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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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    #872
    Jinonatron
    Registered Users Posts: 111 ✭✭Jinonatron


    rawn wrote: »
    Caution: Take aspirin at least 10 minutes before reading.

    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8495640576/h2B855B44/

    Jesus F****** Christ on a bicycle


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    #873
    Mehaffey1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,593 ✭✭✭Mehaffey1


    Kovu wrote: »
    This picture that I've seen shared a few times by people on facebook has made me roll my eyes so much I think I've gone blind.

    In the middle of calving here so had a chuckle at that one myself. Cows would kill more people worldwide in a month than lions have in years surely


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    #874
    Kovu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,241 ✭✭✭✭Kovu


    Mehaffey1 wrote: »
    In the middle of calving here so had a chuckle at that one myself. Cows would kill more people worldwide in a month than lions have in years surely

    If you need a hand and have acc. Giz a shout :)


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    #875
    coolhull
    Registered Users Posts: 49,731 ✭✭✭✭coolhull


    rawn wrote: »
    Caution: Take aspirin at least 10 minutes before reading.

    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8495640576/h2B855B44/

    "DE bus drover was drankin"

    Oh my God, the criminal b@st@rd....


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    #876
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    that made my eyes bleed


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    #877
    sligojoek
    Registered Users Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    that made my eyes bleed
    I always thought that was a stupid internet saying till I read the above.


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    #878
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    sligojoek wrote: »
    I always thought that was a stupid internet saying till I read the above.

    i think i physically got a headache


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    #879
    PandaPoo
    Registered Users Posts: 4,977 ✭✭✭PandaPoo


    When I told my son to take a piss in the sea I meant go into the water and go for a sly one.. I turn around he's standing there with his jocks around his ankles at the edge of the water practically pissing on 2 kids playing in the water.. I wasn't even mad just impressed at how he thought that'd be alright


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    #880
    danger mouse
    Registered Users Posts: 559 ✭✭✭danger mouse


    So we're in our hotel room about to watch divergent when Lauren comes out of the bathroom and says, "Houston, we have a problem". Now we had just had dinner at Outback and Lauren wasn't feeling particularly amazing.

    My dear wife bursts into laughter and I quickly realize that a large foreign object had gotten stuck in our porcelain space station. So, I walk into the bathroom and dislodge the object with one flush.

    The wife was amazed because she attempted to flush it down three times prior. Oh, I love married life
    heart emoticon
    ‪#‎blessed‬ ‪#‎foreignobject‬ ‪#‎sheneedsmorefiber‬ ‪#‎poop‬ ‪#‎nexttimeshewillbringaknife‬

    Married 5 days. wife is 19 and Husband is 21... Thed hash tags are the best part.


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    #881
    Duke O Smiley
    Registered Users Posts: 12,078 ✭✭✭✭Duke O Smiley


    Christ.


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    #882
    Kovu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,241 ✭✭✭✭Kovu


    Duke O Smiley wrote: »
    Christ.

    But what if she's just joined a new practice as a locum GP and nobody wants to go in to her. :D


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    #883
    Wright
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭Wright


    PandaPoo wrote: »
    When I told my son to take a piss in the sea I meant go into the water and go for a sly one.. I turn around he's standing there with his jocks around his ankles at the edge of the water practically pissing on 2 kids playing in the water.. I wasn't even mad just impressed at how he thought that'd be alright

    That's not dumb its incredible! :D


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    #884
    Wright
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭Wright


    rawn wrote: »
    Caution: Take aspirin at least 10 minutes before reading.

    https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8495640576/h2B855B44/

    "I LIFE DA GOOD LIVE"

    AHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAJAAJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    No way she's a native speaker. Please tell me she's not.


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    #885
    ElleEm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    I don't even know where to start!


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    #886
    Kovu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,241 ✭✭✭✭Kovu


    ElleEm wrote: »
    I don't even know where to start!

    Or finish :P The great endangered full stop scare of 2015.


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    #887
    Big Nasty
    Registered Users Posts: 22,080 ✭✭✭✭Big Nasty


    ElleEm wrote: »
    I don't even know where to start!

    I hate with a serious fookin passion anyone who uses that font on their phone. :mad:


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    #888
    diusmr8a504cvk
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,959 ✭✭✭diusmr8a504cvk


    Big Nasty wrote: »
    I hate with a serious fookin passion anyone who uses that font on their phone. :mad:
    And people who use a capital letter at the start of every word.


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    #889
    lawred2
    Registered Users Posts: 24,346 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    ElleEm wrote: »
    I don't even know where to start!

    the police surely


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    #890
    niallo32
    Registered Users Posts: 620 ✭✭✭niallo32


    Usual person:

    "Why cant one noisey bitch fuk right of and get on with her own life reporting my pic you **** have you got noting better else's to do you gimp ewalk fat little fuk poor excuse for a mother feel sorry for that child growing up around you weirdo."


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    #891
    fussyonion
    Registered Users Posts: 7,819 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    Fella posts a pic of himself in front of a load of shots lined up on a bar.
    Someone comments: "how r u knot ded ya spaztick"

    Fella replies; "cos i no how ta drink so i does an cu u litle goblin ye herd bout dat time u came in (insert name of pub) an start trowdin ur way arund an got sik al ova d bar ha scarlit for ye mar for havin ye haohoha ne way enough chattin ders drinkin te b dun"

    Someone replies: "luv ye son b carful wont ye"


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    #892
    SMJSF
    Registered Users Posts: 600 ✭✭✭SMJSF


    ElleEm wrote:
    I don't even know where to start!

    Please tell her/him that every word does not start with a capital.... I nearly started twitching reading the second line!


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    #893
    valoren
    Registered Users Posts: 5,473 ✭✭✭valoren


    "As a mum that has two beautiful angels in heaven on birthdays and angelversaries I try to keep myself going....."


    Angelversary??


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    #894
    Loughc
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 24,817 Mod ✭✭✭✭Loughc


    Appeared on my timeline over the weekend, a girl I know holding her fathers hand with the caption my world is broken.

    First comment was the obligatory you ok Hun? X second comment was my father passed away 5 minutes ago.

    I'm sorry but if your dad has passed away and your first thought is I better post up on Facebook there's something wrong.


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    #895
    Sittingpretty
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,872 ✭✭✭Sittingpretty


    Loughc wrote: »
    Appeared on my timeline over the weekend, a girl I know holding her fathers hand with the caption my world is broken.

    First comment was the obligatory you ok Hun? X second comment was my father passed away 5 minutes ago.

    I'm sorry but if your dad has passed away and your first thought is I better post up on Facebook there's something wrong.

    :eek:


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    #896
    mackeire
    Registered Users Posts: 2,280 ✭✭✭mackeire


    Loughc wrote: »
    Appeared on my timeline over the weekend, a girl I know holding her fathers hand with the caption my world is broken.

    First comment was the obligatory you ok Hun? X second comment was my father passed away 5 minutes ago.

    I'm sorry but if your dad has passed away and your first thought is I better post up on Facebook there's something wrong.

    I know a girl like this. When her father was sick, she put something up on facebook every few minutes (and I mean every few minutes) for months, even tho her family asked her not to as she was making a mockery of the whole thing!
    One of the things she put up said how empty the house is without him and her kids will miss him. People automatically assumed that he had died and sent the usual RIP messages and then she put up a status saying whoever is spreading the horrible rumors that her father has died has to stop as its really upsetting her and her family!!
    Her da was in hospital for the day and she had made it sound like he had died!! This went on for months!!


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    #897
    KKkitty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,534 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    Loughc wrote: »
    Appeared on my timeline over the weekend, a girl I know holding her fathers hand with the caption my world is broken.

    First comment was the obligatory you ok Hun? X second comment was my father passed away 5 minutes ago.

    I'm sorry but if your dad has passed away and your first thought is I better post up on Facebook there's something wrong.

    No offense but I'd unfriend her. That's going too far and it's disrespectful to her dad and family. What an attention seeking idiot.


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    #898
    Rubberlegs
    Registered Users Posts: 7,073 ✭✭✭Rubberlegs


    Not as bad as the posts above, but my newsfeed today is full of someone's dog being put down. Photos of kids playing with the dog for the last time, a video, statuses of how emotionally drained they are at explaining it to the kids. A countdown to bringing the dog to the vet. Jesus Christ I'm cringing for them:(


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    #899
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    fussyonion wrote: »
    Illegible garbage

    You gave me a headache :(


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    #900
    gutenberg
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭gutenberg


    Not really as good/awful as some of the above, more a proofreading and autocorrect fail...

    Woman posts a photo of her daughter, "Well done XXXX on your medal at the weekend, what a little superstore!".

    Gave me a giggle.


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    #901
    rawn
    Registered Users Posts: 3,093 ✭✭✭rawn


    gutenberg wrote: »
    Not really as good/awful as some of the above, more a proofreading and autocorrect fail...

    Woman posts a photo of her daughter, "Well done XXXX on your medal at the weekend, what a little superstore!".

    Gave me a giggle.

    Maybe she's trying to sound posh. "Oh she's soch a superstore!"


This discussion has been closed.
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