Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

The King of Moo

"Whisper 'I love you' to a butterfly, and it will fly to heaven to deliver your message."

So what happens then? The butterfly arrives in heaven, reports to St. Peter that a human told it that it loves it? That wouldn't go down well up there.

How do you even get close enough to a butterfly to whisper to it?

I'm starting to think this might not actually be true...

padd b1975

"Who ever said blood is ticker than water never had a sister like mine".

Quote:

If Carlsberg done disasters... I'd probably be the best disaster in the world!!! ������
So Timmae rings me last night and says the first sound he wants his new son *** to hear when he comes out into the real world is Janspeed FM and the sound of a Twincam! So off we go to Holles Street hospital to collect the baby in style in my Twincam!
The baby gets into the Twincam and low and behold the car won't start �� Eventually we push it down the road and it starts! The look of relief on Mrs Timmaes face was epic and they were just starting to slag me saying I can't go anywhere when the car rolls to a stop again in the middle of Dublin city centre ��
With my godson **** taking priority the Timmae clan get a taxi home and leave me with the twincam outside some flats on Macken Street. After explaining to every local AJH (Ah Jaysis howaya) that my car wasn't a Ferrari and didn't look anything like one 2 hours later my mate Jimmae picks me up on the towtruck. Around the corner we go and boom we get pulled by the Garda and they take the towtruck AND the Twincam off us!
As they say folks the rest is history! I'm off to the pub! Cos at this stage I just give up!

TIMMAE!!!!!

yerwanthere123

Grindr is a really judgmental place. Buddha only knows why I subject myself to it lol.

rawn

One thing on FB lately that's really bugging me are the pictures of celebrities wearing obviously photoshopped t-shirts in a bid to sell them, they're everywhere! OMG Kit Harrington is wearing a Jon Snow tshirt, I MUST buy it!

Liam McPoyle

Like and share if you think Michael Conlan was robbed

#justiceformichael




/twitch

maudgonner

Saul T Nutzz wrote: »

Like and share if you think Michael Conlan was robbed

#justiceformichael




/twitch

Like and share if you think Pat Hickey is an innocent mon.

#Hickey'sNotTricky

pc7

For the love of sweet tiny baby jebus won't someone stop these stupid copy and paste sh1te status posts!

Anyone that truly knows me, knows that I will give you the shirt off my back if you need it! When I say I've got your back, I do. It's my word and I will always stand by my word!!
Everyone says: " if you need anything, don't hesitate, I'll be there for you"... So I'm going to make this bet, without being pessimistic , I wish "my friends" would put this on their wall. Just have to copy (not share)!!! I want to know who I can count on... And I'm sure it will be less than 5 (& that's fine). Copy and paste on your wall, that's all. Type "done" on this comment when you do it.

mackeire

Woho plaine flites booked

Depp

Life like an open book, if you don't travel, you don't turn the page

No problem with this usually, but its a different story when its accompanied by a selfie beside a pool in f*cking santa ponsa

De Bhál

Just out of curiosity... hit the Heart button if I have EVER made you smile, even once in your life. Then copy and paste and see how many people you've made smile. ‪#‎ChallengeAccepted‬

ratmouse

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Quote:
TIMMAE!!!!!

Had the exact same picture in my mind when reading that!

von Smallhausen

[font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]A joke off a business sending people out freezing cold food ye dirty basterds and manager hasnt even got d balls ta talk ta me on d phone had to trow my food in the bin ye will give my money back tommorow ye dirty scumy c*nts taken peoples hard earned money and giving them ****e in return[/font]

[font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]My 10 year old and her 3 friends went into your restaurant today for a treat and they were charged 25 euro for the munchbox that is 15 euro to take away...and wouldn't even give them the can that comes with the meal ..No wonder your restaurant is always empty lately when you can do this to a couple of 10 year olds...is business really that bad that you have to charge kids extortionate prices.....I will not be a customer of yours in the future.....not impressed[/font] [font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]I will be going to the [named restaurant] in future...I recommend everyone else do the same[/font]

Two complaints on a Chinese Restaurant both within an hour of one another. The first one is hilarious.

sligojoek

Had they no microwave?

Potential Underachiever

sligojoek wrote: »

Had they no microwave?

Should not be needed in fairness. Obviously the guy has gone miles over board with his complaint though.

P.s I'd love to be a fly on the wall when he goes in to get his money back!

The Princess Bride

well their you have it passed leving cert got a level 8 and level 7 offer cao well now who says your fcuked if you drop out of school#schooldropoutsarentallthick

No comment.

thesandeman

Danny_B wrote: »

Two complaints on a Chinese Restaurant both within an hour of one another. The first one is hilarious.

The last few lines (I was going to say paragraph but I can't figure out where it begins and ends) of the second one is better.
S/He moans about the place and then says "I will be going to **""** in future" and recommends everyone else to do the same!

via4

One of the girls on my fb posting literally every second of her holiday in Spain I feel like I'm on the holiday. Bear in mind it's all to make the ex jealous but it's kind of doing the opposite affect I think constantly being on Facebook when your on your holidays Is a bit pathetic the whole holiday is a dig at the ex

endacl

Bet it's a crap and unimaginative package job that her ex could pick up for a couple of hundred if he could be bothered?

via4

They were originally supposed to go together but he was being a bold boy

benjamin d

via4 wrote: »

They were originally supposed to go together but he was being a bold boy

Is she on her own? I respect that at least, don't waste a good hol!

thesandeman

via4 wrote: »

They were originally supposed to go together but he was being a bold boy

Are you him?

via4

No I'm a girl sorry to disappoint ha

eamonnq

via4 wrote: »

No I'm a girl sorry to disappoint ha

A girl on the internet ? What next??!!! :eek:

sligojoek

eamonnq wrote: »

A girl on the internet ? What next??!!! :eek:

They'll be wearing trousers and drinking pints next.

eamonnq

sligojoek wrote: »

They'll be wearing trousers and drinking pints next.

I thought I saw one driving a van this morning, but it was a bloke with long hair (and a beard!!).

yerwanthere123

Keeping things classy

***STOLEN*** this is mainly towards people in the ballincollig and cork city area, Storm is my daughters mams American Akita, he is 4 year's old and a very laid back friendly dog, around 12 last night he was noticed missing, the back gate was opened and he was gone, we think the woman beater scumbag ex has something to do with his disappearance as he attempted something similar before,now all of a sudden he is back out of prison around the place again and windows wher broke and storm has dissappeared,unfortunately I can not kill this evil c*nt because i have a daughter who needs me.she is very fond of storm and served as a friend and companion to her,please keep yer eyes open for him he is a timid dog and a big old baby he will be frightened, please watch out for him and share.

Captain Flaps

Eh, I completely understand the sentiment if this ex has actually done something to the dog.

Sittingpretty

What's this "Challenge accepted" that I see all over FB this morning accompanied by duck face selfies?

dee_mc

Sittingpretty wrote:

What's this "Challenge accepted" that I see all over FB this morning accompanied by duck face selfies?

I have a few 'challenge accepted' ones with normal selfies (not that selfies are 'normal' in any real or traditional sense of the word) and they're nominating people to join the challenged ... oops, I mean 'challenge'...