Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

secondrowgal

That's a classic in fairness fussyonion!

mackeire

A complaint on Littlewoods page:

So I saw the last day to get items in time for Christmas was Monday so foolishly I thought I could make a stress free transaction online with your company, NO this was not the case so ensues the following ****storm of complete ineptitude that's taken the jam well and truly out of my Christmas donut. I ordered 4 items from your website. Mostly Peppa Pig toys to hopefully surprise my wee baby child with. You took payment but didn't confirm the order. 8 remedial and temple vein bulge inducing phone calls later the customer care wreckin crew still cannot find the order but STILL have taken the money from my account. I was told by 2 members of this same 'elite' customer care team that a superviser / manager would call before the end of the day. I even questioned "will a superviser REALLY call me back" and was assured they would, so I'm a big eejit for believing the word from the mouths of this exceptional team of retailing geniuses. In hindsight, The birds in the sky knew nobody was going to call me back. So today your customer service tell me no such call was logged with the superviser! Ok great. So liars as well as thieves. You rightly lead me up the garden path now and just in time for Christmas So take the money from my bank account. Hold it for a few days but won't send the order out ? Is it beyond the realms of intelligence to perhaps just send the order out now having realised the mistake instead of leaving me stuck for both the order and MY MONEY. No instead you are going to refund to my card which takes 5 working days which realistically means I'll have it back earliest 27th of Dec ? Sure Christmas will be over then. The branches of the tree will have wilted downwards, the supply of celebrations will be down to wrappers and half chewed bounty bites and the depressing hint of January is well and truly in the air. Why didn't you go and buy them somewhere else people might ask! but No you have made sure I won't be able to do that because you still went and took my money. Well isn't this a fine business model. We mess up your order and you can sit around till after xmas and wait for your money back then. We won't go beyond performing the minimal amount of effort to resolve the issue. Now what happens if in 5 business days I don't see the refund ? You've done me up like a right Christmas Gob****e haven't you LITTLEWOODS IRELAND!

El Weirdo

mackeire wrote: »

A complaint on Littlewoods page:

So I saw the last day to get items in time for Christmas was Monday so foolishly I thought I could make a stress free transaction online with your company, NO this was not the case so ensues the following ****storm of complete ineptitude that's taken the jam well and truly out of my Christmas donut. I ordered 4 items from your website. Mostly Peppa Pig toys to hopefully surprise my wee baby child with. You took payment but didn't confirm the order. 8 remedial and temple vein bulge inducing phone calls later the customer care wreckin crew still cannot find the order but STILL have taken the money from my account. I was told by 2 members of this same 'elite' customer care team that a superviser / manager would call before the end of the day. I even questioned "will a superviser REALLY call me back" and was assured they would, so I'm a big eejit for believing the word from the mouths of this exceptional team of retailing geniuses. In hindsight, The birds in the sky knew nobody was going to call me back. So today your customer service tell me no such call was logged with the superviser! Ok great. So liars as well as thieves. You rightly lead me up the garden path now and just in time for Christmas So take the money from my bank account. Hold it for a few days but won't send the order out ? Is it beyond the realms of intelligence to perhaps just send the order out now having realised the mistake instead of leaving me stuck for both the order and MY MONEY. No instead you are going to refund to my card which takes 5 working days which realistically means I'll have it back earliest 27th of Dec ? Sure Christmas will be over then. The branches of the tree will have wilted downwards, the supply of celebrations will be down to wrappers and half chewed bounty bites and the depressing hint of January is well and truly in the air. Why didn't you go and buy them somewhere else people might ask! but No you have made sure I won't be able to do that because you still went and took my money. Well isn't this a fine business model. We mess up your order and you can sit around till after xmas and wait for your money back then. We won't go beyond performing the minimal amount of effort to resolve the issue. Now what happens if in 5 business days I don't see the refund ? You've done me up like a right Christmas Gob****e haven't you LITTLEWOODS IRELAND!

Why would anyone only half chew the Bounty bars?

PeterParker957

El Weirdo wrote: »

Why would anyone only half chew the Bounty bars?

Bite
Ewww coconut
Spit
Leave other half

El Weirdo

PeterParker957 wrote: »

Bite
Ewww coconut
Spit
Leave other half

Freak.

PeterParker957

El Weirdo wrote: »

Freak.

Hey they're no Malteasers!!!

MonkstownHoop

El Weirdo wrote: »

Freak.

Bountys are horrible

pc7

secondrowgal wrote: »

That's a classic in fairness fussyonion!

Half way through I said that has to be fussy, scrolled up and it was! Lol your friends crack me up!

coolhull

"Wouldn't ya fakking no it?
Yestidddy I went Tescos and botte a big trkey for Xmas n den himselfe came home sed he won anuder trkey in sum draw at wurk And a course den de young sez shes after getin word dat she won anuder 1 on sum Facebook yoke
Fakks sake we'll be ating turky til hallowen. "

Ah, you poor unfortunate. My heart goes out to you........

MonkstownHoop

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

Bountys are horrible

You take that back !! :pac:

tayto lover

fussyonion wrote: »

"won a box of king on facebook grand christmas come early told currier would be here today grand i says what time im told could be anytime.
head off ta smyths to get the last of (child's name) presents course no f****** lol dolls left cos some greedy c*** got the last one just before me. leggied it over to sowrds with (friend's name) got the f***** lol doll grand.

phone rings. currier with me king. im outside yer gaff love what says i im after going out like??? will i leave it on the step will you be long? says he. i says here im in f***** swords like!!!

he says ill leave it wit your neighbor i see her there goin in. i says you will in your ****e i cant stand the g**bag the last time the postman left somthing with her i had to f***** nearly streel her to give me it.

I says leave it on me doorstep and hope ta jaysus it isnt robbed. leggied it home anyway and what happen?? F***** box gone and i know it was der cos i seen a bit of cardboard from it on me step. some f***** g**bag after robbin me prize. karmas a bitch hun kormas a bitch. #waitandsee #aintnobodygonrobmeatchristmas"

(I added the paragraphs for your own sanity.)

Wasn't me

I thought a currier delivers curry not crisps?

Ralf and Florian

From the comments section of link about a filmed police beating in the States.

"I hate American police man's with my hole heart , racism and hate is to much for black people's in that evil country , I pray one god must destroy America."

In fairness its from someone whose first language wouldn't be English, but still.:rolleyes:

AndrewJRenko

From a neighbourhood WhatsApp group discussing reports of burglars in the vicinity;

It’s worrying with all these doggy guys going around.

sligojoek

The White Feather

"Comin out of de hospital two dogs tied up around a pole a pup and a dog walked down past em my mam screams out Jesus war gahhhh they got free she grabs umm c'mon we bring umm back the pup starts actin like the antichrist wen I get over to em yet the dog just sat pure patient out as we tied em back onto the pole then was in dunnes man offered to buy me an outfit he basically pointed out a female version of what dean Winchester would wear purple plaid shirt dark red jeans and a pair of boots n all I was laughing for a good 5 minutes"

corner of hells

The White Feather wrote: »

"Comin out of de hospital two dogs tied up around a pole a pup and a dog walked down past em my mam screams out Jesus war gahhhh they got free she grabs umm c'mon we bring umm back the pup starts actin like the antichrist wen I get over to em yet the dog just sat pure patient out as we tied em back onto the pole then was in dunnes man offered to buy me an outfit he basically pointed out a female version of what dean Winchester would wear purple plaid shirt dark red jeans and a pair of boots n all I was laughing for a good 5 minutes"

Is it a Christmas Carol?

rawn

A friend shared a status of a friend

"Hey girls If anyone is stuck for make up over the Christmas I can do a few �� I normally only do close friends or family but don't mind doing a few for anyone that can't get appointments I no what it's like this time of year"

That's all well and good, but she has this posted alongside pictures of examples of her makeup work - but every picture has that stupid bunny Snapchat filter with the nose and the ears, that makes your skin look flawless. False advertisement or wha?!

thesandeman

The White Feather wrote: »

"Comin out of de hospital two dogs tied up around a pole a pup and a dog walked down past em my mam screams out Jesus war gahhhh they got free she grabs umm c'mon we bring umm back the pup starts actin like the antichrist wen I get over to em yet the dog just sat pure patient out as we tied em back onto the pole then was in dunnes man offered to buy me an outfit he basically pointed out a female version of what dean Winchester would wear purple plaid shirt dark red jeans and a pair of boots n all I was laughing for a good 5 minutes"

@fussyonion either has an alt account or a sister.

Ralf and Florian

This showed up in my feed.

PeterParker957

Ralf and Florian wrote: »

This showed up in my feed.

Exactly what the block function was made for it I'd say!!

Testament1

coolhull wrote: »

"Wouldn't ya fakking no it?
Yestidddy I went Tescos and botte a big trkey for Xmas n den himselfe came home sed he won anuder trkey in sum draw at wurk And a course den de young sez shes after getin word dat she won anuder 1 on sum Facebook yoke
Fakks sake we'll be ating turky til hallowen. "

Ah, you poor unfortunate. My heart goes out to you........

Pity they wouldn't win a fúcking dictionary.....

The White Feather

"that heart in ur throat moment when you walk inta the bathroom not expecting anything scary tahappen and ya nearly tear ur ligaments again because some dope left a spill on de floor.
can't wait fer dis year 2 b over and none of ye better have the cheek to "suggest" a new years resolution or i swear ta my ninja master i will cut all ye'er heads odd no joke i actually found a machete in the garage the other day
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

emeldc

so seems as everyone CANT hold sh1t id like to tell my family and friends me and (name) are expecting are 3rd bundle of joy and we cannot wait to meet you prince or princess

To which (name) replies:

THATS NOT MY BABY SHES RIPPING ME OFF MONTHS NOW AND SHE IN COOLOCK WIT HER NEW FELLA RIGHT NOW HER MATE SET THIS UP JUST THOUGHT ID LET US ALL KNOW THERES ONLY ONE NAME FOR HER. Ye when your going out to his mate today u mean I seen the texts your sapost to be pregnant wit my baby your ripping me off wit every one thats not my baby ye fat tramp riding everything

pc7

emeldc wrote: »

so seems as everyone CANT hold sh1t id like to tell my family and friends me and (name) are expecting are 3rd bundle of joy and we cannot wait to meet you prince or princess

To which (name) replies:

THATS NOT MY BABY SHES RIPPING ME OFF MONTHS NOW AND SHE IN COOLOCK WIT HER NEW FELLA RIGHT NOW HER MATE SET THIS UP JUST THOUGHT ID LET US ALL KNOW THERES ONLY ONE NAME FOR HER. Ye when your going out to his mate today u mean I seen the texts your sapost to be pregnant wit my baby your ripping me off wit every one thats not my baby ye fat tramp riding everything

Could be the modern day Mary and Joseph! I bet Joseph was thinking the same, just change Coolock to Nazareth.

PeterParker957

emeldc wrote: »

so seems as everyone CANT hold sh1t id like to tell my family and friends me and (name) are expecting are 3rd bundle of joy and we cannot wait to meet you prince or princess

To which (name) replies:

THATS NOT MY BABY SHES RIPPING ME OFF MONTHS NOW AND SHE IN COOLOCK WIT HER NEW FELLA RIGHT NOW HER MATE SET THIS UP JUST THOUGHT ID LET US ALL KNOW THERES ONLY ONE NAME FOR HER. Ye when your going out to his mate today u mean I seen the texts your sapost to be pregnant wit my baby your ripping me off wit every one thats not my baby ye fat tramp riding everything

Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaa!!!

LittleMuppet

The White Feather wrote: »

"Comin out of de hospital two dogs tied up around a pole a pup and a dog walked down past em my mam screams out Jesus war gahhhh they got free she grabs umm c'mon we bring umm back the pup starts actin like the antichrist wen I get over to em yet the dog just sat pure patient out as we tied em back onto the pole then was in dunnes man offered to buy me an outfit he basically pointed out a female version of what dean Winchester would wear purple plaid shirt dark red jeans and a pair of boots n all I was laughing for a good 5 minutes"

I actually sang this post to the tune of Mr Brightside and now I've that feckin song in my head

jousting with chairs

Damn you, now it's after happening me.
Good song though :-)

Ralf and Florian

All from the same person who posted on Richard Dawkins FB page.


Dawkins your mother should have aborted you I don't agree with abortion but in your case it would have done humanity a favour you sporn of Satan.


evil mind says he who praises the antichrist he is evil.


Boo hoo I'm an atheist more like brain washed idiots when these idiots laugh at us or mock God or Jesus we should actually take it as a compliment seriously look at them the logical thought is Copy each other or use meme bunch of morons that's what you are.

if you don't want us to troll then don't mock Christianity as I just said you use meme your specialty, one would think with all the missing info in your bs theory you would be looking for your ancestor? Or the beginning to the biggest lie told to mankind you guys are obsessed maybe it's because deep down inside you don't feel complete shame NOT!!


Theres many more but I think you get the picture.

Ralf and Florian

L*** B**** prophet Adam and his wife Eve were Muslims. Noah, Abraham, Moses David. Solomon were all Muslims.

Even the Jewish books state that Muslims existed before jews. Please educate yourself.