Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

mynameis905

fussyonion wrote: »

"Why o why do kids always wanta use the tiolet when yer after asking them do they want to use it???? out in the square today with caitlin and asked her BE4 WE LEFT if she wanta use the toliet and she was mammy i dont i dont right grand we left and wear only in the fcukin door at boots and its mammy mammy i need the tyla caitlin for fcuk sake im after askin ya BE4ORE WE LEFT!!!! So then im in smyths breakin me arms carryin toys and fcukin owl 1s gettin in the way as usual wit their throllies and then again mammy mammy i need the tyla!! if i didnt no any better id swear the child had systitis. 4 times she ended up goin and now im frazzled and there;ll be mcdonalds for the dinner cos theres no way in fcuk im cooking tonight, james will have to swing for his crispy pancakes. #happyfcukinchristmas"

I'm more surprised by the crispy pancakes in this story. I thought they became extinct sometime in the late 80s?

gutenberg

mynameis905 wrote: »

I'm more surprised by the crispy pancakes in this story. I thought they became extinct sometime in the late 80s?

I googled them as I'd never heard of them before, and found this genius recipe

inforfun

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

Hrududu

Nothing is more painful than watching someone at the end of their life or loose their life because of cancer. Trying to look good, but after chemo and radiation ... you know the person is physically changed and they're in shock!! I know many of you do not give a hoot about this message because, of course, the cancer has not touched you.You do not know what it's like to have fought the fight or had a loved one who leads a battle against cancer. For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favour and only some of you will do it... If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, please add this to your status for one hour as a mark of respect and remembrance .
Copy and paste to support victims and families affected by cancer.
From your phone or tablet, Hold your finger on the message to copy and paste on your page. Please no tagging or sharing.

This one is forever posting similar statuses and they are always urging you to copy paste rather than share. Buts it's the passive aggressive sh1te in bold that annoys me

JustShon

Hrududu wrote: »

Buts it's the passive aggressive sh1te in bold that annoys me

It's just like those "Comment if you love your mother. Ignore if you want her to die." things I keep seeing.

kunst nugget

inforfun wrote: »

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

I'm crying in work reading through those comments. Absolutely brilliant…

inforfun

kunst nugget wrote: »

I'm crying in work reading through those comments. Absolutely brilliant…

Yep, had some strange looks here too

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Fairly sure this person wasn't being serious but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the people liking it didn't realise

Lads storm Desmond has just been fabricated by the government and the media to distract us from what's going on in Syria pay no mind

dreamers75

inforfun wrote: »

It is all in the comments



https://www.facebook.com/GMPWiganEast/posts/855896057841316:0

gone

inforfun

dreamers75 wrote: »

gone

Original with some of the best comments

dee_mc

I don't like having a large number of friends, in fact I do not accept some.
Others I've deleted over time, due to the way they do things and some inappropriate comments.
I don't have the figures, but the facts! So, I have chosen the best solution.
I am happy to have you because you are among my best of Thee Best.
Now I am going to see who will take the time to read this post until the end.
I'm curious to see who takes care of the BOND that I'm trying to create.
Thank you for being a part of my life.
Copy and paste this onto your page, PLEASE DO NOT 'share'.
This is a little test, just to see who reads and those who share only without reading!
If you have read everything, select 'like' and then copy and paste into your profile, so I can put a comment 'smile.'
To copy just touch the post and when the word copy pops up, touch it and go to your status and tap till it says paste then touch paste.

Nobody will do it - nobody ever replies to her when she posts this sort of tripe - I can't imagine why!

Toots

RainyDay wrote: »

From a relatively normal American cousin, mid-level manager in an insurance business over there;

THANK YOU, MARK ZUCKERBERG, for your forward-thinking generosity! And congrats on becoming a dad!
Mark Zuckerberg has announced that he is giving away $45 billion of Facebook stock. What you may not have heard is that he plans to give 10% of it away to people like YOU and ME! All you have to do is copy and paste this message into a post IMMEDIATELY and tag 5-10 of your friends. At midnight PST, Facebook will search through the day's posts and award 1000 people with $4.5 million EACH as a way of saying thank you for making Facebook such a powerful vehicle for connection and philanthropy.
I hope someone I know gets a piece of the pie--let me know if you do!!!
First of all Mark, FB is an amazing invention and such a great way to stay in touch w/family and friends...so thank you!!!

It took about an hour for a friend to post the link to the snopes debunking.

Two people (one male and one female) who I used to work with post this sort of thing regularly. Both of them would be quite high up in the company we worked for, one senior management, one middle, and both who I would have considered very intelligent people. I'm not sure are they both just insanely gullible, or insanely broke/desperate, but any post where there's even a whiff of money/ipad/car/something completely implausible being given away, and they're sharing it all over the place.

GAAman

Guess what type of group shared this gem, bearing in mind Merkel was born in 1954....

jimmii

GAAman wrote: »

Guess what type of group shared this gem, bearing in mind Merkel was born in 1954....

Guessing its one of those local knitting groups. They just can't but seek controversy. There's one thats like the Westboro Baptist Church of knitting constantly at it.

Lucyfur

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

jimmii

Lucyfur wrote: »

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

At first I was like :eek:. Then I realised.

coolhull

jimmii wrote: »

Lucyfur wrote: »

Lots of people are raping their Christmas presents again this year.

At first I was like :eek:. Then I realised.

But I still don't get it??

Diamond Doll

coolhull wrote: »

But I still don't get it??

Raping, Wrapping

coolhull

Diamond Doll wrote: »

coolhull wrote: »

But I still don't get it??

Raping, Wrapping

Oh right. Thanks Diamond.
I suppose its just that I'm not used to seeing words mis- spelled on Facebook

jimmii

coolhull wrote: »

Oh right. Thanks Diamond.
It's just that I'm not used to seeing words mis- spelled on Facebook

Someone somewhere will be doing it to colon anal.

Spoopy

"Watching a film nothing elts to be at"

Lisha

Elts ...... Elts

For 'else'

I think this maybe be proof that the phonics system is damaging when people stop learning aged 8.

Heckler

inforfun wrote: »

Original with some of the best comments

Brave people with their comments. Guess they are all flawless. Lets see some of the commentators post a picture of themselves. Damn easy to make fun of people from behind a monitor and keyboard.

And yes. I'm ok hun xx before that hilarious reply.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Absolutely ****en buzzin for later on cnt wait to go out have a few scoops knock the head of some noobs and wattch the fight

fussyonion

"so while daddys off on his 12 pubs of xmas me rhiannon and josh are goin to make are own plans. 1st chipper dinner sausage batter chips spicebag probaly chicken balls mm thinkin bout dat all week and the kids deserve a treat. make rice kirspy cakes get munchys popcorn taytos jellies after the chips dinner stick on santy clause the movie chillax or as theyr all sayin now netflix n chill wit are munchys cant beat it love xmas love weekends love spendin time with me babies. dont come back 2 early git cos its a mammy n kids nite only!!"

Half an hour later:

"josh says mammy can i have milk wit me dinner. milk i says but if ya have milk there wil be none left for your coca pops in the morning so why dont ya have coke like rhiannon. mammy i want milk so now ive to walk in the fkin rain to get milk. fkin kids drive ya to drink sometimes"

Ah yeah, sure how dare the little darling demand something like milk when he could be having the much healthier Coca-Cola? :rolleyes:

I'll keep you updated on any more of this riveting Saturday night in.

RainyDay

fussyonion wrote: »

I'll keep you updated on any more of this riveting Saturday night in.

This warrants a longitudinal study. Could we please get yearly updates on Josh & Rhiannon's health, BMI, ADHD etc?

jimmii

Not sure what's worse that insane sounding amount of calories for what sound like quite young kids or the massively inappropriate use of Netflix and chill. Someone really needs to tell her what it's come to mean!

coolhull

And can we get Leo Varadker to commission a report on the eating habits of children during the 'twelve pubs' countdown?

Yeah_Right

Heckler wrote: »

Brave people with their comments. Guess they are all flawless. Lets see some of the commentators post a picture of themselves. Damn easy to make fun of people from behind a monitor and keyboard.

And yes. I'm ok hun xx before that hilarious reply.

Did someone get picked on a bit as a child due to their ears sticking out?

thesandeman

fussyonion wrote: »

"netflix n chill wit are munchys"

Food porn?