Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

rawn

Potential Underachiever wrote:

That's mildly amusing and I presume a frape?

Most definitely not a frape, he talks like that in person too, he's as myad as bag a shpiders

Ray37

A picture of 'share if you think tv licenses should be scrapped', posted by a single mother who has never worked in her life, and is on the dole

XxMCRxBabyxX

I've previously posted about the "perfect wife" I have to deal with on Facebook. Well now she's gotten truly sanctimonious:

In the last several months I've had several opportunities for honesty: store not charging me for an item and realizing it as I look at the receipt back home, the price being incorrect, duplicate orders being sent to us at the companies fault, etc.

Dealing with these mistakes is costly: it costs effort, time, energy and willingness.

And while my heart can be grumbly at the inconveniences, I'm grateful and humbled by the opportunity to represent Jesus in these situations.

Today I called Amazon about an order from over a month ago, they had given us a duplicate of a small item. A small-only-costs-three-dollars-item: but we didn't pay for it.

Amazon customer service asked why I was calling, I told them. The gentleman's response: "Oh wow!" (pause) "You are SO honest!" with utter genuineness and disbelief. I responded: "I am a Christian. I believe in being honest." He paused and you could hear the smile in his voice: "For your honesty, you can go ahead and keep the item." I asked him if he was sure. He insisted. There was a hint of amusement in his voice as if he thought it funny that someone would call about a $3 item that Amazon wouldn't bother with returning anyway . . .

I pray that he doesn't forget. I pray that whether or not he is a Christian, he remembers that a Christian should behave differently than the world, not to make a statement but because we love and obey Jesus. Honesty is something that comes from Jesus. What an honour to reflect Him, even over a three-dollar-six-inch stainless steel ruler.

#thegospel #liveit #honesty #reallife #obedience #beintentional

Lady Haywire

One of those buy & sell pages but I just can't stop laughing at the poor brdes hoops. I know it's the correct word for the rings on the dresses but

Beautifuly detailed wedding dress with crown and bokay and 4 big bridesmades dresses with 4 matching flower girl dresses with 8 big head pieces to match with 8 red bokays everything like new bride changed after 2 hours and bridesmades changed strate away all dresses were made to my liking 2 hoops belonging to bride included along with all the bridesmade and flower girls hoops iswel they were all new ...

Ray37

Lady Haywire wrote: »

One of those buy & sell pages but I just can't stop laughing at the poor brdes hoops. I know it's the correct word for the rings on the dresses but

Beautifuly detailed wedding dress with crown and bokay and 4 big bridesmades dresses with 4 matching flower girl dresses with 8 big head pieces to match with 8 red bokays everything like new bride changed after 2 hours and bridesmades changed strate away all dresses were made to my liking 2 hoops belonging to bride included along with all the bridesmade and flower girls hoops iswel they were all new ...

'Bokay'... is that bouquet???

Lady Haywire

Ray37 wrote: »

'Bokay'... is that bouquet???

Yep!

sligojoek

Ray37 wrote: »

'Bokay'... is that bouquet???

The lady of the house speaking.

Widdershins

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I've previously posted about the "perfect wife" I have to deal with on Facebook. Well now she's gotten truly sanctimonious:

The hint of amusement might have been there for a different reason

KKkitty

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I've previously posted about the "perfect wife" I have to deal with on Facebook. Well now she's gotten truly sanctimonious:

Ah sweet Jesus!! Pun intended. Where's my sick bucket?

snowflaker

clairewithani wrote: »

First time I read it I thought it said MICKEY. I am either dyslexic, have a one-track-mind or both...:D

Her Minky and the stain, stain, stain stain...

inforfun

KKkitty wrote: »

Ah sweet Jesus!! Pun intended. Where's my sick bucket?

Sick bokay.

ftfy

kitten_k

"Why am I a good mum?" Put this as your status and see what people say about you

clairewithani

kitten_k wrote: »

"Why am I a good mum?" Put this as your status and see what people say about you

I would never tempt fate by putting that up. Be afraid my friends would be honest.

kunst nugget

kitten_k wrote: »

"Why am I a good mum?" Put this as your status and see what people say about you

Because you let all the neighbourhood kids knacker drink in your house and you've thought your son's friends in the 'ways of love'…

That's what I'd put up if I saw that.

optogirl

Any1 kno where I can get dis cake topper?



Christ. What a lovely message for your fiancee, family & friends. I DRUG him up de aisle I did

hullaballoo

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

I've previously posted about the "perfect wife" I have to deal with on Facebook. Well now she's gotten truly sanctimonious:

I know this is nerdy but the improper use of colons and hyphens (not to mention that elipse...) really makes that extra special.

It takes a special kind of condescending cnut to use formal grammar and syntax tools on Facebook in the first place.

Getting the use of absolutely every one of them wrong is priceless.

infogiver

mackeire wrote: »

Maybe I'm missing something here but would it not be cheaper to maintain a decent car instead of spending 400 on a ****box every few months?

That would involve forward planning, putting money aside for motor tax, nct, tyres etc etc so no.
It would be a case of "child benefit day tomorrow I'm changing the car".

Liam McPoyle

Lady Haywire wrote: »

One of those buy & sell pages but I just can't stop laughing at the poor brdes hoops. I know it's the correct word for the rings on the dresses but

gutenberg

This one pains me as it's from a good friend who I have huge respect for:

"Hiya �� can you put a ❤ on your FB wall, without comment, only a heart, then send this message to your women contacts. This is for women to remember its the week of breast cancer prevention! ❤ Check your boobies!!��������
Hold your finger down on the message and hit forward. X "

mayobumblebee

currently my feed is full of positivity posts that are as backhanded as a smack in the mouth. for example

I make no appologies for who i am. i have scars because i have a past. bla bla
followed by

xx hunxxx
xx hugsxx

...And Justice

" If dem príks and cnts tink I'm a prik dats dere problem dem cnts are cnuts an dat prik is a cnt. No cnt is goin to prik me after all that dem cnts and priks did.......ha ha. Dem priks and cnts are priks."

What?

coolhull

...And Justice wrote: »

" If dem príks and cnts tink I'm a prik dats dere problem dem cnts are cnuts an dat prik is a cnt. No cnt is goin to prik me after all that dem cnts and priks did.......ha ha. Dem priks and cnts are priks."

What?

He's getting kinda fond of those two little words, isn't he? And if he ever learns to spell them properly, there'll be no stopping him.

mackeire

Even facebook has copped in to all the nosey ****ers who use the site. Posts like this have them wetting themselves and getting little stiffies...dad sings and what wife did next will amaze you because she was born a man. ..and..soldier returns from Iraq and is greeted by dog with no tongue and smelly balls. When you nosey ****s open it and scroll through endless amounts of ****e you have no interest in, you then have to put up the following post...if you get a message from me asking me for pictures of you hiding your pet carrot in your lady tunnel, ignore it as I've been hacked. Ps if your really hacked you can no longer use your page. When you press the ( do you give xxxx permission to access your fb that's your mistake. The moral of the story is. When your building a snowman and he needs a nose remember your Buddy and her pet carrot

mayobumblebee

I'm deliten all dez peoples I dunt kno noisy f**kers snooping on me page so if I delete ya don't get offended


Two comments of" glad I made the cut " and "two rite xx"

Ted_YNWA

mayobumblebee wrote: »

I'm deliten all dez peoples I dunt kno noisy f**kers snooping on me page so if I delete ya don't get offended


Two comments of" glad I made the cut " and "two rite xx"

Would she not have added the snoopers in the first place?

sligojoek

mayobumblebee wrote: »

I'm deliten all dez peoples I dunt kno noisy f**kers snooping on me page so if I delete ya don't get offended


Two comments of" glad I made the cut " and "two rite xx"

Nothing worse than people making noise on FB

sligojoek

I don't know what to make of this.

Ray37

''[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]To all the unselfish mums out there, who trade sleep for dark circles, salon haircuts for apony tail, long baths for quick showers, late nights for early mornings, designer handbags for nappy bags and who wouldn't change a thing.[/font]
[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Let's see how many mums post this,[/font]
[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]who don't care about what they gave up and instead,[/font]
[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Love what they got in return. [/font]
[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Post if you love been a mum.''[/font]

[font=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]Apony...been... Jesus Christ. [/font]

...And Justice

sligojoek wrote: »

I don't know what to make of this.

Yeah this bitch is definitely a gee bag, so in other words, "I'll be taking wavin pipe, there'll be baby gravy splashing around the place and I won't be protected...but I'll kill it afterwards".

She could just use a rubber ffs...

Is that what she means?

Widdershins

...And Justice wrote: »

taking wavin pipe

:eek: