Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

AndrewJRenko

clairewithani wrote: »

WTF?

jmdy enhalls???

And 'maralon baby'?

mfceiling

fussyonion wrote: »

The posts below were also accompanied by a video of the poor child, struggling to breathe, in hospital.
Is nothing sacred anymore?

Anyway, here you go:

"I know yous r alrdy praying for r NAME WITHHELD but she tuk a bad turn last night she's ok annow she's in a stapel conitition but if you could just keep your prayers up she really needs them and help of Jesus Mary Joseph and or lord she will cum around and get even the sliest better any change is better tan what she is going true so right now please everyone please I am begging you to pray NAME WITHHELD she's only a mount old"

COMMENT:

"Its a sin the poor infant my jmdy enhalls praying for her"

Few hours later:

"Me maralon baby NAME WITHHELD is in a coma now the doctors had to drain her lungz cuz she has numonia now aswell then she's going to be moved to a difrrnt hospital shortly God help her"

"R NAME WITHHELD is getting transferred to the middle of CITY NAME WITHHELD and put on a life support machine please everybody pray and shares so wee will get more ppl praying poor baby is getting torcherd"

COMMENT: "Me n NAME WITHHELD are cumin later were snaeke in chicken-balls u must be starved gbh"

Not having a go here but are they travellers? The literacy is poor but phonetically it sounds like travellers having a conversation.

Yeah_Right

Gunslinger92 wrote: »

Am I bad person for laughing at that? The bit about chicken balls especially... :pac:

Yes you are. And so am I. If I get to Hell first, I'll save you spot in the VIP section

fussyonion

mfceiling wrote: »

Not having a go here but are they travellers? The literacy is poor but phonetically it sounds like travellers having a conversation.

I believe so.

anewme

Shannon757 wrote: »

Do you know the same person?

I did laugh when I read it.

Probably not the same person....just the same type of person!

somesoldiers

clairewithani wrote: »

WTF?

My jmdy enhalls praying??

Ok, so before I tackle today's Times Jumbo cryptic I think this bit means "and all is" so "my jimmy and all are praying for"?

AndrewJRenko

somesoldiers wrote: »

Ok, so before I tackle today's Times Jumbo cryptic I think this bit means "and all is" so "my jimmy and all are praying for"?

Seeing as you're on a roll, how about "maralon baby"?

somesoldiers

AndrewJRenko wrote: »

Seeing as you're on a roll, how about "maralon baby"?

Sorry can't figure out that bit

Gunslinger92

Yeah_Right wrote: »

Yes you are. And so am I. If I get to Hell first, I'll save you spot in the VIP section

You've got yourself a deal my friend

Grayson

somesoldiers wrote: »

Ok, so before I tackle today's Times Jumbo cryptic I think this bit means "and all is" so "my jimmy and all are praying for"?

what did "gbh" mean?

Ted_YNWA

grievous bodily harm, what they did to the English language.

Typer Monkey

Grayson wrote: »

what did "gbh" mean?

God bless her..common abbreviation used by travelling folk

HellSquirrel

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C1v5mybUcAAu2_W.jpg

It's a bit squinty to read, but well worth it. Jesus H. (It does get a bit smug towards the end, but at the same time, he really walked into that with both feet!)

coolhull

"Based on the teaching of a Chinese Feng Shui Master :
2017 will be an unusual year.
February will have 4 Sundays, 4 Mondays, 4 Tuesdays, 4 Wednesdays 4 Thursday, 4 Fridays and 4 Saturdays. This won't happen again for another 823 years.
If you share this information with 7 members of your friends and groups, and tell them to share with their friends, money will come to you within days. "

Well, strangely the 'Chinese Feng Shui Master' got it wrong. Every February has four of those days.
But we shouldn't let a few facts get in the way of 'like' fishing

team_actimel

Haha u tink ur great on the phone mouthing at me saying ul do tis nd do tat ha ha don't think so lad ur nothing but a 2 faced c__t u wouldnt say wat u said 2 me on the phone to my face ya little geebag just wait and c wen i get my hands on u youl be sorry..... KARMA I love it

MonkstownHoop

I generally ignore those who try and tell us what experts they are on politics, especially US politics, must not have much going on in their lives.

kitten_k

Dear everybody, please don't take this the wrong way but Iwould appreciate not being sent anymore chain messages through Messenger. Not only do they take up a lot of time, they eat up data. So I have decided from now on I will not forward any of them since many can carry Trojan horse malware as attachments, resulting in rapid widespread infections. I just learned this so I'm going to be more careful, hope you will be too! Thank You for understanding!
Please feel free to copy and paste as I did.
Please do not click to share.
I also NEVER type Amen to posts, no matter how heartbreaking the post is as they are all scam Pictures/Stories ......Thanks

team_actimel

kitten_k wrote: »

Dear everybody, please don't take this the wrong way but Iwould appreciate not being sent anymore chain messages through Messenger. Not only do they take up a lot of time, they eat up data. So I have decided from now on I will not forward any of them since many can carry Trojan horse malware as attachments, resulting in rapid widespread infections. I just learned this so I'm going to be more careful, hope you will be too! Thank You for understanding!
Please feel free to copy and paste as I did.
Please do not click to share.
I also NEVER type Amen to posts, no matter how heartbreaking the post is as they are all scam Pictures/Stories ......Thanks

AMEN

rawn

In the comments section under an article about U2 tickets selling out, dunno why it made me giggle!

"All this crap with u2 why feckers don't pay proper tax here and bono well is a twat"

PaddyWilliams

Grayson wrote: »

what did "gbh" mean?

God bless her?

razorblunt

There's a guy I know harmless enough but seems to live on FB, he's 40 odd, married, with kids and all that, but it seems him and his friends are very "Facebook expressive" if that's a thing. They always seem to be Vaguebooking and threatening deletes and so on.

Now one of his sons friends is really ill with a form of cancer, it really does seem unclear if it's terminal or not, which is obviously quite sad. The kid's parents are "running" his FB, keeping friends up to date and all that I guess, since Xmas though they've posted:

1. The kid is now in ICU and unlikely to make it through the night. Only for the kid to be discharged the next morning and log into FB saying the stay was a success in hospital and was wondering why there was fuss on his timeline (he wasn't allowed a phone on the ward)

2. Last weekend overnight on the Friday they'd posted he's past away during the night. Which naturally can be quite upsetting. This wasn't true, again he was admitted but was apparently cognitive and awake the next day.

Something is very strange with the whole thing. Even to the extent that the guy I know and his friends have turned this around to be about them "I'm not well" etc etc. Now dragging the parent(s) over the coals is one thing but the whole thing is mad. At the center of it all though is a clearly unwell kid.

BattleCorp

razorblunt wrote: »

2. Last weekend overnight on the Friday they'd posted he's past away during the night. Which naturally can be quite upsetting. This wasn't true, again he was admitted but was apparently cognitive and awake the next day.

Let me get this clear. They posted that their son had died during the night when he didn't actually die during the night. Or at any other time for that matter.

What the actual Fuuck. :eek:

razorblunt

BattleCorp wrote: »

Let me get this clear. They posted that their son had died during the night when he didn't actually die during the night. Or at any other time for that matter.

What the actual Fuuck. :eek:

Yeah, that's exactly what I can gather from it all. It's not clear who's actually posting the updates but it's an absolute mess it would seem.

Apparently there wasn't any time over that night where he was in "danger" of passing away.

BattleCorp

razorblunt wrote: »

Yeah, that's exactly what I can gather from it all. It's not clear who's actually posting the updates but it's an absolute mess it would seem.

Apparently there wasn't any time over that night where he was in "danger" of passing away.

Even if there was a time that he might die, you'd half expect that they would spend time in hospital with their son instead of writing lies on the Facebook page.

coolhull

BattleCorp wrote: »

Even if there was a time that he might die, you'd half expect that they would spend time in hospital with their son instead of writing lies on the Facebook page.

Or even writing the truth. If your child is ill in hospital, look after him, let your Facebook 'friends' wait.

Big Nasty

These videos on the Lad Bible / Viral Thread / Front Magazine's facebook pages of staged boyfriend / girlfriend pranks are really doing my tits in right now. You know the one with the tuna steak or large pizza with 8 / 12 slices? Same dude now has some other slapper full of silicone and botox that farts. Funny thing is they're fookin minted from it. Fookin Star reader bottom feeders. :mad:

PopePalpatine

'Member when Front Magazine was a proper "lads' mag" with boobs? I 'member!

mackeire

I think I've read this on fb and heard it a million times..oh god I look rotten in that picture...with the responses usually sounding like this..no way hun you look stunning or you look great girl. Well take it from me if you think you look cat then your right...if you were buying a car and it had no wheels and the windows were smashed and your mate said...looks great hun, you would tell them to go get their eyes tested..moral of the story. If you think your head looks like a bag of spanners, don't listen to someone who doesn't have a car..or something like that

mackeire

Today marks six months without drinking a drop of alcohol or any kind of wine! six months of eating seven fruit and veg a day, drinking 10 glasses of water, no carbs and no red meat, with lots of 8 hr sleeps. The change in my body has been fantastic! I feel great, I lost weight and my way of thinking is very positive! I'm looking to keep this up because I choose to! No alcohol, eat only healthy foods, get lots of sleep and above all, an hour of exercise every day!

I don't know whose status this is, but I was so happy for them, I copied and pasted it !! 😉

infogiver

coolhull wrote: »

Or even writing the truth. If your child is ill in hospital, look after him, let your Facebook 'friends' wait.

It's possible that the Facebook updater is in reality a sibling resentful of all the attention the sick child is getting