I watched a disturbing video and I'm really depressed over it. What do I do?

misscpmfan

I came across an online video called 3 guys one hammer the other night by accident. I got to 15 seconds in and had to turn it off. Just to clarify I don't ever look at violent videos. I didn't know what it was, the link I was brought to was Russian. Anyway I'm really disturbed by it. I can't seem to get it out of my mind. I told my bf how I felt and he said give it time. I dunno I'm very worried, I can't seem to enjoy anything I've also kinda lost any faith I had in humanity a bit. Please don't be curious to look this video up, just if anyone has seen it they'll hopefully relate to me. Or if anyone has seen anything disturbing ever hopefully I'll get some advice on what I should do. Please don't ever watch this video. If anyone ever asks you to say no. It's demonic. I've never seen anything so horrific and I only got 10-15 seconds in.

Todd Toddington III

So is this video torture or something sexual? Coz weirdly some people are into this stuff. If it's torture then call the cops. Then speak to your doctor who'll recommend a suitable qualified person to speak to.

Lex_Diamonds

Sorry to hear that. I can only imagine. You may want to consider a couple of counselling sessions? It sounds over the top, but people exposed to this sort of horror are encouraged to do so. From content moderators on video sites, to those who have witnessed an accident. All are encouraged or provided with such services.

All the best.

misscpmfan

Yea basically is someone being brutally murdered for no reason. Recorded on a mobile phone back from 2007. Did research on it afterwards to find out if the guys that are behind this got caught and luckily they did and got life in prison. I feel so ill knowing people are capable of what I saw. The man was on his way home and for nothing he was murdered. Not going to go into detail. Demonic.

con___manx1

I seen ken bigley loose his head years ago and it still haunts me to this day. I feel your pain op. It will take time for you to forget what u seen. I always remember his last words . then they cut his head off with a machete. Poor guy

Redser87

I would recommend reading Flourishing by Maureen Gaffney. She writes about how we can choose where to direct our attention, and this in turn affects our moods and our physical wellbeing. There would be no shame in talking to someone about how you feel but maybe in the meantime you could work on directing your attention to something more positive and life-affirming. I'm sure if you put 'faith in humanity restored' into the YouTube search bar it would throw up some lovely things that would help you redirect your attention. Once you have found something like that, consciously bring your attention back to the positive thing any time you feel that sense of dread at remembering what you witnessed.

hmmm

misscpmfan wrote: »

I've also kinda lost any faith I had in humanity a bit.

Why does the actions of three people reflect badly on the whole of humanity to you? You can't extrapolate from the actions of these people that the whole of humanity are like that (I haven't seen the video, but have looked up what it is about). There are bad people out there, some of them have been captured on video and it has shocked you - that's natural and human and you'll get over it in time.

Torakx

misscpmfan, I had a similar experience. Someone posted a video on facebook of an animal being killed for fun. I won't go into detail, but it upset me for weeks, months on and off. I remember it right now again, but it's not so bad now. My feelings that is.

What I found helpful was to learn to appreciate the negatives. Death, evil.
When i started reading philosophy(in my case Nietzsche), I began to learn how to think emotionally more often, as well as already feeling emotionally.
In neuroscience/psychology they call these, cognitive empathy and emotional empathy.
When I read about duality and similar ideas, my perspective changed.
The good is measured off the bad and vice versa.
Life-Death
Good-Evil
If we only appreciate(understand and accept) good, but not the bad. We have lost half of our whole consciousness to fear.
I would consider security to be the foundational principle in good and insecurity to be the bad.
The darkest things you see, are a reflection of the most beautiful acts of kindness. It's like an artists symbolic perception. A trick of the mind, to appreciate a disturbing thing, through it's reflection. I think it becomes abstract in our minds and allows a certain detachment. It allows us to fully appreciate it, while also being detached. I consider this to be cognitive empathy.

I still feel sad for that poor animal. But my sadness is cognitive, I have no tears or strong deep emotions. Just peace and mourning in a cognitive sense. My emotions stay in this moment.
where as before I was crying.

To put it simply, I had to accept it to move on and the only way I can accept the things that disturb m, is to love them. I should say that my definition of love is acceptance. Not want or attachment for any reason.
I have applied to technique to many situations in life and the results are amazing.
i have been attacked in town and just shrug it off. It seems to help remove fear as well. Although to reach thatlevel, I had to "love" death

What we don't understand, we fear. (I'm confused, insecure, scared)
What we fear we hate. (I hate feeling insecure)
What we hate, we kill. (I must attack that thing that causes me insecurity)
What we kill, is our sense of self. (I just killed it, but realise my confusion was for me, I am further from knowing myself)

Hmm seems a bit like nonsense at the end, but it's my intuition, so I will trust it!

I hope you feel better.
Not too soon! You had a strong emotional experience, this is one of those rare chances to explore feelings of discomfort and accept them. Make them a facet of your new character as you grow. Make you stronger.
A sort of revenge and positive use of the situation. Turn it to good. Take advantage of the opportunity.
It is your perception that hurts you. You are brave and smart enough I know, to keep your past and build your future.

At least that is my experience with a lifetime of suffering
I live in suffering still, but also in complete bliss, at the same time lol
I am insane ofc!

Ps, deep emotional healing = music with no lyrics. Or secondly painting.
I got that from Nietzsche, on greek tragedy and the arts.

misscpmfan

Redser87 wrote: »

I would recommend reading Flourishing by Maureen Gaffney. She writes about how we can choose where to direct our attention, and this in turn affects our moods and our physical wellbeing. There would be no shame in talking to someone about how you feel but maybe in the meantime you could work on directing your attention to something more positive and life-affirming. I'm sure if you put 'faith in humanity restored' into the YouTube search bar it would throw up some lovely things that would help you redirect your attention. Once you have found something like that, consciously bring your attention back to the positive thing any time you feel that sense of dread at remembering what you witnessed.

Thank you, I'm sure I will defo check it out, makes me happy I'm not alone, I felt like I committed a crime xx

misscpmfan

Torakx thank you, great advice and sorry to hear you experienced something like that. I love animals too and that would get me too, . The world is crazy, I'd also like to thank others even the guy who asked me to watch 2 girls 1 cup. That's a pinch of salt compared to what I saw xx

misscpmfan

Thanks torakx, really appreciate it, seriously xxx

misscpmfan

hmmm wrote: »

Why does the actions of three people reflect badly on the whole of humanity to you?

I dunno, because it does. Everyone is different and I was just "describing" something I found traumatic to me. Like anyone would, and being honest it did affect me greatly. Did you see it? If not then please don't watch. Have your own opinions but I don't recommend to anyone.

Black Swan

misscpmfan wrote: »

I came across an online video called 3 guys one hammer the other night by accident.

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Black Swan wrote: »

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