Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

The Sun King

Neil Issagum wrote: »

I'm sorry there is a need to post this but sadly we live in harrowing times please read.
important message from Crime Stoppers, please read this report,
While driving on a rural end of the roadway on Thursday morning, I saw an infant car seat on the side of the road with a blanket draped over it. For whatever reason, I did not stop, even though I had all kinds of thoughts running through my head. But when I got to my destination, I called the Police and they were going to check it out. But, this is what the Police advised even before they went out there to check..."There are several things to be aware of ... Gangs and thieves mostly from Eastern Europe are now plotting different ways to get a person (mostly women)to stop their vehicle and get out of the car.
"There is a gang initiation reported by the local Police where gangs are placing a car seat by the road...with a fake baby in it...waiting for a woman, of course, to stop and check on the abandoned baby. "Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person -- woman -- will be dragged into the woods, beaten and raped, and usually left for dead. If it's a man, they're usually beaten and robbed and maybe left for dead, too.
DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON!!! DIAL 9-9-9 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN.
"IF YOU ARE DRIVING AT NIGHT AND EGGS ARE THROWN AT YOUR WINDSCREEN, DO NOT STOP TO CHECK THE CAR, DO NOT OPERATE THE WIPER AND DO NOT SPRAY ANY WATER BECAUSE EGGS MIXED WITH WATER BECOME MILKY AND BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%, AND YOU ARE THEN FORCED TO STOP BESIDE THE ROAD AND BECOME A VICTIM OF THESE CRIMINALS.
THIS IS A NEW TECHNIQUE USED BY GANGS, SO PLEASE INFORM YOUR FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. THESE ARE DESPERATE TIMES AND THESE ARE UNSAVOURY INDIVIDUALS WHO WILL TAKE DESPERATE MEASURES TO GET WHAT THEY WANT."
Please talk to your loved ones about this. This is a new tactic used. Please be safe.
Get started NOW -- SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO BE CAREFUL AND AWARE OF EVERYTHING AROUND THEM SO AS NOT TO BECOME A VICTIM.

There's another one of these going around about unmarked cars trying to pull people over. It's a convicted rapist preying on women. -.-"

Neil Issagum

"Please talk to your loved ones about this"

Ok family sit down time, everyone into the living room for an important meeting, you too granny, come on now turn off eastenders there we don't want any egg throwing rapists blocking your vision by 92.5% now do we

gutenberg

The Sun King wrote: »

Used to know someone who freaked out if you had a pet name for her kid. Beth for Bethanie etc.

"Her name is Bethanie not Beth!!"

Her name will be "shut the **** up and sit in the corner" this weekend if you expect me to take care of your damn kid so you can have a break.

My cousin did exactly that with his son, just recently born. They chose a name which has an immediately-obvious and cute nickname (and one that many people would use as their actual name), but his partner immediately corrects everyone with the full name. Now, I can understand that maybe they prefer the full name, but jumping down people's throats because you picked a stupid name is irritating too...

BattleCorp

gutenberg wrote: »

My cousin did exactly that with his son, just recently born. They chose a name which has an immediately-obvious and cute nickname, but his partner immediately corrects everyone with the full name. Now, I can understand that maybe they prefer the full name, but jumping down people's throats because you picked a stupid name is irritating too...

There is always the unfriend button.

gutenberg

BattleCorp wrote: »

There is always the unfriend button.

We're not friends on Facebook. She does it in person too!

smash

The Sun King wrote: »

There's another one of these going around about unmarked cars trying to pull people over. It's a convicted rapist preying on women. -.-"

Larry Murphy somehow simultaneously lives in every town in Ireland and is regularly spotted in the local grocery stores.

coolhull

smash wrote: »

Larry Murphy somehow simultaneously lives in every town in Ireland and is regularly spotted in the local grocery stores.

Ah sure he has to eat, just like the rest of us

RainyDay

BLOCK YOUR VISION UP TO 92.5%

My information is that in fact, it could be up to 93% - I'm not really to sure I can believe that post so.

Neil Issagum

"Girls be carfull going around by yis are self I was walking around by the wring road in elesbury and a man was in a micra red car pulled up beside me and and stared at me and kept moving up beside me so I ran and standed into someone's garden who had a light on and he followed me in his car and got out and stared me out of it then he start walking towards me and I got a horrible fight so I ran on to me road but the man had a bag in his hand looking like he was trying to make it look like he was delevring ,, he waited until my door opened and he got in his car and drove of I was lucky I was on the phone to me dad when all this was happening but if I wasn't I don't know wha would of happened but then later my da was driving around and he saw him in his car but me da lost him just be careful girls im terrified now"

coolhull

Neil Issagum wrote: »

"Girls be carfull going around by yis are self I was walking around by the wring road in elesbury and a man was in a micra red car pulled up beside me and and stared at me and kept moving up beside me so I ran and standed into someone's garden who had a light on and he followed me in his car and got out and stared me out of it then he start walking towards me and I got a horrible fight so I ran on to me road but the man had a bag in his hand looking like he was trying to make it look like he was delevring ,, he waited until my door opened and he got in his car and drove of I was lucky I was on the phone to me dad when all this was happening but if I wasn't I don't know wha would of happened but then later my da was driving around and he saw him in his car but me da lost him just be careful girls im terrified now"

The fella in the car was probably her old English teacher, wondering how the fcuk he managed to waste so many years trying to teach her grammar and spelling

BaZmO*

Neil Issagum wrote: »

"Girls be carfull going around by yis are self I was walking around by the wring road in elesbury and a man was in a micra red car pulled up beside me and and stared at me and kept moving up beside me so I ran and standed into someone's garden who had a light on and he followed me in his car and got out and stared me out of it then he start walking towards me and I got a horrible fight so I ran on to me road but the man had a bag in his hand looking like he was trying to make it look like he was delevring ,, he waited until my door opened and he got in his car and drove of I was lucky I was on the phone to me dad when all this was happening but if I wasn't I don't know wha would of happened but then later my da was driving around and he saw him in his car but me da lost him just be careful girls im terrified now"

Poetry

cee_jay

MY 18 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND HER BOYFRIEND WERE BOOKED INTO A HOTEL IN THE CITY WITH MY MOM&I
FOR NEW YEARS EVE
A YOUNG QUIET HARD WORKING GIRL ,SAME WITH HER BOYFRIEND.
THEY NEVER GO OUT AND MY DAUGHTER DESERVES ALL HER HAPPINESS AFTER LOOSING HER GRANDA THAT SHE MISSES DREADFULLY.
THEY PROCEEDED TO THIS PLACE IN THE RAIN&COLD
AND GREETED BY THESE EMBASILS ON THE DOOR WHO EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT
WERE TOLD THAT IT WAS NOT HER ON HER AGE CARD.
HOW BLOODYWELL DARE YE RUIN MY DAUGHTERS ONLY NIGHT OUT
MAY GOD FORGIVE YE
DOING THIS TO LOYAL KINDHEARTED HUMAN BEINGS WAITING ALL YEAR FOR THIS SPECIFIC NIGHT
THERE WERE PEOPLE FROM ALL COUNTRIES SAILING IN PAST THEM.YER EVIL TO YER CORE...
TALKING ABOUT TAMPERING WITH YOUNG PEOPLES CONFIDENCE.!!!! BY GOD
ILL BE ISSUING A FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST THIS ESTABLISHMENT
AND DEMANDING AN APOLOGY FOR MY DAUGHTER
MY DAUGHTER IS A DECENT,QUIET HONEST LADY WHO NEVER DID A THING WRONG IN HER LIFE !!!!

Embasils

The casual racism in the comments of this post are also a "joy" to behold.

SteelyDanJalapeno

Neil Issagum wrote: »

"Girls be carfull going around by yis are self I was walking around by the wring road in elesbury and a man was in a micra red car pulled up beside me and and stared at me and kept moving up beside me so I ran and standed into someone's garden who had a light on and he followed me in his car and got out and stared me out of it then he start walking towards me and I got a horrible fight so I ran on to me road but the man had a bag in his hand looking like he was trying to make it look like he was delevring ,, he waited until my door opened and he got in his car and drove of I was lucky I was on the phone to me dad when all this was happening but if I wasn't I don't know wha would of happened but then later my da was driving around and he saw him in his car but me da lost him just be careful girls im terrified now"

Wring road

stephenl15

cee_jay wrote: »

Embasils

The casual racism in the comments of this post are also a "joy" to behold.

Her fairytale opinion of her daughter is ridiculous.

The Sun King

stephenl15 wrote: »

Her fairytale opinion of her daughter is ridiculous.

Daughter missed out on getting finger blasted in the smoking area tbf. How dare they deny her that!!

inforfun

cee_jay wrote: »

Embasils

The casual racism in the comments of this post are also a "joy" to behold.

A YOUNG QUIET HARD WORKING GIRL ,SAME WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

Boyfriend must be thrilled to find out on line that he is actually a young quiet hard working girl.

yerwanthere123

Not sure he said this
............JPG

siblers

Girl put up a status "feeling excited, using my beautiful mug I got for Christmas" followed by a video of the mug.
I'm actually stumped for words.

gutenberg

Saw a friend had liked a status saying 'It's my birthday today'.

The person had hidden their birthday on their profile. But still posted about it...

Loughc

siblers wrote: »

Girl put up a status "feeling excited, using my beautiful mug I got for Christmas" followed by a video of the mug.
I'm actually stumped for words.

I guess you could say she mugged you right off.

Valentina

Loughc wrote: »

I guess you could say she mugged you right off.

YEEAAHHH!!!

coolhull

siblers wrote: »

Girl put up a status "feeling excited, using my beautiful mug I got for Christmas" followed by a video of the mug.
I'm actually stumped for words.

Not really your cup of tea, eh?

mansize

I got one!

RE Celeb BB posted to cousin's post:
Dont watch dat geordie shore ****. Dere just ****in tramps
Like · Reply · 9 mins

Clair de Lune

Saw this shared today by a.. (ashamed to say) friend

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know:

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over.
2. When someone tells you that you're beautiful, believe them. They aren't lying.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill a goat.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would.
6. Don't look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself.
7. It's okay to not love every part of your body....but you should.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan.
10. You're a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. -Austin Blood

The passive aggressive feminism is strong in this one..

FreeFallin94

My God. A girl I am friends with on FB just posted this:

"He reels me in acting like d perfect man then sends me his dick twisted sick ****".

Tagged the guy she is referring to in the status, accompanied by relevant pictures of said dick...

She always puts up insane statuses /posts , but this isn't something I expected to see on my timeline :P Although she has actually done this before so I shouldn't be surprised, really.

Kovu

Could she not be reported for that? Surely posting photos of a lads do-da on FB comes under some invasion of privacy or something. Like revenge porn?

Clair de Lune

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

My God. A girl I am friends with on FB just posted this:

"He reels me in acting like d perfect man then sends me his dick twisted sick ****".

Tagged the guy she is referring to in the status, accompanied by relevant pictures of said dick...

She always puts up insane statuses /posts , but this isn't something I expected to see on my timeline :P Although she has actually done this before so I shouldn't be surprised, really.

She must have read point 9 on my list above:

9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan - or a recipient of willie pictures

coolhull

FreeFallin94 wrote: »

My God. A girl I am friends with on FB just posted this:

"He reels me in acting like d perfect man then sends me his dick twisted sick ****".

How the fcuk did he manage that?

FreeFallin94

Kovu wrote: »

Could she not be reported for that? Surely posting photos of a lads do-da on FB comes under some invasion of privacy or something. Like revenge porn?

Well the post has as of now been deleted from what I can tell. Either she was reported or she suddenly realised that what she had just done was an absolutely terrible idea.

I literally haven't a clue what goes through the minds of people who post stuff like that.

coolhull

Kovu wrote: »

Could she not be reported for that? Surely posting photos of a lads do-da on FB comes under some invasion of privacy or something. Like revenge porn?

Could he be identified by a photo of his d1ck?

Kovu

coolhull wrote: »

How the fcuk did he manage that?

Like this.

coolhull wrote: »

Could he be identified by a photo of his d1ck?

''Tagged the guy she is referring to in the status, accompanied by relevant pictures of said dick...''

PARlance

coolhull wrote: »

How the fcuk did he manage that?

Poked her.

corcaigh07

mfceiling wrote: »

Please call him out on this. The fcuking tripe that people post on social media is increasing constantly. It's about time stupidity is shown for what it is and the dopes are shown up.

Or, you know, stop using social media yourself?

Nobody is bound to Facebook.

mansize

I assume via tinder?

fullstop

Every idiot is now liking and sharing a letter supposedly written by Conor McGregor via facebook to Floyd Mayweather. Only problem is that's it's from a random account that has 582 new friends out of just over 600 and 1 profile picture with 1 like, therefore clearly not Conor McGregor.

Also, shout out to my aunt who keeps sharing pictures of random missing people from America from 2013 even though in the comments it says they were found dead, with loads of RIP posts :rolleyes:

mfceiling

corcaigh07 wrote: »

Or, you know, stop using social media yourself?

Nobody is bound to Facebook.

Not on Facebook myself thanks.

corner of hells

Another day another dolor morning .

A dolor morning ? Anyone ?

It took me awhile, but I got it.

mfceiling

corner of hells wrote: »

Another day another dolor morning .

A dolor morning ? Anyone ?

It took me awhile, but I got it.

Dull oul morning?

corner of hells

mfceiling wrote: »

Dull oul morning?

Nope , another dollar and good morning , I think.

RainyDay

corner of hells wrote: »

Another day another dolor morning .

A dolor morning ? Anyone ?

It took me awhile, but I got it.

Doler morning? Day in bed while drawing the dole?

The Sun King

RainyDay wrote: »

Doler morning? Day in bed while drawing the dole?

That was my thinking.

PopePalpatine

corner of hells wrote: »

Another day another dolor morning .

A dolor morning ? Anyone ?

It took me awhile, but I got it.

They're obviously a Game of Thrones fan trying to refer to Dolorous Edd. :pac:

Bandana boy

It's not true love until you swap genital photo's

BattleCorp

Bandana boy wrote: »

It's not true love until you swap genital photo's

Or genital warts. :pac:

Neil Issagum

"Kildare county council are one piece of scum rang me week before Christmas told me was accepted for a house go into council today she tells me she not giving it to me as it's a three bed my God the told half wanna make ya pull your hair out"

All the comments underneath......Don't mind tem hun.......the council won't do **** for you......the council are scum etc etc

Is it beyond these people's ability to even consider paying for their own rent or buying their own house. There's an army of them out there, and Facebook really puts them on show

yerwanthere123

"Bailed and put back til 3rd of March,but il be in fellowship by then so I might get no jail, even if I do I don't mind wouldn't be that long and Il get some reading done 😂 , someone harms someone in your family you do something about it it's that simple,Jesus u can't just not do nothing and let it slide what kind of man is that ??it could have been alot worse that day but I'm glad it didn't go that way. ‪#‎marcoomliscious‬ and I'm actually looking forward to fellowship!get me out of this wonderful town anyway. But along as I have my wonderful enchanting beautiful little daughter, I don't mind about nothing"

I'm sure his daughter is lucky to have him :eek:

coolhull

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

"Bailed and put back til 3rd of March,but il be in fellowship by then so I might get no jail, even if I do I don't mind wouldn't be that long and Il get some reading done 😂 , someone harms someone in your family you do something about it it's that simple,Jesus u can't just not do nothing and let it slide what kind of man is that ??it could have been alot worse that day but I'm glad it didn't go that way. ‪#‎marcoomliscious‬ and I'm actually looking forward to fellowship!get me out of this wonderful town anyway. But along as I have my wonderful enchanting beautiful little daughter, I don't mind about nothing"

I'm sure his daughter is lucky to have him :eek:

What fellowship would this be, that can keep someone out of jail?
Fellowship of the Sword?
Fellowship of the Magic Circle?
Fellowship of Senior Bankers?

wildlifeboy

fellowship of my ring

LynnGrace

Neil Issagum wrote: »

"Kildare county council are one piece of scum rang me week before Christmas told me was accepted for a house go into council today she tells me she not giving it to me as it's a three bed my God the told half wanna make ya pull your hair out"

I could figure out most of this, except 'the told half'?

yermandan

LynnGrace wrote: »

I could figure out most of this, except 'the told half'?

'They don't half'