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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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  • Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭gutenberg


    So a friend of a friend is apparently making an appearance on First Dates Ireland tonight, so my timeline is clogged up with statuses about it from my friends who also know the First Dater. The First Dater has 'contributed' several statuses to this thread, so it's been alternately hilarious/horrifying...


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,722 ✭✭✭posturingpat


    gutenberg wrote: »
    So a friend of a friend is apparently making an appearance on First Dates Ireland tonight, so my timeline is clogged up with statuses about it from my friends who also know the First Dater. The First Dater has 'contributed' several statuses to this thread, so it's been alternately hilarious/horrifying...

    The lad that's mad for ass by any chance?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    "Cum home to find out d lady sent d men bak to pick up me green bins,happy days😛"

    Thanks for letting us all know?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 785 ✭✭✭team_actimel


    Love tis girl shes after going threw a lot shes aloud b happy now its no1s business wat she does or who shes with only her own dont be worrying bout other people let dem talk ur derverse 2 be happy and let people hate u ur the better 1 so keep tat head high chick love you baby girl xxx


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭mackeire


    Love tis girl shes after going threw a lot shes aloud b happy now its no1s business wat she does or who shes with only her own dont be worrying bout other people let dem talk ur derverse 2 be happy and let people hate u ur the better 1 so keep tat head high chick love you baby girl xxx

    Everyone does DERVERSE to be happy!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,548 ✭✭✭The White Feather


    On a friends FB status

    "...Right, here we go. Lets play an emotional blackmail game..Let's see how many people read this and care about me...
    Will someone please come clean my house? If you love me or care about me AT ALL you will.. if you don't come clean my house and cook me breakfast I will take it that you hate me. Scroll past if you are a heartless asshole.. come clean my house cook me breakfast and pick me up a coffee on the way if you are not..
    Let's see how many people scroll....."

    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    On a friends FB status

    "...Right, here we go. Lets play an emotional blackmail game..Let's see how many people read this and care about me...
    Will someone please come clean my house? If you love me or care about me AT ALL you will.. if you don't come clean my house and cook me breakfast I will take it that you hate me. Scroll past if you are a heartless asshole.. come clean my house cook me breakfast and pick me up a coffee on the way if you are not..
    Let's see how many people scroll....."

    :rolleyes:

    I'm proud to be one of those heartless assh*les


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 788 ✭✭✭Sound Bite


    Luv it - it's mass of (she means massive!)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    On a friends FB status

    "...Right, here we go. Lets play an emotional blackmail game..Let's see how many people read this and care about me...
    Will someone please come clean my house? If you love me or care about me AT ALL you will.. if you don't come clean my house and cook me breakfast I will take it that you hate me. Scroll past if you are a heartless asshole.. come clean my house cook me breakfast and pick me up a coffee on the way if you are not..
    Let's see how many people scroll....."

    :rolleyes:

    I don't know if you think that's serious from the rolleyes but I'd have thought it was a pretty obvious pisstake of all those passive aggressive 'let's see who really cares' posts going around at the moment.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,510 ✭✭✭nikpmup


    Oh, fcuk off.


    Saw one of my ex's today.. LAWD she was looking good .. She introduced me to her boyfriend which is her fiancé ðŸ’now.. He shook my hand & said thank you.. I'm like for what?? He said "If you & her never broke up I would have never found my soulmate".. I told him "Yea I was a fool & I ****ed up big time but I'm glad she found someone that really makes her happy".. Fellas if u got a good woman that's REALLY there for u & not for what u have.. Cherish her & treat her like the Queen 👸🽠she is.. Or someone else will 💯


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,947 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    I have to say I don't really mind that one.

    Bit cheesy and cringey but made me smile all the same.

    Obviously going soft in my old age.


  • Registered Users Posts: 28,979 ✭✭✭✭AndrewJRenko


    From a distant cousin:
    Got this Xmas card returned from my one and only brother. Apparently he has moved but does not want me to know. Sad - not how we were brought up. Life is short.

    followed by in the comments;
    No. My niece has told me he does not want to give me his address - sad��

    followed by down below;
    I'm the niece that passed this message on from my Dad. Making this public was not kind, and does not represent the extent of the situation. I'm disappointed that you've done this. The context, as is often the case, is complicated. If you (or your friends) think that this event has transpired in a vacuum, you (and they) are wrong. These types of comments, however, do nothing to keep the next generation out of these issues, in spite of our best efforts. If you have any issues please contact me directly and avoid these public displays.

    Burn...


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,977 ✭✭✭893bet


    nikpmup wrote: »
    Oh, fcuk off.


    Saw one of my ex's today.. LAWD she was looking good .. She introduced me to her boyfriend which is her fiancé ðŸ’now.. He shook my hand & said thank you.. I'm like for what?? He said "If you & her never broke up I would have never found my soulmate".. I told him "Yea I was a fool & I ****ed up big time but I'm glad she found someone that really makes her happy".. Fellas if u got a good woman that's REALLY there for u & not for what u have.. Cherish her & treat her like the Queen 👸🽠she is.. Or someone else will 💯

    Did this happen in real life or a Hollywood movie? I'd say the latter.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,947 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    893bet wrote: »
    Did this happen in real life or a Hollywood movie? I'd say the latter.

    It reads like a monologue from Forrest Gump allright!


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,121 Mod ✭✭✭✭pc7


    That niece gives me hope!


  • Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭aoh


    This popped up for me today:

    Our baby is finally home����xx Our baby's back home where she belongs

    Together with a photo of a coffin! On reading the comments, I realised it was their PET, not actually their baby


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,977 ✭✭✭893bet


    aoh wrote: »
    This popped up for me today:

    Our baby is finally home����xx Our baby's back home where she belongs

    Together with a photo of a coffin! On reading the comments, I realised it was their PET, not actually their baby

    What's the coffin like? Are we talking cardboard box from previous Amazon purchase or custom for occasion?


  • Registered Users Posts: 148 ✭✭aoh


    893bet wrote: »
    What's the coffin like? Are we talking cardboard box from previous Amazon purchase or custom for occasion?

    Wooden with a brass plaque - looks genuinely like a "proper" coffin!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,505 ✭✭✭infogiver


    From a distant cousin:



    followed by in the comments;



    followed by down below;



    Burn...

    I'm an in-law of a family, one or two of whom would really really like that all the many family rows be played out on Facebook
    Despite extreme provocation I refuse to respond in any way even though the temptation to burn is overwhelming
    This niece should have just unfollowed or blocked and refuse to engage any further
    Life is, indeed, too short


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,087 ✭✭✭HellSquirrel


    infogiver wrote: »
    I'm an in-law of a family, one or two of whom would really really like that all the many family rows be played out on Facebook
    Despite extreme provocation I refuse to respond in any way even though the temptation to burn is overwhelming
    This niece should have just unfollowed or blocked and refuse to engage any further
    Life is, indeed, too short

    While they should, at least this absolutely puts the person in their place. Future attempts can be blocked, but this one should probably put a spoke in her wheel when it comes to airing dirty family laundry in public :D


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  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    anewme wrote: »
    A gang of large people ate dinner and legged it from a restaurant. This is a post defending them.

    Yous are all sick slagging them the bleeding hack of yous and yous are all hopping on the bandwaggon slagging them about there weight Fairplay to them hope they had the biggest desert going bleeding dopes gagging for the reward to find them they were probably hungry now your trying to embarass them

    What does ''gagging for the reward to find them'' mean?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,505 ✭✭✭infogiver


    What does ''gagging for the reward to find them'' mean?

    I think the restaurant may have offered some kind of inducement to anyone who could identify the persons who walked out and "forgot" to pay for a meal in a restaurant in Tallaght.
    This poster is stating that in her opinion they were entitled to dine for free because....well....no reason, and furthermore, the only reason people are sympathetic with the restaurant is in the hope that they will get the reward.
    Because, like, everybody knows that you shouldn't have to pay for food in a restaurant, don't they?
    Incidentally, in the heel of the hunt, the families of the aforementioned "diners" identified themselves, apologised and paid for the food.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,047 ✭✭✭Truckermal


    I see people sharing the death of their loved ones/family on FB now so people can sympathise in the comments. :eek:


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    infogiver wrote: »
    I think the restaurant may have offered some kind of inducement to anyone who could identify the persons who walked out and "forgot" to pay for a meal in a restaurant in Tallaght.
    This poster is stating that in her opinion they were entitled to dine for free because....well....no reason, and furthermore, the only reason people are sympathetic with the restaurant is in the hope that they will get the reward.
    Because, like, everybody knows that you shouldn't have to pay for food in a restaurant, don't they?
    Incidentally, in the heel of the hunt, the families of the aforementioned "diners" identified themselves, apologised and paid for the food.

    Ahhh. It's all fallen into place. I couldn't make head nor tails...


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    aoh wrote: »
    This popped up for me today:

    Our baby is finally home����xx Our baby's back home where she belongs

    Together with a photo of a coffin! On reading the comments, I realised it was their PET, not actually their baby

    Why is dead where the pet belongs?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    Check in at hospital
    "Great way t spend a monday mornin"
    Cue sad face emoji responses and the r u ok hun brigade.
    But it's not her it's her mother and it's actually an appointment.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 785 ✭✭✭team_actimel


    Checked in at hospital.
    Comment: wat da heck are you ok?
    OP replies: Yea just went in for a check up not a bother on me xxxx


  • Registered Users Posts: 291 ✭✭via4


    Noticing on fb a lot how many girls make it public that they have had miscarriages. I feel that is so private but each to their own.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,534 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    via4 wrote: »
    Noticing on fb a lot how many girls make it public that they have had miscarriages. I feel that is so private but each to their own.

    I had an ectopic pregnancy and announced it on Facebook. I was very sore after the operation and didn't want people to speculate about why I wasn't out and about or if they saw me and came to the wrong conclusion as to why I wasn't able to walk properly.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,548 ✭✭✭The White Feather


    This was put up on a friends fb. Pure attention seeking!
    I may have just lost my job... Things you do when you're sick and fatigued...
    Cue loads of comments like are you ok? What happened? Call me!

    That status was left up for ages to get loads of comments so the attention seeking worked! Then the next FB status to calm things down!
    I'm thinking that there's a bit of confusion with my last post. I did not get fired from my job because I'm sick and fatigued. When you are sick and fatigued you tend to make mistakes. And after my last shift I thought I made a mistake that would have cost me my job. And I was in a position that I couldn't do anything about it. Turns out that my autopilot is in good condition and I didn't make the mistake I thought I did. So, I go back to work per usual come Thursday! In my defence I did post "I may have..." not 'I lost...' Again you all are so awesome for thinking of me. Especially with all the political strife that needs tending too.


This discussion has been closed.
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