leaving child in car

zeffabelli

Neyite wrote: »

Trying to catch mercury - I love it!

I do agree, it has to be something you assess - as some have rightly pointed out, including yourself, that juggling multiple toddlers could be more risky. Especially when they see the sweet display

I just feel more comfortable if when leaving children in the car, that they are in my line of sight if I'm paying for something or talking to someone. Not because the car will explode though, mostly because he's gotten awfully upset if he wakes and cant see me, and takes him ages to calm down. So if its a quiet garage or shop and I can see the car (and he can see me) then grand. If its out of sight, its less hassle for me in the long run to bring him in.

Several kids though? It'd be a different story I'm sure. I'd have to get back to you on that!

Yeah babies will freak if they wake and don't see you, and mine would have been the same, so that has more to do with not upsetting them then worrying about them spontaneously exploding.

And they are so sensitive, they tend to (or mine did ) "know" if you left the room, even to go the bathroom for 90 seconds....and wake up!!!

2Mad2BeMad

well op.

When I was 4 my dad was driving to the crech to pick up my younger sister.
He parked the car on the slope as that was near the entrance right beside a main busy rd.
He left me in the car while he ran in. He was probably only about 30 seconds. But i cant remember that cause i nearly died. The cars hand brakes failed (or were already broken) and he double locked the doors so the car rolled backwards onto the main rd and i couldnt get out even though i tried. I remember seeing a man running after me and trying to open the door but it was too late another car hit me from the side. I woke up in hospital with minor injuries to my head and brokèn right arm And bruised ribs lucky i was sitting behind the driver seat because if i was behind the passanger the impact would of definitly killed me Because the whole left side of the car was non exsistant.

Moral of my story and what i learned from it is to never leave your kids in the car on their own Cause i certainly never will. And if you do dont double lock it.

Sligo1

Cienciano wrote: »

I'd leave them. What about getting petrol? People here would genuinely bring their kids into the petrol station? Now imagine you have 2 or 3 kids?

I get my husband to fill my car up in the evening when the kids are in bed. That's more because I'm lazy tho....

Wanderer78

stupid child care in this country. sick of it. it ll just never change

Neyite

Wanderer78 wrote: »

stupid child care in this country. sick of it. it ll just never change

What's that got to do with leaving a kid in the car though?

Gee_G

Neyite wrote: »

What's that got to do with leaving a kid in the car though?

Do you not know that It and crèches are to blame for everything??!:)

Wanderer78

Neyite wrote: »

What's that got to do with leaving a kid in the car though?

apologies i should have explained myself better but reading and writing is hard work for me. i see this as a much bigger problem. child care in ireland should be 'free'. the current system is putting incredible pressure on parents to make it happen. parents are already under enough pressure trying to deal with their kids and life in general. stressed people have the tendency to make poor decisions such as leaving kids in cars or dragging all kids together thus snowballing their situation. if we had a 'free' child care system there would be a lot less problems related to it. stupid ireland

tipparetops

Neyite wrote: »

You could say the same for all types of hazards where the chances of them harming themselves is miniscule:
It is hysteria to have sharp knives put away in a safe place.
It is hysteria to have a stairgate.
It is hysteria to have water barrels covered on a farm.
It is hysteria to wear a bike helmet.

See where I'm going with this?

Some posters here think using a baby monitor with a sensor mat is hysteria. But for those who have seen the devastation of cot death in their friends or family it gives them the peace of mind to sleep at night. Others think amber beads are the stupidest things ever, a choking hazard, even though to date, there have been no deaths as a result of amber beads.

We do lots of things automatically that reduces the risk of harm to our children. And yes, we did things differently in our day -not necessarily safer. Remember all the water, farm, and fire safety ads in the 80's anyone? In my day we didn't even have rear seat belts, and none of us died. But now not only do we have rear seat belts, but we have car seats for children. Cars were decrepit too. No NCT back then, I vividly remember cars in my neighbourhood held together with twine.

We never had carbon monoxide or smoke detectors or house alarms, or car alarms or any of those things, but they are pretty much standard now. Times change.

So yes, I agree that the risk when leaving a child in a car is tiny. But if it becomes a habit to leave Child 2 in the car safely sleeping while you pop in to get Child 1 from school, its easy to stretch out that 90 seconds until it becomes 5 minutes, or 10 and someday, you get held up for 20- 30 minutes talking to a teacher/ school mum and its that rare 'heat-wave' weather outside. And you come out to find your toddler badly sunburnt.

So, to me, its just one of those many automatic things you do to minimise risk. We all parent differently and labelling a parent hysterical or mental and scoffing at them because they don't do things exactly the way you do reeks of sanctimony.

Actually, with a grand total of two posts in parenting, both of them in this thread, and both of them criticising parents, I wonder if you are even a parent yourself. Or are you one of those non-parent posters who wander in from AH other forums to tell us how to do our job properly and call us names?

i am a parent but what has got to do anything.
i do not go around day dreaming about ways my children could be harmed.

you must be in constant panic mode.

parenting i guess makes some people illogical.

zeffabelli

tipparetops wrote: »

i am a parent but what has got to do anything.
i do not go around day dreaming about ways my children could be harmed.

you must be in constant panic mode.

parenting i guess makes some people illogical.

Parenting does make people irrational. We know we are going to die, but we don't know how and we don't know when.

What we want above all is to ensure our kids outlive us.

This terror is used by advertising and media to make an absolute fortune.

tipparetops

zeffabelli wrote: »

Parenting does make people irrational. We know we are going to die, but we don't know how and we don't know when.

What we want above all is to ensure our kids outlive us.

This terror is used by advertising and media to make an absolute fortune.

I find the parents that behave like this are the same parents who talk about nothing but their children. The parents I avoid at all costs.

Wanderer78

tipparetops wrote: »

I find the parents that behave like this are the same parents who talk about nothing but their children. The parents I avoid at all costs.

i think zeffa hit the nail on the head to be honest. parenting looks extremely stressful at the best of times and some of us dont deal with stress very well

Neyite

tipparetops wrote: »

i am a parent but what has got to do anything.
i do not go around day dreaming about ways my children could be harmed.

you must be in constant panic mode.

parenting i guess makes some people illogical.

Panic? No I'm not a panickier by nature, and haven't had a situation where I've panicked over something to do with my child. I don't 'go around day-dreaming' about ways that harm can occur. No more than a builder who wears a hard hat and steel toe-capped boots 'panics' that he'll fall off a scaffold or get nails through the toes. Using recommended safety equipment and taking care to do things like use safe blind cords does not make a parent illogical. We use it because sometimes its the law, sometimes its for peace of mind.

kandr10

My kid (who can't yet walk) in the past week has managed to a) climb right up on a kitchen step to the sink and b) down the end of a glass of coke that was sitting out on a coffee table, all while my back was turned for about a min. I've removed the step and will be more careful about where I put glasses down now I know she can do these things. No panic. No hysteria. Just reacting to what's going on. I'm feeling fortunate that I caught her doing these things before she hurt herself. I don't want to take the risk that someone could break into the car, handbrake could be faulty, get delayed while she's in the car so I take her out. No panic, no hysteria. Just reacting to instinct. When she's old enough and responsible enough to do things alone, she will.
I hate the way people harp back to the good old days, this mentality that 'I turned out fine' just doesn't cut it for me because not everyone had that experience.

whats_my_name

I think it's all about context too though. It depends on the child, some people have said their child would panic if they woke up & couldn't see them whereas my child wouldn't & has never even when he was a newborn or toddler. Wouldn't have fazed him. Others say that their child had reflux, mine didn't. Needless to say that period of time known as the terrible 2's or in my case the 3's I wouldn't of been able to do it, he was too inquisitive & if the chance arose to get into the drivers seat & mess or even go outside he would of but that was the only time I would of not considered leaving him even though it was a torture bringing him into a shop!

It also depends on the area you are in. My local shop is in a village, petrol stations in the local town. I'm not going to be held up for anything more than 3 minutes tops. Also you would know most of the people there too so I would consider it extremely safe.

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

I do stand by my comments about the whole thing being OTT. My friends are currently pregnant & the gizmo's & gadgets that they are currently discussing at the minute, some of them are downright farcical, companies playing on the insecurities of new mothers & then them mothers in turn making each other feel crap & questioning whether they are responsible parents or not. Parents have enough to be contending with without the added pressure of keeping up with each other & the judgement of others. I didn't have half the things my friends have now for their new born & my son is only 7 & he is a perfectly healthy, happy boy.

pwurple

whats_my_name wrote: »

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

Not sure about that. It's not like the statistics are published. Colleague with a recently nct'd car went on fire while he was driving in the last three weeks, and he's not the first I've heard of. A friend was driving her car when a rat jumped up on the seat. People have a misplaced trust in electrical devices. I think I was exposed to a lot of electrical faults as a child or something. I've seen phone chargers start smoking. It's actually amazing to me that more stuff doesn't blow up. My parents always switched off everything electrical every night, at the mains. It's a habit I continue, and it freaks me out when I see an dodgy overloaded extension sitting on a pile of newspapers in my mother in laws house.

tipparetops

Neyite wrote: »

Panic? No I'm not a panickier by nature, and haven't had a situation where I've panicked over something to do with my child. I don't 'go around day-dreaming' about ways that harm can occur. No more than a builder who wears a hard hat and steel toe-capped boots 'panics' that he'll fall off a scaffold or get nails through the toes. Using recommended safety equipment and taking care to do things like use safe blind cords does not make a parent illogical. We use it because sometimes its the law, sometimes its for peace of mind.

What has protecting your children from realistic hazards got to with leaving your child alone in a car for ninety seconds.

If every parent had such strong feelings as you about the health of their children,
no child would be in a creche.

Neyite

tipparetops wrote: »

What has protecting your children from realistic hazards got to with leaving your child alone in a car for ninety seconds.

If every parent had such strong feelings as you about the health of their children,
no child would be in a creche.

Tell you what. Why dont you read my posts instead of making it up.

I do leave my child in the car - in certain circumstances for the time it takes to get fuel, for example, if its within sight of me. And he has been in creche since 10 months old, and I'm totally confident that he is well cared for and safe there.

But I'm not blasting parents who choose not to leave their child in a car for whatever reason they have. I'm a bit more understanding of the fact we all parent differently and respect other parents for how they rear their kids as long they love and look after them.

tipparetops

Neyite wrote: »

Tell you what. Why dont you read my posts instead of making it up.

I do leave my child in the car - in certain circumstances for the time it takes to get fuel, for example, if its within sight of me. And he has been in creche since 10 months old, and I'm totally confident that he is well cared for and safe there.

But I'm not blasting parents who choose not to leave their child in a car for whatever reason they have. I'm a bit more understanding of the fact we all parent differently and respect other parents for how they rear their kids as long they love and look after them.

Read post 79, your post.
It describes what you believe is the right behaviour regarding leaving a child alone in a car.

i was simply inferring that if a parent is afraid to leave their child in a car, how would they leave them in a creche.
It is difficult to answer this point, so I can see why you did not.

kandr10

whats_my_name wrote: »

I think it's all about context too though. It depends on the child, some people have said their child would panic if they woke up & couldn't see them whereas my child wouldn't & has never even when he was a newborn or toddler. Wouldn't have fazed him. Others say that their child had reflux, mine didn't. Needless to say that period of time known as the terrible 2's or in my case the 3's I wouldn't of been able to do it, he was too inquisitive & if the chance arose to get into the drivers seat & mess or even go outside he would of but that was the only time I would of not considered leaving him even though it was a torture bringing him into a shop!

It also depends on the area you are in. My local shop is in a village, petrol stations in the local town. I'm not going to be held up for anything more than 3 minutes tops. Also you would know most of the people there too so I would consider it extremely safe.

Also people mentioning handbrakes faiing/cars going on fire, surely with the NCT been enforced this is a thing of the past? Cars are so much safer & road worthy compared to when we were children.

I do stand by my comments about the whole thing being OTT. My friends are currently pregnant & the gizmo's & gadgets that they are currently discussing at the minute, some of them are downright farcical, companies playing on the insecurities of new mothers & then them mothers in turn making each other feel crap & questioning whether they are responsible parents or not. Parents have enough to be contending with without the added pressure of keeping up with each other & the judgement of others. I didn't have half the things my friends have now for their new born & my son is only 7 & he is a perfectly healthy, happy boy.

I couldn't agree more that it depends on context. But despite saying that, you still say it's ott!
I also agree that there's a lot of unnecessary stuff sold to new parents but I have to say I didn't buy into a lot of the gadgets and so on myself.

Nevertheless, I still take the child out of the car. It doesn't cost anything. Nobody told me to. I just do. It bears no relation to marketing of products for me. As in, it's not just parents who buy into gadgets etc that would make these decisions around child's safety in a car.

kandr10

tipparetops wrote: »

Read post 79, your post.
It describes what you believe is the right behaviour regarding leaving a child alone in a car.

i was simply inferring that if a parent is afraid to leave their child in a car, how would they leave them in a creche.
It is difficult to answer this point, so I can see why you did not.

In a crèche they're supervised. In a car, alone, they aren't. obviously accidents can happen anywhere, even at home wit supervision but if you take that away then you're obviously maximising risk rather than minimising it.

Also for some, taking a child out of the car is equivalent to basic safety measure like hard hats on building sites etc.

tipparetops

kandr10 wrote: »

In a crèche they're supervised. In a car, alone, they aren't. obviously accidents can happen anywhere, even at home wit supervision but if you take that away then you're obviously maximising risk rather than minimising it.

Also for some, taking a child out of the car is equivalent to basic safety measure like hard hats on building sites etc.

in a creche children pick up dreadful stuff.
My neighbours kid got herpes on their head, picked it up off a child in the creche.

The point I am making is that if a parent is so strict when it comes to health and safety how could they leave their child with total strangers, where they could pick up anything or worse.

Oh wait, maybe I have been affected by the hysteria.

Sligo1

tipparetops wrote: »

in a creche children pick up dreadful stuff.
My neighbours kid got herpes on their head, picked it up off a child in the creche.

The point I am making is that if a parent is so strict when it comes to health and safety how could they leave their child with total strangers, where they could pick up anything or worse.

Oh wait, maybe I have been affected by the hysteria.

Perhaps people who leave their child in a crèche do not have a choice to do otherwise because of their financial situation or whatever... People who leave their children in cars always have a choice. I leave mine in as I said previously for a minute so long as I can see into the car and see them directly. But imo is is absolutely ludicrous to be comparing this to creche where parents don't always have a choice...

tipparetops

Sligo1 wrote: »

Perhaps people who leave their child in a crèche do not have a choice to do otherwise because of their financial situation or whatever... People who leave their children in cars always have a choice. I leave mine in as I said previously for a minute so long as I can see into the car and see them directly. But imo is is absolutely ludicrous to be comparing this to creche where parents don't always have a choice...

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

January

tipparetops, stop trying to goad other posters into reacting to your posts by calling them hysteric and mental cases.

Either discuss the issue without name calling or do not post at all.

kandr10

tipparetops wrote: »

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

Of course protectiveness is selective. Some things worry me, others not so much, other risks I'm not aware of until they happen. Also, how can you in one breath say if parents do this one thing they're being overprotective and hysterical and in the next admit that it is selective, which counters any indication of hysteria?

tipparetops

kandr10 wrote: »

Of course protectiveness is selective. Some things worry me, others not so much, other risks I'm not aware of until they happen. Also, how can you in one breath say if parents do this one thing they're being overprotective and hysterical and in the next admit that it is selective, which counters any indication of hysteria?

With respect I am totally wrong about everything I have posted. I am sorry for daring to question other posters. I hope you and like minded posters accept my apology.

Sligo1

tipparetops wrote: »

This is not about financial situations.

You can leave your child in a creche but you cannot leave them in a car unless you can see them at all times.
I have no problem with overprotective parents, its just strange that the over protectiveness
is selective.

I'm sorry, but I have not left my child in a crèche. My 2.5yo and my 1yo have been with me and me only since day 1. Recently my 2.5 yo has started playschool 1 day per week for 3 hours. No where have I said I've left my child in creche. U are spouting absolute tripe here.

I said, "some" parents may need to leave their child in creche due to their financial situations. This is not a choice. And this is about financial situations in most cases. By leaving a child in a car where you cannot see then... U do have a choice.

tipparetops

Sligo1 wrote: »

I'm sorry, but I have not left my child in a crèche. My 2.5yo and my 1yo have been with me and me only since day 1. Recently my 2.5 yo has started playschool 1 day per week for 3 hours. No where have I said I've left my child in creche. U are spouting absolute tripe here.

I said, "some" parents may need to leave their child in creche due to their financial situations. This is not a choice. And this is about financial situations in most cases. By leaving a child in a car where you cannot see then... U do have a choice.

well said, i have to leave this thread now as you can see from a few posts back.
Sorry for calling you hysterical and a mental case.
Stay Classy

amie lee

I think few minutes fine to leave kid in car who is happy not upset as long as U near car or can see trough glass I go into garage for milk or bread if I bring little fellow in with me he pull shop apart unless in buggy . I couldn't get buggy out everytime just fir a litre of milk he have screaming match at till and end up with some junk food everytime id shop. Id b stressed outa me head

Dunford

Wanderer78 wrote: »

stupid child care in this country. sick of it. it ll just never change

our child care here in spain works out at about 3€ an hour. also, its pay as you go.