Worst films and why

razorblunt

All this talk about swearing, reminded me of The Breed with Michelle Rodriguez. Not quite worst but definitely in my top 3.

It's a story about an island that has a feral pack of dogs that kill all intruders and some highlights include:

* The group trying to get to their sea plane (on a lake) to find it's not tied to the jetty but out in the middle of the lake, they swim out but at halfway there the plane turns around (not sure how) to show three of the dogs sitting on top of it, not sure where they were hiding or why they hid there so as to surprise them

* Whilst swimming back to the bank the camera cuts to the three dogs now chasing them to build tension, except when it does, the dogs are delighted with the excercise and look like your family pet out after a ball

* Michelle herself pulling an arrow from her ankle and wincing in pain screaming "ow, son of a witch". There's no swearing in this movie it reminded of the fella from Fr Ted, "fup off ya baxtard".

It's sitting at 5.0 on IMDB, 5!

TheCitizen

Un Croissant wrote: »

I didn't mention it being dull because people quote it. If memory serves I used 'and' in that sentence.

"If memory serves":pac:, this is a social media site what you've said is typed for all to see. And or no and, you've got it wrong anyhoo.

Un Croissant wrote: »

Pre hype is not neccesary for a film to be over hyped. In this case, post hype has sufficed.

It appears that you dislike the movie because a lot of other people like it. I reckon secretly you actually really like it.

Decuc500

razorblunt wrote: »

Michelle herself pulling an arrow from her ankle and wincing in pain screaming "ow, son of a witch". There's no swearing in this movie it reminded of the fella from Fr Ted, "fup off ya baxtard".

It's sitting at 5.0 on IMDB, 5!

I remember watching The Breed on Sky movies and it was edited for swear words. Presumably by moral watchdogs Sky themselves. I quite enjoyed it in a forgettable B-movie kind of way.

kunst nugget

razorblunt wrote: »

* Whilst swimming back to the bank the camera cuts to the three dogs now chasing them to build tension, except when it does, the dogs are delighted with the excercise and look like your family pet out after a ball

That's brilliant!

Gwynplaine

Six String Samurai - an awful film
Fear and Loathing - a film for waster stoners. Beyond terrible.
Baron Munchausen - atrocious film.

walshb

The Breakfast Club. What a snoozer!

dr.fuzzenstein

Gwynplaine wrote: »

Six String Samurai - an awful film
Fear and Loathing - a film for waster stoners. Beyond terrible.
Baron Munchausen - atrocious film.

Fear and Loathing is genius. It is told from a hugely skewed perspective, it makes Big Lebowski look like a completely straight movie. Toro steals the movie, I love the fact that he is not the usual "crazy but cute" comedy movie crazy, but really psychotically, violently unhinged. And still likeable and funny. Just watch the lift scene with Cameron Diaz, she looks genuinely freaked out. I dare say she wasn't acting. Depp looks like he is along for the ride, but in a good way, he just watches the craziness unfold. The ether scene really did it for me. I guess you would have to have been in a similar mindset or condition to fully appreciate what's going on, so if your tipple is just the occasional small glass of sherry on Saturday evening, this movie will not make sense.
Of course a lot of people are scared and confused by it and what confuses and scares people usually angers them. :pac:
You can tell by the reviews, people who don't like it, don't just dislike it, they hate it with a burning passion. Like Uncle Buck's hat, this movie angers a lot of people. My GF has two most fancied men in the world, Johhny Depp and Benicio del Toro (though Chris Hemsworth is catching up fast). She will watch literally anything with either one of them in it. She will not ever watch Fear and Loathing, it is far to crazy for her. To me it's like listening to Space Trucking by Deep Purple on the Made in Japan album. Chances are if that tune does it for you, F&L will also be on your enjoy list. If you don't like F&L, try something for me, check out that tune and tell me if it tickles your fancy...

Tipsy McSwagger

walshb wrote: »

The Breakfast Club. What a snoozer!

Time to close the thread things are getting ridiculous.

Tony EH

Some people on here wouldn't know a bad film if it bit their knackers off.

'Zombie Lake'

There. That's a bad film. Most of the budget looks like it was spent down the pub by the look of the shaky camera work.

dr.fuzzenstein

Tipsy McSwagger wrote: »

Time to close the thread things are getting ridiculous.

I'm just waiting for someone to say "Yeah, Citizen Kane was a real pile of sh*te, like it was black and white and all boring and stuff, like who gives a fcuk who rosebud was, give me more action!".

Tony EH wrote: »

Some people on here wouldn't know a bad film if it bit their knackers off.

'Zombie Lake'

There. That's a bad film. Most of the budget looks like it was spent down the pub by the look of the shaky camera work.

Noted! I will report back if and when I can be arsed to watch it.

Mister Vain

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Noted! I will report back if and when I can be arsed to watch it.

Here it is if you're arsed. There are some daycent boobs in it if that makes any difference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvnkJ_5TbYw

dr.fuzzenstein

Nazi zombies and boobs? If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
Mrs. Fuzzenstein already stipulated that this is not to be watched in her presence.

Un Croissant

TheCitizen wrote: »

"If memory serves":pac:, this is a social media site what you've said is typed for all to see. And or no and, you've got it wrong anyhoo.



It appears that you dislike the movie because a lot of other people like it. I reckon secretly you actually really like it.

I can assure you that that Is not the reason.

We do exist, though few in number. Some people just don't like the big lebowski. But fans of this movie seem to take that as a personal insult. Not liking any other movie doesn't drum up that kind of defence.

Maybe it's just boardsies, but I could say the godfather 1&2 are shíte and get nothing more than a few sighs. Say the same about big lebowski and people try to convince you that you don't know your own mind.

Un Croissant

Someone mentioned that Citizen Kane might come up. I won't go that far.. but... I did turn off Nosferatu mid way through. It was coloured. The audio, the dodgy colour, a complete unwatchable mess. Actually had a headache from it.

Wouldn't mind giving it another go.

Sad Professor

Un Croissant wrote: »

Someone mentioned that Citizen Kane might come up. I won't go that far.. but... I did turn off Nosferatu mid way through. It was coloured. The audio, the dodgy colour, a complete unwatchable mess. Actually had a headache from it.

Wouldn't mind giving it another go.

The original? It’s supposed to be tinted. This was very common in silent films of that era. They had no other way of doing night, evening or even early morning scenes with the film stocks of the time. In the non-tinted black & white version every scene looks like it was shot in broad daylight — because it was.

Un Croissant

Sad Professor wrote: »

The original? It’s supposed to be tinted. This was very common in silent films of that era. They had no other way of doing night, evening or even early morning scenes with the film stocks of the time. In the black & white version every scene looks like it was shot in broad daylight — because it was.

Yeah, it's been a few years but I'm remembering dodgy colours. Purple, maybe off yellow. Whatever it was, it was a nightmare I'm uncultered maybe.

ArtyM

Mister Vain wrote: »

There are some daycent boobs in it if that makes any difference.

I would be of the school of thought that it does, it really does.
I do not envision the day that my stance on this matter will change.

dr.fuzzenstein

Un Croissant wrote: »

Yeah, it's been a few years but I'm remembering dodgy colours. Purple, maybe off yellow. Whatever it was, it was a nightmare I'm uncultered maybe.

Well, I have a sepia colored version, no sign of dodgy purples or yellows, thank god. Great movie, Max Schreck is supremely creepy and sinister.
Well, not everyone can like all movies, would be boring, can't hold not liking Big L against you.
If I can persuade you about Nosferatu, there's hope for you.

TheCitizen

Un Croissant wrote: »

I can assure you that that Is not the reason.

I don't believe ya. Maybe you think it's hipster or something and you don't want to be seen as hipster.

Un Croissant wrote: »

We do exist, though few in number. Some people just don't like the big lebowski. But fans of this movie seem to take that as a personal insult. Not liking any other movie doesn't drum up that kind of defence.

Whether you like it or not is neither here nor there, the notion of putting it in a "worst films" category is frankly ridiculous.

Un Croissant wrote: »

Maybe it's just boardsies, but I could say the godfather 1&2 are shíte and get nothing more than a few sighs. Say the same about big lebowski and people try to convince you that you don't know your own mind.

You can say what you like, but you're still wrong.

Un Croissant

TheCitizen wrote: »

I don't believe ya. Maybe you think it's hipster or something and you don't want to be seen as hipster.



Whether you like it or not is neither here nor there, the notion of putting it in a "worst films" category is frankly ridiculous.



You can say what you like, but you're still wrong.

It's ok.... it's oooookay... *nods reassuringly* shhhh, it's ok... everyone loves your favourite movie

TheCitizen

Un Croissant wrote: »

It's ok.... it's oooookay... *nods reassuringly* shhhh, it's ok... everyone loves your favourite movie

That's just like your opinion, man.

Sad Professor

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Well, I have a sepia colored version, no sign of dodgy purples or yellows, thank god. Great movie, Max Schreck is supremely creepy and sinister.
Well, not everyone can like all movies, would be boring, can't hold not liking Big L against you.
If I can persuade you about Nosferatu, there's hope for you.

Sounds like you have the old Eureka disc. Get the restored version on the Masters of Cinema DVD or Blu-ray. It has the correct colours.

RedPandaDan

Only God Forgives is probably the worst film I've ever seen. How anyone could like that film is beyond me.

Un Croissant

Nicholas Cage had had a few stinkers. Knowing being one. Bangkok Dangerous being an atrocious movie that just came into my mind for some reason.

Can't remember anything about it, story wise, but I just remember the hopelessness I felt that it wouldn't end.

Tony EH

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

Noted! I will report back if and when I can be arsed to watch it.

And if that hasn't melted your mind, you can follow it up with 'Oasis of the Zombies', which is the same idea...but in the desert.

I don't know why I do these things to myself.

MRnotlob606

Mall Cop was the worst film I've ever seen hands down.

MRnotlob606

kunst nugget wrote:

Clarkson's a cúnt and the film is shîte but who doesn't love saying "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" in their best Michael Caine voice.

kunst nugget wrote:

Clarkson's a cúnt and the film is shîte but who doesn't love saying "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!" in their best Michael Caine voice.

Clarkson isn't a **** imo and he's great entertainment. A lot of unfair things have been said about him.

Tomagotchye

RedPandaDan wrote: »

Only God Forgives is probably the worst film I've ever seen. How anyone could like that film is beyond me.

When the guy sings the Karaoke I honestly couldn't describe what I felt, it was some performance that, completely stole the show...mesmerising. The film's a hard watch but is sound in its parts and as such deservrs no mention in this thread

darkdubh

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

Mall Cop was the worst film I've ever seen hands down.

Kevin James name in the credits of a movie is a very good reason to avoid it.

darkdubh

Don't Look In The Basement:one of the original films on the video nasties list and utterly dreadful.Theres a very gory murder at the very end but for the rest of the film almost nothing happens.Oddly I saw it on a DVD double bill with Carnival Of Souls,which is a classic and a totally different kind of horror film.

MRnotlob606

Mama.An abomination to the genre of horror movies.

Un Croissant

I watched Kingsmen last night and I can't tell if it's terrible or brilliant..

Un Croissant

Un Croissant wrote: »

I watched Kingsmen last night and I can't tell if it's terrible or brilliant..

Not sure why you bring it up in the worst movie thread. Think it's one of those movies that is horribly good.

e_e

Tomagotchye wrote: »

When the guy sings the Karaoke I honestly couldn't describe what I felt, it was some performance that, completely stole the show...mesmerising. The film's a hard watch but is sound in its parts and as such deservrs no mention in this thread

Seriously underrated film. Out of this world in its cinematography, surreal imagery, sound and just overall heavenly/hellish atmosphere. I've never seen the idea of redemption handled as beautifully as the ending here did, topped off with the karaoke sequence mentioned above.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJ4qDucAHwM

maximoose

Fresh from the weekend - Knock Knock

Absolutely atrocious. I love a bit of Keanu Reeves and well aware of his acting limitations, but my god this was bad.

BuilderPlumber

darkdubh wrote: »

Don't Look In The Basement:one of the original films on the video nasties list and utterly dreadful.Theres a very gory murder at the very end but for the rest of the film almost nothing happens.Oddly I saw it on a DVD double bill with Carnival Of Souls,which is a classic and a totally different kind of horror film.

I remember that term 'video nasties' and don't seem to recall much of what was on that list. The Last Temptation of Christ was certainly one? I am unsure if these films on the list because they were extremely violent or if it was for religiously offensive reasons. Anyone have a list of them and would they rate as among the worst films?

Tony EH

No.

Video nasties were largely exploitation films from the late 70's and early 80's. 'I Spit on Your Grave', 'Zombie Flesh Eaters', 'SS Experiment Camp' and of course 'Cannibal Holocaust'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_nasty#DPP_list

Most of these so-called "video nasties" are actually quite harmless, but I clearly remember the (faux) outrage from conservatives in 1984. Most of them have turned up on DVD and Blu Ray over the last decade.

It's absurd now, when you think about it. Not that a lot of clearer minded people didn't think it was absurd then either.

Some of them would absolutely rate as among the "worst films".

darkdubh

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

I remember that term 'video nasties' and don't seem to recall much of what was on that list. The Last Temptation of Christ was certainly one? I am unsure if these films on the list because they were extremely violent or if it was for religiously offensive reasons. Anyone have a list of them and would they rate as among the worst films?

No last Temptation came later,Tony Eh has already posted a list but heres another with illustrations.A lot of were on the list because of their titles or the video covers,like The Driller Killer which has a notorious reputation which is not really warrented.(btw Driller Killer original video cover was different to the one here,it was a scene from the movie showing a close up of a guy being drilled through the head)

http://www.imdb.com/list/ls051364249/

dr.fuzzenstein

maximoose wrote: »

Fresh from the weekend - Knock Knock

Absolutely atrocious. I love a bit of Keanu Reeves and well aware of his acting limitations, but my god this was bad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKMn5XKpl38

BuilderPlumber

Tony EH wrote: »

No.

Video nasties were largely exploitation films from the late 70's and early 80's. 'I Spit on Your Grave', 'Zombie Flesh Eaters', 'SS Experiment Camp' and of course 'Cannibal Holocaust'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_nasty#DPP_list

Most of these so-called "video nasties" are actually quite harmless, but I clearly remember the (faux) outrage from conservatives in 1984. Most of them have turned up on DVD and Blu Ray over the last decade.

It's absurd now, when you think about it. Not that a lot of clearer minded people didn't think it was absurd then either.

Some of them would absolutely rate as among the "worst films".

I watched the I spit on your grave film which is not bad overall. More or less the exact storyline was used for the 4th Dirty Harry film Sudden Impact. These Zombie films then are among the worst ever and totally laughable.

Compared to now, these videos are harmless. But in 1980s Ireland (where tame fare like Glenroe dominated our screens), these films were shocking!

Tony EH

Careful now...'Zombie Flesh Eaters' is an absolute masterpiece.

shazzerman

Tony EH wrote: »

Careful now...'Zombie Flesh Eaters' is an absolute masterpiece.

Not really. Cannibal Holocaust - now that is a masterpiece.

rob316

Two movies that had absolutely no redeeming factors were

Mama - awful over done CGI horror film, wasn't even remotely scary.

Gangster Squad - Huge cast, I'm thinking this will be a big blockbuster. Shocking stuff easily the worst I have seen in the last few years. Campy characters, no character development and a ending you could see before the film intro. 0/10

Tony EH

shazzerman wrote: »

Not really. Cannibal Holocaust - now that is a masterpiece.

Well, you'll get no argument from me there.

Good family fun.

MadYaker

Lesbian vampire killers. Bad plot, worse actors, just terrible in every way. You know the way some films are so bad they're funny so you can still enjoy them? This was even too bad for that. Seriously don't watch it.

RedPandaDan

Tomagotchye wrote: »

When the guy sings the Karaoke I honestly couldn't describe what I felt, it was some performance that, completely stole the show...mesmerising. The film's a hard watch but is sound in its parts and as such deservrs no mention in this thread

I actually quite liked the soundtrack!

Its a visually impressive movie with an poorly developed story and awful one dimensional characters... but I could say the same about Transformers.

Definitely the most polarizing film I've seen though... and for that it deserves praise if nothing else!

Not a NSA agent

Southland Tales. I cant remember what its about but I do remember it was awful.

furiousox

What's the verdict on 'Eraserhead'?
It's supposed to be a classic but I recall it as being relentlessly bleak and depressing.
It's ages since I watched it, not sure if I want to revisit it or not.

jh79

Tony EH wrote: »

No.

Video nasties were largely exploitation films from the late 70's and early 80's. 'I Spit on Your Grave', 'Zombie Flesh Eaters', 'SS Experiment Camp' and of course 'Cannibal Holocaust'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_nasty#DPP_list

Most of these so-called "video nasties" are actually quite harmless, but I clearly remember the (faux) outrage from conservatives in 1984. Most of them have turned up on DVD and Blu Ray over the last decade.

It's absurd now, when you think about it. Not that a lot of clearer minded people didn't think it was absurd then either.

Some of them would absolutely rate as among the "worst films".

New York Ripper and Ilsa are still pretty shocking and Fight for your Life could nver happen today.

Tony EH

'Ilsa: Shewolf of the SS' is a hoaky, but yeh I agree with you the 'The New York Ripper', which IIRC, was a nasty film. Another horrible one is 'The House by the Edge of the Park'. Some vile stuff there.

Never saw 'Fight for Your Life'. Is it any use? Relative terms, of course. :pac: