Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

razorblunt

skittles8710 wrote: »

There's always some gems on Mother's Day. ..excited to see what today brings from the world of facebook

YES! Especially those folk putting fawning messages about their Mams whilst sitting down next to them on the couch head buried in their phones.

Owryan

TG1 wrote: »

It's started already, people wishing the happiest of mothers days to their amazing mothers who don't even know what Facebook is...

What is the point? Just phone them and say it to them, I know your 1000s of friends won't know you said it but your mother will....

Esp all the mammy's on fb in heaven

RhubarbCrumble

Spotted on FB: "Wishin a hapy motters day to al da amazin moms out dere"
Girl in question then proceeded to post a photo, not of her own mother, but of HERSELF! Amazing modest mother obviously.

yellowlabrador

Family are 3 feet deep in my memory, now I'm just waiting for them to bury me, I feel them coming for my dreams while I'm asleep - doesn't mean, u got one on me; coz my cards are facing up for everyone to see

a Mothers day message with a twist?

coolhull

yellowlabrador wrote: »

a Mothers day message with a twist?

Is it some sort of riddle?

Liam McPoyle

Girl I know posted a mothers day tribute to her deceased mother.

And tagged her deceased mother's Facebook profile in it.

dee_mc

Happy Mothers Day to my Bestie xXx ���� If Carlsberg did mothers they still couldn't top her humour and good heartedness blessed I am and hope to one day to be as good a mother ... Ah bless �� xXx
(and no, the mother doesn't use Facebook)

Loughc

"Happy Muthers Day to all me Muther Stunnaz Girlos, now lets go get pissed"

Tagged about 10 other "Muthers" and posted at 1pm.

Sure isn't that what mother's day is all about.


Another classic yesterday was a girl posted up a video showing how spoilt she got yesterday from her fella and her kid, and in the video her toddler can be heard shout "Mam, mam, mam" to which she replies. "STOP will ya, Mammy's busy making a video" and to the camera she goes, "Jesus he's always at me"

Ah yea mothers of the year right there.

StripedBoxers

Came across this status this morning.

Her with her big swampy goul should be ashamed of herself. Who is she to call amybody anything filthy whore robbin ould people. With married men who have children. With everybodys boyfriend. Wudn mind ur fat obese bellly. Up on hairy larrys. When u was 15 or 16 u was down the country selling yourself. Literally nothing but a prostitute. She is so evil words cant describe. She'll never have a days luck. Red rotten whore she after been with so many people since a very young age even sellin herself n has cheek call other people whores! Gives everybodys life torture i hope u take a stroke or overdose god forgive me. She going to hell in a handbag. Red rotten prostitue. ‪#‎burntout‬

dee_mc

'going to hell in a handbag'
Brilliant!

b_mac2

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Came across this status this morning.

Vote now, fee euthanasia for stupid people #purgeFB

yellowlabrador

Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes. But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”. Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator (and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) are thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”

She's middle aged.

kunst nugget

yellowlabrador wrote: »

She's middle aged.

It's a Timothy Leary quote. Grand to put up when you're 19 and you've taken some crappy acid you bought off your mate who got it off that weird fella in college that kind of smells like poo and you've decided to be ultra spiritual for the month because you've like seen behind the facade, man. Any older than that and you look like an utter dipstick…

thesandeman

StripedBoxers wrote: »

Came across this status this morning.

That's actually almost legible at first read :O

nikpmup

Fcks sake.

rawn

"If there is any museum on my bucket list it's The Louvre....����☕��things to look forward too one day ‪#‎historyporn‬"

Not that dumb or anything but she is a Full Time Mad Mammy that posts about 5 statuses like this a day to show how deep she is.

One of the replies made me laugh though

"Moan Lisa is so small"

Maximus Alexander

nikpmup wrote: »

Fcks sake.

What's this 'cancer' they speak of?

yerwanthere123

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

What's this 'cancer' they speak of?

Had no idea until I saw the above post. Looked it up myself and it's actually a really serious disease, who knew! Thanks Teddy!!!1!

sligojoek

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Had no idea until I saw the above post. Looked it up myself and it's actually a really serious disease, who knew! Thanks Teddy!!!1!

It's not all that serious, really.

Just type amen and you're sorted. I'd rather that than the common cold.

yerwanthere123

Wise words

We need nt to tlk abt diz shid when
u said we wer yung.y dd u accept
our ‪#‎pros‬..f*ck de hell outta u.‪#‎Bae‬.
‪#‎Bitchez_ain‬'t_shid..
‪#‎Madakraa_empire‬..
‪#‎youforknw‬..
youalreadyknw..

Shannon757

‪#‎Madakraa_empire‬..
What?

Big Nasty

Shannon757 wrote: »

‪#‎Madakraa_empire‬..
What?

You understood the rest of it!?! :eek:

maudgonner

Big Nasty wrote: »

You understood the rest of it!?! :eek:

You know the way the security services used to recruit operatives by setting really hard crossword puzzles in the newspapers?

Is there any chance they've moved on to using Facebook these days? 'Cause these would stump most cryptographers, I reckon.

Shannon757

Big Nasty wrote: »

You understood the rest of it!?! :eek:

No I got none of that but I was just stumped with that one.

maudgonner

Shannon757 wrote: »

No I got none of that but I was just stumped with that one.

Google reckons Madakraa is a hippedy-hop musicman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ir5G886G_o8

Neil Issagum

"Boom....tats meeee" Accompanied by a photo of Marilyn Monroe quoting 'I can be as high maintenance as I want to be, no one pays my bills but me'

Ironic as she's on 'the sick'

mansize

Hit like if you are proud of all your children...

I couldn't - he's a great kid and all but Billy is a bit to dim witted...

Who the fcuk doesn't like their kids... And how is liking them an achievement???

tupenny

"Tryn kip bsyd Mr trumpidy trump trump here. Do's all peeps be givn scuthery fartin in there sleeps. Rottin yoke " - feeling angry

brandnewaward

tupenny wrote: »

"Tryn kip bsyd Mr trumpidy trump trump here. Do's all peeps be givn scuthery fartin in there sleeps. Rottin yoke " - feeling angry

after about 5 mins , i figured out it wasn't a donald trump related status

John_D80

Probably mentioned before but anyone who posts:

''Ah shur it'd be rude not to.......'' Alongside a picture of an alchoholic drink or a picture of them holding an alchoholic drink.

Its been done mate. 20,000,000 times already.

joeguevara

John_D80 wrote: »

Probably mentioned before but anyone who posts:

''Ah shur it'd be rude not to.......'' Alongside a picture of an alchoholic drink or a picture of them holding an alchoholic drink.

Its been done mate. 20,000,000 times already.

Its been said mate. 20,000,000 times already. And it is alcoholic!

kunst nugget

joeguevara wrote: »

And it is alcoholic!

Not if you're Santa Claus!

Chris_Bradley

"If indeed we didn't land on our moon, which moon did we land on though"

yellowlabrador

Oh well looks like i have been dumped yet again back on the shelf ... thank god for horses ... i was your bitch and now ime mine haha x

Followed by several motivational cards with messages about taming women and being wild. Now she's back to worshipping her touareg.

John_D80

joeguevara wrote: »

Its been said mate. 20,000,000 times already. And it is alcoholic!

Correcting spellings now? Good man. :rolleyes:

joeguevara

John_D80 wrote: »

Correcting spellings now? Good man. :rolleyes:

Well if you are calling a post dumb, you might make sure that you have everything spelled correctly. Couple that with the fact that you were slagging someone off for posting something that has been posted many times before, when in fact your post has been posted on this forum countless times, it is quite funny!

Fame and Demise

yellowlabrador wrote: »

Followed by several motivational cards with messages about taming women and being wild. Now she's back to worshipping her touareg.

Who needs a fella when you have a horse? That doesn't sound right :eek:

ronjo

joeguevara wrote: »

Well if you are calling a post dumb, you might make sure that you have everything spelled correctly. Couple that with the fact that you were slagging someone off for posting something that has been posted many times before, when in fact your post has been posted on this forum countless times, it is quite funny!

But you are not

John_D80

joeguevara wrote: »

Well if you are calling a post dumb, you might make sure that you have everything spelled correctly. Couple that with the fact that you were slagging someone off for posting something that has been posted many times before, when in fact your post has been posted on this forum countless times, it is quite funny!

Mustn't take much to amuse you!!!

Glad I could be of service.

coolhull

tupenny wrote: »

"Tryn kip bsyd Mr trumpidy trump trump here. Do's all peeps be givn scuthery fartin in there sleeps. Rottin yoke " - feeling angry

That's obviously not Donald Trump. He wouldnt say anything as sensible as that

joeguevara

John_D80 wrote: »

Mustn't take much to amuse you!!!

Glad I could be of service.

Thank You.

Gerinspain

This from a relation

"I guess you finally realise your Marriage is over when your rude bloody Husband unfriends you on facebook.I wasn't aware I was a Racist, British Supremacist, Muslin Hating, Homophobic, Trump lover........who knew!!!!!"

One like from her sister and one comment expressing confusion...

Shrap

Gerinspain wrote: »

Muslin Hating

Damn those Victorian expectations that we should all make jam and be good little wifeys! Totally with her on this one. I swear, can you FIND muslin these days? No, you CANNOT. :mad:

MonkstownHoop

Gerinspain wrote: »

This from a relation

"I guess you finally realise your Marriage is over when your rude bloody Husband unfriends you on facebook.I wasn't aware I was a Racist, British Supremacist, Muslin Hating, Homophobic, Trump lover........who knew!!!!!"

One like from her sister and one comment expressing confusion...

+1 for expressing confusion

TitianGerm

MonkstownHoop wrote: »

+1 for expressing confusion

I'm guessing the husband unfriended her because she shares all that ****e.

The Randy Riverbeast

There's an Irish anti migrant Facebook page which has a picture of a Viking as its profile picture. The irony must be lost on them.

maximoose

emmetkenny wrote: »

I'm guessing the husband unfriended her because she shares all that ****e.

Rookie error, unfollow relations - unfriending raises suspicion.

mansize

maximoose wrote: »

Rookie error, unfollow relations - unfriending raises suspicion.

Restricted and unfollowed- where all the dodgy relations go!

Riesen_Meal

http://i.imgur.com/lIaUBRv.jpg

Captain Obvious here....

Gamer Bhoy 89

My cousin wrote up on Facebook last week "Finally. After a long tough road. I am finally a member of Deise Buy n Sell"

He got 28 Likes....

I've been on Kilkenny Things For Sale for 4 years and I didn't get so much as a Fruit Pastille.