Hair removal -too young

bjork

^^Bring her to a dermatologist because she has hair on her legs??

Yeah, that will reassure her it's natural


I've heard it all now. I'm out of this thread.

Satori Rae

bjork wrote: »

^^Bring her to a dermatologist because she has hair on her legs??

Yeah, that will reassure her it's natural


I've heard it all now. I'm out of this thread.

You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder over this.

Of course I would seek a professional opinion from a skin care doctor as they can recommend you the best treatment you could get for your child to get rid of unwanted hair in there professional opinion ie lazer hair removal or special creams that would be designed to best suit young skin.


I wouldn't want to put something on my child's skin that could cause them a massive break out. Something a patch test doesn't always pick up on.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

bjork wrote: »

Exactly, it's just a bit of hair. Both are natural. Why should they be taught the are abnormal with one and normal an not the other?


You rather the advice

"I shaved when I was 6, I now have a lifelong complex and hangups about body hair, you should do the same"

It's lazy parenting at it's finest

If that's quoting me, that's absolutely not what I'm saying at all. I make a living waxing people. I just think kids should be allowed be kids for the short time they are without bringing them to have their legs waxed - but each to their own. I'm not telling anyone how to rear their child. It's just a different perspective is all. No need to be so ratty to be honest

LegacyUser

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

Satori Rae

Ruthiemm wrote: »

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

I wouldn't say body hair is a bad thing it is down to the person if they want to keep it or not, a child however (and I have been there myself, I think a lot of us have played with razors when we where young >.<) may not realize that, but I see your point on talking to your child in that way first.

Some people are a lot more prone to body hair then some of us, there is no shame in that at all. (which is what I would say first to my child before offering removal solution's if the conversation veered that way)

This is not about conforming or not this is about ensuring your child is happy in themselves, so they don't try sneaky tackle the issue themselves and make it worse or feel isolated or even feel like they can't come to you to talk to you about these sort of things if they crop up again. I know it is horrendous thinking of a child having to even think about these issues but a lot of us where lucky not to have dark hair or noticeable growth. I could see how this would be upsetting to a child.

SparkySpitfire

A lot of people who find it easy to say no outright are those who never experienced this problem. You cannot fully understand how awful it is to be plagued with thick dark body hair until you've had it.

You can reassure until the cows come home but if someone gets under a child's skin and plants that seed talk is going to become futile pretty quickly. You can stop the bully bullying, but the damage is done. There comes a time when talk just won't cut it and no amount of proselytising is going to solve a child's body-issue images. You have to come at it from a helping point of view not a "you're wrong, it's normal, stop worrying about it" tack. Because of the things that girl said to me in PRIMARY school I would still cry about my looks in early years of secondary school because I thought I'd never get a boy to like me. Even if I'd had the guts to tell my mom I don't think anything she could've said would have convinced me at that point.

One thing that did help me was going to the doctor. I got the idea into my head that I had hirsutism or a hormone problem and I went to the doctor who just reassured me that I had nothing to worry about that what I had was totally normal and if it did turn out to get worse she would help me with blood tests etc. Because this came from a healthcare professional and not my mom it actually eased my mind a lot. Kids know that their parents love them and will just say things to make them feel good and happy, but doctors owe you nothing but a professional opinion so it's validating for them to tell you in their educated opinion that you are A-OK.

I'm still obsessive about my eyebrows but one thing I just won't get rid of is arm hair... One day I brushed up against the arm of a friend who has dark hair but way thinner and less noticeable than mine. She had shaved them and I actually shivered when I brushed off her it was horrible and despite my hang-ups I absolutely refuse to shave/wax my arms. I remember my mom let me feel her leg stubble and that put me off shaving for a long while too, sometimes showing kids the consequences instead of just warning them about it can help.

Try stave off for as long as you can by all means but prepare yourself for other options when the talk isn't enough anymore.

seventeen sheep

Ruthiemm wrote: »

So my opinion on this is by letting a child this young have hair removed you are basically confirming that yes body hair is abnormal and something to be ashamed of. You are confirming and reinforcing to the child that yes you should be ashamed of your body hair that it's not normal and to me this will feed into other body issues or insecurities.
Why not take the time to talk to the child, reassure them that it's normal, explain why she has darker or thicker hair than say a fair child. By doing this you will build your child up, make them feel ok in their skin and most importantly understand Her body and the differences in everyone's bodies how that's ok and normal.

Much better than a quick fix of just getting rid of the hair, next week she may concerned her nose is bigger than next child. Will you go through plastic surgery to fix that or explain everyone is different and its ok to different

Body hair is normal. Some people choose to remove it. This is OK too. Most adult women I know choose not to display hairy legs in public (even if they're hairy a lot of the rest of the time!) If you're a school-age/teenage girl, obliged to wear a school uniform, it's not always so easy to cover it up as when you're an adult.

Say if your daughter is 13/14 years old and wants to go to her first teenage disco, and all of her friends are wearing skirts and sleeveless tops, and she'd love to wear those things too but is too embarrassed because of her hairy legs and underarms. Would you give her the choice then? I mean, at what age is it acceptable for her to make choices in hair removal?

To me, when it starts to affect her is when she becomes entitled to that choice. As in, from when the hair starts to grow and from when she becomes aware of it. Even if she happens to be younger than most others her age when this happens.

I would never actively encourage my child to remove excess hair, but I'd always advise them and educate them and support them in their choices. If they were a young developer - so be it. You adapt to your own child and to their own wants and needs.

Pugins

Thank you for all the comments. Interesting to hear the comments. I am inclined to agree with those posters who say it's too young but also find myself agreeing with those who say that if this is a problem for her then let her fix it (with help of course). The reality is that the vast vast majority of women remove body hair. There are some who are lucky enough to only have to deal with lower leg hair occasionally. Unfortunately looks like my niece with pale skin and lots of dark hair will be dealing with full leg hair removal. Whether you agree or not it is undeniable that hairless legs are considered normal and desirable for women. She will face this dilemma for many many years. Hopefully we can avoid it for a little while but it will be inevitable for us and her.

Sherlof3

I shaved my arms once when I was 8. My aunt frightened the bejaysus out of me about how it would grow back and to leave it alone. I still remember her reaction to this day. Thank god I never did it again.