Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

kunst nugget

73Cat wrote: »

"Time to bring the misses her mid morning coffee and get my mid morning smooch Laters"

Somebody please pass me a bucket

Is there any chance she'll give him back his testicles when he brings her the coffee?

PTH2009

ever see the posts if someone finds a sd card from a camara or a missing camara. they post photos up and say stuff like' do you knw who this is in the photo etc.

people putting up first pints back in college photos. i dont care and whats with the deal of people of drinking pints through straws.

aaronjumper

PTH2009 wrote: »

I dont care and whats with the deal of people of drinking pints through straws.

It's supposed to get you drunk faster, though I have no idea if it is true or not. Never bothered to research it.

mackeire

Picture of a bag of mushrooms with the following:

The early man catches the early mushrooms

First comment: picks, not catches ya dope.

kunst nugget

mackeire wrote: »

Picture of a bag of mushrooms with the following:

The early man catches the early mushrooms

First comment: picks, not catches ya dope.

Tbf, he's probably so baked he probably thinks he's chasing after them and catching them.

mackeire

kunst nugget wrote:

Tbf, he's probably so baked he probably thinks he's chasing after them and catching them.

No these are normal mushrooms. There's nothing magic about them!!

kunst nugget

mackeire wrote: »

No these are normal mushrooms. There's nothing magic about them!!

There is when you have to catch them!!!

mackeire

Here's a few from my friends mother. She'd be in her 50's. All of the below are just random gibberish she shares with the world on Facebook and doesn't seem to make much sense.

i,m watch,n ghost whiisperer n its still as sad as ever

mmm mmm mmmm

n its a yes frm me haha

lv it, i woz in stitches here n (child's name) n (child's name) sit,n thr laf,n at me haha, (child's name) says moy nanny's crackers hÃ႒ ha

be safe stop tx,n n call,n on ur fones

kunst nugget

mackeire wrote: »

Here's a few from my friends mother. She'd be in her 50's. All of the below are just random gibberish she shares with the world on Facebook and doesn't seem to make much sense.

i,m watch,n ghost whiisperer n its still as sad as ever

mmm mmm mmmm

n its a yes frm me haha

lv it, i woz in stitches here n (child's name) n (child's name) sit,n thr laf,n at me haha, (child's name) says moy nanny's crackers hÃ႒ ha

be safe stop tx,n n call,n on ur fones

I feel really proud of myself for being able to translate that.

As regards to that fúcking programme, The Ghost Whisperer. How come the ghosts never got pissed off with her for the way she never said what they said.

'Tell Mary that if only I could have been there I could have stopped the accident and maybe saved our little girl. Tell her I'm sorry I left her alone in this world but I couldn't take the pain. Tell her loving here was the only good thing I had in my life. Tell her that she brings happiness to everyone that she ever meets and she is the most wonderful woman that every lived'

'He says he misses you…'

'WTF, Bitch!!! I didn't say that! I said loads more!'

fussyonion

People spelling "Misses" instead of "Missus."

Generic Dreadhead

mackeire wrote: »

Here's a few from my friends mother. She'd be in her 50's. All of the below are just random gibberish she shares with the world on Facebook and doesn't seem to make much sense.

i,m watch,n ghost whiisperer n its still as sad as ever

mmm mmm mmmm

n its a yes frm me haha

lv it, i woz in stitches here n (child's name) n (child's name) sit,n thr laf,n at me haha, (child's name) says moy nanny's crackers hÃ႒ ha

be safe stop tx,n n call,n on ur fones

This person managed to be 50 years old and still type like that, what a f**king moron in fairness.

There was no text speak when she was growing up or even when she was spending the 1st 2 decades of her like (probably not) in gainful employment.

She's chosen to adopt text speak now, at 50 years old.... dope

rawn

Cormac... wrote: »

This person managed to be 50 years old and still type like that, what a f**king moron in fairness.

There was no text speak when she was growing up or even when she was spending the 1st 2 decades of her like (probably not) in gainful employment.

She's chosen to adopt text speak now, at 50 years old.... dope

My mam is in her 50's and is very well spoken and proper, she is a techno-phobe and can just about send an email or text. She texts like that too, an example from earlier

"4got pasport ask dan drop it way 2 dyl r get it my place it in white envelope drop over 4 job form"

Sometimes I have to ring her cos they're indecipherable :P

ivytwine

rawn wrote: »

My mam is in her 50's and is very well spoken and proper, she is a techno-phobe and can just about send an email or text. She texts like that too, an example from earlier

"4got pasport ask dan drop it way 2 dyl r get it my place it in white envelope drop over 4 job form"

Sometimes I have to ring her cos they're indecipherable :P

My mam is the same, very well spoken and intelligent. I think when she learned to text there was a limit on what you could say (160 characters?) and she just thinks texts are meant to be like that. I can't understand her messages either sometimes!

mud

My Ma's the same! She's well-educated, worked all her life and still she insists on typing gibberish into her phone. Myself and Da were taking the mickey over it and she got mad and said she was never texting either of us again.

She did though :P

dnt 4gt bns 2mrw :P

gutenberg

What's the time difference between here* & the UK?

*posted from Dublin Airport.

Jesus wept.

Frank Grimes

gutenberg wrote: »

*posted from Dublin Airport.

Jesus wept.

Don't pass up that opportunity :pac:

gutenberg

Frank Grimes wrote: »

Don't pass up that opportunity :pac:

Someone commented with 'Ya thick!' :pac:

What's scary is that I share some DNA with this person :eek:

Frank Grimes

gutenberg wrote: »

What's scary is that I share some DNA with this person :eek:

Sorry to hear that

ivytwine

gutenberg wrote: »

Someone commented with 'Ya thick!' :pac:

What's scary is that I share some DNA with this person :eek:

Don't worry, you also share 70% of your DNA with a banana

via4

(name) DA dog DAT he is wouldnt even pay towards his kids books for school r anything for school he thinks because he pays 27.50 between 2 boys dat should cover everything they need r want going round thinking he is daddy of DA year.... But no doubt about it he would have DA money to drink and smoke weed everyday ****in pisses me rite off....... But one day my boys will realize wat he really does for dem absolutely nothing....

readyletsgo

via4 wrote: »

(name) DA dog DAT he is wouldnt even pay towards his kids books for school r anything for school he thinks because he pays 27.50 between 2 boys dat should cover everything they need r want going round thinking he is daddy of DA year.... But no doubt about it he would have DA money to drink and smoke weed everyday ****in pisses me rite off....... But one day my boys will realize wat he really does for dem absolutely nothing....

No doubt those two little boys will grow up to be exactly the same as their 'daddy'.

Why would you put something so private like that on fb?

Fame and Demise

ivytwine wrote: »

Don't worry, you also share 70% of your DNA with a banana

In fairness you never see a banana posting stupid things on Facebook

Thoie

Oh god - I thought this was a pisstake when I saw it first. From a friend of a friend of a friend's post on Facebook - accompanied by some of those British First pictures ("grannies only get £6,000 a year despite paying taxes all the time, illegal immigrants automatically get £29,500 a year", and my favourite "they come over here and can't even speak English" - I've left the post below unedited...).

There are thows that choose to come here and work , but there are allso thows that just want to abuse our system , we have more radicals comeing to this country every day , more makeing there way across Europe , will we have the fighting on the streets of the UK like we have in other places , as a witch we will be one of many that would be targeted as we don't agree to there rules and way of life , I am not racial , I respect life and every one , no matter of colour or what religious beleath Thay may have , we all have a right to live , but we do not have the right to take a life in the name of some so called God
Rant over

I'm not sure whether I prefer "thows that" or "I'm not racial... but".

Kovu

Thoie wrote: »

Oh god - I thought this was a pisstake when I saw it first. From a friend of a friend of a friend's post on Facebook - accompanied by some of those British First pictures ("grannies only get £6,000 a year despite paying taxes all the time, illegal immigrants automatically get £29,500 a year", and my favourite "they come over here and can't even speak English" - I've left the post below unedited...).



I'm not sure whether I prefer "thows that" or "I'm not racial... but".

Oh god.....it's "as a witch" for me!

Thoie

Kovu wrote: »

Oh god.....it's "as a witch" for me!

At least it's grammatically correct and spelled right (presuming they are a witch).

thesandeman

I like the 'religious beleath Thay may have' bit. Looks like they have a lisp.

stephenl15

This persons occupation: Yummiest mummy xx at full time yummy mummy xx

Out of curiosity how do I change *****'s surname on his birth cert from being double barelled to just *****? Someone mail me with info? Thanking you!:)

Friend comment: Think ya have to go your solicitor

OP: I have solicitor for bringing my ex to court do I say it to her?

Then the comments go on and on and on.

Lots more of this type of stuff from her too.

KKkitty

Fame and Demise wrote: »

In fairness you never see a banana posting stupid things on Facebook

I'm sure if a banana was on Facebook they'd make a few slip ups with their statuses

yellowlabrador

Some "mother's" just shouldn't be. They take all credit for their good kids then get the blaCk sheep ratted on , locked up and hidden away in silence.im similar to YOU missy, im not letting this go - EVER,
So ****in prepare for a war coz im fighting for 4, and the more people find out ur a rat the more danger ur putting urself and ur gohouse in danger, pre warning. Be very very watchful and hang on , now im not givin u advice. The things u have done to *** all his life, and now u want my kids to suffer making them sleep on streets for one night. Prepare to have every precioous pocession gone,we are u suing u for everything you tortured ur son over tthe years, thats why he turned out angery plus wen he saw u shag ur daughters boyfriend on ur xmas table: drop your attention seeking lies or i swear to ur ****in god actuallymmh_ not sure
And clarifying i am not threatening u. U lied to the police to get ur son locked up, how do u sleep at night, im seeing a solicitor Monday

oh dear:eek:

sligojoek

There's enough material there for a whole conference. What the hell is a "gohouse"?