Unable to return to work post Maternity Leave - Advise!!!

Dj123456

Hi All, I am looking for some help here. I would like to point out myself and my partner have been working since we left school at 17 working full time. Thankfully we have been fortunate enough to have never been claiming unemployment benefits. We dont have great jobs if I am honest - 39hr weeks @ 8.65e an hour - but it pays the bills.
I am do to return to work after our 1st baby soon and I am dreading it. I know we cannot afford for me to lose my job but on the same time I cannot bare to leave my Son. He was difficult as a young infant. He has started to settle a bit now, not alot but he is getting there. I know all new Mums go through this but the thought of leaving him alone scares me to death. I am so anxious and nervous about it I feel like I'm going to vomit on a daily basis. He is a very demanding baby and as they say "stuck" into me. Im am wrecked tired. Believe me, I want to return to work when he gets that little bit older so we can return to normal daily lives!
In order to keep my job they need me to be certified from a Doctor. This is where I need advise please. How can I explain this to a medical practitioner especially if they do not have any children of their own? I do not want them to mention PND to me as I am not depressed. I am simply a tired, scared new Mum with a very demanding little person who need a few more weeks to get themselves together. Is there any Social Welfare I will be able to apply for to keep us afloat?

Feed back would be appreciated. Although I must point out any negativity regarding social welfare payments, trying to cheat the "system" will go over my head as we are honest people and I am just looking for some help.

lazygal

AFAIK if you decide to not return to work to care for your child you won't be entitled to benefits. You may be able to apply for family income supplement but I'm not sure. What age is your child? Are you taking the unpaid maternity leave?

Dj123456

lazygal wrote: »

AFAIK if you decide to not return to work to care for your child you won't be entitled to benefits. You may be able to apply for family income supplement but I'm not sure. What age is your child? Are you taking the unpaid maternity leave?

He is 6months old next week. I have looked into FIS. You need to work 19hrs per week to be considered. Part time hourd would be ideal to ease us away from one another but, my job cannot offer me part time hours. It is full time or no time.

Jerrica

Is it a case that if he were a little more settled you'd feel happier to go back to work? There's no way I could have left my now 10mo little girl with anyone anytime before she was seven months old, she just had too many needs that I felt could only be met by me (rightly or wrongly). I went back to work half time at 7 months and am now back full time and she's thriving. I could never have gone back to work after the 6 months, but was well ready to return by 7 months (finding things very tough now, but I'm trusting that it'll pass). If you don't want to go back to work that's a different story, but just wanted to share in case waiting things out a bit longer might be a workable solution?

lazygal

Any chance you could take some of the unpaid leave? I feel six months is very young to leave them, especially as a first timer. At least you wouldn't be giving up work totally and maybe you could use the time to look for another job?

Dj123456

lazygal wrote: »

Any chance you could take some of the unpaid leave? I feel six months is very young to leave them, especially as a first timer. At least you wouldn't be giving up work totally and maybe you could use the time to look for another job?

We honestly cant afford the unpaid leave. I would only love another 16wks with the little man to help him settle. The whole situaton is stressing me out!! We should be given 12mths paid maternity leave. Ive worked long enough!! Oh well... keep dreaming...

Tasden

Dj123456 wrote: »

He is 6months old next week. I have looked into FIS. You need to work 19hrs per week to be considered. Part time hourd would be ideal to ease us away from one another but, my job cannot offer me part time hours. It is full time or no time.

But is your partner not working the 19 hrs?

The Diddakoi

Only one of you needs to be working a minimum of 19 hours a week to qualify.

Dj123456

alf66 wrote: »

Only one of you needs to be working a minimum of 19 hours a week to qualify.

He works 39hours a week. I thought you could only work 19hrs per week to qualify?

Moonbeam

over 19 hours.

Go talk to your gp and see what they say.

Dj123456

Moonbeam wrote: »

over 19 hours.

Go talk to your gp and see what they say.

Can we still apply while he works full time?

Ive booked an app with my GP for next week hopefully she has shed some light on this for me.

Moonbeam

yes you can.
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/social_welfare_payments_to_families_and_children/family_income_supplement.html

Neyite

My circumstances were exactly the same at the 6mo mark. I wasn't ready to leave my baby full time, he wasn't ready either, and we felt that another 16 weeks would help a lot with that. Like you, there was no flexibility in my workplace to go part time or my partner's workplace, I would never want to fiddle the system either.

We took out a small credit union loan and made an extra effort to cut back on household expenses for a while, and it worked perfectly. The baby was 11 months when I went back to work and by that stage was a very different baby, and honestly was getting bored with just me to look at and talk to all day, so absolutely thrived at crèche when he did go.

But its still tough to leave them in for a full day. But, when you see them make little friends, and thrive socially it does make it easier.

Dj123456

Neyite wrote: »

My circumstances were exactly the same at the 6mo mark. I wasn't ready to leave my baby full time, he wasn't ready either, and we felt that another 16 weeks would help a lot with that. Like you, there was no flexibility in my workplace to go part time or my partner's workplace, I would never want to fiddle the system either.

We took out a small credit union loan and made an extra effort to cut back on household expenses for a while, and it worked perfectly. The baby was 11 months when I went back to work and by that stage was a very different baby, and honestly was getting bored with just me to look at and talk to all day, so absolutely thrived at crèche when he did go.

But its still tough to leave them in for a full day. But, when you see them make little friends, and thrive socially it does make it easier.

Thank you so much. Its alot easier knowing we are not the only ones!
As I type I am writting up a new family budget and I am going to go and speak with a lady from Citizens Advice to explore all avenues.

SF12

I took about 10 weeks unpaid leave. I was not ready to leave at 6 months either, but fast forward even just 2 months and she was much better able to deal with me going. Also we took a good few weeks to settle her with the new child minder.
The point I'm trying to make is that you don't have to take the full 16 weeks. Is there any way you could take 4 weeks, + any holidays you might have left over from last year? Also any bank holidays that occurred during your maternity leave should be added to the end of your mat leave too - presume you are aware of that.
It's horrible leaving them, it's only a few months since I did it - but you'd be so unbelievably surprised at how well they settle to a minder or creche. It always amazes me what ours will do for the minder that she wouldn't do for me! Having said that I totally understand where you're coming from because I was there myself a couple of months ago. If you can't work out anything, please try not to feel too awful....it does pass and they generally do just fine.
There is nothing worse than mother guilt...:(

Moonbeam

I never left my 1st child at all until the week before I went back to work and realised I had to do it sometime:) I went shopping for 2 hours while daddy minded her at home.
My 1st 2 were January babies and I went back to work in the Sept.

galah

They really are still so young at 6 months, it is very tough to leave them. Could you even try and go part time with parental leave? So that you dont have to leave baby for a long time, but just long enough to earn some money?

In my workplace, i can take parental leave on an hourly basis, which helps a lot - i know other places require blocks of 6 weeks, but it's defo worth asking.

I was very lucky that we were able to afford the full 16 weeks unpaid on both kids, i dont think i could have gone back after 6 months either

uck51js9zml2yt

One partner needs to be working a minimum of 38 hours per fortnight.
Welfare.ie has details of the income thresholds. Its 60% difference of your wage and the threshold amount.
Form can be downloaded. Both of you need sign it and enclose 2 payslips from the working partner.