Thoughts on rehoming one of the cats

MrWalsh

As some of you know from my earlier posts, we took in a cat that had been abandoned by a neighbour a couple of years ago. Another neighbour also started caring for her around the same time and we essentially share her. We are home owners so we installed a cat flap so that she could have access to shelter and the outside while were were all out at work. She is lovely, an older lady now but quite an anxious cat and not a bit sociable - with people or other animals.

Then before Xmas we found a cat with kittens on the street and took her in, got her neutered, got homes for the kittens and thought we'd try to introduce her to the existing cat over time.

We have really tried our hardest to integrate them but the existing cat just refuses to interact. Worse - its stressing her out. And we have the apartment divided by baby gates to prevent them going into each others territory in there so we constantly feel guilty about one of them being alone (whoever happens to be alone is usually miaowing at the perimeter for attention). They do meet outside and cat 1 just runs from or tries to get away from cat 2 everytime they come into contact. Cat 2 is not exactly bullying her, but she does run at her and sit staring at her in her territory which is very stressful for her.

The neighbours we share the first cat with are moving at the end of the year, we were kind of hoping they would take cat 1 with them but its looking increasingly likely that they will not.

So we are starting to think it might be better for everyone if we rehome cat 2 - even though we love her a lot, but she is such a great cat, confident, sweet, pretty, fun, playful, young etc that she would adapt to rehoming and it would mean that cat 1 wasnt being stressed out anymore, and that cat 2 got more attention.

I feel bad about this but I really dont know what else to do as we said originally that if cat 1 couldnt cope with cat 2 that she would get priority as it would be very difficult to rehome her and she is so grumpy etc - but we are used to her little ways.

We've tried feliway, calm food, slow cat introductions, scent swapping, site swapping etc... we have been engaged with trying to integrate them since January but its just not working.

Any thoughts?

aonb

just wanted to say how kind you are to take in these two cats, and doing your very best for them. Dont beat yourself up about thinking about rehoming cat #2 - you do what you have to do - and you know that the home you might find for her will be one you trust... wish you the very best to finding a good solution - for you, and both cats

MrWalsh

Thanks aonb.

I suppose we won't make a final decision on it for another while yet but I just want to see if anyone comes up with an idea or just has any thoughts.

I'm also not sure how much stress is ok for cat 1, perhaps I'm worrying too much over her?

I don't know, I love them both but they don't love each other!

Pumpkinseeds

Maybe it's time to let them interact more, like trying to get them to play in the same room, not necessarily together but just let them have a sniff of each other and if there's a wallop here and there between the 2 of them it's inevitable. I really didn't think Felix and Toby were ever going to sort it out. We were at our wits end but they eventually got there. They may never be best buddies but in time they may learn to tolerate each other, it probably seems like forever but they've only been under the same roof for a few months.

I'd try letting them spend more supervised time together and make it rain chicken or whatever their favourite treats are, so that they associate each other with positive things.:)

MrWalsh

Thanks Pumpkinseeds.

Cat 1 refuses to go past the baby gates because she can smell cat 2. So the only option for same room is the front room and anytime we try to open the gates cat 1 takes off running out the cat flap! Even if it's lashing rain and cat 1 REALLY hates being wet! I've tried bribing her with food, a favourite toy, unseasonable conditions outside but she just runs!

We don't want to just let cat 2 have access to the front room without establishing a proper interaction because then cat 1 might be afraid to come in thereafter and be sitting outside hungry!

Shivi111

Hi, you have probably thought of this but, have you got high spaces that either cat can run to?
I've found, with getting cats together, if you have cat trees or cat shelves it really cuts down on the stress as the cat can run up high when it is too much for them. Boxes help too for cats who prefer to stay on the ground, lots of hiding spaces helps with new interactions.

kathleen37

High places is definitely a good idea - we have one cat that hates all the others and she's fine as long as she's sitting up on the window sill, or in her box on top of the range. If any of the others comes near her (to try get up on the window sill) she'll hiss at them and they leave her alone.

I too wonder about removing the cat gates - though you would need to close the cat flap at the same time. I'm hoping it may be a case for cat 1 that actual behaviour of cat 2 is not as bad as expected. Before removing gates though, if you could put a few boxes up (on top of the back of the sofa, on a table, even on an armed chair so the box is secure) and cat 1 is fully aware and hopefully using them first. For our huffy cat, it's always about escape routes if someone does decide they need to have a look out the window at the same time as her.

Good luck, I hope you get sorted with both of them as you are good for taking them in.

MrWalsh

Thanks for the ideas, cat 1 is more of a ground dweller alright but cat 2 likes high places.

My apartment is very small so space for high places and hidey places is a bit non existant!!

I dont think cat 2 will attack, so far she has seemed more curious, but supremely confident, she marches toward cat 1 while cat 1 cowers (this is with the gates closed but they can see each other) - and outdoors will go right up to cat 1 and sit looking at her until either cat 1 runs or cat 2 gets bored and saunters off.

Even without an attack, poor cat 1 is very stressed out by it all!!

We discussed it again last night, as they are meeting more frequently outdoors we are hoping that cat 1 will chill out a bit more!

I suppose there have been successes (cat 1 refused to come in for 2 weeks when she first realised there was a new cat inside - even though she was kept completely separated!). And she isnt hiding nearly as much now.

I think sometimes I just get impatient. It helps to have a bit of a rant.