Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Gravelly

764dak wrote: »

This is a description of a private group:

https://pics.me.me/description-this-group-is-for-hardcore-radical-fringe-absolutely-uncompromising-22004480.png

I got bored after the first few lines.

Nothing wrong with that obviously, let 'em at it. If I sold cats or chocolate I'd be all over that group.

coolhull

Gravelly wrote: »

I got bored after the first few lines.

Nothing wrong with that obviously.If I sold cats or chocolate I'd be all over that group.

But fat doesn't necessarily mean ugly, nor indeed slim doesn't necessarily mean beautiful

pc7

What’s a NB?

rawn

pc7 wrote: »

What’s a NB?

Non-binary

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=non-binary

pc7

rawn wrote: »

Non-binary

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=non-binary

Bloody hell, you learn something new every day! I feel very very old at times.

rawn

pc7 wrote: »

Bloody hell, you learn something new every day! I feel very very old at times.

It's bonkers. You could have a whole thread of groups like the one posted, with all the mad gender-queer-non-binary-otherkin-banana **** from tumblr etc

rawn

"Warning from Sean Lee in An Garda. An IT colleague has advised that a video comes out tomorrow from WhatsApp called martinelli do not open it , it hacks your phone and nothing will fix it. Spread the word"

The White Feather

"I'm asking all my Facebook friends not to send any more chain letters through Facebook Messenger. No flashing hearts or flowers telling me I need to send the message to 10 people, including me if I'm your friend, and I know GOD loves me no matter if I pass on a post or not. ***Apparently these are rapid spreading viruses through these messages people keep passing***.
It is also how accounts are being hacked.
If you did not know, the malicious code writers, hackers, love to write their code in videos, because they are such large files its easy to hide their worms, Trojan horses, etc in them.
If you want to help stop cyber hacks PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM.
Feel free to copy/paste
THANK YOU."

Then the same person has posted a few hours later...

"I prayed and I have been blessed! When you receive this message pray a hail Mary and make a special request. Please do not break the novena. Copy and paste and say amen."

Pero_Bueno

The White Feather wrote: »

"I'm asking all my Facebook friends not to send any more chain letters through Facebook Messenger. No flashing hearts or flowers telling me I need to send the message to 10 people, including me if I'm your friend, and I know GOD loves me no matter if I pass on a post or not. ***Apparently these are rapid spreading viruses through these messages people keep passing***.
It is also how accounts are being hacked.
If you did not know, the malicious code writers, hackers, love to write their code in videos, because they are such large files its easy to hide their worms, Trojan horses, etc in them.
If you want to help stop cyber hacks PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THEM.
Feel free to copy/paste
THANK YOU."

Then the same person has posted a few hours later...

"I prayed and I have been blessed! When you receive this message pray a hail Mary and make a special request. Please do not break the novena. Copy and paste and say amen."

:eek:

The 2nd part is actually a nice explanation of the sheer idiocy of the 1st.


I like

If you did not know, the malicious code writers, hackers, love to write their code in videos, because they are such large files its easy to hide their worms, Trojan horses, etc in them.

Sweet Jesus !


edit - actually this is an interesting article https://www.opswat.com/blog/can-video-file-contain-virus

maybe the jokes on me now

corner of hells

The Love I Have For Him 💒ðŸ’💋It Was A Sin He Asked The Nurse Could He Stay Here With Us For The Night Anal

PeterParker957

corner of hells wrote: »

The Love I Have For Him 💒ðŸ’💋It Was A Sin He Asked The Nurse Could He Stay Here With Us For The Night Anal

VHI surely??? Never got offered thst on the public ward!!

sligojoek

corner of hells wrote: »

The Love I Have For Him ����It Was A Sin He Asked The Nurse Could He Stay Here With Us For The Night Anal

i prefer a bit of daytime anal, myself.

Ted_YNWA

PeterParker957 wrote: »

VHI surely??? Never got offered thst on the public ward!!

sligojoek wrote: »

i prefer a bit of daytime anal, myself.

It makes my whole week..

Surreptitious

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

job seeker

Surreptitious wrote: »

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

If there was ever a need for Google translate, this is it.. :rolleyes:

somesoldiers

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

It makes my whole hole week weak..

FYP

Ted_YNWA

somesoldiers wrote:

FYP

I was speaking in Facebookish

razorblunt

There's a guy I work with getting tagged in some other fella's promotions for a gig that's happening in February. His head is melted from it. The guy has a daily update trying to shill tickets to this thing, it's essentially just a small gig in a pub, the kind where the tickets will be bought by family to not have the lad sing to an empty pub or a pub trying to watch the tv in the corner.
Best part is the ticket comes with a "free meet and greet with the performers". 2 of the "support" act are lads learning to play the guitar.
Talk about notions of yourself.

benjamin d

somesoldiers wrote: »

FYP

That's literally the joke.

PeterParker957

Surreptitious wrote: »

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

Whuuuuhhhh ?????

razorblunt

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Whuuuuhhhh ?????

Yeah, wtf?

Are they talking about their dogs?

tea and coffee

Are they dogs or cats, these besties; or should I say beasties (groan)

PeterParker957

razorblunt wrote: »

Yeah, wtf?

Are they talking about their dogs?

It's a definite possibility. When man evolved from ape he talked in grunts.

I fear we're going back that way.

Samsgirl

Friend of a friend feeling festive



Rudolph the red-cock reindeer had a very shiny knob. And if you ever saw him, he would stick it in your gob. All of the other reindeer, used to **** and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any sex games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nob so bright, won't you do my arse tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red-cock reindeer, you should do pornography...

Ralf and Florian

Samsgirl wrote: »

Friend of a friend feeling festive



Rudolph the red-cock reindeer had a very shiny knob. And if you ever saw him, he would stick it in your gob. All of the other reindeer, used to **** and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any sex games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nob so bright, won't you do my arse tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red-cock reindeer, you should do pornography...

Is your friend Roger Melly from Viz?

rawn

De Bhál

^^^

A pilot?

WHIP IT!

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

inforfun

Well..... on my way to work yesterday they were discussing that a stay at home parent should actually have an income of €42.000 be cause of all the work he or she did.
When they tried to explain why, most of those jobs listed in the post above, were listed.

And when they do studies about that kind of thing, you can be sure there are people believing it.

rawn

"There laughing at yea you can't even rap get the next plane back to India yea crack head Wat are yea like even me nanny can rap better than you Hahahahaha yea soul call ur self famous and yea can't even rap I'd smash me ma phone if I ever see that video yea disgrace Hahahahaha"

WHIP IT!

WHIP IT! wrote: »

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

Ah Kev..

PeterParker957

rawn wrote: »

"There laughing at yea you can't even rap get the next plane back to India yea crack head Wat are yea like even me nanny can rap better than you Hahahahaha yea soul call ur self famous and yea can't even rap I'd smash me ma phone if I ever see that video yea disgrace Hahahahaha"

Nan get off the PC, you're drunk again!!!

rawn

WHIP IT! wrote: »

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

Well i can't vouch for its authenticity but I can confirm I have met many #mommabears who think like that!

Benildus

The local rag's FB page had an article about refugees being resettled in an old disused hotel near a primary school in the town. The local Councillor was quoted as saying we need to look after our own etc

Usual type of comments were posted:

• not in my town
• who has vetted them
• what about the Irish homeless
• won't anyone think of the children
• why can't they go home/somewhere else
• etc, etc

Then this gem popped up:

Life's Wars,tricky Extremely tricky...Though landing fugees ..Who's bullying who..Needless wars,Best to Refuse and Demand Peace in Syria for syrrians!!"Real battles are won DEFENDING Innocent folk and ALLOWING THEM STAY, IF WE ARE BOMBED HERE WHO TAKES US IN..AND ANSWER THIS..WHY MUST WE LEAVE..?"OUR OWN HOMELAND..FIGURE OUT WHY NO MUST BE THE STRONG WORD OF GOOD..DEMAND THE FIGHTERS TO LEAVE!!; Syria."NOW WERE TALKING DEFENCE.... IRISH ...FEAR STOPs them.far too often scholars!/

CalamariFritti

The scariest thing about facebook is that it gives us an insight into how Joe & Josephine Doe tick. On a large scale and with a lot of gory details. I bet anthropologists and sociologists are loving it.
I think the rest of us were better off not knowing.

Big Nasty

Killing Me Softly?

Ted_YNWA

Big Nasty wrote:

Killing Me Softly?

It's the reFugees they're thinking of.

Wannabe tribute band.

rawn

"But on the plus side you Liberal loons found home 🡠so for 4.000 Islamic Refugees.. You love our Democracy way of life Beer Bacon Gays
and are not offended at all with all Church's"

fussyonion

"won a box of king on facebook grand christmas come early told currier would be here today grand i says what time im told could be anytime.
head off ta smyths to get the last of (child's name) presents course no f****** lol dolls left cos some greedy c*** got the last one just before me. leggied it over to sowrds with (friend's name) got the f***** lol doll grand.

phone rings. currier with me king. im outside yer gaff love what says i im after going out like??? will i leave it on the step will you be long? says he. i says here im in f***** swords like!!!

he says ill leave it wit your neighbor i see her there goin in. i says you will in your ****e i cant stand the g**bag the last time the postman left somthing with her i had to f***** nearly streel her to give me it.

I says leave it on me doorstep and hope ta jaysus it isnt robbed. leggied it home anyway and what happen?? F***** box gone and i know it was der cos i seen a bit of cardboard from it on me step. some f***** g**bag after robbin me prize. karmas a bitch hun kormas a bitch. #waitandsee #aintnobodygonrobmeatchristmas"

(I added the paragraphs for your own sanity.)

El Weirdo

fussyonion wrote: »

"won a box of king on facebook grand christmas come early told currier would be here today grand i says what time im told could be anytime.
head off ta smyths to get the last of (child's name) presents course no f****** lol dolls left cos some greedy c*** got the last one just before me. leggied it over to sowrds with (friend's name) got the f***** lol doll grand.

phone rings. currier with me king. im outside yer gaff love what says i im after going out like??? will i leave it on the step will you be long? says he. i says here im in f***** swords like!!!

he says ill leave it wit your neighbor i see her there goin in. i says you will in your ****e i cant stand the g**bag the last time the postman left somthing with her i had to f***** nearly streel her to give me it.

I says leave it on me doorstep and hope ta jaysus it isnt robbed. leggied it home anyway and what happen?? F***** box gone and i know it was der cos i seen a bit of cardboard from it on me step. some f***** g**bag after robbin me prize. karmas a bitch hun kormas a bitch. #waitandsee #aintnobodygonrobmeatchristmas"

(I added the paragraphs for your own sanity.)

Makes sense.

secondrowgal

That's a classic in fairness fussyonion!

mackeire

A complaint on Littlewoods page:

So I saw the last day to get items in time for Christmas was Monday so foolishly I thought I could make a stress free transaction online with your company, NO this was not the case so ensues the following ****storm of complete ineptitude that's taken the jam well and truly out of my Christmas donut. I ordered 4 items from your website. Mostly Peppa Pig toys to hopefully surprise my wee baby child with. You took payment but didn't confirm the order. 8 remedial and temple vein bulge inducing phone calls later the customer care wreckin crew still cannot find the order but STILL have taken the money from my account. I was told by 2 members of this same 'elite' customer care team that a superviser / manager would call before the end of the day. I even questioned "will a superviser REALLY call me back" and was assured they would, so I'm a big eejit for believing the word from the mouths of this exceptional team of retailing geniuses. In hindsight, The birds in the sky knew nobody was going to call me back. So today your customer service tell me no such call was logged with the superviser! Ok great. So liars as well as thieves. You rightly lead me up the garden path now and just in time for Christmas So take the money from my bank account. Hold it for a few days but won't send the order out ? Is it beyond the realms of intelligence to perhaps just send the order out now having realised the mistake instead of leaving me stuck for both the order and MY MONEY. No instead you are going to refund to my card which takes 5 working days which realistically means I'll have it back earliest 27th of Dec ? Sure Christmas will be over then. The branches of the tree will have wilted downwards, the supply of celebrations will be down to wrappers and half chewed bounty bites and the depressing hint of January is well and truly in the air. Why didn't you go and buy them somewhere else people might ask! but No you have made sure I won't be able to do that because you still went and took my money. Well isn't this a fine business model. We mess up your order and you can sit around till after xmas and wait for your money back then. We won't go beyond performing the minimal amount of effort to resolve the issue. Now what happens if in 5 business days I don't see the refund ? You've done me up like a right Christmas Gob****e haven't you LITTLEWOODS IRELAND!

El Weirdo

mackeire wrote: »

A complaint on Littlewoods page:

So I saw the last day to get items in time for Christmas was Monday so foolishly I thought I could make a stress free transaction online with your company, NO this was not the case so ensues the following ****storm of complete ineptitude that's taken the jam well and truly out of my Christmas donut. I ordered 4 items from your website. Mostly Peppa Pig toys to hopefully surprise my wee baby child with. You took payment but didn't confirm the order. 8 remedial and temple vein bulge inducing phone calls later the customer care wreckin crew still cannot find the order but STILL have taken the money from my account. I was told by 2 members of this same 'elite' customer care team that a superviser / manager would call before the end of the day. I even questioned "will a superviser REALLY call me back" and was assured they would, so I'm a big eejit for believing the word from the mouths of this exceptional team of retailing geniuses. In hindsight, The birds in the sky knew nobody was going to call me back. So today your customer service tell me no such call was logged with the superviser! Ok great. So liars as well as thieves. You rightly lead me up the garden path now and just in time for Christmas So take the money from my bank account. Hold it for a few days but won't send the order out ? Is it beyond the realms of intelligence to perhaps just send the order out now having realised the mistake instead of leaving me stuck for both the order and MY MONEY. No instead you are going to refund to my card which takes 5 working days which realistically means I'll have it back earliest 27th of Dec ? Sure Christmas will be over then. The branches of the tree will have wilted downwards, the supply of celebrations will be down to wrappers and half chewed bounty bites and the depressing hint of January is well and truly in the air. Why didn't you go and buy them somewhere else people might ask! but No you have made sure I won't be able to do that because you still went and took my money. Well isn't this a fine business model. We mess up your order and you can sit around till after xmas and wait for your money back then. We won't go beyond performing the minimal amount of effort to resolve the issue. Now what happens if in 5 business days I don't see the refund ? You've done me up like a right Christmas Gob****e haven't you LITTLEWOODS IRELAND!

Why would anyone only half chew the Bounty bars?

PeterParker957

El Weirdo wrote: »

Why would anyone only half chew the Bounty bars?

Bite
Ewww coconut
Spit
Leave other half

El Weirdo

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Bite
Ewww coconut
Spit
Leave other half

Freak.

PeterParker957

El Weirdo wrote: »

Freak.

Hey they're no Malteasers!!!

MonkstownHoop

El Weirdo wrote: »

Freak.

Bountys are horrible

pc7

secondrowgal wrote: »

That's a classic in fairness fussyonion!

Half way through I said that has to be fussy, scrolled up and it was! Lol your friends crack me up!

coolhull

"Wouldn't ya fakking no it?
Yestidddy I went Tescos and botte a big trkey for Xmas n den himselfe came home sed he won anuder trkey in sum draw at wurk And a course den de young sez shes after getin word dat she won anuder 1 on sum Facebook yoke
Fakks sake we'll be ating turky til hallowen. "

Ah, you poor unfortunate. My heart goes out to you........

MonkstownHoop

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

Bountys are horrible

You take that back !! :pac: