Mum visiting home, son won't talk to her

LegacyUser

My wife comes from very far from here and she has gone back home with the youngest (free flight) each year for a few weeks.
Our son who is three is staying back home with me this time as we cannot afford to fly out to her home town together.

We webcam every day but our son, who is 3 will not talk to mummy(he turns around in his chair and say no no no if we webcam during lunch or runs away if it's not at a table).

I can see she is very upset about it and I'm upset seeing that she is upset (and at the same time trying to understand why our 3 year old is acting so strange with his mum who he usually adores)

I really don't know what to do, I know this is spoiling her trip home, and feel that I should be doing something more to help the little man understand that mummy is coming back.

Hope someone can offer advice.

Neyite

I suppose maybe from his point of view, he might remember going on last year's trip, and now he doesnt get to go, his sibling gets the treat instead. If the sibling is quite young, there has already been an adjustment from having your (and your wife's) undivided attention diluted by the new arrival already.

I think you might just need to give him time to come around. Talk lots about nice things you'll all do when mammy comes home, and if you plan days out with him yourself it might help. Talk up how if the baby was here, he/she couldn't go with you both because its only for big boys etc, and play down anything that his mum is doing abroad that he might want to do.

We left our boy recently for a sleepover, and I was honest telling him where we were going, but played it down and let him think it was a bit boring and that by staying with his minders, and having lots of different toys to play with, he was getting the better deal. The promise of a really nice present sweetened the deal.

January

He's upset that his mum has left him and that's why he won't talk to her.

Understandable from him point of view really.

Just keep trying, he may soften.

LegacyUser

Has he ever used video chats before this?
How about talking on the phone normally?
My daughter got very freaked out by video chats initially couldn't figure them out in her head.

Does he talk about his mum during the day, ask for her at all?

Maybe don't try and make him say hello on the video chat you just have a quick chat and let him run off or play or whatever in the background. Send your wife lots of videos and pictures of him instead.

Chocolate fiend

Don't force him, and maybe just have the skype call going on in the background as he is going about doing his normal things. He is bound to resent her for going, especially if he understands in any way that it is a holiday or that she did not "have" to go. The only power he has left is not to speak to her, and he probably feels he is protecting himself by not talking to her. How much longer will she be away for? Could she come back soon rather than leaving him so distressed that he won't even speak to her?

Does he talk about her when the skype call isn't going on?

Miaireland

Is the child used to Skype? My friend had a similar problem with her daughter talking to her Dad when he was abroad. She thought the computer had eaten her Daddy and would eat her too.

I agree with the suggestion about leaving skype open in the backround and let him do he usual think. Theyn your wife can see that he is happy and healthy.

Otherwise maybe both of you download something like viber on your phones and see if he will talk to her on the phone.