Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

robarmstrong

jimmii wrote: »

The ex-boyfriend is in a relationship with the same ex-boyfriend? Now that is one Jeremy Kyle would like to get his hands on!

I'll rephrase unnamed sap to "stun hun"!

Riesen_Meal

Lad : I hav a rant, dis cuuuuuuuunt "laydy c" she is a basturd, I rest my cayse, ya horibel stuk up cünt, ders shoyt arownd ur Nek coz ya hav ur hed up ur arss

Reply 1 : lady cünt

Reply 2 : capital cūnt

Lad : Shees de gee of all gee bags pal

Reply 3 : What s up pal?

Lad : Coz shees a stuk up cünt, do ya wach dat selebrity get me owt of heer, fukin geebag, I howp her gowldfish doys,ooopppsss, sow fukin wat, shees a tramp rant owver

BattleCorp

Fieldog wrote: »

Lad : I hav a rant, dis cuuuuuuuunt "laydy c" she is a basturd, I rest my cayse, ya horibel stuk up cünt, ders shoyt arownd ur Nek coz ya hav ur hed up ur arss

Reply 1 : lady cünt

Reply 2 : capital cūnt

Lad : Shees de gee of all gee bags pal

Reply 3 : What s up pal?

Lad : Coz shees a stuk up cünt, do ya wach dat selebrity get me owt of heer, fukin geebag, I howp her gowldfish doys,ooopppsss, sow fukin wat, shees a tramp rant owver

Ah no, not the gowldfish.

Toto Wolfcastle

Fieldog wrote: »

selebrity get me owt of heer

Can't say I disagree with them though.

gimmick

ToRamona wrote: »

A friend recently had a death in the family which she posted on facebook, I though it was a bit weird as it was very personal. She followed up with a second post to update people.
Is it just me that thinks this is inappropriate? Why would you be bothered with FB at such a sad time in the first place.

I rarely use FB so perhaps its the norm for people to do this.

Has anyone done this?

An elderly in law died a few years ago. She had 25-30 grandkids majority of whom were 20+ when she died. Facebook over the enxt few days was actually quite amusing with each of them trying to "out tribute" the other. Poems were written, photoshopped pictures of her with Jesus were used. But to top it all of the one which really got me was from one of her grandsons

"Jesus Christ, Valazquez pretty much fúcking killed Dos santos. Incredible".

anewme

anthony made his horse a jacket wit hyviz he is nuts lol he said to me" he be nice an warm mam, ppl wont get a fright cause dy will see him in d dark" i swear he is off his trolly . nuts

retalivity

The fact i share an island with these people is slightly unnerving...

jimbobaloobob

Facebook has the world mangled

Ice Storm

anewme wrote: »

anthony made his horse a jacket wit hyviz he is nuts lol he said to me" he be nice an warm mam, ppl wont get a fright cause dy will see him in d dark" i swear he is off his trolly . nuts

When I deciphered this I first thought it was quite cute - what's not to like about a horse in a hi-vis jacket?

Then it occurred to me that the horse is quite likely to be one of those living on a green in a housing estate and it made me sad.

gutenberg

"Wrap your fellas tonight guys, every woman in the country is seriously broody after 2 hours of the Late Late Toy Show."

haveringchick

Poor Sinead O'Connor has been having a very public implosion on Facebook for the last 72 hours
She seems to be entirely alone in the world
How very sad

pc7

haveringchick wrote: »

Poor Sinead O'Connor has been having a very public implosion on Facebook for the last 72 hours
She seems to be entirely alone in the world
How very sad

Very sad, should be an option to close pages when people are unwell.

Cantona's Collars

So many lols.

http://badsentinel.com/2015/11/29/sometimes-you-cant-fix-stupid-on-facebook-26-photos/

corner of hells

Any one no of any gud local child care? Per-fare one to one and not crèche

Anyone ?

arayess

gutenberg wrote: »

"Wrap your fellas tonight guys, every woman in the country is seriously broody after 2 hours of the Late Late Toy Show."

probably not bad advice

coolhull

corner of hells wrote: »

Any one no of any gud local child care? Per-fare one to one and not crèche

Someone who can spell would have an advantage

gimmick

Christ. Imagine when these people have to check on their kids spellings and homework and stuff!!!

We are doomed.

jimmii

corner of hells wrote: »

Any one no of any gud local child care? Per-fare one to one and not crèche

Anyone ?

I bet they thought oooh I'll whip out the è so I look intelligent.

jimmii

coolhull wrote: »

Someone who can spell would have an advantage

Probably not as this person is likely to struggle communicating with their per-fact spelling.

Loughc

gimmick wrote: »

Christ. Imagine when these people have to check on their kids spellings and homework and stuff!!!

We are doomed.

We'll be fine, as I imagine the kids will be able to use spell checkers better than their parents can spell.

BattleCorp

Loughc wrote: »

We'll be fine, as I imagine the kids will be able to use spell checkers better than their parents can spell.

The kids will be too lazy to use it.

PTH2009

im sure we have all that friend on facebook who is in his 60's/70's who adds everyone and posts up nonsense and old photos .

cant forget the posts where people put up pictures of there 'well deserved spa day/weekend'.

cantdecide

A whinge not a status...

Dear aunty K: since joining FB have you encountered anything that you haven't shared?

EDIT: 135 shared items in 24 hours. Seriously, I love you but fcuk off like.

mightyreds

Seen a post from someone today that she fell asleep on her pillow with her phone and her charger plugged into an extension lead underneath and the pillow and charger went on fire among all the you ok huns there was a comment, "it's those chargers hun xx" and the reply "I know hun"

martyos121

Charjers goin on fier

Telpis

readyletsgo

mightyreds wrote: »

Seen a post from someone today that she fell asleep on her pillow with her phone and her charger plugged into an extension lead underneath and the pillow and charger went on fire among all the you ok huns there was a comment, "it's those chargers hun xx" and the reply "I know hun"

Sorry, but, punctuation hun xx

yerwanthere123

WARNING EVERYBODY: New hackers on Facebook and what they write is aggression from you and it's insulting. It's really nasty and it appears to come from you. You do not see it, but your friends do. One result of this can be that you will be deleted on your friends list. I just want to say, if you get something that is offensive, malicious, vulgar, etc., it is ABSOLUTELY NOT from me! Copy this and let your friends know. If you get anything like this from me, please tell me and report it immediately to Facebook. Apparently it can come in messages too.
PLEASE do NOT share! COPY AND PASTE X

Omg!!1!

fima

"As for rats who was the ones to get off with the whole family had to jump me cause the horses teeth the bike of the whole country that has kids from her own cousins fella cudnt get this Lil cute chipmunk down but tat ain't been forgotten about either as for junkies hahahaha who calls people on a Thursday yer own looking for stuff wen there junkie tramps are gone to town that's riding everything horses face u shud have swinging doors cause ur known as a dirty smelly out n out tramp the bike of the place so the hole place is talking about ye my mother is a proper mother she ain't no tramp we ain't like ye atal yer the ratting basturds I cudnt care who ye show this to I'm still up in court over what ye done in front of my kids but ye walked away Scot free WONDER WHY.... we looks after our kids we don't have jockeys r smack head around our kids and anything r kids wants they get and yer animals robs n takes um n bates um but I've enough off it ye had to rob my nephews new Christmas clothes n runners n Lil boys n a baby toys and the same with mine and even took food out off a frezzer LOL ye need um more than us so yer the ones tutoring clipped hips there ain't no lies it all the truth ye did it when my NAME was a baby and now my new Lil baby girl NAME do ye think for one minute I'm gonna leave anything happen my kids again nooooo ****ing WAY !!!!"

Names removed.

"If ye had one brain cell in yer heads it would be lonely cause it wud be the only one so wat 2 5s makes 12 seems ye have no brains cells in yer heads I will answer it for ye = it is 5am to 5pm makes 12 hours clockwise so in other words is just a matter of time think that one out yahhh hahahaha"

mahoganygas

fima wrote:

"As for rats who was the ones to get off with the whole family had to jump me cause the horses teeth the bike of the whole country that has kids from her own cousins fella cudnt get this Lil cute chipmunk down but tat ain't been forgotten about either as for junkies hahahaha who calls people on a Thursday yer own looking for stuff wen there junkie tramps are gone to town that's riding everything horses face u shud have swinging doors cause ur known as a dirty smelly out n out tramp the bike of the place so the hole place is talking about ye my mother is a proper mother she ain't no tramp we ain't like ye atal yer the ratting basturds I cudnt care who ye show this to I'm still up in court over what ye done in front of my kids but ye walked away Scot free WONDER WHY.... we looks after our kids we don't have jockeys r smack head around our kids and anything r kids wants they get and yer animals robs n takes um n bates um but I've enough off it ye had to rob my nephews new Christmas clothes n runners n Lil boys n a baby toys and the same with mine and even took food out off a frezzer LOL ye need um more than us so yer the ones tutoring clipped hips there ain't no lies it all the truth ye did it when my NAME was a baby and now my new Lil baby girl NAME do ye think for one minute I'm gonna leave anything happen my kids again nooooo ****ing WAY !!!!"

That was marvellous.

coolhull

Can someone please translate the above for me. From what Ican gather, it ewould make a great movie. I just need to have the plot explained to me. I'm picturing Angelina in the lead role, with maybe playing the role of "Horse's Teeth" played by Tom Cruise.
This movie could be a blockbuster, if only we could make head or tail of the plot