Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

kunst nugget

yellowlabrador wrote: »

give her a round of applause

Maybe she's smart or maybe she is a chemophobe and the reason that Mars are removing these ingredients is not because they are unsafe but to appease people like herself.

wonski

A large number of Mars bars were recalled recently due to contamination (small pieces of plastic iirc), she did see it coming:D

You can make plastic from petroleum so there is a connection...

I love when people write "to the best of my knowledge" or "it's been established" to make it look more "real".

coolhull

wonski wrote: »

I love when people write "to the best of my knowledge" or "it's been established" to make it look more "real".

Or even better, " It's true, I read it in yesterday's 'Sun'. So how can you argue with that? "

Maximus Alexander

fima wrote: »

Today I have really learned who's who and who real and who's fake no one talks about my kids people makes me kids from diff fathers n I'm like am hellloooo no one can talk about no one so il move on n get over it n people enough is enough the only ones are really there for us at the end of the day is My family so I'm not gonna leave no one slag r harm um il die first ha 2faced ***** a face for every one sure I didn't even get started yet no one talk about my kids no matter who u are cause that wud b the biggest mistake u made ur choice never again wud I go back time to look forward to the future with my 3 beautiful kids and I'm call a siko path lol I'm sorry I didn't listen from the start who breaks a window none ur at a funeral wake up call everything is kicking in I'm just waiting for anyone to start me I have enough of the lot so it's a real good bye dis time loves my family n babies just try me u don't no me haha n ye called us rats people in glass houses can't afford to through stones I don't need to read any one I wud say it to ur face not a bother y fall to away to nothing over some one now it's time to go back to the old NAME well better life wars done is done n wats said is said no going back don't talk about my kids r family

Today I have really learned who is who, who is real and who is fake. No one talks about my kids. People claim my kids are from different fathers and to them I say "Uhm, hellloooo, no one can talk about anyone!"

So, I shall move on and get over it. People, enough is enough, the only ones who are really there for me, at the end of the day, are my family. I'm not going to allow anyone to insult or harm them, I will die first! Ha, two-faced mawks; a face for every one!

I have not even begun yet. Nobody must speak about my kids, no matter who you are, because that would be the biggest mistake you ever made. Your choice! Never again would I go back in time, to look forward to the future with my three beautiful kids, yet I am called a psychopath. I chortle! I am sorry that I did not pay heed from the start; who breaks a window? Nobody, you are at a funeral!

It is a wake up call, everything is kicking in. I am merely waiting for somebody to start me. I have had enough of each of you! So, it is a real goodbye this time. I love my family and my babies, just try me! You do not know me, ha! Yet you called us rats!

Those in glass houses cannot afford to throw stones! I do not need to read what anyone has to say, I would say it to your face without bother! Why fall away to nothing over someone? Now the time has come to revert to my former self; a better life! What is done is done and what is said is said. There is no going back; do not talk about my kids or family!

I just couldn't leave it like that.

JustShon

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Today I have really learned who is who, who is real and who is fake. No one talks about my kids. People claim my kids are from different fathers and to them I say "Uhm, hellloooo, no one can talk about anyone!"

So, I shall move on and get over it. People, enough is enough, the only ones who are really there for me, at the end of the day, are my family. I'm not going to allow anyone to insult or harm them, I will die first! Ha, two-faced mawks; a face for every one!

I have not even begun yet. Nobody must speak about my kids, no matter who you are, because that would be the biggest mistake you ever made. Your choice! Never again would I go back in time, to look forward to the future with my three beautiful kids, yet I am called a psychopath. I chortle! I am sorry that I did not pay heed from the start; who breaks a window? Nobody, you are at a funeral!

It is a wake up call, everything is kicking in. I am merely waiting for somebody to start me. I have had enough of each of you! So, it is a real goodbye this time. I love my family and my babies, just try me! You do not know me, ha! Yet you called us rats!

Those in glass houses cannot afford to throw stones! I do not need to read what anyone has to say, I would say it to your face without bother! Why fall away to nothing over someone? Now the time has come to revert to my former self; a better life! What is done is done and what is said is said. There is no going back; do not talk about my kids or family!

I just couldn't leave it like that.

Even written in grammatically correct English it's a steaming pile of bullsh1te.

fima

Maximus Alexander wrote: »

Today I have really learned who is who, who is real and who is fake. No one talks about my kids. People claim my kids are from different fathers and to them I say "Uhm, hellloooo, no one can talk about anyone!"

So, I shall move on and get over it. People, enough is enough, the only ones who are really there for me, at the end of the day, are my family. I'm not going to allow anyone to insult or harm them, I will die first! Ha, two-faced mawks; a face for every one!

I have not even begun yet. Nobody must speak about my kids, no matter who you are, because that would be the biggest mistake you ever made. Your choice! Never again would I go back in time, to look forward to the future with my three beautiful kids, yet I am called a psychopath. I chortle! I am sorry that I did not pay heed from the start; who breaks a window? Nobody, you are at a funeral!

It is a wake up call, everything is kicking in. I am merely waiting for somebody to start me. I have had enough of each of you! So, it is a real goodbye this time. I love my family and my babies, just try me! You do not know me, ha! Yet you called us rats!

Those in glass houses cannot afford to throw stones! I do not need to read what anyone has to say, I would say it to your face without bother! Why fall away to nothing over someone? Now the time has come to revert to my former self; a better life! What is done is done and what is said is said. There is no going back; do not talk about my kids or family!

I just couldn't leave it like that.

Amazing. Thank You.

valoren

My neice is 18.

Liked the following;

"Can I fast forward to the part where I'm 27 a wifey and whippin it in a Range Rover???"

24k likes and 12k comments.
Talk about life goals.

PTH2009

i hate when people post up videos of kids singing adele songs or something like that

'WOW check this out amazing talent'

did you ever accept a random friend request and they message you and say 'Thanks for accepting my request i hope i can talk to you soon'. unfriend and block :D

RainyDay

yellowlabrador wrote: »

I had two small children and later one more, I spent my time trying to prevent them ever eating anything with an E in it, any artificial sweetener, flavouring , preservative or any ingredient I could not understand eg - no gums, no smarties, no m&m's

What a dope. There is no e in 'gums' or 'm&m's', though she's right about the smartiEs in fairness.

The Randy Riverbeast

yellowlabrador wrote: »

give her a round of applause

I hope she lets the children have E948

Also known as

oxygen

wonski

The Randy Riverbeast wrote: »

I hope she lets the children have E948

Also known as

oxygen

I didn't know oxygen had an e.

Lot of unharmful and natural stuff has to the best of my knowledge

sullivlo

wonski wrote: »

I didn't know oxygen had an e.

Lot of unharmful and natural stuff has to the best of my knowledge

Dihydrogen monoxide kills more people annually than any other chemical.

dee_mc

Moms are people who love us the most and know us the best

Tiny humans see magic and possibility where big humans only see mess and responsibility - may we see the magic again through their eyes and rediscover all the possibilities life has to offer

Mom is the only person who works 365 days a year without any leave

Being a mom is a tough job but it's the best job anyone could ask for

I will protect you until you are grown and then I will let you fly free - but loving you, that is for always

The most precious jewels you will ever have around your neck are the arms of your children

A child asked his father 'What is a man?'
The father replied 'A person who takes responsibility for his family and his home and looks after them'
Then the child said 'I hope I can be a man like Mom one day'

All posted by the same 'mommy', all within 3 days of each other. Where's that unfollow button again?

Neil Issagum

"Drinkepoos before we take off here we come Puerto Rico we hope ur ready"

Yes I'd say tensions are high among the locals as they nervously await the arrival of this group of oul ones from suburban Dublin with their madcap antics

kunst nugget

Why do all those messages about how great women/wives/mothers are always have to have a dig at men. It's getting pretty tiresome at this stage.

Chris_Bradley

kunst nugget wrote: »

Why do all those messages about how great women/wives/mothers are always have to have a dig at men. It's getting pretty tiresome at this stage.

Attention seeking usually or looking for a reaction.

The Sun King

Ive seen this about four times recently.

Be honest : would you give up a meal to feed your dog?

Comment: YES!!!!!!!

Who in the fûck cares?

Guy:Incognito

Eat the dog and you've solved 2 problems.

skittles8710

There's always some gems on Mother's Day. ..excited to see what today brings from the world of facebook

TG1

skittles8710 wrote: »

There's always some gems on Mother's Day. ..excited to see what today brings from the world of facebook

It's started already, people wishing the happiest of mothers days to their amazing mothers who don't even know what Facebook is...

What is the point? Just phone them and say it to them, I know your 1000s of friends won't know you said it but your mother will....

razorblunt

skittles8710 wrote: »

There's always some gems on Mother's Day. ..excited to see what today brings from the world of facebook

YES! Especially those folk putting fawning messages about their Mams whilst sitting down next to them on the couch head buried in their phones.

Owryan

TG1 wrote: »

It's started already, people wishing the happiest of mothers days to their amazing mothers who don't even know what Facebook is...

What is the point? Just phone them and say it to them, I know your 1000s of friends won't know you said it but your mother will....

Esp all the mammy's on fb in heaven

RhubarbCrumble

Spotted on FB: "Wishin a hapy motters day to al da amazin moms out dere"
Girl in question then proceeded to post a photo, not of her own mother, but of HERSELF! Amazing modest mother obviously.

yellowlabrador

Family are 3 feet deep in my memory, now I'm just waiting for them to bury me, I feel them coming for my dreams while I'm asleep - doesn't mean, u got one on me; coz my cards are facing up for everyone to see

a Mothers day message with a twist?

coolhull

yellowlabrador wrote: »

a Mothers day message with a twist?

Is it some sort of riddle?

Liam McPoyle

Girl I know posted a mothers day tribute to her deceased mother.

And tagged her deceased mother's Facebook profile in it.

dee_mc

Happy Mothers Day to my Bestie xXx ���� If Carlsberg did mothers they still couldn't top her humour and good heartedness blessed I am and hope to one day to be as good a mother ... Ah bless �� xXx
(and no, the mother doesn't use Facebook)

Loughc

"Happy Muthers Day to all me Muther Stunnaz Girlos, now lets go get pissed"

Tagged about 10 other "Muthers" and posted at 1pm.

Sure isn't that what mother's day is all about.


Another classic yesterday was a girl posted up a video showing how spoilt she got yesterday from her fella and her kid, and in the video her toddler can be heard shout "Mam, mam, mam" to which she replies. "STOP will ya, Mammy's busy making a video" and to the camera she goes, "Jesus he's always at me"

Ah yea mothers of the year right there.

StripedBoxers

Came across this status this morning.

Her with her big swampy goul should be ashamed of herself. Who is she to call amybody anything filthy whore robbin ould people. With married men who have children. With everybodys boyfriend. Wudn mind ur fat obese bellly. Up on hairy larrys. When u was 15 or 16 u was down the country selling yourself. Literally nothing but a prostitute. She is so evil words cant describe. She'll never have a days luck. Red rotten whore she after been with so many people since a very young age even sellin herself n has cheek call other people whores! Gives everybodys life torture i hope u take a stroke or overdose god forgive me. She going to hell in a handbag. Red rotten prostitue. ‪#‎burntout‬

dee_mc

'going to hell in a handbag'
Brilliant!