Key from bedroom door

shaymus27

Paulw wrote: »

In fairness, Mrs OBumble, my renting/sharing experince would be very similar to yours.

I shared for 6 years in one house. Any time we had a new share, everyone made time to meet the new person before they moved in. Everyone had to be happy, including the new person. We never locked our doors either.

So, you're experience is not unique, in my view.

Yourself and MrsO'Bumble seem to be focused on your own experiences.

If you apply any common sense or read the various posts which show how people can abuse your room in a shared house, surely anyone can see that it is a good idea based on what can happen to be able to lock your bedroom door?

Why oppose someone wanting to be able to lock their bedroom door? Why support someone who opposes someone wanting to lock their bedroom door?

Why not simply respect someone else's wish to have privacy and a little security?

Neither you nor some other posters seem to have any idea how desperate some people are to find a room in a market with little rooms available. People are having to share houses with complete strangers who they might not otherwise trust as the alternative is to be homeless.

If you can afford an expensive rent in a nice area the issue of trust is diminished. If you haven't much money you may be forced to rent with people who you wouldn't choose to be around under normal circumstances.

I do not appreciate the "well I never had any problems" line at all. Surely if you respect others you accept that others have had problems or are aware of friends who have had problems and consequently are bound to be a bit more security conscious than you?

I really don't understand why anyone would be against someone simply wanting a lock for their bedroom door in a shared house with complete strangers. What is wrong with people that they have to criticise other people every chance they get?

The_Morrigan

Mod Note

Ok Folks, this thread is losing focus. Couple of things here:
1. Attack the post, not the poster...there are a lot of personalised posts here.
2. Report a post if you have an issue. The mod team will deal with it.
3. Please get back on topic and post constructively.

Paulw

shaymus27 wrote: »

If you apply any common sense or read the various posts which show how people can abuse your room in a shared house, surely anyone can see that it is a good idea based on what can happen to be able to lock your bedroom door?

Why oppose someone wanting to be able to lock their bedroom door? Why support someone who opposes someone wanting to lock their bedroom door?

Please read my last post. I am NOT opposed to someone locking their door nor having a key to lock their door with. I just never saw the need to when I rented, because of who I shared with.

The place I rented was not "in a nice area" and was not expensive. I was actually unemployed for over a year at the time, so was getting rent allowance plus the dole. But, maybe I just found a good group of people to rent with.

Of course I focus on my own experience, because it is what I have to go on. If I focused on all the negative experiences of renting out there, then I would be ultra paranoid when renting, and would never sleep.

shaymus27

Paulw wrote: »

Please read my last post. I am NOT opposed to someone locking their door nor having a key to lock their door with. I just never saw the need to when I rented, because of who I shared with.

The place I rented was not "in a nice area" and was not expensive. I was actually unemployed for over a year at the time, so was getting rent allowance plus the dole. But, maybe I just found a good group of people to rent with.

Of course I focus on my own experience, because it is what I have to go on. If I focused on all the negative experiences of renting out there, then I would be ultra paranoid when renting, and would never sleep.

Please read my last post - I wrote why support someone who opposes someone wanting to lock their bedroom door.

Please read my last post - I wrote you are focusing on your own experience which you suggest was favourable in relation to being able to trust those who shared with you. Others have not had that experience.

Maybe you would get paranoid and never sleep but others simply get a little security conscious not paranoid and simply want a key for their bedroom.

looksee

Its difficult to see why there is an issue here. It should be possible to lock doors, for all sorts of reasons, but no one is required to if they do not want to. How can it affect other people in the house if someone chooses to lock their door. If you are not nosy you would never know if someone locked their door, why would you even try the handle?

I would personally prefer if other people locked their doors then, if anything did go missing, there would not be that question in anyone's mind - did someone go into my room and take it.

Tar.Aldarion

looksee wrote: »

Its difficult to see why there is an issue here. It should be possible to lock doors, for all sorts of reasons, but no one is required to if they do not want to. How can it affect other people in the house if someone chooses to lock their door. If you are not nosy you would never know if someone locked their door, why would you even try the handle?

I would personally prefer if other people locked their doors then, if anything did go missing, there would not be that question in anyone's mind - did someone go into my room and take it.

I had a guy ask me did I go into his locked room...he thought I must have a key cos he lost something, oh so I stole it did I? Jaysus christ. Also a guy ate all my eclairs...boiught me more and ate them too. He proceeded to get sick. i wasn't able to tell that he would do this upon meeting him. This thread just reminds me to keep living with the cat

Miaireland

I lived in houseshares for four years. I never had a problem with any of the people and would consider a lot of them good friends.

However my door had a lock and I used it.

For a couple of reasons:
1. I knew the people I lived with but did not know their friends or family.
2. I had taken out insurance for my laptop and it was part of the contract that if I was in a houseshare that the room should be locked if I wasn't there.
3. The third was that I am a very private person and just felt happier knowing that my door was locked when I was not there.

To the best of my knowledge the other people in the house locked their doors when they were not there.

I keep a spare key taped to the inside top of my press in case I lost my key or if someone needed to access my room in the event of a leak etc and they rang me.

OP if I were you I would try and get a key for the lock by getting the sample keys from shop. I would not remove the lock yourself. I would then just go about locking your door when you are away and not mention it again to your housemate.

Spanish Eyes

A lock on the fridge and the food press is probably more important in some houseshares!

But anyway, my view is that privacy is very important to me. Others don't mind about that and like communal open type living.

Personally, I would hate the thought that anyone could enter my room when I wasn't there. I think that is very reasonable, and if I were OP, I would insist on a lock for the room door. Otherwise he or she is never going to feel comfortable in that house.

Spanish Eyes

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

. Others don't mind about that and like communal open type living.

It certainly doesn't bother some, one of my housemates hardly ever closes his door if he is in the house or not. Even sleeps with it a bit open at times. I find that very strange, I'd be very very uncomfortable asleep with my door open in a houseshare, I wouldn't even sleep with the door open at home.

My door only opens when I'm going in or out of it. Wouldn't even leave it open if I was popping downstairs for something and straight back up. I like my privacy and don't like others seeing into my room. I lock the room if going away for more than a day and always lock it at night.

Defiler Of The Coffin

shaymus27 wrote: »

OP don't take any notice of those having a go at you. Anyone with common sense supports you in your wish to have privacy.

The woman who said we all trust each other here won't compensate you if anything does go wrong so it's easy for her to say these things but won't be responsible for anything that goes missing or wrecked.

Agree 110% with everything you have written in this thread. The suggestion that anyone who wants to lock their bedroom door must have an ulterior motive has to be the one of the most bizarre things I've read on this forum. OP you go ahead and get a lock sorted. You are entitled to feel secure and comfortable about your belongings when out of your home. That's coming from someone who has been in house shares where I never locked the door and others where I did all the time. Every situation is different.

Thargor

I always lock my door aswell, always have, but really if someone wants into your room in 90% of Irish shared accommodation they'll get in, guaranteed it'll be one of those lightweight hollow white doors with a €10 Basta lock on it in a thin wooden frame, pull the handle down and give it a couple of thumps with your shoulder or a hard kick and it'll pop open, your average scumbag searching the house for stuff to steal when there's nobody at home wont spend 5 seconds seconds getting through it. Its really just a deterrent to other housemates and their friends.

Chloris

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

I had a guy ask me did I go into his locked room...he thought I must have a key cos he lost something, oh so I stole it did I? Jaysus christ. Also a guy ate all my eclairs...boiught me more and ate them too. He proceeded to get sick. i wasn't able to tell that he would do this upon meeting him. This thread just reminds me to keep living with the cat

Does your cat pay rent? God please tell that to my cat! Could really use the rent

Bongalongherb

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

That's something I would have sorted out before moving in personally, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on locking their room all the time - I'd be worried about what they were hiding.

Hiding their personal privacy ?. Who knows the mentality of a person in sharing, that could just walk into your unlocked - open room and private space when you are out working ? I'm sure there are many nosy folk that would when you are not there.

You seem to be very trusting of strangers as you would leave your room wide open/unlocked. Personal privacy whether you are there or not locking your room is the most natural thing to do. Putting trust in a bunch of strangers that you do not know doesn't cut it.

If I want to lock my room when leaving I am entitled to do so, whether a person thinks differently on this is their problem.

CaraMay

People are nosey and a lot of people will take the opportunity to nose if they know a flatmate is away. I hate the idea of people gawking through my stuff eg bank statements etc.

It's impossible to get a 100% accurate view if people in a flat share interview. You never know what people are hiding so it's better to be safe than sorry and use a key

BabySlam

I would also prefer everybody locked their stuff so if it is missing it is nothing to do with me - I have this viewpoint for social/work/sport situations as well as living. Even a question such as "have you seen my Blah-Blah" can cause offence to some people....

hahala

It was amazing, you should have a key ...

on_my_oe

I've always had group interviews for house shares ie the housemates pick a night they can all be home, and post the ad specifying what night viewings are; this is my fifth country, and the same arrangement every country. A raving psychopath can fool the average person, but generally you can get a sense of a human being from a conversation with pointed questions, especially if there's 2/3 other housemates all interviewing at once.

We have a housemate who leaves the door open when she's not at home (as do we), but locks it at night when sleeping. I find it a bit creepy slash distrustful, but on the other hand I assume she is security conscious which is understandable especially if you are a woman. I do worry about her safety in a fire though!

Tar.Aldarion

Chloris wrote: »

Does your cat pay rent? God please tell that to my cat! Could really use the rent

gravehold

on_my_oe wrote: »

I've always had group interviews for house shares ie the housemates pick a night they can all be home, and post the ad specifying what night viewings are; this is my fifth country, and the same arrangement every country. A raving psychopath can fool the average person, but generally you can get a sense of a human being from a conversation with pointed questions, especially if there's 2/3 other housemates all interviewing at once.

We have a housemate who leaves the door open when she's not at home (as do we), but locks it at night when sleeping. I find it a bit creepy slash distrustful, but on the other hand I assume she is security conscious which is understandable especially if you are a woman. I do worry about her safety in a fire though!

When I house shared I always locked my door while I slept kept key in the door in case of fire, started after 2nd or 3rd time people walked in the middle of the night drunk during college and the habit stuck.

the_syco

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

That's something I would have sorted out before moving in personally, I wouldn't be keen on sharing a house with someone who insisted on locking their room all the time - I'd be worried about what they were hiding.

True, I'd have sorted it out beforehand, but the option of locking my room has to be there. Although I may not lock it all the time, I'd like to have the option, as in the past, the digs I was at had someone sleeping in my double bed at the weekends I wasn't there! I never questioned the fresh sheets until I copped on why they needed fresh sheets :eek:

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I've met a few other foreigners who say "don't house-share with Irish"

Next time someone says this, ask what market where they renting? I'm thinking it'll be with students, as it can be a culture shock to some to find yourself in a house full of alcoholics (the french that I house-shared with did love this, though).

shaymus27 wrote: »

Yourself and MrsO'Bumble seem to be focused on your own experiences.

You either talk about your own experiences, or you are retelling stories that you heard from someone else. Paulw and Mrs OBumble are telling it from their viewpoint, but I assume you are sharing viewpoints from people other than your own?

Miamiheat

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

One of the nice things about being an adult is that you do get to choose!

I would never, ever, move into a house share where I did not choose it and meet all the housemates beforehand.

You must ignore the realty of the house sharing in Dublin nowadays..

the_syco

Miamiheat wrote: »

You must ignore the realty of the house sharing in Dublin nowadays..

/looks at users location.

Yeah.... about Dublin.... :pac:

Miamiheat

the_syco wrote: »

/looks at users location.

Yeah.... about Dublin.... :pac:

Thanks for paying attention. I should have posted Ireland (i can't really imagine much difference between the different cities though).

CaraMay

Miamiheat wrote: »

Thanks for paying attention. I should have posted Ireland (i can't really imagine much difference between the different cities though).

It doesn't matter where you live, there are people who will snoop, steal and take advantage in all areas and all walks of life.

on_my_oe

on_my_oe wrote: »

I've always had group interviews for house shares ie the housemates pick a night they can all be home, and post the ad specifying what night viewings are

When all you want is to fill the room asap this just isn't going to happen. People ring up and ask to view the room and you get them to call as soon as possible. When you have 10 or 15 people wanting to view the room and you have a busy schedule with work etc you just don't have time for all this arranging with housemates when suits them to have viewings etc, you show the room when you can and take the fist half decent looking person.