Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

thesandeman

Wonder what cucumber is?

Bigbagofcans

thesandeman wrote: »

Wonder what cucumber is?

Nun.

Widdershins

pc7 wrote: »

This sh1te is off again!! (Tldr; let's post secret messages to raise awareness for breast cancer but don't tell men)

Hi beautiful, so here it is the time of year again when we try to raise awareness of breast cancer through a game. Its very easy and I was hoping you would participate. Last year we had to write the color of our bra's on our status. Men wondered for days what was going on with random colors on status's. This year we make reference to our love life status as a flavor. Do not answer to this message just post corresponding word on your status and send this message privately to all the girls on your friends list. Blueberry is single, pineapple is its complicated, raspberry is I don't want to commit, apple is engaged, cherry is in a relationship, banana is married, avocado is I'm the better half, strawberry is can't find mr right, lemon is I want to be single, and raisin is I want to get married to my partner. Last time the bra game was mentioned on t.v let's see if we can get there with this one. Please resend this to all your girly friends then update your status with your answer ONLY! DONT TELL ANY GUYS!
I hope to see lots of fruit

All the ingredients for a few fruitcakes there.

fineso.mom

Ridiculous, don't tell men. Why??
Men get breast cancer too. Let's not tell them and have them ignore that weird lump until it's too late.
Men are often in a position to find lumps! I know one woman whose husband noticed a lump on her breast while they were having sex and had her booking an appointment first thing the next morning . She told me if she had found it herself she probably would have ignored it for a while through fear of what it might be.
How many men are involved in research or treatment of breast cancer? How far would we be with treatment if it wasn't for men?
For many women with breast cancer, it's the men in their lives who take them for treatment, mind them at home after and take care of the kids while the woman is ill, and often with little support because they are not the one who has cancer.
Jesus that kind of post annoys me so much, breast cancer doesn't just affect women...it affects their husbands, brothers, fathers,sons and male friends.
Don't tell men? Give me a break.

BattleCorp

pc7 wrote: »

Hi beautiful, so here it is the time of year again when we try to raise awareness of breast cancer through a game. Its very easy and I was hoping you would participate. Last year we had to write the color of our bra's on our status. Men wondered for days what was going on with random colors on status's. This year we make reference to our love life status as a flavor. Do not answer to this message just post corresponding word on your status and send this message privately to all the girls on your friends list. Blueberry is single, pineapple is its complicated, raspberry is I don't want to commit, apple is engaged, cherry is in a relationship, banana is married, avocado is I'm the better half, strawberry is can't find mr right, lemon is I want to be single, and raisin is I want to get married to my partner. Last time the bra game was mentioned on t.v let's see if we can get there with this one. Please resend this to all your girly friends then update your status with your answer ONLY! DONT TELL ANY GUYS!
I hope to see lots of fruit

What's this all about? My wife won't tell me. If only us guys had learned to read.

Ken.

Mod-No names. It's in the fücking title of the thread. Posts deleted that mention it.

Benildus

As storms rise across the world I ask the great spirit to please protect all of the innocent people and creatures along its path. My heart looks into the eye of the storm and asks it to please be gentle... Mother Nature I know you have been provoked... I know you would not rain such destruction on a peaceful world. I pray that the madness which fuels this destruction is stopped once and for all so we may live our lives together in true joy Brothers and Sisters please know that we have a power within us that is greater then any storm.. please don't allow yourself to be washed away in the seas of fear... use the infinite power within you to send loving, healing intentions to our entire Earth family, our love is a vital healing catalyst for everything I do not think it matters who you pray to, I believe that spirit is the same no matter what costume we put on it.. Simply connect with the source that gave us all life and ask it to mind us, ask it to protect all of our Earth family, keep us safe and nourished in the arms of love Great Spirit, Please fill those effected with love so they may know we are here for them, Please give us the courage to mend all that is broken and build a better world from the pieces left behind. Please guide our family safely through this path of chaos.. through this chaos may we birth a dancing star Warm your hearts by the tribal fire my family Love to you all

Let's heal homelessness, let's do it together, I really mean it, let's do it! 'From Small Acorns, Grow Mighty Oaks' and this is the seed of something so humongously beautiful that words fail to do it justice. Friends please get on board, as we sail this ship of love and freedom into the brave new world we are creating. YEEEEE HYAAAW Please Share, Connect, Help & of course Love

Heal homelesseness, not fix it or solve it, but heal it.

New Age Freaks

emeldc

Quite obviously a serial killer. No one is that nice.

darkdubh

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I see a lot of new age type claptrap show up on my feed but I suspect the above is a spoof.

Benildus

darkdubh wrote: »

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I see a lot of new age type claptrap show up on my feed but I suspect the above is a spoof.

Oh she's real:

The air feels different this morning... calmer, clearer and more vibrantly charged with the light of the sun and moon... practically tingling with life! dose anyone else feel it? ❤️🌺

purpleisafruit

Benildus wrote: »

Oh she's real:

She's a 'dose' alright I'd say

pilly

Gravelly wrote: »

And here was me thinking my eldest was having a quiet night in front of the TV when he said that's what he was at.

I've texted my kids before that I was Netflix and chilling with the dog! Before I knew what it was shorthand for. :D:D

Paddy Cow

pilly wrote: »

I've texted my kids before that I was Netflix and chilling with the dog! Before I knew what it was shorthand for. :D:D

That's one of those things you will never live down lol :D:D:D

pilly

Paddy Cow wrote:

That's one of those things you will never live down lol

One of many!

pilly

Paddy Cow wrote:

That's one of those things you will never live down lol

One of many!

RhubarbCrumble

Somebody I know had a post up about her mother being in hospital. Lots of the usual 'u ok hun?', 'thinkin of ya' etc comments.

One however really stood out:
'Hope youre mammy not to sick an dat she not in expinsive care or nothin'.

Let's be honest. None of us would like to end up in expensive care!

kildare lad

����TheDaughtersChallenge is on! If you have a daughter in your life who help bring balance to your ��world. She is beautiful in every way. She has a ❤️heart of ��gold. She makes you ��laugh but drives you ��crazy. She is your ��best friend. She fills your rainy days�� with sunshine��. You pray �� for her success & you want her to achieve all her dreams��. You're thankful �� for & truly adore �� your daughter❤ my girl ����

optogirl

kildare lad wrote: »

����TheDaughtersChallenge is on! If you have a daughter in your life who help bring balance to your ��world. She is beautiful in every way. She has a ❤️heart of ��gold. She makes you ��laugh but drives you ��crazy. She is your ��best friend. She fills your rainy days�� with sunshine��. You pray �� for her success & you want her to achieve all her dreams��. You're thankful �� for & truly adore �� your daughter❤ my girl ����

My cousin's wife blocked me on FB because she put one of these up about sisters and I wrote underneath 'Nah, Mine are only alright'

emeldc

kildare lad wrote: »

����TheDaughtersChallenge is on! If you have a daughter in your life who help bring balance to your ��world. She is beautiful in every way. She has a ❤️heart of ��gold. She makes you ��laugh but drives you ��crazy. She is your ��best friend. She fills your rainy days�� with sunshine��. You pray �� for her success & you want her to achieve all her dreams��. You're thankful �� for & truly adore �� your daughter❤ my girl ����

Substitute 'daughter' for 'dog' and that works for me

mackeire

My day off today so for the first time in years i decided to sit down and watch a bit of daytime tv. You know the type all the lazy ****ers watch all day . Well **** me how in the name of jaysus do you watch it at all. Heres a small rundown of the ****e i watched

Ghost hunters international. Its a programme where people go into a building thats supposedly haunted. They walk around by day to see the layout then later that night they return and turn all the lights out and go huinting. Doors bang, stones get thrown, voices heard and people are touched. I say people are touched and by that i mean those who ****in believe it.....if the lights were on it would look like a scene from a kids playground with everyone throwing things at each other and whispering in corners and slamming doors in childish petulance...seriously do ghosts only play at night

The king of working class tv , Jeremy Kyle

The newborn babies have more teeth than the parents and its the only show where you can actually smell the dirt off the scrotes who go on it. Its like going to a zoo where all the animals are pretending to be humans with the occasional farmyard animal thrown in too. And the little twat kyle who shouts and roars at people then when it gets tough two oversized ****in goons come out to protect him. The only reason i can think that people watch this ****e is they are nosey or because it makes them feel better about their lives

And last but by no means least...loose women

Well i can ****in tell you i was totally let down and dissapointed when i tuned in to this while having the house to myself. Very misleading title

LynnGrace

optogirl wrote: »

My cousin's wife blocked me on FB because she put one of these up about sisters and I wrote underneath 'Nah, Mine are only alright'

!

PeterParker957

optogirl wrote: »

My cousin's wife blocked me on FB because she put one of these up about sisters and I wrote underneath 'Nah, Mine are only alright'

It's moments like this I miss my mam - she'd have been on there going "she's a pain in the a*se at times to be honest"!!

von Smallhausen

So I wasn't going to post about this until I posted in a mom group and found out many parents don't think twice about the danger of a phone charger around children. On Sept 28th my 19 month old stuck my phone charger in her mouth. We went to the Dr who confirmed that it was an electrical burn there was nothing they could put on it due to her being able to lick it. Any other day my charger wouldn't have been plugged up in her reach but bc of a bunch of stuff going on that day I didn't have time to move it. It took all of a few seconds for her to get burned. She had never tried to put it in her mouth and she had never messed with it. The one day it isn't moved she stuck it in her mouth and got a severe burn. She doesn't feel it thank God hasn't acted like it bothers her at all.
**Parents, Grandparents, babysitters etc please put your chargers up out of reach. My daughter was lucky the next kid may not be as lucky as her.

pilly

PeterParker957 wrote: »

It's moments like this I miss my mam - she'd have been on there going "she's a pain in the a*se at times to be honest"!!

Peter Parker is a "she"? Who knew.

PeterParker957

pilly wrote: »

Peter Parker is a "she"? Who knew.

Hey don't assume my gender you patriarchal erm man you!

LOL!!

Love the Spiderman films but hate spiders and Mary Jane annoyed the life outta me!!!!!!

kildare lad

There's two sides to every story bunch of fallow the sheep ***** on this fb i know the real story doe so **** every singal person who thinks different

gutenberg

A check-in at a wedding - by the bride.

'So the day finally arrived, today I married the most wonderful man in the world. I love you XXXX'.

Get off facebook, it's your wedding!! :rolleyes:

mackeire

gutenberg wrote: »

A check-in at a wedding - by the bride.

'So the day finally arrived, today I married the most wonderful man in the world. I love you XXXX'.

Get off facebook, it's your wedding!! :rolleyes:

Stop being jealous that you weren't invited

coolhull

Danny_B wrote: »

So I wasn't going to post about this until I posted in a mom group and found out many parents don't think twice about the danger of a phone charger around children. On Sept 28th my 19 month old stuck my phone charger in her mouth. We went to the Dr who confirmed that it was an electrical burn there was nothing they could put on it due to her being able to lick it. Any other day my charger wouldn't have been plugged up in her reach but bc of a bunch of stuff going on that day I didn't have time to move it. It took all of a few seconds for her to get burned. She had never tried to put it in her mouth and she had never messed with it. The one day it isn't moved she stuck it in her mouth and got a severe burn. She doesn't feel it thank God hasn't acted like it bothers her at all.
**Parents, Grandparents, babysitters etc please put your chargers up out of reach. My daughter was lucky the next kid may not be as lucky as her.

Well, yeah, but she is fully charged now so let's not nit-pick..

coolhull

coolhull wrote: »

Well, yeah, but she is fully charged now so let's not nit-pick..

Children are always fully charged. Ive a toddler nephew and he never runs out of battery

On a more serious note though who the fúck lets the child near a plug anyway? Granted kids are active to be fair as i said but there is now blockers for plug holes and surely you could charge your phone up high?