Is my boyfriend's sister being selfish?

JumpShivers

My boyfriend's sister has a dog. She works every weekday and sends the dog over to her mother (also my boyfriends mother) all day while she is at work. Her boyfriend works too.

My boyfriend's mother walks the dog, feeds her, takes her out etc. My boyfriend's sister never does any of that.

She literally takes the dog in the evening when she's home and drops her back first thing in the morning.

The poor dog has HUGE nails now. My boyfriend has told her several times to get the nails clipped but to no avail. The dog seems to be in discomfort walking.

She seems to just want the dog as a piece of furniture and not as an actual pet / family member.

Should my boyfriend report her for neglect or would it be too obvious? My boyfriend was told by his sister not to interfere and his parents reinforced this saying that if he brings the pet to the groomer / vet behind her back he will have to leave the house and find a place to rent (he is 23 and currently between houses, this is irrelevant though).

peasant

Yes, nails need to be clipped and no, one doesn't necessarily need a groomer or vet to do that, just clippers (a tenner or so from the pet shop).

The rest is a family matter

LeakingLava

peasant wrote: »

Yes, nails need to be clipped and no, one doesn't necessarily need a groomer or vet to do that, just clippers (a tenner or so from the pet shop).

The rest is a family matter

5euro one available in tesco :P

tk123

JumpShivers wrote: »

M
Should my boyfriend report her for neglect or would it be too obvious? My boyfriend was told by his sister not to interfere and his parents reinforced this saying that if he brings the pet to the groomer / vet behind her back he will have to leave the house and find a place to rent (he is 23 and currently between houses, this is irrelevant though).

Negligence for not cutting the nails or dropping the dog to the mother - which is effectively daycare like what many dog owners have for their dogs so they're not home alone all day. I walk my dogs in the morning, feed them and go to work - my mum is with them all day, gives them their dinner and then I walk them again when I'm home. They're far from neglected!

For the nails speaking from experience the dog will be in AGONY if it breaks a nail. Not to mention vets fees, keeping a bandage clean and dry, bathing the nail after the bandages come off etc.. Will she even notice if your BF takes the dog to the vet/groomers? Not sure I'd recommend cutting them yourselves given the delicate nature of the situation in case you make a mistake and get found out?

Raminahobbin

For a minute there my heart stopped as I thought this post was about me written by my brother's GF or something!!! :P

The actual set up in terms of the dog being dropped back and forth is sometimes the only workaround to a situation like mine, where I live alone and work full time and wouldn't be able to have a dog plus any sort of social life if I didn't have my mam looking after my dog if she's at home anyway.

In terms of the nails, however, yes- the girl needs to get the finger out and get that sorted. If she won't, I'd call the parents bluff and take the dog to the vet. They're hardly going to kick up a fuss cos the dog is walking better; they probably won't even notice.

Pumpkinseeds

It sounds as if she's a bit of a cow. I met a woman at the vet last year with her daughters dog, a beautiful year old labrador. The daughter had got the dog a year before going off to Dublin to do a medical placement and the parents had got saddled with a dog they didn't want. The poor dog had no training and was jumping around and pulling badly on the leash. When her husband arrived you could see the tension. He clearly didn't want the dog and wanted rid of it, but the wife was caught between him and her daughter. So what I'm saying is that if people can't commit to a dog they shouldn't get one.

Ashbx

Just get the nails cut....I guarantee the sister wont even notice you did it!

Arbiter of Good Taste

I seriously wonder about the dysfunction in some families. Are the parents seriously threatening to kick the OP's boyfriend out if he gets the dog's nails clipped????

JumpShivers

Sorry to bump this thread but it's been there months on and the dogs nails are like an eagles claw at this stage, my boyfriend has also realised that his sister never walks the dog herself, first thing in the morning she drops the dog over, my boyfriends mam feeds and walks it, and then she comes and picks up the dog in ghe evening. She NEVER walks the dog on weekends.

It's almost like the dog is a commoditie for her and not a friend / family member.

él statutorio

Just cut the nails yourself, it's not that difficult.
If the dog has clear nails rather than black ones, it's super simple.

You'll see the blood vessel in the nail, just make sure you don't cut that.

Help!!!!

Can the BF not explain to his parents the harm the nails are doing to the dog & come to some sort of agreement?

FrostyJack

Help!!!! wrote: »

Can the BF not explain to his parents the harm the nails are doing to the dog & come to some sort of agreement?

Google an article showing the dangers of unclipped nails with link and print it off and show it to the parents/sister. If that doesn't work show them another. If that doesn't work then they are beyond help and do it yourself. If you had a video of it walking before and the way it walks now it may also help your cause.

ShaShaBear

Where on earth is the mother walking the dog 4/5 days of the week that the nails are not filing down naturally
Opie gets walked on a public pavement and his nails are filed the whole way down - we haven't had to cut them since the day we got him just under a year ago!

tk123

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Where on earth is the mother walking the dog 4/5 days of the week that the nails are not filing down naturally
Opie gets walked on a public pavement and his nails are filed the whole way down - we haven't had to cut them since the day we got him just under a year ago!

Grass maybe? Also if the dog's gait was off it would affect how they wear down - Bailey's nails used to grow and wear unevenly so had to be tidied up a lot before they were fixed with operations. I still cut them but not all of them if that makes sense - the same with Lucy and would cut their dew claws too.

OP if you're going to do anything just bring the dog to get it's nails cut. I would be a lot more annoyed at somebody (especially a family member!?) for reporting me than taking my dog to get it's nails cut?! Buy a gift voucher for a groomers even and say you won it online - done and dusted.

kylith

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Where on earth is the mother walking the dog 4/5 days of the week that the nails are not filing down naturally
Opie gets walked on a public pavement and his nails are filed the whole way down - we haven't had to cut them since the day we got him just under a year ago!

if it's somewhere with soft ground or if they don't go far then the nails won't get filed down enough.

ShaShaBear

tk123 wrote: »

Grass maybe? Also if the dog's gait was off it would affect how they wear down - Bailey's nails used to grow and wear unevenly so had to be tidied up a lot before they were fixed with operations. I still cut them but not all of them if that makes sense - the same with Lucy and would cut their dew claws too.

I forget some people walk dogs in the countryside :pac:
Still though, surely if the mother is walking the dog at least once daily she is able to see how the nails are affecting the dog's ability to walk comfortably?

kylith

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I forget some people walk dogs in the countryside :pac:
Still though, surely if the mother is walking the dog at least once daily she is able to see how the nails are affecting the dog's ability to walk comfortably?

You'd be amazed what people don't see when they don't want to. Or it could simply be the case that it's happened so gradually that they genuinely can't see it.

tk123

ShaShaBear wrote: »

I forget some people walk dogs in the countryside :pac:

There's grass in the city too lol! :pac:

ShaShaBear

tk123 wrote: »

There's grass in the city too lol! :pac:

Well yeah but there would be a lot of pavement in all the city areas I've normally walked a dog! I've never had an issue with long nails so it never occurred to me that people might not have any hard surface. My MIL walks her pom x collie once a day on a lane and it keeps his nails trim too.

Still is really awful that they are outright threatening the OH's boyfriend with homelessness because of an interest in animal welfare