Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

corner of hells

"That feeling when not only is hole christening paid for but Santy is done two safe to say all is to worry clothes and kobs first birthday party."

Anyone have their hole christened?

ohnonotgmail

corner of hells wrote: »

"That feeling when not only is hole christening paid for but Santy is done two safe to say all is to worry clothes and kobs first birthday party."

Anyone have their hole christened?

not for quite a while

marcbrophy

corner of hells wrote: »

"That feeling when not only is hole christening paid for but Santy is done two safe to say all is to worry clothes and kobs first birthday party."

Anyone have their hole christened?

There's a time and place for everything...
And it's called college

Lisha

Big Nasty wrote: »

Noakin?

Reading it, it seems to be nothing but I’ve no idea how it morphed inti ‘ noakin’

SirChenjin

corner of hells wrote: »

"That feeling when not only is hole christening paid for but Santy is done two safe to say all is to worry clothes and kobs first birthday party."

K...k....kobs?

Dammo

SirChenjin wrote: »

K...k....kobs?

Corny name

Hotblack Desiato

Gwen Cooper wrote: »

She has a new one and really hoped that her new social services card will arrive by this morning, so she doesn’t have to pay for the bus.

Fcuk sake. Why does she have a bus pass?

The absolute human wastage we are paying for in this country boils my p!ss

Historybluff

Here's a post by a middle-aged woman. Apparently the shape of your finger nails betrays your personality. :rolleyes:

sligojoek

Historybluff wrote: »

Here's a post by a middle-aged woman. Apparently the shape of your finger nails betrays your personality. :rolleyes:

I thought horoscopes were sh1te but that takes the biscuit

Paddy Cow

Historybluff wrote: »

Here's a post by a middle-aged woman. Apparently the shape of your finger nails betrays your personality. :rolleyes:

Because we all know that women can be categorised into 4 personalities :rolleyes:

Big Nasty

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Because we all know that women can be categorised into 4 personalities :rolleyes:

All at the one time! :pac:

miamee

Great start to my third year of college in this now for the next 12 weeks Carpool tunnel syndrome basically trapped nerve in my wrist and below can't write type or hold anything in it great fun

I had a giggle at the carpool tunnel syndrome

knucklehead6

miamee wrote: »

I had a giggle at the carpool tunnel syndrome

Is that someone who car pools but makes their passengers get out at the Port Tunnel entrance? Same with the Jack Lynch and the Limerick Tunnel

Gwen Cooper

Ok guys, sit down, relax, and read the story of Miss P's latest drama. I was quite disappointed with her weekend posting because I was expecting a Facebook post every 10 minutes about who is in the pub and whether she wants to have sex with them, but there was NOTHING. Not a word. Until Saturday evening, where she started live-streaming a video from her phone, filming the ceiling while a loud music was playing in the background. Miss P glanced at the phone every now and then, once she started singing along. After that there were a few more videos from an actual dance floor, which I didn't bother watching.

Anyway. Miss P returned home on Sunday. And remember how she said that she's leaving her dog with someone? She didn't do that the last time she left town, someone reported it and Miss P is now freaking out:

Posted Sunday, 22:46

I comes home to a letter from the dog warden number one left her only ever one night on her own never let dog on her own more than one night in my house number 2 I am always nearly at home 24/7 track and trace my IP location address gardas numbee 3 she is well looked after She is feed given water and sometimes a bit of milk she is given dog bones number 4 the dog is 4 Months old teeth are at her she is in pain she is bound to cry and bark even when I'm in home with her that is the way she is nothing I can do about that you wouldn't tell a newborn or toddler humans parents sorry your child is a disturbance you need a transfer or put the child in the care system you can't tell a child stop crying and making a racket number 5 gardas didn't ring me before they called to my house number 6 they didn't show me any statements paper work number 7 they spoke to me outside my house for everyone to hear and see number 8 I offered them nicely to go into my house to talk to me they said no your grand we talk to you at the door number 9 if they went into my house they would have seen I have food water toys chew bones from the co op all on my kitchen slash sitting room floor for the dog number 10 they have no prove that I'm abusing my dog no one can be with their dogs or any animal 24/7 not even zoo keepers it's like south doc you mint need a house call but no doctor might be on 24 hour call they could be with someone else they might not have one on that night so is a Garda that done their work time to stay up 24 hours working if the only one that is in the office for the whole day I lived with a Garda just remember that They couldn't watch me 24/7 so they would have to give me to my neighbor and actually went to the shop one day and left me all alone at 5 years old in the house I was living in at the time in <town> she couldn't even be on 24 hour Garda duty so say the night I got meningits and had to be rushed in her car to South doc just say another Garda needed back up from her she would have to say sorry I cannot do it the child I have is very sick I'm off duty for the night and also tomorrow gardas cannot be on 24 hour duty either and then said told my current foster family that I am a child from hell and I only 5 years old at the time the Garda got into some **** for it all and just like I can't be with my dog 24 hours and if I cancelled my hotel room after 48 hours is up I still would have had to pay 90 euro plus they probably would have kept my deposit of 50 euro I cannot duck tape or mussle my dog to shut it up and keep it quiet number 11 the Garda said to me I'm on duty until Monday I be up to your house later on tonight to knock on your window and if I hear your dog I am bringing you to court for animal cruelty I promise you I will I mean Buisness and also you have to ring the Garda station here in this town to confirm someone is watching your dog for you and I rang them to confirm it I've been told the Garda that said that is threatening me they cannot say any of that I said I may not have proof they said it but they said all that to me number 12 my dog is 4 Months a pup is allowed up until 4 Months to get a license that be done this week coming I looked it up online and I sleep walk as well always have and will until I die unless ye have proper proof never accuse anyone you get yourselves in s**t I learned that the tough way

Comments under this post:

A friend: Didnt u have someone looking after the dog for the 2 nights

Miss P: Ya but this was from the 31st of august not last weekend

Miss P: I'm getting a soclitors advice on it and be ringing the dog warden and be ringing the ispca and a few people Said if the gardas didn't go into your house they can't prove your abusing your dog no one can and abusing your dog is beating the dog up and anyone will say the same that no one can be in home 24 hours with any animal not possible

Miss P: Ya but they never showed no paperwork didn't say any names asked them kindly to go into my house to talk to me they said no were grand we talk to you from here outside the door the girl never said the fella was giving out even the person minding my dog could see she is biting me and my legs I give her a little flick shove off my leg with my foot because I can't keep using my hands if I'm trying to put clothes into the wash slash dryer ect picking her up too much a bad habit and I don't think spaying her with cold water would stop her biting the Garda said he be up at my window later on last Friday and said if I hear your dog on its own I am bringing you to court now they seen my dog and they can say she is not looked after and my arms and hands and some parts of my leg were visible to them to see the bites and scratches

Miss P: I can report this to the Garda ombudsman too

Miss P: I rang a 24 hour solicitor in <town> and he was not really nice to me he was like how did you get my number and I said I taught you were a solictor he was like not what I asked I said I got it online because I'd like advice on what to do before complaining the people who complained me which in court their names probably have to be said and the man Garda spoke to me yes I'm no Saint but I have learnt from my mistakes and I was saying to people I sleep walk I don't know what I'm doing in my sleep I could go into the kitchen and turn on the cooker in my sleep and place go up in fire that will spread and I bet you this week and this weekend call over to my house I'll be here I don't leave my animal 24 hours and I don't go out all the time before I went out last month I didn't go out in a month and a Week or a Month and 2 weeks

Posted Sunday, 22:52

IRELAND THANK YOU INTERNET WITHOUT YOU FOR ALL MY PROOF I WOULD BE LOST MY DOG IS 4 MONTHS OLD

Dog Licences
If you have a dog over 4 months old, you are legally required to have a licence, there are limited exceptions to this rule. A licence can be issued to person over 16 years of age.

Posted Sunday, 23:00

BUT ARE NOT ALLOWED TO JUST GO BROWSING OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE WITHOUT RINGING YOU TO LET YOU KNOW THEY ARE OUTSIDE THAT IS KNOWN AS HARRASSMENT SO THAT BE LIKE ME GIVING A LOAN IF MY PHONE OR 20 EURO TO SOMEONE AND THEM SAYING TO ME ILL GIVE YA IT BACK AND I DO NOT GET IT BACK THAT IS LIKE ME SAYING TO THEIR FACE WHEN I SEE THEM I WANT IT BACK BY TONIGHT OR IM GOING TO YOUR DOOR AND WINDOW TO HEAR IF YOUR THERE OR NOT AND IF YOUR THERE AND STILL DO NOT GIVE IT BACK IM PRESSING CHARGES A STATEMENT BE MADE

A garda can ask you to stop at any time. In certain circumstances, such as when you are driving, you must stop if asked to by a Garda. A garda can search you, without your consent, if the garda has reasonable suspicion that you have committed an offence

Posted Sunday, 23:05

Ya I know it's my word against theirs but I'll be ringing the dog warden tomorrow saying everything

A garda can ask you to stop at any time. In certain circumstances, such as when you are driving, you must stop if asked to by a Garda. A garda can search you, without your consent, if the garda has reasonable suspicion that you have committed an offence

Posted Sunday, 23:09

BUT I WAS IN KERRY HOW WAS I GETTING TO <town> AT 2AM IN THE FU**ING MORNING I DO NOT DRIVE AND NO PUBLIC 24 TRANSPORT MY CASE BE WON IN COURT

Fortunately, these days most people know better than to leave their dog alone for such a long stretch, but it's very common for dogs to be left home for eight or 10 or 12 hours, up to five or six days a week.

Posted Sunday, 23:13

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All / Knowledge
Can You Leave a Dog Alone Overnight?
Dec 15, 2017

Can you leave a dog alone overnight? There are times you may not be able to be at home at night, whether it's a short out-of-town trip or a late night at the office. If something comes up, you may be anxious about the needs of your four-legged friend. And why not? Many pup parents feel guilty about a few hours spent away from their furbaby, let alone leaving them overnight. If you take proper precautions ahead of time, though, leaving your pup through the night may be possible. Here are some tips to keep in mind if you decide to leave your dog alone overnight.

Sunday, 23:21

SO HOW WAS I BRINGING MY DOG WITH ME ???
NUMBER 2 I HAD TO PAY 41.80 FOR A TRAIN RETURN TICKET WHICH I HAVE STILL FOR PROOF OUT OF 75 EURO I ONLY HAD 35 LEFT TO KEEP MYSELF GOING UNTIL NEXT WEDNESDAY ARRIVES BACK TODAY WITH 10 EURO I WAS TELLING A DUBLIN PERSON ABOUT LOSING EVERYTHING IN PURSE AND THAT THE TRAIN STATION WOULD NOT ACCEPT MY TEMPORARY YELLOW CARD AND IS THE TRUTH I HAD TO PAY 41.80 FOR A RETURN TICKET EVERYONE NEARLY WANTS TO TAKE MONEY FROM YOU THESE DAYS AND 10 EURO WAS NOT GOING TO KEEP ME GOING UNTIL NEXT WEEK AND EVEN 15-20 NOT GOING TO DO YA EITHER

Bus Éireann is the long-distance bus service operator in Ireland, plus operates local services in cities outside of Dublin. Despite the dog in its logo, but not surprisingly given that most long distances buses on continental Europe don’t allow dogs, pets dogs are also forbidden on these buses.

If you’re in Dublin, you might have better luck. The buses in Dublin are operated by by Dublin Bus. Dogs are permitted at the discretion of the driver, and must be removed if requested by a driver or inspector. You’d most likely be given permission to take a small dog in a carrier bag on the bus, but dogs on a leash and larger dogs are questionable. Luas, the light-rail operator in Dublin, is a little clearer but more excluding in its rules. Only dogs in an appropriate enclosed pet carrier are allowed, although it’s still at the discretion of staff.

sligojoek

"Spayed with cold water"

That's a new method.

Bigbagofcans

Anybody a cheep table and chair for sale must be cheep?

Foweva Awone

Holy jaysus I've seen it all now.

tomwaits48

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Holy jaysus I've seen it all now.

that has to be a wind up.

Tacitus Kilgore

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Holy jaysus I've seen it all now.

Is that an American person? or someone who thinks they're in America?

Foweva Awone

Tacitus Kilgore wrote: »

Is that an American person? or someone who thinks they're in America?

I don't know I saw it in an Irish group

Leg End Reject

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Holy jaysus I've seen it all now.

What mother wouldn't look at her newborn son and hope his penis doesn't spend half a lifetime in a woman's mouth?

Be selfish not to.

BattleCorp

Leg End Reject wrote: »

What mother wouldn't look at her newborn son and hope his penis doesn't spend half a lifetime in a woman's mouth?

Be selfish not to.

Tut tut tut. Not very modern of you. The penis could well spend half a lifetime in a man's mouth nowadays. Didn't happen back in my day. No no.

duffman13

A woman a friend of mine has shacked up with, 6 kids and never worked a day in her life. Been friends on Facebook for a few months and her 2nd youngest started school. The first 3 days are as follows on FB

Day 1
My God I know I I shudnt burst out laughing wen the teacher had me like a child in her office sayin how my son held up the school was dancing on the table tellin all the kids to help him sing we want to go out side...
Trew hez table back to hard apparently nearly hit another child...
Ran round the school and teachers upset cuz as hez running hez screaming back to.them. tag ur it lololol

I'm like I'm sorry for laughing but hes four years old like lolol

A bold lil **** but hez 4 wait till the brother starts nxt year lolol...

No seriously hed wanna cop on now mommas tired lol

Day 2
Day 2 ..devil child sent home..Corbing kids...
I'm taken after me telling him I'll bring him doctors an get him a needle if he blaggards...

Meeting with principal again
5 boys but this fella has to be acting the maneeen round the place....

Day 3
New was to good to be true ..
I'll swing fir that teacher
The devils spawns been sent home again....

Apparently jumping front wall of the school and tellin teacher hez goin home cuz he wasn aloud into the bigger yard to play with hez older brother in 5th class ...
And very upset wen he was told hez in baby infant yard so walkd out of the school roaring hez no baby lolol

My 4 year thinks hez a teenager...

Day 4 is a video id love to share where she's laughing at his antics of being sent home from school telling him for the 4th day and after buying him supremacs she'll make him wear her bra and knickers over to neighbours house

Day 5
Picture
Me and my little devil spawn having munchies and day off, hez so gud

Some people should be ****in sterilized

BattleCorp

duffman13 wrote: »

A woman a friend of mine has shacked up with, 6 kids and never worked a day in her life. Been friends on Facebook for a few months and her 2nd youngest started school. The first 3 days are as follows on FB

Day 1
My God I know I I shudnt burst out laughing wen the teacher had me like a child in her office sayin how my son held up the school was dancing on the table tellin all the kids to help him sing we want to go out side...
Trew hez table back to hard apparently nearly hit another child...
Ran round the school and teachers upset cuz as hez running hez screaming back to.them. tag ur it lololol

I'm like I'm sorry for laughing but hes four years old like lolol

A bold lil **** but hez 4 wait till the brother starts nxt year lolol...

No seriously hed wanna cop on now mommas tired lol

Day 2
Day 2 ..devil child sent home..Corbing kids...
I'm taken after me telling him I'll bring him doctors an get him a needle if he blaggards...

Meeting with principal again
5 boys but this fella has to be acting the maneeen round the place....

Day 3
New was to good to be true ..
I'll swing fir that teacher
The devils spawns been sent home again....

Apparently jumping front wall of the school and tellin teacher hez goin home cuz he wasn aloud into the bigger yard to play with hez older brother in 5th class ...
And very upset wen he was told hez in baby infant yard so walkd out of the school roaring hez no baby lolol

My 4 year thinks hez a teenager...

Day 4 is a video id love to share where she's laughing at his antics of being sent home from school telling him for the 4th day and after buying him supremacs she'll make him wear her bra and knickers over to neighbours house

Day 5
Picture
Me and my little devil spawn having munchies and day off, hez so gud

Some people should be ****in sterilized

Along with never working a day in her life, it appears that she never went to school either.

Hotblack Desiato

You just know he's going to be spending most of his adult life in the Joy. What f**kin' chance did he have? :mad:

duffman13

Update on her school issues, parents seem to be an issue aswell as teachers

"That's beautiful feeling known ur getting.dirty looks outside the school but u hilariously knoe there not worth a fart so u allow them to keep biggin themselves up letting them think ur actual a slight bit intimidated.. Then boom let's play lolol I'm quiet not soft"

Followed by an article shared about potential social welfare Xmas bonus being scraped

"That the faaavour may take them after the bulk of lush is got I wont have grade for a turkey or toy lolol"

Really not sure what she is saying here, even Google translate is no help

RhubarbCrumble

I'm just picturing her having a humourous conversation with someone, but in my mind instead of laughing, she's actually saying "lololololol".

duffman13

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

I'm just picturing her having a humourous conversation with someone, but in my mind instead of laughing, she's actually saying "lololololol".

Pretty much kinda like this, I had the privilege of seeing her in person, she's talks like she texts tbh 😅

jprboy

duffman13 wrote: »

"That the faaavour may take them after the bulk of lush is got I wont have grade for a turkey or toy lolol"

"That the fever may take them ….. (i.e. curses on those who want to scrap the bonus)

……. After I have bought most of the products in Lush …. (Lush is a cosmetic brand/chain)

…. I won't have anything left to buy a turkey or toy lol"

Amirite?

Lady Haywire

I was translating lush as alcohol....? No?