Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

PeterParker957

corner of hells wrote: »

The Love I Have For Him 💒ðŸ’💋It Was A Sin He Asked The Nurse Could He Stay Here With Us For The Night Anal

VHI surely??? Never got offered thst on the public ward!!

sligojoek

corner of hells wrote: »

The Love I Have For Him ����It Was A Sin He Asked The Nurse Could He Stay Here With Us For The Night Anal

i prefer a bit of daytime anal, myself.

Ted_YNWA

PeterParker957 wrote: »

VHI surely??? Never got offered thst on the public ward!!

sligojoek wrote: »

i prefer a bit of daytime anal, myself.

It makes my whole week..

Surreptitious

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

job seeker

Surreptitious wrote: »

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

If there was ever a need for Google translate, this is it.. :rolleyes:

somesoldiers

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

It makes my whole hole week weak..

FYP

Ted_YNWA

somesoldiers wrote:

FYP

I was speaking in Facebookish

razorblunt

There's a guy I work with getting tagged in some other fella's promotions for a gig that's happening in February. His head is melted from it. The guy has a daily update trying to shill tickets to this thing, it's essentially just a small gig in a pub, the kind where the tickets will be bought by family to not have the lad sing to an empty pub or a pub trying to watch the tv in the corner.
Best part is the ticket comes with a "free meet and greet with the performers". 2 of the "support" act are lads learning to play the guitar.
Talk about notions of yourself.

benjamin d

somesoldiers wrote: »

FYP

That's literally the joke.

PeterParker957

Surreptitious wrote: »

Wouldnt be without my big lil ...were bezzie mates me n big lil...on the other hand om bezzie mates with little lil ...yer im bezzie mates with little lil n tilly aint bad either ....yer i love tilly yep tillys my bezzie mate bless tilly hers the muts i love tilly bits n well tod i car leave him out hes the man of the house ...tods a tiger tods the boss the dom ...well hes a bir ov a wanker really but hes amazing bit of a lets the girls smack him about n i have to save him .....yes tods the boss really hes the man ..yerrrr tod ...go tod go fcuk the girls tod ya tha man xxx hes me best mate is toddy bear ..me bezzie xxx i love um my girls tods turned gender i luv him hes me bezzie the dom him xxx

Whuuuuhhhh ?????

razorblunt

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Whuuuuhhhh ?????

Yeah, wtf?

Are they talking about their dogs?

tea and coffee

Are they dogs or cats, these besties; or should I say beasties (groan)

PeterParker957

razorblunt wrote: »

Yeah, wtf?

Are they talking about their dogs?

It's a definite possibility. When man evolved from ape he talked in grunts.

I fear we're going back that way.

Samsgirl

Friend of a friend feeling festive



Rudolph the red-cock reindeer had a very shiny knob. And if you ever saw him, he would stick it in your gob. All of the other reindeer, used to **** and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any sex games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nob so bright, won't you do my arse tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red-cock reindeer, you should do pornography...

Ralf and Florian

Samsgirl wrote: »

Friend of a friend feeling festive



Rudolph the red-cock reindeer had a very shiny knob. And if you ever saw him, he would stick it in your gob. All of the other reindeer, used to **** and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph, join in any sex games. Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say: "Rudolph with your nob so bright, won't you do my arse tonight?" Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the red-cock reindeer, you should do pornography...

Is your friend Roger Melly from Viz?

rawn

De Bhál

^^^

A pilot?

WHIP IT!

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

inforfun

Well..... on my way to work yesterday they were discussing that a stay at home parent should actually have an income of €42.000 be cause of all the work he or she did.
When they tried to explain why, most of those jobs listed in the post above, were listed.

And when they do studies about that kind of thing, you can be sure there are people believing it.

rawn

"There laughing at yea you can't even rap get the next plane back to India yea crack head Wat are yea like even me nanny can rap better than you Hahahahaha yea soul call ur self famous and yea can't even rap I'd smash me ma phone if I ever see that video yea disgrace Hahahahaha"

WHIP IT!

WHIP IT! wrote: »

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

Ah Kev..

PeterParker957

rawn wrote: »

"There laughing at yea you can't even rap get the next plane back to India yea crack head Wat are yea like even me nanny can rap better than you Hahahahaha yea soul call ur self famous and yea can't even rap I'd smash me ma phone if I ever see that video yea disgrace Hahahahaha"

Nan get off the PC, you're drunk again!!!

rawn

WHIP IT! wrote: »

I call bullsh*t on the "MOMMABEAR" post... not 'avin it, lads...

Well i can't vouch for its authenticity but I can confirm I have met many #mommabears who think like that!

Benildus

The local rag's FB page had an article about refugees being resettled in an old disused hotel near a primary school in the town. The local Councillor was quoted as saying we need to look after our own etc

Usual type of comments were posted:

• not in my town
• who has vetted them
• what about the Irish homeless
• won't anyone think of the children
• why can't they go home/somewhere else
• etc, etc

Then this gem popped up:

Life's Wars,tricky Extremely tricky...Though landing fugees ..Who's bullying who..Needless wars,Best to Refuse and Demand Peace in Syria for syrrians!!"Real battles are won DEFENDING Innocent folk and ALLOWING THEM STAY, IF WE ARE BOMBED HERE WHO TAKES US IN..AND ANSWER THIS..WHY MUST WE LEAVE..?"OUR OWN HOMELAND..FIGURE OUT WHY NO MUST BE THE STRONG WORD OF GOOD..DEMAND THE FIGHTERS TO LEAVE!!; Syria."NOW WERE TALKING DEFENCE.... IRISH ...FEAR STOPs them.far too often scholars!/

CalamariFritti

The scariest thing about facebook is that it gives us an insight into how Joe & Josephine Doe tick. On a large scale and with a lot of gory details. I bet anthropologists and sociologists are loving it.
I think the rest of us were better off not knowing.

Big Nasty

Killing Me Softly?

Ted_YNWA

Big Nasty wrote:

Killing Me Softly?

It's the reFugees they're thinking of.

Wannabe tribute band.

rawn

"But on the plus side you Liberal loons found home 🡠so for 4.000 Islamic Refugees.. You love our Democracy way of life Beer Bacon Gays
and are not offended at all with all Church's"

fussyonion

"won a box of king on facebook grand christmas come early told currier would be here today grand i says what time im told could be anytime.
head off ta smyths to get the last of (child's name) presents course no f****** lol dolls left cos some greedy c*** got the last one just before me. leggied it over to sowrds with (friend's name) got the f***** lol doll grand.

phone rings. currier with me king. im outside yer gaff love what says i im after going out like??? will i leave it on the step will you be long? says he. i says here im in f***** swords like!!!

he says ill leave it wit your neighbor i see her there goin in. i says you will in your ****e i cant stand the g**bag the last time the postman left somthing with her i had to f***** nearly streel her to give me it.

I says leave it on me doorstep and hope ta jaysus it isnt robbed. leggied it home anyway and what happen?? F***** box gone and i know it was der cos i seen a bit of cardboard from it on me step. some f***** g**bag after robbin me prize. karmas a bitch hun kormas a bitch. #waitandsee #aintnobodygonrobmeatchristmas"

(I added the paragraphs for your own sanity.)

El Weirdo

fussyonion wrote: »

"won a box of king on facebook grand christmas come early told currier would be here today grand i says what time im told could be anytime.
head off ta smyths to get the last of (child's name) presents course no f****** lol dolls left cos some greedy c*** got the last one just before me. leggied it over to sowrds with (friend's name) got the f***** lol doll grand.

phone rings. currier with me king. im outside yer gaff love what says i im after going out like??? will i leave it on the step will you be long? says he. i says here im in f***** swords like!!!

he says ill leave it wit your neighbor i see her there goin in. i says you will in your ****e i cant stand the g**bag the last time the postman left somthing with her i had to f***** nearly streel her to give me it.

I says leave it on me doorstep and hope ta jaysus it isnt robbed. leggied it home anyway and what happen?? F***** box gone and i know it was der cos i seen a bit of cardboard from it on me step. some f***** g**bag after robbin me prize. karmas a bitch hun kormas a bitch. #waitandsee #aintnobodygonrobmeatchristmas"

(I added the paragraphs for your own sanity.)

Makes sense.