Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

gimmick

fussyonion wrote: »

"Why o why do kids always wanta use the tiolet when yer after asking them do they want to use it???? out in the square today with caitlin and asked her BE4 WE LEFT if she wanta use the toliet and she was mammy i dont i dont right grand we left and wear only in the fcukin door at boots and its mammy mammy i need the tyla caitlin for fcuk sake im after askin ya BE4ORE WE LEFT!!!! So then im in smyths breakin me arms carryin toys and fcukin owl 1s gettin in the way as usual wit their throllies and then again mammy mammy i need the tyla!! if i didnt no any better id swear the child had systitis. 4 times she ended up goin and now im frazzled and there;ll be mcdonalds for the dinner cos theres no way in fcuk im cooking tonight, james will have to swing for his crispy pancakes. #happyfcukinchristmas"

Is this legitimate or from a parody? If legit I despair every more for the future of our species.

Brilliant though

sligojoek

Christmas withdoubt war no Monsanto the bees back to put a buzz back in Christmas and to save our planet for all man kinde not for a chosen few and lots of love

.

jimmii

Christmas withdoubt war no Monsanto the bees back to put a buzz back in Christmas and to save our planet for all man kinde not for a chosen few and lots of love

I'm sure this is what tiny tim would have said at the end of Scrooge if it had been written now!

mfceiling

From reading a lot of posts here I wonder what is going wrong with the teaching of English in schools.
Is it laziness, stupidity or the reliance on text talk?

jimmii

mfceiling wrote: »

From reading a lot of posts here I wonder what is going wrong with the teaching of English in schools.
Is it laziness, stupidity or the reliance on text talk?

I used to think it was purely down to people being lazy but when you see people write be4ore it really makes you wonder. In reality it appears that Idiocracy could well become our future!

fussyonion

gimmick wrote: »

Is this legitimate or from a parody? If legit I despair every more for the future of our species.

Brilliant though

Sadly, it's legitimate.

Lisha

fussyonion wrote: »

Sadly, it's legitimate.

That's scary

Tetra

An American friend of mine has moved from California to Denver, Colorado:

It's so quiet here.... No banda bumping next door, no shout matches outside, no gossiping hooker trannies in tacky outfits yaaaaasing as they take selfies, no fire engine or cop cars running by at all...
What do I do with all this silence? It's foreign and unnatural....

The Randy Riverbeast

jimmii wrote: »

I used to think it was purely down to people being lazy but when you see people write be4ore it really makes you wonder. In reality it appears that Idiocracy could well become our future!

Idiocracy wasn't so bad. They wanted people who were smarter than them to lead rather than people voting for politicians as dumb as themselves.

yellowlabrador

watch out folks,

RainyDay

From a relatively normal American cousin, mid-level manager in an insurance business over there;

THANK YOU, MARK ZUCKERBERG, for your forward-thinking generosity! And congrats on becoming a dad!
Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10% of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY and tag 5-10 of your friends. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day's posts and award 1000 people with $4.5 million EACH as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection and philanthropy.
I hope someone I know gets a piece of the pie--let me know if you do!!!
First of all Mark, FB is an amazing invention and such a great way to stay in touch w/family and friends...so thank you!!!

It took about an hour for a friend to post the link to the snopes debunking.

BattleCorp

yellowlabrador wrote: »

watch out folks,

Oh sh1t. Panic panic panic. We are all going to die. I better pray to God/Allah/John Travolta or else I'm in trouble.

Where is CMK so I can stay the fcuk away from "their" today.

jimmii

BattleCorp wrote: »

Oh sh1t. Panic panic panic. We are all going to die. I better pray to God/Allah/John Travolta or else I'm in trouble.

Where is CMK so I can stay the fcuk away from "their" today.

Looks like its a phone company in Philippines we should be ok. Phew.

Shannon757

fussyonion wrote: »

"Why o why do kids always wanta use the tiolet when yer after asking them do they want to use it???? out in the square today with caitlin and asked her BE4 WE LEFT if she wanta use the toliet and she was mammy i dont i dont right grand we left and wear only in the fcukin door at boots and its mammy mammy i need the tyla caitlin for fcuk sake im after askin ya BE4ORE WE LEFT!!!! So then im in smyths breakin me arms carryin toys and fcukin owl 1s gettin in the way as usual wit their throllies and then again mammy mammy i need the tyla!! if i didnt no any better id swear the child had systitis. 4 times she ended up goin and now im frazzled and there;ll be mcdonalds for the dinner cos theres no way in fcuk im cooking tonight, james will have to swing for his crispy pancakes. #happyfcukinchristmas"

Definitely Limerick City accent on this one. Am i right?

PTH2009

some people with learning difficulties should not be allowed near facebook they post the most annoying crap like those friend survey things etc.

i also hate people who set up pages like 'pictures of drunk people', 'Embarrasing people' etc. they should be caught and jailed or fined.

there are course know which teaches people how to use facebook. i saw one in the paper which cost 60 euro to do. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:. what is wrong with people

Sittingpretty

Shannon757 wrote: »

Definitely Limerick City accent on this one. Am i right?

Hardly if they're shopping at the Square

Have you ever heard a Limerick accent

"Tyleh" is about as Dub as it comes.

I believe "Tylit" would be the Limerick scanger equivalent

Shannon757

Sittingpretty wrote: »

Hardly if they're shopping at the Square

Have you ever heard a Limerick accent

"Tyleh" is about as Dub as it comes.

I believe "Tylit" would be the Limerick scanger equivalent

Believe me i've heard one. Too manty times

rawn

A hairdressing type page posted this along with a picture of a wig they sell

"Heat Me,Curl Me,straighten Me,Wash Me,Style Me,brush Me,I'm a Human Hair Mix,you Can Do A lot With Me! I'm Thick And Lush At 140grm!! I'm A one Piece Wholehead Clip In hair Extension With 5 Clips Attached! I take Less Than 1 Minute To Attach and I'm Triple Wefted! I come in Many Colours You can Heat Me Up a To 160 degrees! And Best Of All I Am Only £10.00!!"

The wig must decrease IQ levels...

Sittingpretty

Shannon757 wrote: »

Believe me i've heard one. Too manty times

Well I can speak fluent Limerick being a native SO THERE!

RainyDay

PTH2009 wrote: »

some people with learning difficulties should not be allowed near facebook they post the most annoying crap like those friend survey things etc.

i also hate people who set up pages like 'pictures of drunk people', 'Embarrasing people' etc. they should be caught and jailed or fined.

there are course know which teaches people how to use facebook. i saw one in the paper which cost 60 euro to do. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:. what is wrong with people

Just to be clear - this is something you saw posted, right?

jimmii

RainyDay wrote: »

Just to be clear - this is something you saw posted, right?

If not then the irony is strong with this one!

fussyonion

Shannon757 wrote: »

Believe me i've heard one. Too manty times

Nah, it was a Dublin accent.

spud82

"For fux sake anodder jon rejection. Fooking cake was full of Polish and the one who interviewed me to was one of them aswell so obvo wasn;t gonna get picked. all they do is hire each other. Sicknered"


I deleted him, after reading this

BattleCorp

spud82 wrote: »

"For fux sake anodder jon rejection. Fooking cake was full of Polish and the one who interviewed me to was one of them aswell so obvo wasn;t gonna get picked. all they do is hire each other. Sicknered"


I deleted him, after reading this

English teacher interview?

sligojoek

THANK YOU, MARK ZUCKERBERG, for your forward-thinking generosity! And congrats on becoming a dad!
Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10% of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day's posts and award 1000 people with $4.5 million EACH as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection and philanthropy.
I hope someone I know gets a piece of the pie--let me know if you do!!!

I've seen ten of these today.

mahoganygas

Sicknered.

I'm adding that gem to my vocabulary.

Ted_YNWA

spud82 wrote: »

"For fux sake anodder jon rejection. Fooking cake was full of Polish and the one who interviewed me to was one of them aswell so obvo wasn;t gonna get picked. all they do is hire each other. Sicknered"


I deleted him, after reading this

Can see why Jon rejected him/her.

coolhull

"Fookin cake full of Polish"
I've heard of cakes full of fruit, cakes full of sugar, and cakes full of mineral, but what would you do with a cake full of polish?

Ted_YNWA

Shoe polish or nail polish, either way will clean the system out.

Hammer89

Ted_YNWA wrote: »

Can see why Jon rejected him/her.

I assume by Jon he meant he was rejected from a toilet, likely because he planned to sit on the sink and do heroin.

mynameis905

fussyonion wrote: »

"Why o why do kids always wanta use the tiolet when yer after asking them do they want to use it???? out in the square today with caitlin and asked her BE4 WE LEFT if she wanta use the toliet and she was mammy i dont i dont right grand we left and wear only in the fcukin door at boots and its mammy mammy i need the tyla caitlin for fcuk sake im after askin ya BE4ORE WE LEFT!!!! So then im in smyths breakin me arms carryin toys and fcukin owl 1s gettin in the way as usual wit their throllies and then again mammy mammy i need the tyla!! if i didnt no any better id swear the child had systitis. 4 times she ended up goin and now im frazzled and there;ll be mcdonalds for the dinner cos theres no way in fcuk im cooking tonight, james will have to swing for his crispy pancakes. #happyfcukinchristmas"

I'm more surprised by the crispy pancakes in this story. I thought they became extinct sometime in the late 80s?

gutenberg

mynameis905 wrote: »

I'm more surprised by the crispy pancakes in this story. I thought they became extinct sometime in the late 80s?

I googled them as I'd never heard of them before, and found this genius recipe

inforfun

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

Hrududu

Nothing is more painful than watching someone at the end of their life or loose their life because of cancer. Trying to look good, but after chemo and radiation ... you know the person is physically changed and they're in shock!! I know many of you do not give a hoot about this message because, of course, the cancer has not touched you.You do not know what it's like to have fought the fight or had a loved one who leads a battle against cancer. For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favour and only some of you will do it... If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, please add this to your status for one hour as a mark of respect and remembrance .
Copy and paste to support victims and families affected by cancer.
From your phone or tablet, Hold your finger on the message to copy and paste on your page. Please no tagging or sharing.

This one is forever posting similar statuses and they are always urging you to copy paste rather than share. Buts it's the passive aggressive sh1te in bold that annoys me

JustShon

Hrududu wrote: »

Buts it's the passive aggressive sh1te in bold that annoys me

It's just like those "Comment if you love your mother. Ignore if you want her to die." things I keep seeing.

kunst nugget

inforfun wrote: »

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

I'm crying in work reading through those comments. Absolutely brilliant…

inforfun

kunst nugget wrote: »

I'm crying in work reading through those comments. Absolutely brilliant…

Yep, had some strange looks here too

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Fairly sure this person wasn't being serious but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people liking it didn't realise

Lads storm Desmond has just been fabricated by the government and the media to distract us from what's going on in Syria pay no mind

dreamers75

inforfun wrote: »

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

gone

inforfun

dreamers75 wrote: »

gone

Original with some of the best comments

dee_mc

I don't like having a large number of friends, in fact I do not accept some.
Others I've deleted over time, due to the way they do things and some inappropriate comments.
I don't have the figures, but the facts! So, I have chosen the best solution.
I am happy to have you because you are among my best of Thee Best.
Now I am going to see who will take the time to read this post until the end.
I'm curious to see who takes care of the BOND that I'm trying to create.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Copy and paste this onto your page, PLEASE DO NOT 'share'.
This is a little test, just to see who reads and those who share only without reading!
If you have read everything, select 'like' and then copy and paste into your profile, so I can put a comment 'smile.'
To copy just touch the post and when the word copy pops up, touch it and go to your status and tap till it says paste then touch paste.

Nobody will do it - nobody ever replies to her when she posts this sort of tripe - I can't imagine why!

Toots

RainyDay wrote: »

From a relatively normal American cousin, mid-level manager in an insurance business over there;

THANK YOU, MARK ZUCKERBERG, for your forward-thinking generosity! And congrats on becoming a dad!
Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10% of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY and tag 5-10 of your friends. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day's posts and award 1000 people with $4.5 million EACH as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection and philanthropy.
I hope someone I know gets a piece of the pie--let me know if you do!!!
First of all Mark, FB is an amazing invention and such a great way to stay in touch w/family and friends...so thank you!!!

It took about an hour for a friend to post the link to the snopes debunking.

Two people (one male and one female) who I used to work with post this sort of thing regularly. Both of them would be quite high up in the company we worked for, one senior management, one middle, and both who I would have considered very intelligent people. I'm not sure are they both just insanely gullible, or insanely broke/desperate, but any post where there's even a whiff of money/ipad/car/something completely implausible being given away, and they're sharing it all over the place.

GAAman

Guess what type of group shared this gem, bearing in mind Merkel was born in 1954....

jimmii

GAAman wrote: »

Guess what type of group shared this gem, bearing in mind Merkel was born in 1954....

Guessing its one of those local knitting groups. They just can't but seek controversy. There's one thats like the Westboro Baptist Church of knitting constantly at it.

Lucyfur

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

jimmii

Lucyfur wrote: »

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

At first I was like :eek:. Then I realised.

coolhull

jimmii wrote: »

Lucyfur wrote: »

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

At first I was like :eek:. Then I realised.

But I still don't get it??

Diamond Doll

coolhull wrote: »

But I still don't get it??

Raping, Wrapping

coolhull

Diamond Doll wrote: »

coolhull wrote: »

But I still don't get it??

Raping, Wrapping

Oh right. Thanks Diamond.
I suppose its just that I'm not used to seeing words mis- spelled on Facebook

jimmii

coolhull wrote: »

Oh right. Thanks Diamond.
It's just that I'm not used to seeing words mis- spelled on Facebook

Someone somewhere will be doing it to colon anal.