxious as hell. Im coming to the conclusion that maybe im destined to be alone and not experience any of anything that comes with a so called love life. Its hard when you see freaking 12 years with boyfriends or making out and youre 24 and nowt. No i dont want to change myself whats the point if i have to change myself. But then again what else can i do. Im shy, not the best looking, really not bothered by fashion or makeup but that seems to be only thing that draws attention. Il probably get shot down for this because well i seem to always get shot down. 24 years kids half my age have more experience than me which is none.nada. zilch. I dont know i really dont.

I simply cannot comprehend how someone could post this to Facebook, particularly when they utilise none of the privacy settings and it's for the world to see. I mean, why? What will it achieve? Particularly when you've been posting the exact same kind of stuff for over five years! None of her friends have any sympathy for her any more, and rightly so imo.

Mam of 4

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

I simply cannot comprehend how someone could post this to Facebook, particularly when they utilise none of the privacy settings and it's for the world to see. I mean, why? What will it achieve? Particularly when you've been posting the exact same kind of stuff for over five years! None of her friends have any sympathy for her any more, and rightly so imo.

What irritates me most about that post is the fact that she actually wrote the word Sigh.. :mad:

PTH2009

Facebook user is 'drinking everything Alcoholic' @ the pub

Is eating 'seriously good food'

****e like this drives me to despair lol

sheep?

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Sigh its on my mind again.The whole being 24 and never having had a relationship..the whole am I missing out ..is there something wrong with me. Sigh. Most of the time it doesnt bother me but every now and then it just get to me. No relationships not even kisses which in my mind seems pathetic. Then again i dont think the opposite sex ever take a second glance at me. Im not a party person and i know everyone will just say try online dating but even that has me just anxious as hell. Im coming to the conclusion that maybe im destined to be alone and not experience any of anything that comes with a so called love life. Its hard when you see freaking 12 years with boyfriends or making out and youre 24 and nowt. No i dont want to change myself whats the point if i have to change myself. But then again what else can i do. Im shy, not the best looking, really not bothered by fashion or makeup but that seems to be only thing that draws attention. Il probably get shot down for this because well i seem to always get shot down. 24 years kids half my age have more experience than me which is none.nada. zilch. I dont know i really dont.

She's certainly missing out on the whole alright.

razorblunt

PTH2009 wrote: »

Facebook user is 'drinking everything Alcoholic' @ the pub

Is eating 'seriously good food'

****e like this drives me to despair lol

All while checked into a generic restaurant chain or skulling pints of Miller.

rawn

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13645165_882391128560005_9001556990515921835_n.jpg?oh=27d8140ccd8942e9869d9a0a59d0871e&oe=581DED8A

Karmella

rawn wrote: »

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13645165_882391128560005_9001556990515921835_n.jpg?oh=27d8140ccd8942e9869d9a0a59d0871e&oe=581DED8A

That's awesome!

Minera

rawn wrote: »

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13645165_882391128560005_9001556990515921835_n.jpg?oh=27d8140ccd8942e9869d9a0a59d0871e&oe=581DED8A

Would someone mind deciphering that for me? I've read it a few times even tried sounding it out but I don't get it

It's ok got it ☺.... that is genius

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Minera wrote: »

Would someone mind deciphering that for me? I've read it a few times even tried sounding it out but I don't get it

Poor wee pet is trying to say lactose intolerant

maudgonner

Minera wrote: »

Would someone mind deciphering that for me? I've read it a few times even tried sounding it out but I don't get it

Lactose intolerant. Took me a few goes too, but it was worth it

sheep?

Lack toast and tall or rent = Lactose intolerant.

Lisha

sheep? wrote: »

Lack toast and tall or rent = Lactose intolerant.

All I can say to that is OMG!

Samaris

rawn wrote: »

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13645165_882391128560005_9001556990515921835_n.jpg?oh=27d8140ccd8942e9869d9a0a59d0871e&oe=581DED8A

Lack toast and tall or rent...just..wow.

Took me a few shots to get it too.

Cake Man

razorblunt wrote: »

All while checked into a generic restaurant chain or skulling pints of Miller.

Not to mention having the timestamp on the picture(s) they post up. Do you mean to say you're in a nightclub and it's 01:37am?!??1!? You fcuking mad thing, you truly are winning at life.

Not really anything to do with FB statuses but what kinda bugs me is people "liking" various generic brands. E.g. "John Smith likes Coca-Cola", "Bob Murphy likes KitKat", "Sarah Jones likes McDonalds" etc. I mean, really? Why!? Good man John, you're doing great work giving Coca-Cola free advertising whilst looking totally unoriginal! I never knew you'd like Coca-Cola at all! Sarah, I never would have thought somebody could like McDonalds! All this serves to do is clog up my news feed with advertising junk and sh!t that I'm suggested to also "like" (read as "promote this brand even more").

I guess I don't mind people plugging local businesses, pubs etc but I had to block one friend recently for going on a rampage of "likes" along the lines of:
"John Smith likes Cruise Holidays Mexico", "John Smith likes [insert some generic restaurant in another country that he's been to once when there on holidays]", "John Smith likes [insert some furniture store he's been to once located a few hundred miles away from where he actually lives"

El Weirdo

Cake Man wrote: »

Not to mention having the timestamp on the picture(s) they post up. Do you mean to say you're in a nightclub and it's 01:37am?!??1!? You fcuking mad thing, you truly are winning at life.

Not really anything to do with FB statuses but what kinda bugs me is people "liking" various generic brands. E.g. "John Smith likes Coca-Cola", "Bob Murphy likes KitKat", "Sarah Jones likes McDonalds" etc. I mean, really? Why!? Good man John, you're doing great work giving Coca-Cola free advertising whilst looking totally unoriginal! I never knew you'd like Coca-Cola at all! Sarah, I never would have thought somebody could like McDonalds! All this serves to do is clog up my news feed with advertising junk and sh!t that I'm suggested to also "like" (read as "promote this brand even more").

I guess I don't mind people plugging local businesses, pubs etc but I had to block one friend recently for going on a rampage of "likes" along the lines of:
"John Smith likes Cruise Holidays Mexico", "John Smith likes [insert some generic restaurant in another country that he's been to once when there on holidays]", "John Smith likes [insert some furniture store he's been to once located a few hundred miles away from where he actually lives"

I'm pretty sure that's just the sponsored posts and your friends don't actually "like" them. They just pull random names from your friends' list I guess.

von Smallhausen

rawn wrote: »

https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13645165_882391128560005_9001556990515921835_n.jpg?oh=27d8140ccd8942e9869d9a0a59d0871e&oe=581DED8A

Get that man some toast. He's too tall and needs to pay his rent to afford any. LOL good find!

coolhull

"Having a cup of coffee after a hard night"
Accompanied by, you guessed it, a photo of a cup of coffee.
Aahh, so that's what a cup of coffee looks like....