Constant Nagging, Nagging, Nagging

Chloris

The upstairs neighbours don't get along. They're a Polish couple and both are quite civil to us when we ever have dealings with them or when we pass them in the hall. We live in a three-storey house, turned into three apartments (with another very quiet Polish couple at the top, who are very reasonable and seem generally nice). But the middle couple have huge rows, three to four times a week at least, often several times a day.

We hear them shouting when they're coming in the front door, past our ground floor apartment. They bang around upstairs and the girl screams at him, which we can hear even through the ceiling. If their window is open and we're in our back garden, they may as well be having a huge row with us present. Sometimes we have guests over and they're shocked by the intensity of her screaming.

As well as this, they often play insanely loud pop music from 6am onwards. They hoover at unreasonable hours of the morning, including going out to hoover the car, directly outside our bedroom window (about eight feet from our bed like) at 6am once.

We've lived here for two years and when we first moved in, we had some late parties and once, the boyfriend from the next floor came down to ask if we could turn down the music because he had work the next day. We were very apologetic and obliged him, and he didn't seem to hold it against us. We never had any more late loudness after that, not even on weekends. We insist that everyone keeps it to talking level if we have a gathering at the weekend, and ensure that latestayers don't make too much noise. We have a good idea the level that gets through the floor because of hearing them screaming and banging around.

Now I was previously operating on a "live and let live" policy; we would ignore their domestic horror out of politeness and if we do decide to have the odd party at some stage, it'll be tolerated. But recently, I was out all day doing stuff that really brought my mood down and I got in late; it was about 10pm and I wanted to play some guitar for a while because I needed to learn a particular song for a gig I was playing the following week. It's an acoustic and I was playing without a pick, so it was very quiet (Elliott Smith, Strung Out Again). I must have strummed the guitar two times and she came batin down the stairs and banging on the door.

"It is too loud, my day starts at 5am."

I said 'oh, alright', but didn't apologise.

Not to get too personal about it, but this woman doesn't have a job and she screams and roars at her boyfriend upstairs at times where I need to be asleep for work the next day. Is it really reasonable of her to freak out at me for playing guitar because she wants to get up early, presumably to clean, as she was hoovering the next day?

We have never ever knocked on their door for any reason. When they first moved, I think they had just come to Ireland because they needed advice about everything and would call to us at all hours of the day, usually in the evening when we were just in from work and wanted to chill and eat dinner. So since she got aggressive, I've recorded the banging and shouting and started to document when the screaming matches happen. But I'm going to continue to play music at a reasonable volume as it's part of my work and it's something I use as therapy. If she raises it as an issue again, I think I'll explain to her that I need to play as I work during the day and sometimes the evening is the only time I have to learn a song I need to know.

Does anyone think that this is unreasonable? Is there much we can do if she won't accept mediation?

jimmycrackcorm

I would have thought it obvious to talk to them about the noise instead of posting here where people will tell you to talk to them.

Perhaps they aren't aware of how much their noisy arguments can be heard.

Stheno

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

I would have thought it obvious to talk to them about the noise instead of posting here where people will tell you to talk to them.

Perhaps they aren't aware of how much their noisy arguments can be heard.

Agreed op needs to talk to them

Chloris

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

I would have thought it obvious to talk to them about the noise instead of posting here where people will tell you to talk to them.

I don't want to be an aggressor in this, nor do I want to become embroiled in a conversation in broken English about her romantic life. Like I said, we just ignore the shouting and banging, we don't care about it. But for her to come down and bang on my door for some quiet music seems completely outrageous given the amount of noise that they make. That's why I've started documenting their excessively loud noise rather than confront her.

They're definitely aware of the noise levels between floors. I don't want to be the one to stamp up the stairs and interrupt a heated argument. Nor do I want to bring it up when it's not happening.

I love the "f-ck off" attitude of the first two posts though, unbelievably helpful.

Eugene Norman

Chloris wrote: »

I don't want to be an aggressor in this, nor do I want to become embroiled in a conversation in broken English about her romantic life. Like I said, we just ignore the shouting and banging, we don't care about it. But for her to come down and bang on my door for some quiet music seems completely outrageous given the amount of noise that they make. That's why I've started documenting their excessively loud noise rather than confront her.

They're definitely aware of the noise levels between floors. I don't want to be the one to stamp up the stairs and interrupt a heated argument. Nor do I want to bring it up when it's not happening.

I love the "f-ck off" attitude of the first two posts though, unbelievably helpful.

No but. Polish people and Central & Eastern Europeans don't really understand restrained over politeness. I have a good polish mate and he thought Irish people were hypocrites ( again this was an issue with where he lived, his Irish neighbour was friendly for months until he wasn't, over something that was bugging the neighbour for those months)

In those cultures it's isn't rude to confront. It's expected. Look what she did. Tell them you can hear them and they'll stop, most likely, and still be friendly when passing you. They may not know, or think about it.

The_Morrigan

Chloris wrote: »

I don't want to be an aggressor in this, nor do I want to become embroiled in a conversation in broken English about her romantic life. Like I said, we just ignore the shouting and banging, we don't care about it. But for her to come down and bang on my door for some quiet music seems completely outrageous given the amount of noise that they make. That's why I've started documenting their excessively loud noise rather than confront her.

They're definitely aware of the noise levels between floors. I don't want to be the one to stamp up the stairs and interrupt a heated argument. Nor do I want to bring it up when it's not happening.

I love the "f-ck off" attitude of the first two posts though, unbelievably helpful.

Mod Note

The thing about seeking advice on a public forum is that you may not like the answers you get - that does not make it incorrect, nor unhelpful. Don't be uncivil towards the posters who have taken the time to respond to you, or you will find that your thread will be short lived.

The_Morrigan

Chloris - I deleted both your posts. The discussion of moderation on thread is forbidden. Do not do it again

The_Morrigan

Three times! Thread closed as you can't abide by the charter.