Coming home? Are you thinking about it?

Wompa1

Suaimhneach wrote: »

It's such a complicated elixir. It's balance of cost vs reward. It's cost of living, vs ability to tolerate locale-BS (in whatever form that takes, from arrogance to local taxes) with so many dependencies like children, career opportunities, family care obligations. There is no one formula for all people, each person's solution will differ person to person. Most people value things differently. It's a unique decision, that takes a lot of consideration. There is no one answer.

Maybe we can concoct the perfect pros and cons list, and weight each answer, and then help people decide. I am thinking something like:

• Do you have many opportunities at home, career wise?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?
• Do you want to be close to family?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?
• Do you want to live in a city?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?
• Would a long commute be a deal breaker?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?
• Can you afford cost of living on your projected income?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?
• Are you concerned about educational opportunities?
  *** how much does this matter to you personally, on a 1-10 scale?

Someone smarter than me can then do the math on whether or not you should move home.

Use that kind of logic for decisions too. Weight the importance of each item and then answer and give the answer a value....but in the end, you can't really apply an algorithm to something so emotionally driven

CelticRambler

There's a lot to be said for doing a "proper" cost-benefit analysis - I've done it myself - but it's worth adding a line for the unknown opportunities, both educational and career, that might come your way. Of course, by definition there's know way of knowing what these are until your standing there looking at them!

Also, you need to divide "family" into the family you've already got and the family you're hoping/going to have. The parameters for the two don't always match up, so can require more compromise.

catbear

Compromise is the key.

Although I really miss my job I had abroad I do not miss being abroad.

I'm scratching by on a contract here and there since I got back but my wife has got work in her old field.

We consciously avoided Dublin although the way I see it we're watching all the buy to let amateur landlords of the bubble era trying to sell up on the dead cat bounce in property prices which unfortunately means loads of tenants being turfed out!

It a cluster**** of bad planning (no planning actually) coming home to roost but it will pass and then the polies will take the credit for the market stabalising!

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

nogoodnamesleft

Ive been "abroad" for the last 4 years living in the UK. I initially came over to the UK to study for a MSc and ended up getting a job offer from a multinational for when I graduated and remained here since as I progressed quickly to a mid- senior position within a large engineering company.

I worked in Ireland after I finished my degree and I had a very negative experience of the Irish taxation system as well as how the rules can be bent due to political reasons. In my experience this was with the company pension fund which was utilised to keep a mid sized company afloat (employees salary was deducted each month as normal however this was never remitted within 21 days to the nominated pension fund). This was reported to the regulator and the cpmpany finance dept was "warned". However this didnt protect the staff who lost money for when the company eventually went bust as the continued the practice even after the "warning".

The USC was also crippling (this was the lower rate before it really took hold!).

In 2011 I had the opportunity to return to do a MSc and to either do it in Ireland or the UK. I chose the latter and haven't looked back since.

The pros with the UK.

• Salary (I would be on about half my salary at home most of it going to the tax man)
• Opportunity
• Skill set development
• Networking
• Less Income tax 40% rate comes into being around £42k as opposed to ireland at 32k EUR.
• NO USC
• I can travel home easily (1hour flight)
  

Cons:

• Away from home and immediate family
• Cheaper property in Ireland generally
• Depending on circumstance the cost of living can be variable. Living on your own or have dependents as property depends on postcode as well as if its in the catchment of a certain school.
• Build quality of houses is shocking. A lot of the housing stock is older and insulation was non existent. A mediocre property is also a lot more expensive compared to at home.

I expect to be here for a long time yet as the differential between salary in Ireland and UK is huge. Added into that the fact that the taxation system would leave me about 6-7k worse off if I was on the same salary in Ireland as I am in the UK. I am not taking into account the cost of health care (private health insurance) and higher cost of motoring.

Wompa1

nogoodnamesleft wrote: »

Ive been "abroad" for the last 4 years living in the UK. I initially came over to the UK to study for a MSc and ended up getting a job offer from a multinational for when I graduated and remained here since as I progressed quickly to a mid- senior position within a large engineering company.

I worked in Ireland after I finished my degree and I had a very negative experience of the Irish taxation system as well as how the rules can be bent due to political reasons. In my experience this was with the company pension fund which was utilised to keep a mid sized company afloat (employees salary was deducted each month as normal however this was never remitted within 21 days to the nominated pension fund). This was reported to the regulator and the cpmpany finance dept was "warned". However this didnt protect the staff who lost money for when the company eventually went bust as the continued the practice even after the "warning".

The USC was also crippling (this was the lower rate before it really took hold!).

In 2011 I had the opportunity to return to do a MSc and to either do it in Ireland or the UK. I chose the latter and haven't looked back since.

The pros with the UK.

• Salary (I would be on about half my salary at home most of it going to the tax man)
• Opportunity
• Skill set development
• Networking
• Less Income tax 40% rate comes into being around £42k as opposed to ireland at 32k EUR.
• NO USC
• I can travel home easily (1hour flight)
  

Cons:

• Away from home and immediate family
• Cheaper property in Ireland generally
• Depending on circumstance the cost of living can be variable. Living on your own or have dependents as property depends on postcode as well as if its in the catchment of a certain school.
• Build quality of houses is shocking. A lot of the housing stock is older and insulation was non existent. A mediocre property is also a lot more expensive compared to at home.

I expect to be here for a long time yet as the differential between salary in Ireland and UK is huge. Added into that the fact that the taxation system would leave me about 6-7k worse off if I was on the same salary in Ireland as I am in the UK. I am not taking into account the cost of health care (private health insurance) and higher cost of motoring.

I think the income tax bracket for a single person has been raised to 33,800 and the USC has been cut. You'd also likely get a thousand or so back a year if you claim your tax credits.

I had considered a job in London and Manchester. It's probably a lot different in the East Midlands but what I was seeing was spending a lot more in commuting in London. Crazy tax due to living in the city. When I looked at Manchester, the council tax was also pretty off putting. Also, the crime rate was pretty high. It didn't help that the guy interviewing me had to direct me which way to walk when leaving because going to the right would bring me through a bad estate...

I think it's a bit crap in Ireland that the tax bracket for the single person vs a married couple with two earner is so drastically different. I know, a family has more expenses and all but it was very disheartening.

BailMeOut

nogoodnamesleft wrote: »

[*]Salary (I would be on about half my salary at home most of it going to the tax man)

are you sure? Unless your UK salary is quite big and the equivalent 'half' in Ireland also being quite large it is very unlikely that most goes to tax man.

Just for grins I did some very basic calculations using two online tax calculators, one in UK and the other in IRL for STG50k and EUR70k (which are about the same in today's fx rate) and for a single person with no credits, pension, etc.... the tax different between UK and IRL is STG3k.

CelticRambler

BailMeOut wrote: »

STG50k ... STG3k.

Point of order: UK salaries are paid in GBP. "STG" refers to sterling silver, which you're unlikely to see in your pay packet. :cool:

In my field of work, I found the salaries and take-home pay to be about the same, regardless of whether I took a job in the UK or Ireland, and the cost of living was a swings-and-roundabouts zero sum. But taking all factors into consideration, I'm financially better off working for less in a completely different place.

However, in the context of this thread and the notion of "coming home", I would think that purely financial motivation is no more important - and possibly less so - than other considerations.

nogoodnamesleft

BailMeOut wrote: »

are you sure? Unless your UK salary is quite big and the equivalent 'half' in Ireland also being quite large it is very unlikely that most goes to tax man.

Just for grins I did some very basic calculations using two online tax calculators, one in UK and the other in IRL for STG50k and EUR70k (which are about the same in today's fx rate) and for a single person with no credits, pension, etc.... the tax different between UK and IRL is STG3k.

Perhaps I should clarify. I would be on effectively half my salary in the sense that I could not remotely attain the package I am on in the UK compared to at home.

Using the same salary the difference when I calculated the taxation difference was approx 6k EUR the largest proportion of that was made up by the USC contribution. I would imagine that this would have dropped a little due to the USC changes in the last budget.

carrotcake

The new forum for returning emigrants has been created! http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1726

silja

Mod note: thread moved to the new Coming Home sub-forum

Suaimhneach

Should we start a new pros and cons thread or keep this one going? Maybe we can just split it out when it occasionally derails?

BlackEdelweiss

We (me, wife & 4 kids) moved to New Zealand 3 years ago. We have found it hard to settle here due to homesickness, distance from home, difficulty in maintaining contact with friends and family due to time difference but probably mostly due to how boring NZ is. We did not do much socialising in Ireland due to having 4 young kids but now our kids are older and one is at babysitting age we still do nothing as there is nothing to do. In some ways this is crap but in other ways it is a nice peaceful life and it appears pretty safe for our kids although there was an attempted abduction of an 11 year old girl on our street last week. The kids don't watch much tv, it has probably been replaced by Netflix and YouTube but there is less commercialism here and they are not overly concerned about the latest fashions or gadgets. There are positives and negatives to that as well. Some days my wife and I want nothing more than to move home or at least away from here and then other times we wonder are we crazy thinking of moving our kids back to all the things we thought worth moving them away from in the first place. I could get a job in the uk tomorrow and we are torn about what to do. It is horrible being so uncertain of what you want to do. I have rose tinted glasses about keeping in touch with family and doing more stuff if we came home but I know life would be much the same as before we left with sporadic contact with even close family members. We would love to travel to Europe but with 4 kids that is probably out of reach on an Irish salary.
I would love to move home but I would love to stay away as well.

Suaimhneach

I think you captured everyone's frustrations with these decisions, it can be so hard. I cant imagine how much harder with four kids. Sorry.

Tom Dunne

So I'm handing in my notice next week, which is the first step on the journey home.

A little apprehension, but I know its the right thing to do.

R.D. aka MR.D

Tom Dunne wrote: »

So I'm handing in my notice next week, which is the first step on the journey home.

A little apprehension, but I know its the right thing to do.

Congratulations!

We made the decision in July 2015 and it started to be really real in October.

It's exactly 7 weeks today until we land in Dublin. Honestly, I've been through every emotion and apprehension comes and goes.

I would say the closer we've got the less apprehension I've felt.

I think the hardest thing for both of us it to try to enjoy the time we have left here. We're both so focused on getting to Ireland, we just want to be there already instead of enjoying the moments we are in here.

wuffly

Tom Dunne wrote: »

So I'm handing in my notice next week, which is the first step on the journey home.

A little apprehension, but I know its the right thing to do.

Exciting! Best of luck with it!

We are in the ME as well so will be keeping an eye on how it all goes for you.

Planning to go home for most of the summer on maternity leave, so that will be a bit of a trial run for me!

cactusgal

BlackEdelweiss wrote: »

We (me, wife & 4 kids) moved to New Zealand 3 years ago. We have found it hard to settle here due to homesickness, distance from home, difficulty in maintaining contact with friends and family due to time difference but probably mostly due to how boring NZ is. We did not do much socialising in Ireland due to having 4 young kids but now our kids are older and one is at babysitting age we still do nothing as there is nothing to do. In some ways this is crap but in other ways it is a nice peaceful life and it appears pretty safe for our kids although there was an attempted abduction of an 11 year old girl on our street last week. The kids don't watch much tv, it has probably been replaced by Netflix and YouTube but there is less commercialism here and they are not overly concerned about the latest fashions or gadgets. There are positives and negatives to that as well. Some days my wife and I want nothing more than to move home or at least away from here and then other times we wonder are we crazy thinking of moving our kids back to all the things we thought worth moving them away from in the first place. I could get a job in the uk tomorrow and we are torn about what to do. It is horrible being so uncertain of what you want to do. I have rose tinted glasses about keeping in touch with family and doing more stuff if we came home but I know life would be much the same as before we left with sporadic contact with even close family members. We would love to travel to Europe but with 4 kids that is probably out of reach on an Irish salary.
I would love to move home but I would love to stay away as well.

Hey, that's a tough one with four kids. Just wanted to say that I understand your situation somewhat, I lived in New Zealand for 18 months and hated it. I hope you and your family are able to come to the right decision ... I would say move. Life is short, and nothing is worth living in such a faraway, isolated place. Unless you LOVE it. And you don't!

Goat Paddock

Was in new Zealand for almost a year, but with the stress of the Job and not settling in(was relocated between cities for work) ,homesickness etc I came back to Ireland. It's nice in new Zealand though. Might have settled given more time.

Tom Dunne

Tom Dunne wrote: »

So I'm handing in my notice next week, which is the first step on the journey home.

And it's done.

Tom Dunne wrote: »

A little unbelievable amount of apprehension, but I know its the right thing to do.

Now I can sleep again. I really didn't think it would be this difficult, but I can feel the relief already.

statina

Thats great Tom. I totally understand what you mean about apprehension, I had myself driven mad before I made the decision to come home weighing up the pros and cons of both.

Im home since Christmas and am absolutely loving it! Nothing was as bad as what I thought it would be- my partner and I got good jobs straight away and got accomodation relatively easy. My family have been unbelievably good in helping us get sorted, it makes such a difference to have their support. I dont regret coming home for a minute (even if the weather is sh1te!!)

Just beware of the problem that is car insurance- if you have been out of the country for more than 2 years, you lose your no claims bonus and its a nightmare if you dont have evidence (sufficient to what the Insurance think is correct) of having it abroad. Probley deserves a thread of its own actually!

carrotcake

statina wrote: »

Just beware of the problem that is car insurance- if you have been out of the country for more than 2 years, you lose your no claims bonus and its a nightmare if you dont have evidence (sufficient to what the Insurance think is correct) of having it abroad. Probley deserves a thread of its own actually!

There is one. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057528570
Let us know there how it went for you.

Suaimhneach

Delighted and excited for you Tom - let us know how you get on!!!

I will be home in less than a month, I CANNOT WAIT!

Aprilmay

We have been away over 4 years now. We have no intentions of going home so much so that we sold our house. Our kids where 13 & 10 at the time but they have now settled in. We did think about it in the beginning but not anymore.

Wompa1

Just had our first kid about 6 weeks ago which put this topic right front and center. We moved to be closer to her parents for support. Within a few days there was a school shooting within 2 miles of the new place and two kids shot while playing basketball in a park about a mile and a half away. Funny story...surreal moment. After her water broke, while driving to the hospital there was a police chase on the freeway we were taking..the chopper was buzzing above us with the spotlight on...

I decided to do a little exercise of reading the local news in Washington state...which is where my employers are based. They offered me a pay rise if I move there. After a week of reading the news there it seemed like there were almost as many shootings and random violent attacks as we have in Arizona. Perhaps, as one of my colleagues suggested I'm just soft :pac: Every time I see a story about somebody getting shot, it makes me sad and scared.

The only thing significantly better for us in this country than in Ireland is the amount of opportunities job wise but that's becoming less important, as I had mentioned before. My partner and I discussed what the plan should be for our son and us as a family.

We have agreed that in 2.5 years, we'll move to Ireland and rent for a year. Our son can go to pre-school there. If my partner hates it. We move somewhere else. I have refused to commit to moving back to Arizona. She's ok with this plan...for now!

Natonstan

Wompa1 wrote: »

Just had our first kid about 6 weeks ago which put this topic right front and center. We moved to be closer to her parents for support. Within a few days there was a school shooting within 2 miles of the new place and two kids shot while playing basketball in a park about a mile and a half away. Funny story...surreal moment. After her water broke, while driving to the hospital there was a police chase on the freeway we were taking..the chopper was buzzing above us with the spotlight on...

I decided to do a little exercise of reading the local news in Washington state...which is where my employers are based. They offered me a pay rise if I move there. After a week of reading the news there it seemed like there were almost as many shootings and random violent attacks as we have in Arizona. Perhaps, as one of my colleagues suggested I'm just soft :pac: Every time I see a story about somebody getting shot, it makes me sad and scared.

The only thing significantly better for us in this country than in Ireland is the amount of opportunities job wise but that's becoming less important, as I had mentioned before. My partner and I discussed what the plan should be for our son and us as a family.

We have agreed that in 2.5 years, we'll move to Ireland and rent for a year. Our son can go to pre-school there. If my partner hates it. We move somewhere else. I have refused to commit to moving back to Arizona. She's ok with this plan...for now!

Sounds like you're in the same position as us, we live in Texas, my wife is from here, I'm from Mullingar, we've been talking about moving to Ireland recently, obviously all of my family is back there and the little family my wife has here aren't too helpful or supportive about anything really, like you said the only upside to America is the job opportunities but at the end of the day, what is life if all you have is work..

Our plan is to wait it out 3-4 years and see how we feel afterwards, I've already started saving as much money as I can out of each paycheck so we'll be better prepared.

Wompa1

Natonstan wrote: »

Sounds like you're in the same position as us, we live in Texas, my wife is from here, I'm from Mullingar, we've been talking about moving to Ireland recently, obviously all of my family is back there and the little family my wife has here aren't too helpful or supportive about anything really, like you said the only upside to America is the job opportunities but at the end of the day, what is life if all you have is work..

Our plan is to wait it out 3-4 years and see how we feel afterwards, I've already started saving as much money as I can out of each paycheck so we'll be better prepared.

Her family is actually very supportive...my family in Ireland are very supportive of my brother and his own family but I'd rather not move to close to home...which might be another sticking point, we wouldn't have that support structure.

Her dad is due his retirement in 2 years. If we could get a place big enough, they could come stay with us for 3 months of the year. I also promised her that we could come over here for Thanksgiving or Christmas too. That way she'd see her family a lot more than I'm seeing mine.

Suaimhneach

Just wanted to comment and say I moved home this weekend, after two years of toiling over it and this mega-thread, thanks for all your support. Still planning to support this forum anyway I can

Tom Dunne

Suaimhneach wrote: »

Just wanted to comment and say I moved home this weekend, after two years of toiling over it and this mega-thread, thanks for all your support. Still planning to support this forum anyway I can

Wow. Good luck with the move, keep us informed.

Natonstan

Suaimhneach wrote: »

Just wanted to comment and say I moved home this weekend, after two years of toiling over it and this mega-thread, thanks for all your support. Still planning to support this forum anyway I can

Good man! Please keep us updated on how you're finding things, it would be really nice to hear, especially for those of us still on the fence about returning

Wompa1

Natonstan wrote: »

Good man! Please keep us updated on how you're finding things, it would be really nice to hear, especially for those of us still on the fence about returning

That's true! I'd love to hear that.

Tom Dunne

Just a quick update from me. To put it mildly, I'm feeling the love since I resigned. To the extent that they are doing their best to convince me to rescind my resignation and instead take a prolonged leave of absence. So should the worst happen and for whatever reason things don't work out back home in Ireland, I will have the option of returning to my job on the same terms and conditions.

While I haven't formally accepted it yet, I'm giving it some serious thought.

Wompa1

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Just a quick update from me. To put it mildly, I'm feeling the love since I resigned. To the extent that they are doing their best to convince me to rescind my resignation and instead take a prolonged leave of absence. So should the worst happen and for whatever reason things don't work out back home in Ireland, I will have the option of returning to my job on the same terms and conditions.

While I haven't formally accepted it yet, I'm giving it some serious thought.

You can't work remotely?

Wompa1

jank wrote: »

Many things you mention there are found elsewhere. Take for example retirements and rent. Pretty much the same in OZ.

Rent goes up more or less every year. However, you can negotiate with the landlord/agent. They are after good tenants and my increases have be fair and I am now in the same unit for the past 5 years. The result? Well I am now paying around 15-20% less then market rent. If you move every year then its like cutting off your nose in spite of your face.

Super is the same. Here though you can manage it yourself in a DIY super plan but if the market crashes the day before you retire, then unlucky for you. Its the same for all private pensioners the world over, hence why you should never have all your pension in the market and should divest into cash and bonds as you get nearer that age.

These issues are not US centric but more international and behavioral.

The one thing though about the US apart from all else scares me is the health insurance malarkey. We plan to have kids soon and could in all possibility be moving to the US with a view to having kids straight away. However, the health insurance thing is a huge worry for me, so much so that I will probably keep my Australian health insurance ticking over and if anything happened we we could avail of it. No use of course if one is critically ill dying in bed but if it was a elective procedure and we could do some planning for it then yes, I would leave a country at a drop of a hat and move to somewhere that offers the care I or my wife or kids need. I have used an American hospital before and they were first class but the company I worked for paid for the insurance/bill.

Will have to do alot more research into this in the future.

The lowest monthly increase for me was 60 dollars more a month. In my first apartment when I went to renew, they wanted an extra 200 dollars a month. No negotiating. They can do that here because moving means renting a U-Haul and getting help or paying movers. You have to pay deposits and "admin fees" when moving too...also you must have renters insurance and all kinds of sh1t.

As an update. This year I moved into a place that didn't have a fridge!! This was after viewing two places that didn't having a washing machine. It might be the same in some other countries but it's not the same in all developed countries. For example, in Ireland there's a minimum standard that must be met and it's regulated.

The problem with the retirement isn't the system so much...it's that you can't get a good retirement. They are rumored to be trying to cut social security entirely.

In one company I worked for, they had great retirement benefits towards my 401k but that thing is a huge racket too.

Tom Dunne

Wompa1 wrote: »

You can't work remotely?

Oh Lordy no, for many reasons.

First of all, because I work in a third level college, so I have to be there.

Secondly, because here in the Middle East the employment laws are, how can I put this delicately, not as advanced as what we would be used to in the West, the notion of remote working does not exist. Plus, there is a trust issue. If you are not in work, you are not working, simple as that.

I could write a book on the whole work situation, the politics and the practices!

FURET

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Oh Lordy no, for many reasons.

First of all, because I work in a third level college, so I have to be there.

Secondly, because here in the Middle East the employment laws are, how can I put this delicately, not as advanced as what we would be used to in the West, the notion of remote working does not exist. Plus, there is a trust issue. If you are not in work, you are not working, simple as that.

I could write a book on the whole work situation, the politics and the practices!

A minority do. The company I work for has no problem with it.

Tom Dunne

FURET wrote: »

A minority do. The company I work for has no problem with it.

It's more likely a public sector/private sector divide. The place I work in is government run. Did I mention I have to swipe/fingerprint in and out every day and that you get docked wages if you are a minute under your 8 hours? Very old-school.

Wompa1

This seems like the only safe place to vent!

A couple of weeks ago I went away for a weekend to meet up with a friend from Ireland who came over to the states for his 30th birthday. My cousin also flew in. My cousin is on his second marriage and about to have his third kid. He had warned me of the dangers of moving back to Ireland and taking my wife away from her family. Unhappy wife = Unhappy life.

Anyways, I spent all week and this past weekend thinking that I need to make peace and give in to staying here.

Then this morning our newborn son had a nasty rash on his neck. She started to panic. I told her to relax, that he's probably fine and it will go away. He kept crying...I told her he's probably fine but can sense how tense she is. I took him away and sure enough he stopped crying and was all smiles. Then I heard her on the phone to a friend talking about how she's scared because she doesn't want to go to the pediatrician due to our poor health insurance. (No co-pay, 3k deductible. Each visit would cost about $200 (at least, more depending on what they do))...that made my heart sink. Felt like a failure.

What's worse...she decided to try to look into getting her own individual policy for her and baby but because with my salary we make just over the allowable income, she can't get it.

I know the Irish system is awful. I've had nothing but bad experiences but jeepers...Reality is setting in. I'm thinking about changing jobs just to get better health insurance and I can't do that for 6 more months...(that's when her employers insurance kicks in)...right now we're in a period of hoping we don't get sick.

This country is the sh1ts....

Wanderer78

Wompa1 wrote:

This seems like the only safe place to vent!

Ireland's health care system is going in the exact same direction. I'm afraid we 'll all have crappy systems before you know it. Joys of neoliberalism. Best of luck with it

wuffly

Really sorry to here that Wompa, health insurance is an issue where I am too in the middle east. The last thing you want to be doing when you have a sick child is worrying about the cost of going to Hospital and treatment. For what its worth, on the pregnancy forum I've heard mostly good reports about the public system at home, even private a gp is still affordable at home and you get admitted and treated fairly easily depending on where you are. From my own experience of Hospitals and Drs in Cork/Dublin/Kilkenny I would rate the care and treatment it pretty highly compared to the purely for profit models that we have here. I grew up on a middle to low income farm and my parents always prioritised VHI. Over the years it has stood to them especially now they are both hitting their 70's and both my brothers, one of the dumbest things I did when i left ireland was to let my policy lapse and lose all the benefit of being a continuous customer. I was recently without insurance (my company is legally obliged to provide me with health insurance) for two weeks at 34/35 weeks pregnant and have paid out over 1500e (half of which was a trip to A&E) I will be reimbursed but I don't have it to be throwing around. Also my husband had a health scare and he is under my insurance at the moment. Its a lot of pressure, with a baby on the way and feck all maternity leave and pay available.

Glad that you baby is ok, will your wife's insurance be any better when it kicks in?

Regarding moving to Ireland and happy wife and happy life. If ye move and it doesn't work ye can always go back. Friends of ours that moved back to UK last year, didn't settle and are moving back here at the end of the summer, they have two small kids so its not a decision they have taken lightly. I just mean if she really isn't happy after giving it a go ye can always go back to the US. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision, but definitely avoid making an emotional decision. I know myself I need to wary of this as I plan to go home for the summer and I'm fairly sure that I will find it hard to come back here afterwards.

Best of luck and go easy on yourself.

CelticRambler

Speaking from experience, I'd agree with the "happy wife, happy life" maxim! :pac:

In your situation, though, doesn't this episode and your wife's concerns help your case for moving back to Ireland? Even if you yourself have doubts about the standard of care, at least you can get access for routine stuff fairly quickly and without the stress of up-to-the-eyeballs insurance cover?

And is your wife's family in the neighbourhood? If not, perhaps you could persuade her to start using (e.g.) WhatsApp or another messaging platform for regular day-to-day exchanges. If/when you move further away, that routine won't change and the problem of her family being far away won't be so pronounced.

Suaimhneach

Hey Wompa1,
Glad you can vent here
You're not a failure, the health care system is. Dont take that burden on yourself. I'm so sorry this is so hard. Having a kid is (as far as I understand it) one of the most tumultuous things you can do to up end your life. So dont panic, dont make any rush decisions. Take a year to let the kid grow a bit more and for you two to settle and stop beating yourself up. You cant make good decision when you're overwhelmed with guilt. Be kind to yourself.

Kevhog1988

really homesick today. have only been had two weekends off since xmas. im extremely burn out and feel like im being taken advantaage of

Suaimhneach

That sucks! Can you do anything to change the situations? Few holiday days or take some sick leave?

BlackEdelweiss

We have made our decision to leave New Zealand. It will be 12 months before we pay off all our loans and credit card bills and need to save then but we will be gone then. I would leave tomorrow if it were not for the debts incurred by moving and setting up here. We have given it 3.5 years and have never really liked it. We want to move to Edinburgh as we are not ready to return to Ireland just yet. It feels like a weight has been lifted from us now we have made the decision.

Wanderer78

BlackEdelweiss wrote:

We have made our decision to leave New Zealand. It will be 12 months before we pay off all our loans and credit card bills and need to save then but we will be gone then. I would leave tomorrow if it were not for the debts incurred by moving and setting up here. We have given it 3.5 years and have never really liked it. We want to move to Edinburgh as we are not ready to return to Ireland just yet. It feels like a weight has been lifted from us now we have made the decision.

Best of luck with it. It's a pity as its such a fantastic country. Too far from home though. Good luck

BlackEdelweiss

I honestly don't see why people think it is a fantastic country, some people seem to love it here but we have never liked it. I don't know what we are missing or not seeing but I can't get out of here quick enough. A colleague of mine once told me a joke, why do so many people come to New Zealand to retire? So the transition between life and death is not so hard! I totally agree with it. If you are single and well paid and into the outdoor lifestyle then maybe it has a lot to offer but it has nothing for us. I don't regret moving here, I got some good career experience, my kids got to experience life on the other side of the world, they have been exposed to Maori culture (thankfully just the good side they learn in school and not the reality), we got out of Ireland for the whole depressing/embarrassing water charges debacle. We met a few nice people, met loads more that we could just not understand their outlook on life. We can't wait to get back to a land of decent shops, nice takeaways, travel opportunities and most of all to have a bit of craic. Kiwis are the dullest bunch of people I have ever encountered but they have such the opposite view of themselves.

jacksie66

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BlackEdelweiss

jacksie66 wrote: »

I think it's a pretty amazing place. I'm just on my way back to Christchurch now from Dunedin after Black Sabbath. Dunedin is a great place. So many awesome places in NZ. It is what you make it. I've no intention of moving back to Limerick anytime soon.

Things seem to have improved a bit for you in the last few years, you were not too happy in ChCh back at the start from what I could gather. What changed it for you?

I dont think it is what you make of it as much as its what you can afford to make of it. I have 4 kids, I'm relatively well paid, my wife works full time but we have not left the house all weekend as we are skint.We have gone to all the beaches we wanted, I found them all drab and nothing compared to an Irish beach. We have done all the free walks, they all look the same, pleasant but not enough to keep us returning. I'm happy for all you people who love it but I wont be looking back as I get on the plane.

Blue Whale

theemigrant wrote: »

really homesick today. have only been had two weekends off since xmas. im extremely burn out and feel like im being taken advantaage of

Whats your industry and job? Could be down to that rather than. Your location