A Country funeral... what do I wear?

riclad

Its Part of growing up,
heres a tip once you pass 40 ,
You,ll find people you know are dying every year .
never went to a wedding before i was 25,
nobody i know was getting married .
people dont usually get married before 24,
they live together 4 a few year s .

Most of my friends were same age as me, under the age of 20.
my family were all in good health .

sheesh

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I think you are jealous of our sophistication, and in my case a caring attitude to the traditions of my country cousins. :eek:

Sophisticated is it now?:D

jimgoose

5starpool wrote: »

...Donegal is a strange place that is governed by it's own set of weird ways and shouldn't be lumped in with the est of the country..

Git ta fcuk hi, ya wile clouster ye.

5starpool

jimgoose wrote: »

Git ta fcuk hi, ya wile clouster ye.

Uh-huh, ya, oh right ya. A little after half 3.

The Backwards Man

josip wrote: »

OP, just google "Donegal funeral" and select "Images".
Ignore the suggestions that involve black berets and sunglasses.

Of which there is one in the first two hundred images. And that's not even proper Donegal

folamh

Dark neutrals, not necessarily black. Smart, neither casual nor dressy.

blue5000

Well OP are you there yet, what's the broadband like?

Sam Kade

Truffle Pig wrote: »

Are you really looking for funeral fashion advice from the Internet?

Really? For real like? Really?

This is what happens went people spend their whole lives in the pale and never venture out of it.

Fat Christy

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Feck it, in Dublin anyway you wear what you like colour wise lol.

Heard tonight from a pal that it's all black clothes down the country at a funeral. Jays I don't want to be a Goth.

Hi OP.

I'm from Longford and generally people wear black to funerals where I'm from. You wouldn't be rocking up in bright colours. I didn't know if it was different in Dublin, I thought it was like this for all funerals. It's a genuine question in fairness. I know one of my colleagues was at a country christening over the weekend and she was shocked that they had a proper fancy meal afterwards. This is really common in the country, I'd be a bit surprised if there wasn't one. Funerals, christenings, communions, confirmations...they're all a big deal where I'm from. I honestly don't get why, it might have something to do with the difficulty associated with getting the whole family together. Half my family don't even talk to each other. I hate these things, total awkwardness. :pac:

Santa Cruz

Also if you get stuck for topics of conversation you will always get away with any of the following.

1. Shockin weather for the time of year, will we ever see a bit of sun..rain.. again (as suits the climate)

2. Did ye ever see anthin like the price of hoggets?

3. Its very hard to make money out of sucklers

blue5000

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Also if you get stuck for topics of conversation you will always get away with any of the following.

1. Shockin weather for the time of year, will we ever see a bit of sun..rain.. again (as suits the climate)

2. Did ye ever see anthin like the price of hoggets?

3. Its very hard to make money out of sucklers

4 You'd want a right good job now to keep a farm goin'.

lulu1

5starpool wrote: »

Some people seem to assume North West equates to Donegal. This is a fallacy.

Reasons:
1. Donegal is a strange place that is governed by it's own set of weird ways and shouldn't be lumped in with the est of the country.
2. If Mayo is West, then Donegal should just be North as it contains the most northerly point of the island.
3. As Sligo is on the angle of North and West it is the true location of North West. A part of Leitrim should be allowed too because, well, poor Leitrim. South Leitrim can go in the midlands though.
4. Cavan is occasionally described as being in the North West but that's just lunacy.

Ergo North West should be Sligo or North Leitrim only. I'm not biased at all though, no siree.

Reason no 1 You are talking a load of s***

wendell borton

Nekarsulm wrote: »

Quite agree with you, BABM. English couple who are friends went to a wake recently, their teenage daughters friend had her mother pass away. Our friend related how insane it was, she was drinking tea in the kitchen , when she was invited into the bedroom to see the deceased.
She hadn't realised the body was in the house. She was still in shock a week later when talking to me.

I think it quite a healthy thing mentally, death is going to come to use all might as well accept it. It also brings a sense of closure and acceptance that helps move on the grieving process.

recylingbin

Fat Christy wrote: »

Hi OP.

I'm from Longford ... Half my family don't even talk to each other. I hate these things, total awkwardness. :pac:

Surely that par for the course there. Signing each other into the mental to get the land and firing shots into each other's houses.

LynnGrace

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Not just the shop, the mechanic, the publican, the milkman and the postmaster will all be noted in their absence. Always sit in one of the transepts to ensure the best possible view of who's there and who isn't.

And any local T.D. or councillor must also put in an appearance :pac:

The Backwards Man

LynnGrace wrote: »

And any local T.D. or councillor must also put in an appearance :pac:

Nobody would miss them though, and they aren't as plentiful since the funeral attending allowance has been cut.:pac:

AnLonDubh

Twas a while after the boom that Me and Micheál were chewing the cud outside Mick's gate (only a donkey's neigh from the creamery if you don't know it), "It's settlin' in for a long evenin" says I and Micheál gives us a nod, sure enough it was evening on us soon enough after that. And us leaving to head for a drop of the craither, me fella says "Did ye hear dars a Dub comin' to Paddy Phats funeral?", "Would ya get away out of that" I says, sure they were only in auld Miss McGawn's stories like the White Walkers.

No says Micheál, "they're real as all bejaysus, mini skirts on the lads, the woman have jobs and the Tractors are powered by internal matter-antimatter reactors sure". I spat on the ground and went home to have a **** to Dev in penance for even imaginin' a West Brit being present at such a sacred ritual.

Flood

sombrero

silverfeather

riclad wrote: »

Its Part of growing up,
heres a tip once you pass 40 ,
You,ll find people you know are dying every year .
never went to a wedding before i was 25,
nobody i know was getting married .
people dont usually get married before 24,
they live together 4 a few year s .

Most of my friends were same age as me, under the age of 20.
my family were all in good health .

Makes you think really.

Flood

silverfeather wrote: »

Makes you think really.

About what?

silverfeather

Flood wrote: »

Its Part of growing up,
heres a tip once you pass 40 ,
You,ll find people you know are dying every year .
never went to a wedding before i was 25,
nobody i know was getting married .
people dont usually get married before 24,
they live together 4 a few year s .

Most of my friends were same age as me, under the age of 20.
my family were all in good health .
...............About what?

'Those various scalpels.'

Those slender devices....the 'dublin thing' the 'country thing'

All the ornaments on the mantlepiece all positioned and correct. From from far away. Are they ornaments or are they knives in their alikeness?

Those slender devices....conventions or are they knives

I am reading Marianne Moore {:-)

It's a funeral...the great 'leveler' ..other there ....'country' the slender device..

I didn't think people really thought like that as in country 'Dublin' etc . And I would have thought of all things a funeral would have shattered the slender device of separation.

It's silly.

Not to berate the OP so much. She only asked a question.

But it makes you think.

Flood

silverfeather wrote: »

'Those various scalpels.'

Those slender devices....the 'dublin thing' the 'country thing'

All the ornaments on the mantlepiece all positioned and correct. From from far away. Are they ornaments or are they knives in their alikeness?

Those slender devices....conventions or are they knives

I am reading Marianne Moore {:-)

It's a funeral...the great 'leveler' ..other there ....'country' the slender device..

I didn't think people really thought like that as in country 'Dublin' etc . And I would have thought of all things a funeral would have shattered the slender device of separation.

It's silly.

Not to berate the OP so much. She only asked a question.

But it makes you think.

I didnt post what you quoted.

silverfeather

Why would anyone think a funeral of all things would be different somewhere else in such a small country? Or that such a small difference would be bigger than the similarity and universal human experience of a funeral?

Flood

Are you posting in general or to a poster specific?

silverfeather

Flood wrote: »

Are you posting in general or to a poster specific?

I have no idea ..so i guess general.

silverfeather

Flood wrote: »

I didnt post what you quoted.

No but that was what i was responding to originally :-)

I can't multiquote.

Santa Cruz

folamh wrote: »

Dark neutrals, not necessarily black. Smart, neither casual nor dressy.

Dark skirt a little on the tight side, a bit slutty but still respectful and blouse buttoned but still showing that you have a good rack underneath. That would be acceptable.

Spanish Eyes

OP here.

Well thank you all for your help with the Country Funeral attire, and much more besides!

I am back in the Smoke now after three days of it.

Would anyone like to hear my report?

redbel05

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Well thank you all for your help with the Country Funeral attire, and much more besides!

I am back in the Smoke now after three days of it.

Would anyone like to hear my report?

Do tell... interested in hearing your big city perspective

The Backwards Man

Yeah, tell us!!

Badly Drunk Boy

I can't see the report!!!

By the way, (in case you don't mention it in your report) by 'down the country', what size town/village are you talking about and roughly how far from Dublin is it?

Spanish Eyes

HI, I'll have to give the update a little later, as visitors calling in a few.

Anyway, ask your questions, they may help me give a better report!

ATB.

The Backwards Man

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

HI, I'll have to give the update a little later, as visitors calling in a few.

Anyway, ask your questions, they may help me give a better report!

ATB.

We don't need to ask questions, we all know what a funeral in the country is like. You're supposed to tell us what you thought of it.

strandsman

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

OP here.

Well thank you all for your help with the Country Funeral attire, and much more besides!

I am back in the Smoke now after three days of it.

Would anyone like to hear my report?

show some respect to the grieving family spanish eyes, It wasn't a school tour you were on, I doubt you you be happy if someone was issuing a public report on your relatives funeral, Grow up.:mad::mad:

jimgoose

strandsman wrote: »

show some respect to the grieving family spanish eyes, It wasn't a school tour you were on, I doubt you you be happy if someone was issuing a public report on your relatives funeral, Grow up.:mad::mad:

What do you think goes on in every pub within a five mile radius of the place for three days afterwards?? :pac:

Ghekko

With all respect to the dead this thread has given me a good all laugh all the way over, up, down here in the north west! Who died? I may have known them?

green n gold

This thread has the makings of a classic, even in spite of silver feathers attempts to derail it with sensible truths and helpful advice

blue5000

Well OP have you recovered from the agricultural shock yet, am really trying hard to ignore some of the comments on here. What did you wear after, did you find it hard to understand the local dialect?

lulu1

IMO OP has now got to go and think of what to write before giving her report because I don't think there was ever a funeral in the first place

Visitors my eye

Spanish Eyes

To those of you who think I was being disrespectful about this funeral, far from it.

I was very respectful in everything I wrote here. I would never be otherwise, it could have been my own father/brother/uncle.

And that is the way I approached it all.

I'll be back in a while.

The posts have been lovely, and funny and all the rest, but that's grand.

Spanish Eyes

The funeral was in NW.

In North Sligo. Close to Donegal and Leitrim. Very rural area, lovely scenery, stunning in fact.

My OH's uncle had passed away. His Godfather too.

The area is farming country. The house where the wake was held is in deep countryside, only one other house down the hill. There is a village about half a mile away, pub, church, shop/post office, that's it. The church there, was where the funeral was held.

So on the day of the wake we arrived at eleven in the morning. The hearse arrived with uncle J at twelve. We waited outside (weather was great), until everything was sorted in the parlour, and in we went to see him. There were candles, and holy pictures.

What I thought was lovely was there were pictures of his life from childhood to adulthood all around the room, and even one of him placed in the coffin. It was weird to see a coffin in the parlour, but after a while it became normal. I cannot explain it, but he was there, and everyone else in the family was there and it was as if he was still alive, but he wasn't, he was dead, in the coffin, in the same room. And talk and laughter and greeting visitors went on all day,

Anyway, the time was for the family until 4pm, then the house was open to all. My god, did they arrive!

There was a book of condolence, and the family and OH had a look that night, ten names to a page, and 30 pages to a book, there were 5 books. That makes about 1,500 people calling over the course of the day and night. Wow.

And it was a "dry wake" tea and food by the bucketload for the visitors and the house was open all night. But not a drop of alcohol.

We left at 11pm, but the sons and daughters took turns to wake him, and keep vigil all night.

The women of the parish kept food and tea going all day and all night. Amazing.

There were a few farmers in their lovely gear alright, very respectful too.

I had great conversations with the local farmers who were very worried about when they would let the cattle "out", and the frost at night was stopping the grass growing for the silage later, as 5 degrees was needed to get the grass growing, and that wasn't happening at the time! The mart up above was mentioned too.

Now we were there from 11 until 11pm. And I have to say I met the most interesting people. They were so interested in me because I was from the Smoke.

Anyway, my attire was respectful, and it was just right, judging by what everyone else wore. No red!

I have more to add about the wake and the funeral, all funny though. I am wrecked after it all, so maybe later.

eternal

Are you sure you didn't go back in time to 1950s Ireland?

For Forks Sake

eternal wrote: »

Are you sure you didn't go back in time to 1950s Ireland?

Location: Cork

Tread carefully.

eternal

For Forks Sake wrote: »

Tread carefully.

I wasn't being sarcastic at all. I genuinely thought the whole thing sounded a bit old fashioned. I feel like I'm in James Joyce territory.

josip

strandsman wrote: »

show some respect to the grieving family spanish eyes, It wasn't a school tour you were on, I doubt you you be happy if someone was issuing a public report on your relatives funeral, Grow up.:mad::mad:

Tis not the fair Spanish Eyes that needs a bit of growing up now.
Begorrah.

Baggy Trousers

Great thread.
I have to say an all night country wake can be heavy going. You feel dead yourself by the end of it.

The Backwards Man

Baggy Trousers wrote: »

Great thread.
I have to say an all night country wake can be heavy going. You feel dead yourself by the end of it.

If you get a couple of good yarnspinners there the night will fly in. Great places for the oul yarns, wakes.

Baggy Trousers

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Anyway, my attire was respectful, and it was just right, judging by what everyone else wore. No red!

Did you take a selfie?

Baggy Trousers

The Backwards Man wrote: »

If you get a couple of good yarnspinners there the night will fly in. Great places for the oul yarns, wakes.

Roald Dahl himself wouldn't make some of those nights fly.
There's always some oul lad or oul biddy eager to bring the morbidity levels back to tragic.
You just keep drinkin out of boredom.

Bullocks

Will there be a "reading of the will and ructions thereafter " thread ?