leaving child in car

Wanderer78

tipparetops wrote: »

I find the parents that behave like this are the same parents who talk about nothing but their children. The parents I avoid at all costs.

i think zeffa hit the nail on the head to be honest. parenting looks extremely stressful at the best of times and some of us dont deal with stress very well

Neyite

tipparetops wrote: »

i am a parent but what has got to do anything.
i do not go around day dreaming about ways my children could be harmed.

you must be in constant panic mode.

parenting i guess makes some people illogical.

Panic? No I'm not a panickier by nature, and haven't had a situation where I've panicked over something to do with my child. I don't 'go around day-dreaming' about ways that harm can occur. No more than a builder who wears a hard hat and steel toe-capped boots 'panics' that he'll fall off a scaffold or get nails through the toes. Using recommended safety equipment and taking care to do things like use safe blind cords does not make a parent illogical. We use it because sometimes its the law, sometimes its for peace of mind.

kandr10

My kid (who can't yet walk) in the past week has managed to a) climb right up on a kitchen step to the sink and b) down the end of a glass of coke that was sitting out on a coffee table, all while my back was turned for about a min. I've removed the step and will be more careful about where I put glasses down now I know she can do these things. No panic. No hysteria. Just reacting to what's going on. I'm feeling fortunate that I caught her doing these things before she hurt herself. I don't want to take the risk that someone could break into the car, handbrake could be faulty, get delayed while she's in the car so I take her out. No panic, no hysteria. Just reacting to instinct. When she's old enough and responsible enough to do things alone, she will.
I hate the way people harp back to the good old days, this mentality that 'I turned out fine' just doesn't cut it for me because not everyone had that experience.

whats_my_name

I think it's all about context too though. It depends on the child, some people have said their child would panic if they woke up & couldn't see them whereas my child wouldn't & has never even when he was a newborn or toddler. Wouldn't have fazed him. Others say that their child had reflux, mine didn't. Needless to say that period of time known as the terrible 2's or in my case the 3's I wouldn't of been able to do it, he was too inquisitive & if the chance arose to get into the drivers seat & mess or even go outside he would of but that was the only time I would of not considered leaving him even though it was a torture bringing him into a shop!

It also depends on the area you are in. My local shop is in a village, petrol stations in the local town. I'm not going to be held up for anything more than 3 minutes tops. Also you would know most of the people there too so I would consider it extremely safe.

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

I do stand by my comments about the whole thing being OTT. My friends are currently pregnant & the gizmo's & gadgets that they are currently discussing at the minute, some of them are downright farcical, companies playing on the insecurities of new mothers & then them mothers in turn making each other feel crap & questioning whether they are responsible parents or not. Parents have enough to be contending with without the added pressure of keeping up with each other & the judgement of others. I didn't have half the things my friends have now for their new born & my son is only 7 & he is a perfectly healthy, happy boy.

pwurple

whats_my_name wrote: »

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

Not sure about that. It's not like the statistics are published. Colleague with a recently nct'd car went on fire while he was driving in the last three weeks, and he's not the first I've heard of. A friend was driving her car when a rat jumped up on the seat. People have a misplaced trust in electrical devices. I think I was exposed to a lot of electrical faults as a child or something. I've seen phone chargers start smoking. It's actually amazing to me that more stuff doesn't blow up. My parents always switched off everything electrical every night, at the mains. It's a habit I continue, and it freaks me out when I see an dodgy overloaded extension sitting on a pile of newspapers in my mother in laws house.

tipparetops

Neyite wrote: »

Panic? No I'm not a panickier by nature, and haven't had a situation where I've panicked over something to do with my child. I don't 'go around day-dreaming' about ways that harm can occur. No more than a builder who wears a hard hat and steel toe-capped boots 'panics' that he'll fall off a scaffold or get nails through the toes. Using recommended safety equipment and taking care to do things like use safe blind cords does not make a parent illogical. We use it because sometimes its the law, sometimes its for peace of mind.

What has protecting your children from realistic hazards got to with leaving your child alone in a car for ninety seconds.

If every parent had such strong feelings as you about the health of their children,
no child would be in a creche.

Neyite

tipparetops wrote: »

What has protecting your children from realistic hazards got to with leaving your child alone in a car for ninety seconds.

If every parent had such strong feelings as you about the health of their children,
no child would be in a creche.

Tell you what. Why dont you read my posts instead of making it up.

I do leave my child in the car - in certain circumstances for the time it takes to get fuel, for example, if its within sight of me. And he has been in creche since 10 months old, and I'm totally confident that he is well cared for and safe there.

But I'm not blasting parents who choose not to leave their child in a car for whatever reason they have. I'm a bit more understanding of the fact we all parent differently and respect other parents for how they rear their kids as long they love and look after them.

tipparetops

Neyite wrote: »

Tell you what. Why dont you read my posts instead of making it up.

I do leave my child in the car - in certain circumstances for the time it takes to get fuel, for example, if its within sight of me. And he has been in creche since 10 months old, and I'm totally confident that he is well cared for and safe there.

But I'm not blasting parents who choose not to leave their child in a car for whatever reason they have. I'm a bit more understanding of the fact we all parent differently and respect other parents for how they rear their kids as long they love and look after them.

Read post 79, your post.
It describes what you believe is the right behaviour regarding leaving a child alone in a car.

i was simply inferring that if a parent is afraid to leave their child in a car, how would they leave them in a creche.
It is difficult to answer this point, so I can see why you did not.

kandr10

whats_my_name wrote: »

I think it's all about context too though. It depends on the child, some people have said their child would panic if they woke up & couldn't see them whereas my child wouldn't & has never even when he was a newborn or toddler. Wouldn't have fazed him. Others say that their child had reflux, mine didn't. Needless to say that period of time known as the terrible 2's or in my case the 3's I wouldn't of been able to do it, he was too inquisitive & if the chance arose to get into the drivers seat & mess or even go outside he would of but that was the only time I would of not considered leaving him even though it was a torture bringing him into a shop!

It also depends on the area you are in. My local shop is in a village, petrol stations in the local town. I'm not going to be held up for anything more than 3 minutes tops. Also you would know most of the people there too so I would consider it extremely safe.

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

I do stand by my comments about the whole thing being OTT. My friends are currently pregnant & the gizmo's & gadgets that they are currently discussing at the minute, some of them are downright farcical, companies playing on the insecurities of new mothers & then them mothers in turn making each other feel crap & questioning whether they are responsible parents or not. Parents have enough to be contending with without the added pressure of keeping up with each other & the judgement of others. I didn't have half the things my friends have now for their new born & my son is only 7 & he is a perfectly healthy, happy boy.

I couldn't agree more that it depends on context. But despite saying that, you still say it's ott!
I also agree that there's a lot of unnecessary stuff sold to new parents but I have to say I didn't buy into a lot of the gadgets and so on myself.

Nevertheless, I still take the child out of the car. It doesn't cost anything. Nobody told me to. I just do. It bears no relation to marketing of products for me. As in, it's not just parents who buy into gadgets etc that would make these decisions around child's safety in a car.

kandr10

tipparetops wrote: »

Read post 79, your post.
It describes what you believe is the right behaviour regarding leaving a child alone in a car.

i was simply inferring that if a parent is afraid to leave their child in a car, how would they leave them in a creche.
It is difficult to answer this point, so I can see why you did not.

In a crèche they're supervised. In a car, alone, they aren't. obviously accidents can happen anywhere, even at home wit supervision but if you take that away then you're obviously maximising risk rather than minimising it.

Also for some, taking a child out of the car is equivalent to basic safety measure like hard hats on building sites etc.

tipparetops

kandr10 wrote: »

In a crèche they're supervised. In a car, alone, they aren't. obviously accidents can happen anywhere, even at home wit supervision but if you take that away then you're obviously maximising risk rather than minimising it.

Also for some, taking a child out of the car is equivalent to basic safety measure like hard hats on building sites etc.

in a creche children pick up dreadful stuff.
My neighbours kid got herpes on their head, picked it up off a child in the creche.

The point I am making is that if a parent is so strict when it comes to health and safety how could they leave their child with total strangers, where they could pick up anything or worse.

Oh wait, maybe I have been affected by the hysteria.

Sligo1

tipparetops wrote: »

in a creche children pick up dreadful stuff.
My neighbours kid got herpes on their head, picked it up off a child in the creche.

The point I am making is that if a parent is so strict when it comes to health and safety how could they leave their child with total strangers, where they could pick up anything or worse.

Oh wait, maybe I have been affected by the hysteria.

Perhaps people who leave their child in a crèche do not have a choice to do otherwise because of their financial situation or whatever... People who leave their children in cars always have a choice. I leave mine in as I said previously for a minute so long as I can see into the car and see them directly. But imo is is absolutely ludicrous to be comparing this to creche where parents don't always have a choice...

tipparetops

Sligo1 wrote: »

Perhaps people who leave their child in a crèche do not have a choice to do otherwise because of their financial situation or whatever... People who leave their children in cars always have a choice. I leave mine in as I said previously for a minute so long as I can see into the car and see them directly. But imo is is absolutely ludicrous to be comparing this to creche where parents don't always have a choice...

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

January

tipparetops, stop trying to goad other posters into reacting to your posts by calling them hysteric and mental cases.

Either discuss the issue without name calling or do not post at all.

kandr10

tipparetops wrote: »

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

Of course protectiveness is selective. Some things worry me, others not so much, other risks I'm not aware of until they happen. Also, how can you in one breath say if parents do this one thing they're being overprotective and hysterical and in the next admit that it is selective, which counters any indication of hysteria?

tipparetops

kandr10 wrote: »

Of course protectiveness is selective. Some things worry me, others not so much, other risks I'm not aware of until they happen. Also, how can you in one breath say if parents do this one thing they're being overprotective and hysterical and in the next admit that it is selective, which counters any indication of hysteria?

With respect I am totally wrong about everything I have posted. I am sorry for daring to question other posters. I hope you and like minded posters accept my apology.

Sligo1

tipparetops wrote: »

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

I'm sorry, but I have not left my child in a crèche. My 2.5yo and my 1yo have been with me and me only since day 1. Recently my 2.5 yo has started playschool 1 day per week for 3 hours. No where have I said I've left my child in creche. U are spouting absolute tripe here.

I said, "some" parents may need to leave their child in creche due to their financial situations. This is not a choice. And this is about financial situations in most cases. By leaving a child in a car where you cannot see then... U do have a choice.

tipparetops

Sligo1 wrote: »

I'm sorry, but I have not left my child in a crèche. My 2.5yo and my 1yo have been with me and me only since day 1. Recently my 2.5 yo has started playschool 1 day per week for 3 hours. No where have I said I've left my child in creche. U are spouting absolute tripe here.

I said, "some" parents may need to leave their child in creche due to their financial situations. This is not a choice. And this is about financial situations in most cases. By leaving a child in a car where you cannot see then... U do have a choice.

well said, i have to leave this thread now as you can see from a few posts back.
Sorry for calling you hysterical and a mental case.
Stay Classy

amie lee

I think few minutes fine to leave kid in car who is happy not upset as long as U near car or can see trough glass I go into garage for milk or bread if I bring little fellow in with me he pull shop apart unless in buggy . I couldn't get buggy out everytime just fir a litre of milk he have screaming match at till and end up with some junk food everytime id shop. Id b stressed outa me head

Dunford

Wanderer78 wrote: »

stupid child care in this country. sick of it. it ll just never change

our child care here in spain works out at about 3€ an hour. also, its pay as you go.

uck51js9zml2yt

Dunford wrote: »

our child care here in spain works out at about 3€ an hour. also, its pay as you go.

If my experience of wages in Portugal relate to Spain as well, they are a lot lower than here.
That said costs in Ireland are high.
We had our son in a Montessori and paid for his first year. 15 hours a week cost 65euro which was great value.

January

Carolyn Ambitious Wreck wrote: »

If my experience of wages in Portugal relate to Spain as well, they are a lot lower than here.
That said costs in Ireland are high.
We had our son in a Montessori and paid for his first year. 15 hours a week cost 65euro which was great value.

I pay 30€ for 12 hours in the local play school. Brilliant value.

Akrasia

Its impossible to not leave children in the car sometimes

I've got 3 kids all of them under 6

Its time for school. Oldest kid is getting dressed, youngest child is ready to go, so I put her into the car and strap her in. I walk the 20 steps back to the house to get her 4 year old sister and bring her to the car with her older brother. The 2 year old is safer strapped in the car by herself, than she would be if I brought her back into the house and then tried to strap all the 3 kids into their seats at the same time.

In the real world, children are fully never supervised 100% of the time
Its impossible

How is anyone supposed to cook dinner with toddlers in the house if you can't give them some toys to play with while you cook the food.

Its much more dangerous to leave a child 'unattended' in a house than it is to leave a child strapped into a car seat in a locked car parked in a safe parking space for 90 seconds while you pay for petrol or collect an older child from a creche

Its also more dangerous sometimes to take the child out of the car where she/he could run off, or distract you while his/her sibling runs off and gets hit by a car.

Parenting is all about exchanging risks, everything we do involves a risk of one side or another. All we can do is use our own best judgement and decide what risks to take

Even if we could eliminate all danger from our childrens lives, this in itself would cause damage to the child, because encountering danger and dealing with bangs and falls and scrapes and uncertainty are all essential parts of learning how to live in the real world.

Cunning Stunt

I put my child in the car yesterday morning to go to daycare / work. Had him strapped in and all. Realized I forgot my phone. It was a hassle but I unstrapped him again, took him out and brought him in with me to get it.
I would not like to leave him in the car alone - for one thing, he would roar after me, and for another, I would just be nervous in general about leaving him there alone. So call me irrational if you want, but I will always avoid situations where my child is left alone, as much as I can. My colleague laughed at me when I told her - said she would often leave her child in the car while she dropped her older child in to playschool. Each to their own.

Neyite

I just spotted on facebook, this interesting experiment about car temperatures. The experiment was done by Calgary Humane Society and Calgary Fire Department:

The temperature outside and inside the cars at the start was 24 degrees centigrade.

After 10 minutes, the car with the windows fully wound down registered at 36.3 degrees, the one with the windows open a crack registered 37.2 degrees, and the one with the windows fully up registered 38.3 degrees.

In just 10 minutes. Wow.
Like, on a nice summers day, you could easily be 10 or 15 mins queuing up for icecreams and pay for fuel.

January

I'm sitting in the car with my 1 year old asleep atm. I'm boiled so I've had to roll down all the windows... and it's not a warm day outside! you couldn't leave a child on their own in it.

Ms2011

I've never had to wait 10 mins to pay for petrol.
I've often been 10 mins stopped in traffic on a warm day, nothing I can about that other than not drive on a hot day.

Sligo1

Ah yea but when your driving or stopped in traffic the car is running and you can have the aircon on?

That said, if I had to pay for petrol I would run in so long as I could see the children in the car from where I was paying. Which I can in my local shop and petrol station.

pwurple

A stranger tried to get in to my car. I had the baby in the back. Freaked me out. And I read a few cases of it happening around the city in the few weeks after that. One where a guy had robbed a car at a petrol station with two kids in the back, gone on a joyride. The keys had been left in to keep the radio and aircon on while they paid. Out of his head on something.

I never left a child in a car after that. Fuel... Got it on the way home from work or at night when they were asleep. I don't bring children to supermarkets anyway. I can't think of any other situation where I would do it. Our carseat popped out if she was asleep.

Suucee

When i had 1 child i always took her out. never thought anything of it.
now that i have 2 i generally get OH to get petrol in the evening. failing that i pop to my local petrol station. fill up, run in and pay. on one occasion it was slightly busier and i just asked could i pay the €20 for pump 3. people in the queue were fine as its a local place where we all know each other. the car is in sight when i run in too.

The other day we were all under the weather. i needed to pop out to get something for dinner. the butchers is also on the forecourt where the petrol station is. i normally walk to it. but it was raining and kids were in fowl form . i parked right outside i could see the kids from the counter no problem. .

ive also left them in the car in a carpark when ive walked over to get a ticket. i got a funny look one day when i seen a lady looking in the window and seen them in it. i was a few metres away but in my opinion it was safer to go get the ticket than take out baba put him in sling take out toddler and then have to walk over and back with a ticket and then head off in to the shops. both my kids are healthy and havent had reflux so i can see the other side of this.

My 3yr old will be starting pre school in september and i hadnt even thought about it. i will probably walk some mornings but if not the entrance is around the back out of sight so i will drag out the then 17mnth old too id say. espercially as i dont know if pick ups will take 10 seconds or 10 mins.

amie lee

I think every situation is different its not easy with small ones sometimes U have to leave them for few sectons it just makes life easier its not like U going off doing a trolley of shopping for an hour leaving babies in car.just cause people view your kids in public do they want to come to your home and view everthing U do there weather U watching them ever second of the day in the house its just not possible.

SF12

Akrasia wrote: »

Its impossible to not leave children in the car sometimes

In the real world, children are fully never supervised 100% of the time
Its impossible

Parenting is all about exchanging risks, everything we do involves a risk of one side or another. All we can do is use our own best judgement and decide what risks to take

Even if we could eliminate all danger from our childrens lives, this in itself would cause damage to the child, because encountering danger and dealing with bangs and falls and scrapes and uncertainty are all essential parts of learning how to live in the real world.

Utter common sense
The problem is that the parenting experts out there that are constantly quoted on every website, newspaper and TV programme would have you believe otherwise. When people are fed a diet of hysteria about parenting, they naturally begin to become completely paranoid about everything themselves.

mitresize5

SF12 wrote: »

Utter common sense
The problem is that the parenting experts out there that are constantly quoted on every website, newspaper and TV programme would have you believe otherwise. When people are fed a diet of hysteria about parenting, they naturally begin to become completely paranoid about everything themselves.

100% agreed.

Now each to their own but I do wonder how parents (my own family included) get to enjoy their time with their kids when they are constantly on guard for 'threats'.

Next they'll be saying you cant smack a bold child either ...... gets coat and does a runner :-)

pwurple

mitresize5 wrote: »

Now each to their own but I do wonder how parents (my own family included) get to enjoy their time with their kids when they are constantly on guard for 'threats'.

I don't know what kind of enjoyable time you have, but trips to the petrol station and the supermarket, where you leave the kids sweating strapped into a seat are WAY down my list of fun things to do with my children! I avoid both of those like the plague.

We'll be on our bikes in the park instead. *waves*

lazygal

mitresize5 wrote: »

100% agreed.

Now each to their own but I do wonder how parents (my own family included) get to enjoy their time with their kids when they are constantly on guard for 'threats'.

Next they'll be saying you cant smack a bold child either ...... gets coat and does a runner :-)

There's things my parents never did with us that their parents didn't see anything wrong with, and there's things we don't do that they saw nothing wrong with because the advice has changed, like starting solids later. Nothing paranoid about it whatsoever and avoiding leaving your children alone in a car isn't a major inconvenience.

And I hope you're joking about smacking. It's not only the least effective form of discipline, it will soon I hope be illegal. Physical chastisment of children is not acceptable under any circumstances.

IvyTheTerrible

I'll just leave this here: http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2015/06/12/wwns-guide-to-leaving-your-kid-in-the-car-while-you-run-to-the-shop-for-two-minutes/

harpsman

Yes, the car could blow up, but there’s a far higher chance of a toddler escaping your grasp and running out on a busy road and getting crushed to death. There’s also a higher chance of you having an accident with the kids in the car. If you think it’s unsafe to leave children unattended in the car then you shouldn’t have them in the car in the first place.

Hoboo

You wouldn't leave a million quid in notes sitting on your back seat. Surely a child is worth more.

sillysocks

Hoboo wrote: »

You wouldn't leave a million quid in notes sitting on your back seat. Surely a child is worth more.

Yes but how many times has a baby been abducted from a car vs a wallet stolen from the seat. The majority of criminals aren’t out to steal a baby!

kippy

The same as a lot of things, the appropriateness if leaving a child alone in a car depends on a lot of variables in my opinion.
Some of the horror stories being posted as examples of why not to leave a child alone in a car are completely missing the point.

Hoboo

sillysocks wrote: »

Yes but how many times has a baby been abducted from a car vs a wallet stolen from the seat. The majority of criminals aren’t out to steal a baby!

Correct, but its the minority Id be concerned about. Fires btw dont distinguish between money and babies. I agree its the smallest of chance, one in a million, but Id prefer not to be that one.

kippy

Hoboo wrote: »

Correct, but its the minority Id be concerned about. Fires btw dont distinguish between money and babies. I agree its the smallest of chance, one in a million, but Id prefer not to be that one.

How do you feel about leaving kids/babies alone in a room in the house? The bedroom for example.

farmchoice

like most things in life its a question of a bit of common sense. hard and fast rules applied to bringing up kids (or life in general) rarely lead to a happy life.

situations are different so take each case on its merits. you dont apply the same criteria to leaving your kids sitting in the car while you go into a quite county shop from where you can see them out the window, to leaving them sitting in your car on capel st while you head over to brown thomas for a spot of lunch.

as a parent with a car its safe to assume you are least 18 years old so you should have the mental capacity to assess a situation decide the level of risk versus what you consider an acceptable level of risk and act accordingly.

now its easy for me to say this as i never have to worry about my kids being taken, as it has often been said to me, ''if anyone every took any of your kids they would be back with them in about 15 minutes begging to give the little horrors back.''

WittyName1

This thread is 3 years old