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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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  • Registered Users Posts: 291 ✭✭via4


    mackeire wrote: »
    When you put up.pictures of kids on.Facebook please remember...nobody sees what you see. How many times have you felt obliged to.just hit like even though you hardly looked at the picture. Well it's the same for others. I've never seen a pic of a new born baby and went ah he's gorgeous and anyone who has is a liar. They look like feckin raisins with eyes. Some poor kids are photographed that much that they even smile now when they are in.pain or having a crap. Worse still when the poor little ****ers grow up and ask....mammy why is there no photos of me when I was a child....is it because I was ugly. Well that's one reason buddy but the main reason is I lost the phone with all the pics in.it . Now **** off smiling you just had three teeth pulled. Jimmy had his first piss on the toilet...snap snap. Jeremy had his first wet dream and destroyed the new duvet ..snap snap. Aine put her first full sentence together..will you ever **** off with that camera I'm trying to have a ****e here. Ps grandkids are different..grandparents show other grandparents pics of the kids because we all know we ****ed up the first time..and NO this isn't about you

    Sorry I know this is from a month ago but I'm laughing my head off at raisins with eyes


  • Registered Users Posts: 291 ✭✭via4


    A guy on my friends list I have never seen someone get into so many relationships. He will be with someone for a few months then it after it goes belly up will be single for a few weeks and in that time will put up things slagging women off then praising them slagging them off again. Then out of nowhere will be in a relationship with some random girl all loved up and the cycle repeats itself.
    I get people can have different partners throughout their lives but the amount of gfs it's like he will be in a relationship just for the sake of it.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,119 Mod ✭✭✭✭pc7


    Fussy your posts are as identifiable as Shakespeare! You read the post and then scroll back up because you know it has to be Fussy Onion. Bravo sir that's one of your finest yet anal.


  • Site Banned Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Ralf and Florian


    And in 10days wat r all da haters in boxing world have ta say fr there selves den haha


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,844 ✭✭✭✭somesoldiers


    BuboBubo wrote: »
    I chabby sheeked my table.

    (Posted in an interior design group on FB)

    :(


    Are you FB friends with Mr Spooner?


    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Archibald_Spooner


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  • Registered Users Posts: 13,844 ✭✭✭✭somesoldiers


    via4 wrote: »
    A guy on my friends list I have never seen someone get into so many relationships. He will be with someone for a few months then it after it goes belly up will be single for a few weeks and in that time will put up things slagging women off then praising them slagging them off again. Then out of nowhere will be in a relationship with some random girl all loved up and the cycle repeats itself.
    I get people can have different partners throughout their lives but the amount of gfs it's like he will be in a relationship just for the sake of it.

    is it Russell Brand?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 785 ✭✭✭team_actimel


    Time 2 get a wee woman and wise up and settle down me thinks


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 336 ✭✭Benildus


    Not one of our usual illiterate skangers, but instead a self-obsessed new age moron.
    "It's been so damn good to take some time out and reassess things. Strip things back to the basics. It's so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, the obligation, the "priorities" (by the way that word only has only existed in the plural form since the 1900's, before that we only the word priority), the "shoulds" etc. The reality is we're living in the age of opportunity which also means we're living in the age of distraction and our hyperconnected world can present us with bright shiny new distractions disguised as opportunities on the daily.
    Take the time and space to get clear on what's important to you. Not your parents, not your friends, not societies expectations. It's time to give obligation and expectation a big 1f595_1f3fc.png🖕🏼and start intentionally working towards what's really important to us."
    "The single most important thing we can do for our health and wellbeing is live in alignment with our Soul.
    I know that can sound a bit airy fairy and seem like a throw away comment. But it's the truth. Our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing is a reflection of how closely the life we're living is aligned with the life we're desiring at our core. Not according to family or societies expectations, but according to our own.
    We've all got a gap between the life we've created and the life our Soul desires to be living. The bigger the gap, the more stress we'll experience.
    The first step to closing the gap between how we're currently feeling in our work, in our bodies, in our relationships and how we really want to feel is bringing awareness to the fact that the gap exists and developing an understanding what contributes to it.
    Once we have awareness, we have choice. Learn the rules, play the game. It's time to start closing that gap."
    "Self awareness and emotional intelligence are two of the most important qualities for ongoing success in business and fulfilment in relationships. They can often be thought of as qualities that you either have, or you don't have. This simply isn't the case. Both can be learnt and developed, once we have a framework for what exactly they are. Unless we were provided with an environment where objective self reflection and awareness was encouraged and a healthy relationship with our emotions was cultivated (all of our emotions: love, fear, anger, sadness, joy, sexual feelings being the 6 core emotions we'll look at - others often stem from a combination of these core emotions) then we won't have developed our full potential in these areas and there will be a gap between how we currently feel within our relationships, work and health and how we KNOW we're suppose to feel.
    I'm really passionate about demystifying the complexities involved in creating this gap and helping people close it."
    This person uses a lot of words in their regular inane FB posts that don't really make sense when put together.


  • Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    "I'm really passionate about demystifying the complexities involved in creating this gap and helping people close it."

    I would be too, if only I knew what the fcuk he's talking about.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,202 ✭✭✭maximoose


    Sooo I've left the mobile phone world. I can be reached through human interaction

    Announced on Facebook
    facepalm.jpg


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 6,485 Mod ✭✭✭✭silvervixen84


    BuboBubo wrote: »
    I chabby sheeked my table.

    That would make a great Boards username - chabbysheek :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    "(Local Area page),,,,, nosey ppls page,,, thhey should not of put up photos of kids,,,, and the neck of ppl to comment on it,,, they must forget who they are,,,,,,, "

    Apparently this person is annoyed because someone put up photos of their kids and themselves allegedly stealing from a shop. They're annoyed this was posted and that people have commented thereon.
    The original post with the photos appear to have been taken down, but for some reason known best to themselves, the author has decided to draw further attention to their alleged crime by posting about it!


    Edited to add: they attended the School of Life and Hard Knocks and work as a Government artist. There may or may not be a word missing in the job description. I daren't ask.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,342 ✭✭✭seagull


    Government artist's model, perhaps? They have to learn how to do photofits somewhere.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    seagull wrote: »
    Government artist's model, perhaps? They have to learn how to do photofits somewhere.

    I was thinking "con" might be it


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,647 ✭✭✭✭El Weirdo


    seagull wrote: »
    Government artist's model, perhaps? They have to learn how to do photofits somewhere.

    Government artist, i.e. "drawing" the dole.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,439 ✭✭✭tupenny


    A check in to the mater an hour ago. Ffs

    Best part is no1 has commented asking "what's wrong hun"


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,597 ✭✭✭emeldc


    tupenny wrote: »
    A check in to the mater an hour ago. Ffs

    Best part is no1 has commented asking "what's wrong hun"

    Could be the wan that burned the hole off herself with the spice box :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 16 Spoopy


    "Pulled legamints in me knee 👊"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    BuboBubo wrote: »
    I chabby sheeked my table.

    (Posted in an interior design group on FB)

    :(

    That's just using your wrong hand to paint something, isn't it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 898 ✭✭✭Schwanz


    "Seen ya in tesco earlier and walked on knowin ya seen me, doesn't buther me hun"

    To no one in particular. *Shakes Head*


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  • Registered Users Posts: 7,708 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    What do zombies eat when they have bad breath?
    Spoopy wrote: »
    legamints


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,708 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    What does the cannibal bbq restaurant sell between two slices of sourdough?
    Spoopy wrote: »
    "Pulled legamints "


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,305 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    I've finally got one!

    "Traffic was horrendous this morning as I neared the office. Knowing I would be a few minutes late anyway I opted to pull into the Starbucks drive-thru at Washington and Priest. There were more people milling about than usual, but I thought nothing of it until after I placed my drink order and advanced my car to the next space in line. With my window still down I could hear the sound of a large airplane and without even a second thought I followed my instinct which compelled me to get out of my car and look to the heavens above along with all the others who I now know had been waiting just to see it.
    The amazing realization of absolute freedom came over me as I watched Air Force One carrying our President to his next destination. Whether you love him or hate him or are completely apathetic is not the point.
    In this country, I am afforded the freedom to drive myself in my own car and to be gainfully employed and I am allowed to spend my money anyway I choose even if it is too damn much for a cup of coffee! But we live in the land of the free because of the brave, and I am grateful!"

    I don't live in the land of the free, but I have a job, own a car, and am free to spend as much of my hard earned cash on Starbucks coffee as I like. What am I missing?


  • Registered Users Posts: 913 ✭✭✭Dramatik


    "...can you let's me know or if you see her ask her to get in touch with use please shear it you don't mind xx"

    "2 All my Sister.s and briter i wont you all 2 no i love you 5 sosososo much and wehis we can all be 2gater"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,835 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    "Where can I get (a certain specific toy)? The (brand named) shop only carries a version that isn't suitable
    Person 2: try ebay or Amazon.
    Person 1: ah brilliant. Thanks very much.
    I'm going to assume that Person 1 wasn't being sarcastic and actually hadn't thought to go on/heard of ebay or amazon. And if they hadn't: why not?!?!


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,313 ✭✭✭Ankhyu


    "Where can I get (a certain specific toy)? The (brand named) shop only carries a version that isn't suitable
    Person 2: try ebay or Amazon.
    Person 1: ah brilliant. Thanks very much.
    I'm going to assume that Person 1 wasn't being sarcastic and actually hadn't thought to go on/heard of ebay or amazon. And if they hadn't: why not?!?!

    There's a girl I went to primary school with who is ALWAYS posting this crap on facebook. It's like she's never heard of google


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,979 ✭✭✭optogirl


    Ankhyu wrote: »
    There's a girl I went to primary school with who is ALWAYS posting this crap on facebook. It's like she's never heard of google

    One of the Irish forums for weddings is full of this shi*

    'Anyone know where I can get my make-up done for wedding? August 2019'

    :confused:


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,119 ✭✭✭Gravelly


    Ankhyu wrote: »
    There's a girl I went to primary school with who is ALWAYS posting this crap on facebook. It's like she's never heard of google

    There's one of those local information pages for my area and I regularly read it just for the laugh:

    "Anyone know what time Aldi is open till 2nite"
    Try fûcking googling it - it's literally the first result

    "Anyone know where I can get a new tyre for my car on Saturday"
    Again with the fûcking Google

    "Can I just walk in to apply for my licence or do I need an appointment"
    Google

    "What's the name of the street that Penny's is on"
    Google

    "Anyone have the no. for XXXXXX the vet?"
    Jesus Christ woman, Google the fûcker, he has a website with his number right at the top

    They could just change the name of the group to "Google it you Fûcking Numpty" and everybody's problem would be solved.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,305 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Gravelly wrote: »
    There's one of those local information pages for my area and I regularly read it just for the laugh:

    "Anyone know what time Aldi is open till 2nite"
    Try fûcking googling it - it's literally the first result

    "Anyone know where I can get a new tyre for my car on Saturday"
    Again with the fûcking Google

    "Can I just walk in to apply for my licence or do I need an appointment"
    Google

    "What's the name of the street that Penny's is on"
    Google

    "Anyone have the no. for XXXXXX the vet?"
    Jesus Christ woman, Google the fûcker, he has a website with his number right at the top

    They could just change the name of the group to "Google it you Fûcking Numpty" and everybody's problem would be solved.

    https://lmgtfy.com/


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  • Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 20,862 Mod ✭✭✭✭inforfun


    endacl wrote: »

    Too polite, will not sink in.

    http://www.just****inggoogleit.com/

    Which of course will be masked here by the swear filter.


This discussion has been closed.
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