Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Neil Issagum

It's all there in the square!

>Photos of someone's neck with what looks like a few scratches from a kitten

"No pictures of me face just scummy security in the square strangled me to bits hit girls nal family going down now can everyone share this please"

Comments underneath

"What security is it , Coz I was there few weeks ago and he started pushing me out of the square and calling me a tramp nal"

Kovu

And here we see the evolution of txt spk in it's natural habitat.
''And all' has now progressed from 'anal' into it's final form; nal.

Neil Issagum

Kovu wrote: »

And here we see the evolution of txt spk in it's natural habitat.
''And all' has now progressed from 'anal' into it's final form; nal.

The film 'Idiocracy' is slowly but surely coming true

Neil Issagum

Neil Issagum wrote: »

It's all there in the square!

>Photos of someone's neck with what looks like a few scratches from a kitten

"No pictures of me face just scummy security in the square strangled me to bits hit girls nal family going down now can everyone share this please"

Comments underneath

"What security is it , Coz I was there few weeks ago and he started pushing me out of the square and calling me a tramp nal"

More wise words in the replies:

"Scumbags,there's one dyke down there iswell absolute knackers they are"

"Omg go to the Gardas"

"Hope ur alright they heat me before to"

"OH man it's the fella I hit a punch last week he's a scum bag hate the chap so much"

jimmii

In the square they always get you anal.

MonkstownHoop

Neil Issagum wrote: »

More wise words in the replies:

"Scumbags,there's one dyke down there iswell absolute knackers they are"

"Omg go to the Gardas"

"Hope ur alright they heat me before to"

"OH man it's the fella I hit a punch last week he's a scum bag hate the chap so much"

"there gonna be kilt"
Then amazingly
"*they're"

pc7

The poor security staff in the square aren't paid enough by the sounds of things!

Lucyfur

"..So 4 hours from now. ..a few people are supposed to be blessed with the following gift smile emoticon Can't wait to see who the winners are tonight. Facebook Mark Zuckerberg is going to give away 4.5 million shares of his Facebook stock tonight at midnight; 10% to people like you and me! All you have to do is copy and paste this to your page and post. Facebook is doing this to show what a powerful tool of connection it is !!! Can't wait to see who wins !!! This is not a hoax !!! It's on Good Morning America !!"

Posted by TWO friends. Jesus focking Christ.

gutenberg

'“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****!” I hope to see every girl on my friends list repost this (only the brave will)'

Where to even start...

sligojoek

gutenberg wrote: »

Where to even start...

I'm going to put that on my own facebook for the laugh.

The Randy Riverbeast

gutenberg wrote: »

Where to even start...

'“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****!” I hope to see every girl on my friends list repost this (only the brave will)'

Heh heh heh

gutenberg

sligojoek wrote: »

I'm going to put that on my own facebook for the laugh.

One of the comments underneath was genius though: 'If you give me sperm, I will give you a RESTRAINING ORDER!'.

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

'“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****!” I hope to see every girl on my friends list repost this (only the brave will)'

Heh heh heh

Heehee, that was my reaction (one among many) too...

coolhull

gutenberg wrote: »

Where to even start...

If you give her your credit card details she'll give you a day out in the bankruptcy court

whatismyname

"i told my son iv got lung cancer and i havent"

One comment in response: 'What???'

Reply from OP: 'My son put this up! All I said was I am going for an X Ray'

Gunslinger92

Just seen someone type "ju" in place of "did you" ...

Torricelli

"fewmin :mad:"

yerwanthere123

Season's Greetings from Macroom

God this town is chronic,last night some fella sh*ts on the floor in the middle of JC'S, some girl and a fella practicly having sex in the oriadas car park, and an old man bouncer fighting a skinny youngfella (talk about professional) a fat youngfella about 3and a half foot tall spent a half hour drunkenly giving me advise about training and how to fight 😂 but I let him talk away being polite as I am,deluded!!!everyone was going on about fighting and this and that,God I never heard so much bullsh*t in all my life, people need to relax and a so called fight happened out on the road and I swear to God it looked like they wher trying to rape one and other 😂 slapless simpletons around this place 😂 I just observe and laugh like I'm at the monkey section at the zoo.but going back to the guy who shat on the floor, who the f*ck does that????? I don't care how drunk you are, there's a white hard thing with water in it that you sit on called a toilet 🚽 that's wher humans Normaly go when they need a sh*t, try it no audience either.

Guy:Incognito

facebook wrote:

Man in Ireland named Joe earns €500 gross a week. Sounds ok doesn't it?
Read this & then decide:
So: Joe Earned €500 Gross pay but it was Taxed €148 (29.6%) so his Net Income (take home pay) = €352 (Source: Price Waterhouse Cooper taxation specialists)

On his way home from work on Friday evening he thought he'd better fill his car with petrol as he needs to be able to drive to work next week so puts in €80 of petrol (of which €46.96 or 58.7% is tax & duty. Source: Revenue.ie)

He feels a bit unwell and hopes he isn't coming down with something so realises he will need to keep his flat warm as it doesn't have central heating. He decides he'll have to buy 2 Bags of coal as he can't afford to get sick. They're expensive @ €19.50 each, but he tells himself it's a necessary expense (€39 of which Carbon tax is €4.80 and Vat €7.29 = €12.09 taxes or 31%. Source: Greenheat.ie)
He worries that he hasn't brought his girlfriend out on a night out for several months and he didn't call her yesterday or today as his phone ran out of credit. He hasn't spoken much to anyone for that matter other than work related people. He decides he'd better top up his mobile phone so he can at least keep in contact with his girlfriend and call his family. He tops his phone up by €50
(Vat €11.50 or 23%) and while he is at the counter sees a special offer of €10 for a bottle of wine or 2 for €18. He figures if he can't afford to bring his girlfriend out for a meal, he'll cook her a special one and treat him and her to the wine so chooses one red and one white for €18 (Duty & Vat = €9.72 or 54% tax. Source: ABFI)
He wonders if there are any decent movies on TV and decides to buy the weekend edition newspapers which has all the extra supplements and a TV guide included. He worries at spending the €3.20 on it as its not a strictly necessary expense, but then thinks.. Hey, I deserve to treat myself to a lousy newspaper, don't I?! (Vat @ 23% = 60c)

The cashier tots up the bill and asks him for a total of €190.20.
Joe hands over his bank debit card with a sense of worry, trying to do a mental calculation as to what will be left in his account, and quickly works out it will be about €160.
His landlord will be expecting the rent tomorrow morning of €100.
Joe mentally calculates that he only has €60 to live on and pay other bills such as food, electricity, car tax, car insurance, his anti-depressant medication prescription etc. He worries that his car needs new tyres, he needs a decent pair of shoes for work, and Christmas is only 4 weeks away. His car will need its yearly NCT inspection in January too! He tries to figure out some way in which he can survive financially and sits down with a pen and paper to look at his income & expenditure.
It is then he realises that after he had already paid 29.6% of his Gross income on taxes, he had just been taxed a further 42.5% of indirect taxes on the already taxed income he used to make this evenings purchases. He has just had 72% of his earnings taken off him in taxes, leaving him barely able to survive. Joe thought about his position and came to the conclusion that in order to be able to eat this week he will have to forego his medication as he simply cannot afford it. He feels a real sense of despair and hopelessness. He can see no hope or chance of a normal future where he can get married, buy a home, raise a family. What can he offer? He can barely survive himself, yet most people consider him well off as he has a job and drives a car. He knows he is one pay packet away from becoming homeless. This fear lives inside him constantly, and he senses it is an underlying force fuelling his depression..
THIS IS THE REALITY FOR COUNTLESS 1000's OF IRISH CITIZENS TODAY.
The ordinary citizens are being squeezed for every last cent in taxes to pay for a corrupt system that has failed the Irish people but serves the banks and those who created the financial collapse of our economy. Not one banker has been jailed, but countless thousands have been for debts they cannot afford to pay.
Thousands more have lost their homes and the Govt continues to turn a blind eye. Welcome to Ireland 2015.

This is proof that people will lap up any sort of sob story. 4500 shares apparently. Sure isnt the evil government out to drive us all to be on the streets.

Joe should learn about tax credits , because when I put the figures in to a tax calculator (I actually did use PWC's one) , Joe should only be paying €70 a week in tax. €50 a week is probably a bit much to spend on credit too if hes that stuck. Maybe lay off the sex lines if hes milling through that much.
http://download.pwc.com/ie/budget-2016/result.html?status=1&grosssalary=26000&spousesalary=0&salary2=0&age=&salary3=0&prsicategory=1&pensions=&investments=&otherincome=&companycarvalue=&mileage=0&healthbik=&healthadult=0&healthchild=0&clubsbik=&otherbik=&prefloanmortgage=N&mortgagerelief=N&firsttimebuyer=N&loaninterestpaid=&loaninterestrate=&propertyband=0&localauth=0&Submit=Calculate+My+Tax

dollyk

only pollish and lituanians working in lidl and aldi
always go to de irish ppl at de till to give the irish me busness.


next post . gd on yer de irish need mor like ya:eek:

The mind boggles serious.

dollyk

coolhull wrote: »

"Mackregor fite lastid about aslong as Mick Walces jail sentanse"

ha ha PMSL:P

Frank Grimes

dollyk wrote: »

only pollish and lituanians working in lidl and aldi
always go to de irish ppl at de till to give the irish me busness.


next post . gd on yer de irish need mor like ya:eek:

The mind boggles serious.

Do they think the staff get to keep the contents of the till at the end of their shifts? Or am I just trying to delve too much into the minds of idiots?

Guy:Incognito

dollyk wrote: »

only pollish and lituanians working in lidl and aldi
always go to de irish ppl at de till to give the irish me busness.


next post . gd on yer de irish need mor like ya:eek:

The mind boggles serious.

They're all independent contractors.:pac:

fineso.mom

I don't know. Looks like a regular cute little newborn to me.

Kovu

fineso.mom wrote: »

I don't know. Looks like a regular cute little newborn to me.

Lol, what was she trying to say?? Unreal?

Whosthis

Neil Issagum wrote: »

The film 'Idiocracy' is slowly but surely coming true

Am I the only poster that sees the unintended irony in this.

YungKeo

Can't beat a cup of tea and a fag in the morning

Neil Issagum

Whosthis wrote: »

Neil Issagum wrote: »

The film 'Idiocracy' is slowly but surely coming true

Am I the only poster that sees the unintended irony in this.

Well it's obviously gone over my head! What do you mean?

Whosthis

Neil Issagum wrote: »

Well it's obviously gone over my head! What do you mean?

A lot of the themes used in the movie Idiocracy are lifted straight from the pages of Orwell's classic novel 1984, including the concept of simplified speech. Orwell calls it "Newspeak". I found it ironic that in a post referring to the dumbing of the population you would refer to a comedic movie rather than a piece of classic literature.

The Sun King

Oh no... A family member reposted the Zuckerberg thing...

Frank Grimes

Whosthis wrote: »

A lot of the themes used in the movie Idiocracy are lifted straight from the pages of Orwell's classic novel 1984, including the concept of simplified speech. Orwell calls it "Newspeak". I found it ironic that in a post referring to the dumbing of the population you would refer to a comedic movie rather than a piece of classic literature.

Thinly veiled...:pac: (and yes I have read the book, more times than I have seen that film)